All round a less sturdy resistance is made to as desperate attacking, As e'er charged through Quatrebras' rye, or up Waterloo's shotfurrowed ridge, 'Tis the charge that those gallant Scots Greys, the Macs, on the sixty are "macking" Who defend the Academy-pale as HORATIUS defended the bridge. There's MACALLUM, MACWHIRTER, MACGREGOR, MACBETH, and MACNAB and MACNEE, MACDONALD, MACTAGGART, MACLAREN, Macs of each clan and tartan and blood; Forbye Scots, though not Macs, of one mak' with the Macs of their kindred that be, GRAHAME, DOCHARTY, SMART, COLIN HUNTER, all sons of mist, mountain, and flood! Vestigia nulla retrorsum, gregarious and grey and grim fellows, From the spate, and the strath, and the shieling, they gather, the line bent to win: On the Royal Academy road-there's in Art a road Royal, they tell usMacs of all Adam's sons pressing most, with Macadam the pavements begin! But not only those sons of the mist, the Scots Greys, charge the R. A.'s in square, On their front and their flank, against face and rear-rank fierce outsiders level their point: The line they are breaking, and, wider way making, bring pencil and crayon to bear On the staggered R. A.'s, put by Northern arrays of swarming Scots Greys out of joint. There's TADEMA, LONG, and the MOORES, BOUGHTON, ARCHER, and MORGAN, and BOEHM, MARCUS STONE and VAL. PRINSEP and STORY, and BRETT, and the LINNELLS, and OAKES, A. HUNT, and G. SANT, and J. RAVEN, and OULESS, and-grant elbow-room! EYRE CROWE, and H. WALLIS, and WYNFIELD-outsiders whose claims are no jokes. WHERE, AND WHEN DO YOU WIDE?" There's LAURENCE in crayons unrivalled, and SANDYS, of draughtsmen a chief; BRITON RIVIÈRE, who 'twixt man and brute shows the likeness that proves kith and kin; HEYWOOD HARDY, who e'en in a fight with two lions has not come to grief; And the Young Guard, with HERKOMER, FILDES, esquires their spurs keen to win. Still the best for the last I have left, the brigade of the Ladies, to sing With a French HENRIETTE, and an English, in BROWNE and in WARD, to the fore, What occasion to dwell on their roll-call, to book their past triumphs to bring? With a STARR shining close to a THOMPSON; two MUTRIES— what need to tell more ? But if mild MARY MOSER of old, and ANGELICA KAUFFMANN the fair, Broke down the Academy pale, and their place in the forty made good, What once working women have dared, why should not working women yet dare, And these write R. A. to their names, though not Teuton but British in blood? Tree and Fruit. THE Times computes the collections made on Hospital Sunday "to have been much less than they were last year, while those again were lower than in the year before." That is, so far as we can judge at present." Additional returns of receipts will of course exhibit no falling off, but an enormous increase. Surely no other effect can possibly have resulted from the grand Revival which London has just passed through, with all the preaching and singing got up and supported by contributions amounting to no end of money. It is a comfort to find that the cock-fighters have one friend in a high place still left, a gallant officer, well-known on the turf, as the best of handicappers. ADMIRAL ROUS has lately, through the he visits Paris ? Times, asked, in words evidently warm from the heart, Can ON what étage in the Grand Hôtel does MR. MOODY lodge when Naturally, au Cinquième. PUNCH'S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT. LUTTER and flabbergastation of the Lords (Monday, June 21) at MOODY AND SANKEY's audacious invasion of their own peculiar educational preserve -Eton. What had the "Governing Body" been about? The Governing Body, said LORD LITTELTON, like many other governing bodies, had been quite in the dark. The Moody and Sankey service was fixed for three today; and the Governing Body met at twelve. How could a Governing Bodyand such a Governing Body, too-be expected to "move" between twelve and three? LORD SHAFTESBURY complained that no notice had been given of the discussion. LORD LYTTELTON retorted that no notice of their projected invasion had been given by MOODY BAILLIE COCHRANE for AND SANKEY and their "promoters." (We thank MR. LORD ROSEBERY, as Chairman of the Committee on the Representative LORD STANHOPE means to move that the power of creating Irish Peers be renounced by the Crown-the creation, on the whole, having turned out such an unsatisfactory one. (Come, MR. BUTT, that's what they call "Justice to Ireland!") (Commons.) MOODY AND SANKEY going to preach and sing at Eton!" was the one buzz of the lobbies, quite distracting the minds of Honourable Members from Committee on Merchant Shipping Bill, which, thanks to such distraction, perhaps, made some way in Committee. MR. DISRAELI gave notice the Government would want Tuesdays for the rest of the Session. General grumbling! "Do they make such a good use of the nights they have, that we should give them another ?" Tuesday (Lords).-Second and Third Readings of a batch of "unconsidered trifles," knocked off between opening the doors and twenty-five minutes past five. (Commons.) MR. HARDY, in MR. DISRAELI's absence, moved the modest demand for Government precedence on Tuesdays. Suppressed grumbling found many voices-LORD HARTINGTON'S, MR. FORSYTH'S, MR. FAWCETT'S, MR. DILLWYN'S, LORD ESLINGTON'S. "Honourable Members could not be in two places at once, like SIR BOYLE ROCHE's famous Irish birds." How was he, and many another "infelix Theseus" like him, to attend at once to his Committee work and his Morning Sittings ? MR. NEWDEGATE declared the "Order"-book-ironically so called-" could only be compared to a waste-paper basket turned upside down"-(MR. NEWDEGATE deserves a Cartoon for his suggestion, and Punch gives him one). Government had got into a mess, and now coolly claimed all the time of the House to get out of it." 66 Poor MR. HARDY, bowing his head to the pelting of this pitiless storm from all sides, recommended adjournment till Thursday, when MR. DISRAELI would be present to fight for himself. If the Morning Sitting was stormy, at the Evening Sitting it literally "blew great guns." MR. HANBURY TRACY (a gallant naval officer) moved the reappointment of the Ordnance Select Committee to act as a buffer between the Departments and the public. No doubt we had the best great guns going; but still it would be very comfortable if there was a break of big names naval and military, engineers (the civiller the better) and artillerists, to say, and, if need be, swear as much, and to prevent collisions between the Departments and those most troublesome of bores, the Inventors. CAPTAIN PRICE (a brother tar, but not tarred with the same brush), moved, as an amendment, the appointment of a Select Committee to inquire into the best way of furnishing the Navy with guns more trustworthy and efficient, our present armament being neither one nor the other. The gallant Captain (a gunnery officer, be it remembered) has since followed up his speech by a letter to the Times, in which he offers to bet any odds that the Monarch cannot fire two hundred rounds from her guns under fighting conditions without disabling one half of them. MR. HANBURY TRACY writes next day, to prove that CAPTAIN PRICE has put his foot in it awfully by this letter. (It is quite wonderful how these artillery doctors differ.) MB. E. J. REED backed up CAPTAIN PRICE. We were on a wrong road in our gunnery, and the sooner our artillery-heads were set in the right direction the better. (At the same time it may be as well to remember that MR. REED was once SIR B. WHITWORTH's partner; and that the Battle of the Guns has come to be something very like a duel between those gallant knights, WHITWORTH and ARMSTRONG. MAJOR BEAUMONT was against a new Ordnance Committee, and for breech against muzzle-loader. So was GENERAL SHUTE. CAPTAIN NOLAN declared the Government, for breeches-pocket reasons, had over-ruled its professional advisers, who were rather against breech-loading for field-guns, and in its favour for heavy artillery. MR. WARD-HUNT triumphantly appealed to the difference of opinion among the artillery doctors as a reason against calling in any more of them; and declared that the Government advisers were satisfied with the Government guns, and the Government with its advisers. Pleasant, after all the Committees we have had, Select and Un- BRITANNIA'S Naval Cadets recommends a little shortening and select, Parliamentary and professional, and all the millions we simplifying of examinations, and the abolition of competitive have spent, to find every question in gunnery open to such dia- entrance-examinations. LORD CAMPERDOWN does not think the metrical difference of weighty opinions!) evidence supports these conclusions. But they seem to commend themselves, on the whole, to common sense. Competitive examination may be tolerable as the counterpoise of favouritism. But there is a terrible weight of per contra to all that can be urged in its favour. An edifying discourse on Ecclesiastical Court fees, out of which £1000 a year is to go to the Judge under the Public Worship Regulation Act. LORD SHAFTESBURY complains that he can't get at the receipts of the Diocesan Courts and officers. Eleven dioceses, and forty archdeaconries keep dark, in defiance of Parliamentary Orders and Acts of Parliament. Doesn't LORD SHAFTESBURY wish he may get at it? Still more, doesn't he wish, if he gets at it, that the country may get it? When was it so easy to recover a bone from a hungry dog's mouth? (Commons.) MR. DISRAELI objects to too early a fixing of the day for the massacring to begin. About the middle of July, he says, has been the usual date of the melancholy announcement. Meantime, like the lambs and the spring chickens, At the same time, "the Admiralty was not bound to put its foot down, and declare the question should never be reopened." (Ah, MR. WARD-HUNT, is not that rather like "putting the foot down," and showing the cloven hoof-symbol of divided opinions and unsettled minds ?) Motion and Amendment were withdrawn, everybody who knows anything of the subject feeling profoundly dissatisfied with everybody else-and the House was Counted Out at twenty minutes to one. (The sooner JOHN BULL puts his foot down, and declares his determination to be satisfied whether he is or is not being made a fool of in the matter of his big guns afloat and ashore, the better.) Wednesday.-The House up to its neck in the filth of the Contagious Diseases Acts, on a Motion for their absolute and unconditional repeal. Punch prefers not to handle so foul a subject, only too much handled already, and with far too close familiarity. But he sees no reason to doubt either the sad necessity for these Acts, or their working, on the whole, for the alleviation of the evils which have rendered them necessary. Thursday (Lords).-Canada has contrived a Copyright Act, which recognises the rights of the English Author in his own brain-work, provided he will take the trouble to register and re-publish in the Dominion. There is one pirate less in the New World. Canada may be congratulated that she no longer stands associated with our American Cousin in robbing their common poor relation, the British Author. LORD SALISBURY finds himself obliged to fling over all that part of his Rivers' Pollution Bill which deals with river-fouling from mines and manufactures-in other words, the marrow of his measure. (Commons.) MR. DISRAELI meekly apologised for asking for the Tuesdays, and begged to withdraw his demand, seeing the House objected to grant it. LORD HARTINGTON complained that the House knew no more about the state of public business after the Prime Minister's speech than before, and wanted to know when the massacring of the innocents was to begin. Agricultural Holdings Bill introduced to the Commons in a tame speech by MR. DISRAELI. Grand fight, à propos of the Bill, between the "Mays" and the Musts," the advocates of permissive and compulsory legislation. Rather oddly arrayed-Liberal Opposition on the side of "Must," Conservatives of "May." Any landlord may contract himself out of the Bill. All landlords will do so, says MR. KNATCHBULL-HUGESSEN. Yet he objects to the Bill because it is not compulsory. So does MR. LowE, though all for freedom of contract. What chance would it have had with the landlords if it had been ? MR. MCCOMBIE speaking for the Land of Leases, pithily described the Bill as one of the most innocent ever introduced into the House of Commons. It gave nothing to the tenant-farmers and would take nothing from them. He forgets the difference between Scotch long lease-holders and English tenants at will-as a rule, Punch is glad to think, at good-will. On the whole, Government seems to say of the Bill, as Sophonisba said of her wound in THOMPSON's tragedy "Our Bill's so great, because it is so small." To which the Opposition seems disposed to reply with THOMPSON'S pit-critic, "Then 'twould be greater were there none at all." The Government has, since the Bill passed the Lords, agreed to strike out what LORD HARTINGTON calls its "key-stone"-the calculation of compensation on the basis of increase in letting value, The tenant's compensation is now to be determined by what he has spent the fairest basis. MR. KNIGHT, the out-spoken Member for West Worcestershire, has forced that change upon MR. DISRAELI. So modified, no doubt, the Bill will pass. What good it will work is an open question. It may work better than the Opposition are willing to admit. But if it effects no good, it can hardly do the harm they prophesy. As yet, Punch is bound to say they have not made out a good case against it. Friday (Lords).-The Committee of Inquiry into the training of | "Regardless of their fate, CAPTAIN STACPOOLE wants to move Parliament to move the QUEEN to set up a Royal residence in Ireland. The common sense of Parliament, and the uncommon sense (for this occasion) of the Home-Rulers is agreed-however desirable it may be that HER MAJESTY, or her Royal Family, all or any of them, should know and see more of Ireland-that Parliamentary pressure is not the best way to get them there. the opium-trade with China, and her pockets of its profits. But it is not a question (for JOHN CHINAMAN) of opium or no opium, but of better and cheaper opium (Indian imported) against worse and dearer (home-grown). His opium he will have, as JOHN BULL will have his tobacco; and there seems little more to be said against the opium (in moderation) than against the weed. Besides, England, that raises above thirty millions of revenue, directly and indirectly, out of strong drink, can scarcely, with a solemn face, affect to be scandalised at the millions of Indian Revenue got out of opium. Non olet-but gross hypocrisy does stink in the nostrils. MR. M. STEWART wants British India to clear her conscience of NEEDLEDOM v. NOODLEDOM. HE Age of Chivalry was the Age of Needlework."-LADY MARIAN ALFORD, at the opening of the New Rooms of the Royal School of Art Needlework. DEAR PUNCH,-Our race is on the rise, that's clear; I have not felt so proud this many a year! How long has all conspired my soul to vex! Robbed of romance by Singer; by the sex I best have served half flouted, in their zeal For alien "rights!" |