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Caius. By my trot, I tarry too long :-Od's me! Qu'ay.j'oublié? 'dere is some simples in my closet, dat I will not for the varld I shall leave behind.
Quick. Ah me! he'll find the young man there, and be mad.
Caius. O diable, diable! vat is in my closet?-Villany! larron! (Pulling Simple out.] Rugby, my rapier.
Quick. Good master, be content.
Caius. Vat shall de honest man do in my closet? dere is no honest man dat shall come in my closet.
Quick. I beseech you, be not so flegmatic; hear the truth of it: he came of an errand to me from parson Hugh.
Sim. To desire this honest gentlewoman, your maid, to speak a good word to mistress Anue Page, for my master, in the way of marriage.
Quick. This is all, indeed, la; but I'll ne'er put my finger in the fire, and need not.
Caius. Sir Hugh send-a you?—Rugby, baillez me some paper :—Tarry you a little-a while. [Writes.
Quick. I am glad he is so quiet: if he had been thoroughly moved, you should have heard him so loud, and so melancholy;—but notwithstanding, man, I'll do your master what good I can: and the very yea and the no is, the French doctor, my master,-I may call him iny master, look you, for I keep his house; and I wash, wring, brew, bake, scour, dress meat and drink, make the beds, and do all myself;
Sim. 'Tis a great charge, to come under one body's hand.
Quick. Are you avis'd o’that? you shall find it a great charge: and to be up early, and down late ;--but notwithstanding (to tell you in your ear; I would have no words of it;) my master himself is in love with mistress Anne Page: but notwithstanding that, I know Anne's mind,—that's neither here nor there.
Caius. You jack’nape; give-a dis letter to Sir Hugh; by gar, it is a shallenge: I vill cut his troat in de park; and I vill teach a scurvy jack-a-nape priest to meddle or make:—you may be gone; it is not good you tarry here:—by gar, I vill cut all his two stones; by gar, he shall not have a stone to trow at his dog. [Exit Simple.
Quick. Alas, he speaks but for his friend.
Caius. It is no matter-a for dat:do not you tell-a me dat I shall have Anne Page for myself?-by gar, vill kill de Jack priest; and I have appointed mine host of de Jarterre to measure our weapon:—by gar, I vill myself have Anne Page.
Quick. Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be well : we must give folks leave to prate: What, the good-jer! Caius. Rugby, come to the court vit me;-by gar,
if I have not Anne Page, I shall turn your head out of my door :-Follow my heels, Rugby.
(Exeunt Caius and Rugby. Quick. You shall have An fools-head of your own. No, I know Anne's mind for that: never a woman in Windsor knows more of Anne's mind than I do; nor can do more than I do with her, I thank heaven.
Fent. [Within.] Who's within there, ho?
Quick. Who's there, I trow? Come near the house, 1 pray you.
Quick. The better, that it pleases your good worship to ask.
Fent. What news? how does pretty mistress Anne?
Quick. In truth, sir, and she is pretty, and honest, and gentle; and one that is your friend, I can tell you that by the way; I praise heaven for it.
Fent. Shall I do any good, thinkest thou? Shall I nol lose my suit?
Quick. Troth, sir, all is in his hands above: but notwithstanding, master Fenton, I'll be sworn on a book,
she loves you:—Have not your worship a wart above your eye?
Fent. Yes, marry, have I; what of that?
Quick. Well, thereby hangs a tale;- good faith, it is such another Nan :-but, I detest, an honest maid as ever broke bread ;--We had an hour's talk of that wart;—I shall never laugh but in that maid's company. -But, indeed, she is given too much to allicholly and musing : but for youWell, go to.
Fent. Well, I shall see her to-day: hold, there's money for thee; let me have thy voice in my behalf: if thou seest her before me, commend me
Quick. Will I? i'faith, that we will; and I will tell your worship more of the wart, the next time we have confidence; and of other wooers. Fent. Well, farewell; I am in great haste now.
[Exit. Quick. Farewell to your worship.-Truly, an honest gentleman; but Anne loves him not; for I know Anne's mind as well as another does :-Out upon't! what have I forgot?
SCENE 1. Before Page's House.
Enter Mistress PAGE, with a Letter. Mrs. Page. What! have I 'scaped love-letters in the holy-day time of my beauty, and am I now a subject for them? Let me see:
Reads. Ask me no reason why I love you; for though love use reason for his precisian, he admits him not for his counsellor: You are not young, no more am I; go to then, there's sympathy: you are merry, so am I; ha! ha! then there's more sympathy: you love sack, and so do 1; would you desire better sympathy? Let it suffice thee, mistress Page, (at the least, if the love of a soldier can suffice, ) that I love thee. I will not say, pity me, 'tis not a soldier-like phrase ; but I say, love me. By me,
Thine own true knight,
kind of light,
What a Herod of Jewry is this !—0 wicked, wicked world !-one that is well nigh worn to pieces with age, to show himself a young gallant! What an unweighed behaviour hath this Flemish drunkard picked (with the devil's name) out of my conversation, that he dares in this manner assay me? Why, he hath not been thrice in my company!What should I say to him !—I was then frugal of my mirth :-heaven forgive me!-Why, I'll exhibit a bill in the parliament for the putting down of
How shall I be revenged on him? for revenged I will be, as sure as his guts are made of puddings.
Enter Mistress FORD. Mrs. Ford. Mistress Page! trust me, I was going to
Mrs. Page. And, trust me, I was coming to you. You look very ill.
Mrs. Ford. Nay, I'll ne'er believe that; I have lo show to the contrary. Mrs. Page. 'Faith, but you do, in my
mind. Mrs. Ford. Well, I do then; yet, I say, I could show you to the contrary: 0, mistress Page, give me some counsel !
Mrs. Page. What's the matter, woman?
Mrs. Ford. O woman, if it were not for one trifling respect, I could come to such honour!
Mrs. Page. Hang the trifle, woman; take the honour : what is it? -dispense with trifles ;-what is it?
Mrs. Ford. If I would but go to hell for an eternal moment, or so, I could be knighted.
Mrs. Page. What?—thou liest!--Sir Alice Ford !These knights will hack; and so thou shouldst not alter the article of thy gentry.
Mrs. Ford, We burn day-light:-here, read, read ;perceive how I might be knighted.—I shall think the worse of fat men, as long as I have an eye to make difference of men's liking: and yet he would not swear; praised women's modesty: and gave such orderly and well-behaved reproof to all uncomeliness, that I would have sworn his disposition would have gone to the truth of his words : but they do no more adhere and keep