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Allirade. The old tradesman act Hamlet !
Stopgap. Even fo-he always will act the best part-but here he comes, and spite of the bad houses, all bustle, life, and animation !
Enter Mist. Mit. Damn that now waggon-not here 'till season's over-however, sure of col lol house to night-fine day-strong bill-nothing againstwhat Jack ! Jack Alltrade !-why what brings you to this- oh! oh!- y dog !-written a Farcecan't get it acted in London--and so come
Alltrade. Not I upon my honour.
Mift. Want an engagement then!-what's your line? Ben, Scrub, and Calliban; or Richard, Romeo, and the tiptops—no difference though-tragedy or comedy-play which you will, Jacksure to encertain audience-he! he! he!
Alltrade. Why 'Slife-here's an alteration ! when I last saw you, you were leaving off trade with a capital fortune, and retiring into the country free from the cares and vexation of business.
Mift. Hem! much you know of the matter when I lost care and vexation, lost my two best friends.
Alltrade. Care and vexation your best friends!
Mift. Yes : couldn't tell what to do with myself all day long watching clock, or yawning at street door--could’oc bear it-hardly alive-thought of opening new shop when one lucky day !-play house put up at auction-always had cheatrical twist-lo bid handsomely-knock'd down at large sum to be sure-but what then? been happy ever fince had care and vexation in abundance-but
mum-Shan't stop here-London-Covent Garden -Drury Lane-they're my object!
Alltrade. Indeed !-then why not make them your object now ? - why not engage London players?
Mist. Um! (snapping his fingers)—that for London players--and that for London authorsfoon have best actor and finest writer living-heh: know who I mean? (mimics Harlequin.)
Alltrade. Harlequin !
Mift. Right-back his wooden sword against their wooden heads-bring all Europe--young and old boys little babies, and full grown babies :--and then for falary-only twelve Thillings a week, and fare of now waggon-whereas these London gentlemen, with their ten pounds a night and post chaises and four besides, won't do here?-don't I come from London ?-don't I act Hamlet, and to what?-not enough to pay the lighting ?--but can't stay-must go look after the tricks must get all sinooth 'gainst great man's arrival.
Alltrade. Nay: I've an invitation for you, • Mrs. Dazzle is extreinely anxious about her play, and requests you'd wait upon her.
Mijt. I wait!—who's manager? - besides d-d ftuff I suppose.
Alltrade. That I can't say—but when I tell you, dhe is a lady I have the greatest regard for
Mist. Enough--come this evening-be there before doors open-till when, in the words of Hamlet,'Remember me ! · Alltrade. Hamlet !-in the words of the Ghost, you mean.
Mit. Yes: but when I act Hamlet, play the Ghost too-always take every good speech in the
play and whip into my part-I'm manager he! he! he !
Alltrade. Well, adieu—and after the reading, I'll look in at the theatre.
Mit. Do-fhan't cost you a farthing--put you in at stage door, and fit in my box-Strong bill tonight-Beggar's Opera in two acts—Filch by a gentleman of the law, being his first and last appearance on any stage-after which, a grand spectacle of my own writing, called “ Gulliver the “ Great." In the first act, all the characters will be killed in the second, introduced their executors, administrators, and assigns but come and judge. I say though, when new pantomime comes out, trouble you not to walk about the town, Jack.
Mift. Why !-who'll pay to look at my clown, when they can see you for nothing-he! he! he! -come along, Stop.
THE END OF THE FIRST ACT.
SCENE-Outside of the Castle.
Enter Sir HERVEY SUTHERLAND, Worry, and
GEOFFRY. Sir Hervey. 'Sdeath! how mortifying! how perplexing !-and yet, without the money, inevitable ruin follows. Are you sure that was Mr. Alltrade's message ?
Worry. Yes, Sir; he cannot raise the five thousand pounds unless Miss Juliana joins in the bond.
Sir Hervey. Well, be it fo.-Enter the castle instantly, and tell her 'tis by my command; the first and last request her father 'ever will make to her--begone-[Worry exit]. And now, old man, obey my orders-let there be masks and dancing-I cannot encounter solitude--that leads to thought, and thought engenders madness; and I must plunge 'midst any species of society to save me from myself: therefore, let the doors of Sutherland-house once more be opened, and let revelry and good cheer welcome my return.
Geoffry. I shall obey, Sir.
Sir Hervey. Give general invitation to my friends.
Geoffry. Your friends !-Oh, I'm glad of that, Sirchen I hope I know one who will be of the party.
Sir Hervey. Indeed! who, Geoffry ?
Geoffry. With submission, Miss Juliana, Sirdon't be angry—but if the title of friend admits any one into your house, in my mind none ought to be more welcome than your own daughter.
Sir Hervey. How !-have a care, Sir.
Geoffry. Nay, you are deceived, cruelly deceived ; she has no hope, no wish beyond you : only this very morning, with tears in her eyes, she exclaimed, “ The day that reconciles me to my “ father will be the proudest and the happiest of “ my life !”—Thele were her words and now, to see her imprisoned !-(pointing to the castle.)
Sir Hervey (much agitated). Did ihe-did she say this, Geoffry ?
Geoffry. She did, Sir--and at the same time she put on such a sweet fascinating look-exactly such a one as her late mother
Sir Hervey. Who, Sir ?
Geoffry. Such a one as poor Lady Sutherland, Sir,
Sir Hervey. Distraction !-you've raised the latent fury here; and I would fooner press a viper to my breast than the image of a woman, who had so wronged me.--I'll hear no more--besides, this is all arcifice-I've been inforined how well she loves her father; and for the imprisonment you talk of, I fanction and approve it.-Better be even cloistered thus, than only come into the world to vindicate and share a false, false mother's criines.
Geoffry. What! can Mrs. Dazzle be base enough
Sir Hervey. Peace, old man-on pain of your dismissal utter not a word against that belt of women and of friends.--Attend me home, and