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where he sav'd yours !---Come; come---Men are of some use in the creation, and widows can't marry too often---for if matrimony be a happy state, you ought to prove, to us spinsters, that you can't have enough of it!
[Exeunt. SCENE--- An Apartment in Mrs. Seymour's
Enter Lady Danyers. Lady. Oh, Sir Charles !---when I left this house for Scotland, what pleasures did I not anticipate ? ---And now to return and find the doors shut against me !---however the servants have kindly admitted me, and here I will remain till my mother comes home; then if Mr. Ap-Hazard has'nt entirely supplanted me---but he has !--know her heart is so full of love for him, there is’nt room left for her unhappy Juliana !
Enter Ap-HAZARD, hastily. Ap-Hazard (fastening the stage door) So---I've outrun him again---I've beat this great'naval character a second time-..-he was the last man I wish'd to fee---of course the first I met---full butt, face to face---and if he is'nt drown’d or press’d, I must leave London directly---never had man such infernal luck---( draws a chair and sits ir it )--- Yes; yes: you're in the old way, master Ap-Hazard.
Lady. Ap-Hazard !---this is the very gentleman.
Ap-Hazard. I can't pay him, and I dar’nt fight a duel !--- Sees Lady Danvers ) --- by St. David, a
Divinity !---Oh! here's trumps at last! (rises)--Madam! (bowing.)
Lady. Sir! (curt seing )---He seems good temper'd, and if I apply to him, perhaps he may befriend me.---Sir, I am the unfortunate daughter of Mrs. Seymour, and as you are now so high in her favour
Ap-Hazard. Lady Danvers !---more hot-water by heavens !---My dear girl, I woud'nt have Mrs. Seymour suppose us tête-a-tête together---No ---not to be friends with the freshwater Captain--not to have Chaucer's head whole again---not--
Lody. Nay, Sir, I only ask to live and die under my mother's roof; and if I were in your situation---and once I was so happy, Sir--- I would not refuse to assist you---come, come---I know you have a humane heart, and I fee---I see you will make interest for me ! (Laying bold of him.)
Ap-Hazard. Fortune's at work again !---She's a syren !---I'm now on a trap-door, and in ten feconds I shall shoot down amidst ten thousand furies--- pity a poor traveller and let me go--consider, if I get you into favour with Mrs. Sey. mour, I shall kick myself out of it---so I won't--I won't interfere for you.
Lady. (Still laying bold of him) You must---you shall :---I am parted from my husband, and if my mother does'nt receive me, who will ?---think how critical, how delicate, how terrible is my situation !---Oh! you shall not leave me---look, on my knees I entreat you !---(kneeling to him.)
Ap-Hazard, Damme there's no standing kneeling. (Kneels by ber) O you angel !----if at this moment I don't love you far, far beyond your motber
Enter Mrs. SEYMOUR.
Ap-Hazard. Holloe !--- What's to pay ?
Mrs. Seymour. Lady Danvers! Ap-Hazard !--. first inform me, madam, what brought you here?
Lady. Ask your feeļings, madam.
Ap-Hazard. Alķ Fortune, madam.---Indeed its not my fault, for she knelt to me, and then when I look'd in her face, and saw it was fo handfome---that is, so like her mother's---you comprehend
Mrs. Seymour. I do, fir---she has art enough to corrupt the most artless.---Lady Danvers, an asyļum is found for you---my friend Miss Union's carriage is waiting to conduct you to her house, where you will meet with that protection you chose to forsake in mine.
Lady. To Miss Union !--- trust me with my eneny !---place me in the same house with Mr. Orville !---Oh, my mother!
Ap-Hazard. I'm out of one scrape at laft !---fo while the mother's lecturing the daughter, I'll read what accidents have befallen other unlucky dogs! --(Takes a news-peper out of his pocket -- goes to the back part of the flage---takes a chair, and fits with his back turn', to the audience.)
Mrs. Seymour. I am determined ---the servant will shew you to the carriage---who waits there? (Enter Tom Seymour. )---What do you want, fir ?
Tom. I'll tell you when I've breath---that Welch smuggler has so winded me with chasing him---I won his money fairly, and if he don't pay and apologize, I'll burn, sink, and destro him
whenever I come up with him---Juliana !---my fifter!--
Lady. Brother, intercede for me.--I only alk for shelter under my mother's roof, and the refuses me!
Tom. I know the reason---she is going to be married.
Mrs. Seymour. No matter, fir--- I will be obey'd.
Tom. Then look ye, Juliana ; you shall turn failor and live with me --we'll steer through life together, and you shall share my honours and my profits ! (Mrs. Seymour smiles. )---Ay; my profits, madam!---I'd have you know, next week I am going a Voyage of Discoveries---all along the coaft, from Whitehall to Windsor.
Mrs. Seymour. Perhaps I don't mean to marry at all, fir---if I do, I hope I shall make a better choice than your sister has done---not unite myfelf to a ruin'd gambler, like Sir Charles Danvers! AO, the man I shall select, will boast a pure uncontaminated mind, a faithful and an innocent heart, and one who never saw a gaming-table in his life.
Tom. Mess! I'd be glad to see such a fellow ! but I luppose its like a falter sailor than the Sprightly Kitty---a thing not to be found.
Ap-Hazard. (Still in the chair, with his back towards audience ) ---Trumps !---'Trumps!
Tom. What's this the uncontaminated gentle.
Mrs. Seymour. It is, sir,
Ap-Hazard (not regarding them) ---Oh! Game! Game !
Tom. Why, wind and tide seem both in his favour !---hollow ! father-in-law !
(Tom smacks him on the back--- Ap-Hazard jumps up, and they meet face to face.)
Ap-Hazard. What's to pay ?
Ton. What, is it you ?- is this the innocent faithful creature, that never saw a gaming-table?---ha! ha! He is really the most unlucky lubba living--do you know, mother, last night at hazard, he took twelve back hands running, and threw crabs to every one of them! and toffing up for guineas, he called tails, and it came heads twenty times following---damme, never call tails, papa--never!
Mrs. Seymour. This is very extraordinary---Mr. Ap-Hazard, I had the highest opinion of your honour; and when I gave you my picture
Tom. Gave him your picture !
Ap-Hazard. To be sure she did---look at it my undone son-in-law (putting his hand in his waistcoat pocket) no; its not there---hang me, if ever I put my hand in the right pocket in my life---its here.
Tom. No, its here! (taking the miniatur e out of bis pocket and holding it up) look at it, my undone father-in-law--- I won it of him last night at La Fleece'ein's, and never thought of looking at it before ; but now I see the family likeness---there, take it, mother, and let it remind you, that parents ought’nt to turn their children adrift, for chusing a bad pilot, till they're sure they could have found a better for them, themelves.
Mrs. Seymour. I fee, and am asham'd of my credulity---Mr. Ap-Hazard, I desire we may never meet again---come Juliana---I'll go with you my, self to Miss Urion's, where if you conduct yourself with propriety for a few weclis, I will recal you to