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i Lord. Hoodman comes: Portotartarosa.
Int. He calls for the tortures ; what, will you say without 'em?
Par. I will confess what I know without constraint; if ye pinch me like a pasty, I can say no more.
Int. Bosko Chimurcho.
Int. You are a merciful General: our General bids you answer to what I shall ask you out of a note.
Par. And truly, as I hope to live.
Int. First demand of him, how many Horse the Duke is strong. What say you to that?
Par. Five or fix thousand, but very weak and unsere yiceable; the troops are all scatter'd, and the Commanders very poor rogues, upon my reputation and credit, and as I hope to live.
Int. Shall I set down your answer fo?
Par. Do, l'll take the Sacrament on't, how and which way you will : all's one to me.
Ber. What a past-saving slave is this !
i Lord. Y'are deceiv'd, my Lord, this is Monsieur Parolles, the gallant militarist, that was his own phrase, that had the whole theory of war in the knot of his scarf, and the practice in the chape of his dagger.
2 Lord. I will never trust a man again for keeping his sword clean ; nor believe, he can have every thing in him by wearing his apparel neatly.
Int. Well, that's set down.
Par. Five or fix thousand horse I said, (I will say true,) or thereabouts, set down; for I'll speak truth.
i Lord. He's very near the truth in this.
Ber. But I con him no thanks for't, in the nature he delivers it. Par. Poor rogues, I pray you, fay. Int. Well, that's set down.
Par. I humbly thank you, Sir; a truth's a truth, the rogues are marvellous poor. Int.
Demand of him, of what strength they are a-foot. What say you to that ? Par. By my troth, Sir, if I were to live this present
hour, I will tell true. Let me fee; Spurio a hundred and fifty, Sebastian so many, Corambus lo many, aques so many ; Guiltian, Cofmo, Lodowick, and Gratii, two hundred and fifty each'; mine own company, Chitopher, Vaumond, Bentii, two hundred and fifty each; so that the mufter file, rotten and sound, upon my life amounts not to fifteen thousand Poll; half of the which dare not shake the snow from off their cassocks, left they shake themselves to pieces. Ber. What sha!l be done to him ?
i Lord. Nothing, but let him have thanks. Demand of him my conditions, and what credit I have with the Duke.
Int. Well, that's set down. You shall demand of him, whether one Captain Dumain be i'th' camp, a Frenchman : what his reputation is with the Duke, what his valour, honesty, and expertness in war; or whether he thinks, it were not possible with wellweighing sums of gold to corrupt him to a revolt. What say you to this ? what do you know of it ?
Par. I beseech you, let me answer to the particular of the Interrogatories. Demand them fingly. Int. Do you know this Captain Dumain
Par. I know him; he was a botcher's prentice in Paris
, from whence he was whipt for getting the sheriff's fool with child ; a dumb innocent, that could not say him
nay. Ber. Nay, by your leave, hold your hands; tho' I know, his brains are forfeit to the next tile that falls.
Int. Well, is this. Captain in the Duke of Florence's
i Lord. Nay, look not lo upon me, we shall hear of your Lordship anon.
Int. What is his reputation with the Duke? Par. The Duke knows him for no other but a poor officer of mine, and writ to me the other day to turn : him out o'th' band. I think, I have his letter in my pocket.
Int. Marry, we'll search,
Par. In good sadness, I do not know ; either it is there, or it is upon the file with the Duke's other letters in my tent.
Int. Here ʼtis, here's a paper, shall I read it to you?
Par. That is not the Duke's letter, Sir; that is an advertisement to a proper maid in Florence, one Diana, to take heed of the allurement of one Count Rousillon, a foolish idle boy ; but, for all that, very ruttih. I pray you, Sir, put it up again. Int. Nay, I'll read it first, by your
favour. Par. My meaning in't, I protest, was very honest in the behalf of the maid; for I knew the young Count to be a dangerous and lascivious boy, who is a whale to virginity, and devours up all the fry it finds. Ber. Damnable! both sides rogue.
Interpreter reads the letter.
After he scores, he never pays the score :
He ne'er pays after-debts, take it before.
(22) Men are to mell with, boys are not to kiss.] All the Editois have obtruded a new Maxim upon us here, that Boys are not to kifs. Livia, in Beaumont and Fletcher's Tamer tam'd, is of a quite opposite Opinion.
For Boys were made for Nothing but dry Kules. And our Poet's Thought, I ain perswaded, went to the sam Tune; that Boys are only to kiss; Men to mingle with, an! give more substantial Pleasures. To mall, is deriy'd from the French Word, méler; to mingle.
Ber. He shall be whipt through the army with this shime in his forehead.
2 Lord. This is your devoted friend, Sir, the manifold linguist, and the armi-potent soldier.
Ber. I could endure any thing before but a cat, and now he's a cat to me.
Int. I perceive, Sir, by the General's looks, we shall be fain to hang you:
Par. My life, Sir, in any case; not that I am afraid to die; but that my offences being many, I would repent out the remainder of nature. Let me live, Sir, in a Dungeon, i'thi Stocks, any where, so I may live. Int. We'll see what may be done, so you
confess freely; therefore, once more, to this Captain Dumain: you have answer'd to his reputation with the Duke, and to his valour. What is his honesty ?
Par. He will steal, Sir, an egg out of a cloister; for rapes and ravishments he parallels Nesus. He professes no keeping of oaths ; in breaking them he is stronger than Hercules. He will lie, Sir, with such volubility, that you would think, truth were a fool : drunkenness is his beft virtue, for he will be swinedrunk, and in his sleep he does little harm, fave to his bed-cloaths about him; but they know his conditions, and lay him in straw. I have but little more to say, Sir, of his honesty, he has every thing that an honest man should not have ; what an honest man should have, he has nothing
1 Lord. I begin to love him for this.
Ber. For this description of thine honesty? a pox upon him for me, he is more and more a cat.
Int. What say you to his expertness in war?
Par. Faith, Sir, h'as led the drum before the ErMelis Tragedians : to belie him, I will not; and more
of his soldiership I know not; except, in that country, he had the honour to be the Officer at a place there Lail'd Mile-end, to instruct for the doubling of files. I
would do the man what honour I can, but of this I am A not certain.
i Lord. He hath out-villain'd villany so far, that the rarity redeems him.
Ber. A pox on him, he's a cat ftill.
Int. His Qualities being at this poor price, I need not to ask you, if gold will corrupt him to revolt.
Par. Sir, for a Quart-d'ecu he will sell the fee-fimple of his salvation, the inheritance of it, and cut th’intail from all remainders, and a perpetual succession for it perpetually.
Int. What's his Brother, the other Captain Dumain! 2 Lord. Why does he ask him of me? Int. What's he?
Par. E'en a crow o'th' fame nest; not altogether fo great as the first in goodness, but greater a great deal in evil. Hé excels his Brother for a Coward, yet his brother is reputed one of the best that is. In a Retreat he out-runs any lacquey ; marry, in coming on he has
Int. If your life be saved, will you undertake to betray the Florentine ?
Par. Ay, and the Captain of his horse, Count Roxfillon.
Int. I'll whisper with the General, and know his pleasure.
Par. I'll no more drumming, a plague of all drums Only to seem to deserve well, and to beguile the suppo sition of that lascivious young boy the Count, have run into danger ; yet who would have fufpected an am bush where I was taken ?
[Afide Int. There is no remedy, Sir, but you must die ; the General fays, you, that have fo traiterously discovered the secrets of your army, and made fuch peftiferous re ports of men very nobly held, can serve the world for no honest use; therefore you must die. Come, headi man, off with his head.
Par. O lord, Sir, let me live, or let me see death.
Int. That shall you, and take your leave of all your friends.
[Unbinding bis So, look about you ; know you any here?