And others, who in solemn sort,
Appear with slender wands at court;
Not firmly join'd to keep their ground,
But lashing one another round:
While wise men think they ought to fight
With quarterstaffs instead of white;
Or constable with staff of peace,
Should come and make the clattering cease;
Which now disturbs the queen and court,
And gives the whigs and rabble sport.
In history we never found
The consul's fasces were unbound:
Those Romans were too wise to think on't,
Except to lash some grand delinquent.
How would they blush to hear it said,
The prætor broke the consul's head!
Or consul, in his purple gown,
Came up, and knock'd the prætor down!
Come, courtiers: every man his stick!
Lord treasurer, for once be quick :
And that they may the closer cling,
Take your blue ribbon for a string.
Come, trimming Harcourt,* bring your mace
And squeeze it in, or quit your place :
Despatch, or else that rascal Northeyt
Will undertake to do it for thee:
And be assur'd, the court will find him
Prepar'd to leap o'er sticks, or bind them.
To make the bundle strong and safe,
Great Ormond, lend thy general's staff:
And, if the crosier could be cramm'd in,
A fig for Lechmere, King, and Hambden!
Sir Edward Northey, attorney general. H.
Now Delawar* again familiar grows;
And in Swift's ear thrusts half his powder'd nose.
The Scottish nation, whom he durst offend,
Again apply that Swift would be their friend.t
By faction tir'd, with grief he waits a while,
His great contending friends to reconcile,
Performs what friendship, justice, truth require:
What could he more, but decently retire?
WRITTEN WHEN THE MINISTRY WERE AT VARIANCE. 1713.
OBSERVE the dying father speak:
Try, lads, can you this bundle break?
Then bids the youngest of the six
Take up a well-bound heap of sticks.
They thought it was an old man's maggot;
And strove by turns to break the faggot :
In vain; the complicated wands
Were much too strong for all their hands.
See, said the sire, how soon 'tis done:
Then took and broke them one by one.
So strong you'll be, in friendship tied;
So quickly broke, if you divide.
Keep close then, boys, and never quarrel;
Here ends the fable, and the moral.
This tale may be apply'd in few words
To treasurers, comptrollers, stewards;
*Then lord treasurer of the household, who cautiously avoided Swift while the proclamation was impending. H
He was visited by the Scotch lords more than ever. H.
And others, who in solemn sort,
Appear with slender wands at court;
Not firmly join'd to keep their ground,
But lashing one another round:
While wise men think they ought to fight
With quarterstaffs instead of white;
Or constable with staff of peace,
Should come and make the clattering cease;
Which now disturbs the queen and court,
And gives the whigs and rabble sport.
In history we never found
The consul's fasces were unbound:
Those Romans were too wise to think on't,
Except to lash some grand delinquent.
How would they blush to hear it said,
The prætor broke the consul's head!
Or consul, in his purple gown,
Came up, and knock'd the prætor down!
Come, courtiers: every man his stick!
Lord treasurer, for once be quick :
And that they may the closer cling,
Take your blue ribbon for a string.
Come, trimming Harcourt,* bring your mace
And squeeze it in, or quit your place :
Despatch, or else that rascal Northey†
Will undertake to do it for thee:
And be assur'd, the court will find him
Prepar❜d to leap o'er sticks, or bind them.
To make the bundle strong and safe,
Great Ormond, lend thy general's staff:
And, if the crosier could be cramm'd in,
A fig for Lechmere, King, and Hambden!
Sir Edward Northey, attorney general. H.
WRITTEN AT WINDSOR, 1713.
THE shepherds and the nymphs were seen
Pleading before the Cyprian queen.
The counsel for the fair began,
Accusing the false creature Man.
The brief with weighty crimes was charg'd,
On which the pleader much enlarg❜d;
That Cupid now has lost his art,
Or blunts the point of every dart ;—
His altar now no longer smokes,
His mother's aid no youth invokes :
This tempts freethinkers to refine,
And bring in doubt their powers divine;
Now love is dwindled to intrigue,
And marriage grown a money league;
Which crimes aforesaid (with her leave)
Were (as he humbly did conceive)
Against our sov'reign lady's peace,
Against the statute in that case,
Against her dignity and crown;
Then pray'd an answer, and sat down.
The nymphs with scorn beheld their foes : When the defendant's counsel rose,
And, what no lawyer ever lack'd,
With impudence own'd all the fact;
But, what the gentlest heart would vex,
Laid all the fault on t'other sex.
* This is thought to be one of Dr. Swift's correctest pieces. Its chief merit, indeed, is the elegant ease with which a story, but ill conceived in itself, is told. GOLDSMITH.
Within an hour and eke a half,
I preach'd three congregations deaf;
Where thundering out, with lungs longwinded,
I chopp'd so fast, that few there minded.
My emblem, the laborious sun,
Saw all these mighty labours done
Before one race of his was run.
All this perform'd by Robert Hewit:
What mortal else could e'er go through it!
WHO can believe with common sense,
A bacon slice gives God offence;
Or, how a herring has a charm
Almighty vengeance to disarm?
Wrapp'd up in majesty divine,
Does he regard on what we dine?
* A French gentleman dining with some company on a fast-day, called for some bacon and eggs. The rest were very angry, and reproved him for so heinous a sin: whereupon he wrote the following lines extempore; which are translated above:
Peut on croire avec bon sens
Qu'un lardon le mit en colère,
Ou, que manger un hareng,
C'est un secret pour lui plaire?
En sa gloire envelopé,
Songe-t-il bien de nos soupés? H.
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