The space above the table is free and unoccupied. I do not say, let us put our legs on the table; no, but let us, in the interests of Decorative Art, and in the name of all that is commonly sensible in furnishing, utilise this vacant space, and let us either support the table by four strong wires from the centre of the ceiling attached to the centre of the table, or by the same number of wires fixed to the four corners.

The wires can be golden-coloured or silver; or they may be as chains of flowers supporting the banqueting table. Or, if another plan be adopted, a handsomely carved brass rod, of bed-post circumference, could descend from the

ceiling to the centre, representing the trunk of a tree, while the branches would serve for light, and the effect would be what is expressed in the additional title, the "Picnicky Biffin Table."

(To be continued.)

THE GUIDE OF THE CYNICAL TOURIST.

Compiled by SIR CHARLES COLDSTREAM, Second Baronet.

Aberystwith.-Chief occupation of visitors-pebble collecting. Here they speak Welsh, and dine at one o'clock. Principal attraction-the Atlantic Ocean, which, at this point of its career, is strongly suggestive of the River Thames off Gravesend.

Boulogne.-Rather more English than Ramsgate. Bathing on the sands, with the occasional use of a Tidal Wave. Bone-breaking and other attractions on the Skating-rink. Port odoriférant three P.M.

Cologne.-Sights limited-drains unlimited. To prevent any unpleasantness, it is as well to remind travellers that, strange to say, killing a Cathedral Commissionnaire is considered murder, and not justifiable homicide.

Dieppe.-French watering-place of the usual character. Sun-dresses and chatter. The Casino will be found an excellent cage for jackdaws and parrots. Exeter.- Should only be seen from the window of a railway-carriage. Enemies may be recommended to visit this City, with the certainty of vengeance. Folkestone.-Dear and dull. During the calm weather, even the Boulogne Boat loses its attraction, except when Frenchmen are on board.

Geneva.-Brussels is a bad imitation of Paris, and Geneva is a worse imitation of Brussels. Mont Blanc is sometimes on view-when on view, Mont Blanc is uninteresting.

Hastings.-Pronounced by many of its visitors 'Astings.

Interlachen. Decidedly slow. Cockney accessories prominent and unpleasant. Jung Frau in the sunset-rather "loudly" dressed. Scenery-overdone.

Jersey. Better than Guernsey, but not to be compared with Southend. Knightsbridge.-Near the Park and the Barracks. Capital place at this season of the year. No one there!

Lucerne.-Table d'hôte at the Schwerzerhof Fair. This meal consumes about one hundred and twenty minutes-the remaining two-and-twenty hours of the day will be found excessively depressing.

Margate.-Several cheap excursions daily from London !

Naples.-After you have seen the Bay, take the advice of the natives, and die. You will have nothing else to do.

Ouchy.-Music and mist. The Lake monotonous. Company genteel, and the Sunday Scotch.

Paris. At this time of the year an excellent place for old melodramas, dear hotels, and sun-strokes. French spoken on the Boulevards, near the Palais Royal, and in the Rue de Rivoli, as at the best finishing schools of Clapham and Putney. Costumes of the visitors quaint and unpicturesque.

Quebec.-Comparatively new. When the electric telegraph is brought to perfection, you may spend an afternoon in travelling to Canada and back with some amusement. At present the trip is rather imprácticable, unless you are passionately fond of ballooning.

Ryde.-Would possibly be a very pleasant place indeed were it not for the yachts, the sea, and "the Island." Much patronised by Birming

Scarborough.-The Margate of the North. ham, Sheffield, and Lower Tooting.

66

THE HERZEGOVINA;

PERMISSIVE" RECREATION.

"DIZZILY, DIZZILY, LEAVE ME TO DROWSE,

UNDER THE SHADOW OF HUGHENDEN BOUGHS!"