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SCENE.SIR BAMBER BLACKLETTER's
Library. SșR CHARLE3 DANVERS discovered writing at a
Table. Sir Charles. So there's a match for the matchmaker however--Trick for trick, Miss Union !let me fee-freads) “ Matrimony. A lady, who « has a heart to dispose of, would be happy to « vnite to a man of sense, of honour-she is ine different about fortune, as she has two thou“ fand a year in a brass manufactory-apply to « Miss U No, 402, Grosvenor-street. « N.B. She would prefer an officer in the army " or navy."-Ay! ay! that's touching Miss Union on her fore subject, and if this advertisement don't torment her, I'll try something elseI'll teach her to busy herself with other people's affairs.
Enter SAMUEL with the Bust of CHAUCER-he puts
it on the Table. Sir Charles. There's the bust of Chaucer, I suppose-the celebrated treasure, that is to turn me out of this house and fix the young Welchman in my place—Samuel, who gave you this curiosity ?
Samuel. Mr. Ap-Hazard, Sir-he is now below with Miss Union, waiting to be introduced to master-icod !-he comes at a bitter bad time, for Sir Bamber is so bad with the gout.
Sir Charles. The gout, has he ?-very well ! -leave me I too am waiting to see Sir Bamber,
for I won't lofe my rights without struggling hard for them, I'm determined-(Samuel exit )-in the mean time, I'll copy this matrimonial advertisement for Miss Union. (Sits at table, writing).
Enter AP-HAZARD and Miss Union. Ap-Hazard. I tell you I've relaps’d—the diforder has returned, and in London as well as Wales, Fortune will whirl me into scrapes-Oh! that great naval character !-to decoy me to the club-wir my money-my trinkets-get my note for fifty pounds, and then challenge me!
Miss Union. Challenge you !-Why? Ap-Hazard. Because when I found that debts of honour were now a days no more thought of than other debts ; I snap'd my fingers in his face; called him a fresh-water pirate, and said I'd pay him in opera-glasses and umbrellas !-on this, he challengd me-then I run-for there's my luck again !- 1 dar’nt fight a duel-no-I dar'nt-unless it could be manag'd in an amicable way; by calling in the constables, or firing at fifty paces -at fifty paces, s'blood! I could exchange fifty shots.
Miss Union. Well !—but how did this end ?-did the Captain overtake you?
Ap-Hazard. No-I got the start and kept it, and now my only chance is never seeing him or the Sprightly Kitty again !-if he catches me, I'm a drown'd man.---Oh! I've got into my old train of ill-luck,---I shall trip every step I take, and you and Orville will tumble along with me !--(Sees Sir Charles Danvers at the table, and goes up to bim.) What fine fellow's this ?--a servant I suppole; for in this town they dress so smartly---well! I don't blame them---when masters dress like pick
pockets, servants may dress like gentlemen! Holloa !---you fir.
Miss Union. I see there's no keeping him out of a scrape !---come. here---that's your competitor, Sir Charles Danvers---he is waiting to contest the point with you, and if you don't get in favour with Sir Bamber he'll still be his heir and I shall lose my revenge !---hush !---here is the old commentator---now remember, on this interview depends your inheriting five thousand a year.
Enter Sir BAMBER BLACKLETTER and SAMUEL:
Sir Bamber (to Samuel). Blockhead !---to push against me when I have the gout so bad in this hand, that I can't even write my notes on Chaucer ---go, and when the bookseller comes, call me. (Samuel exit.)---ha !---my intended wife ! my sweet Miss Union !---well !---where is he?--where's my godfon !---where's my new heir ?--
Miss Union, Here, fir ---here is Mr. ApHazard-here is the owner of the celebrated buft! Now put on your best manners---nothing like a first impression---(
aside to Ap-Hazard). Ap-Hazard. I know it: and there I'm always lucky---( aside to Miss.)---Oh, Sir Bamber! 'if you knew the pleasure I feel, in giving you this hearty shake of the hand---(snakes his gouty band very bard).
Sir Bamber. And if you knew the pain I feel--whough!
Ap-Hızard. What's to pay ?
Miss Unicn. He is Fortune's Fool indeed--Maké amends by praising his library. (afide to Ap-Hazard). Ap-Hazard. I will---what a superb library, Sir
Bamber?.---what a choice collection of ancient and modern publications ?--
Sir Bamber. Modern !---Şir, there's no such trash here---I hav'nt a book publish'd within the present century, except John Gilpin, in four volumes.
Ap-Hazard. John Gilpin in four volumes--pooh! he would'nt fill the column of a newspaper.
Sir Bamber. No---but I make him fill four octavo's--why it is'nt the original author now a days---he's never thought of---'tis the notes, alterations, illustrations, emendations--
Ap-Hazard. And botheration !--- I beg pardon, I mean commentations.
Sir Bamber. Yes, Sir, and commentations --look at that folio now---it's Gilderoy---that bonny boy, Gilderoy !---the poem originally consists of about eighteen stanzas: but my notes swell it to eighteen hundred lines !---and I hav'nt done yet--I'll have a new edition with additions and revisions, and I'll amplify the bonny boy into two thousand.
Miss Union. Ay: and perhaps make two thousand by it Mr. Ap-Hazard---Chaucer most likely did'nt get fifty pounds by his Poems, but Sir Bamber, with my manuscript, and a print from your buft, will make a fortune by his new edition--then his dress -is'nt it fo classical.---This coat was once worn by the immortal Dryden.
Sir Bamber. The shoes were Rochester's, the waistcoat Wycherly's, and the wig, my old friend Hudibras's---They say I'm like Hudibras---Is’n’t curious ?
Ap-Hazard. Curious !---since I came to town, Sir Bamber, you are by far the greatest curiosity I've seen---( Sir Charles Danvers advances ).---What do you want, fir.
Sir Bamber. Ay: what do you want, fir-hav’nt I told you that your marriage has undone you?--that you are a dead letter, fir---this is my heir now.
Sir Charles. I hope not, fir, when you consider that in my ruin an innocent lady is involved, I think you will renew your protection, and be as you
have ever been---a friend---a father to me. Miss Union. What right had you to marry that lady, when you knew she was betroth'd to my nephew, fir
Sir Charles. No reflections on her, Madam--cenfüre me as you please, but Lady Danvers has behaved fo generously, that if I've not a fortune to reward her virtue, I'll prove I have the spirit to defend it !---Well, fir--what is your determination?
Ap-Hazard (to Sir Charles). Alk old Geoffery Chaucer. (Pointing to the Buft).---Ask him if the godson won't cut out the nephew ?
Sir Charles. 'Tis too plain : I see I am deferted, and Lady Danvers and myself must part !Mrs. Seymour no doubt will receive her daughter home again, and from this hour I'll trouble you no more. Farewell, fir! an unhappy marriage has been my ruin---may yours be more fortunate!
Sir B amber. What do you say, Charles ? ----stay--
Sir Charles. I forgot---if Colonel Orville should arrest me for the large debt I owe him, may I ask your assistance in confinement ?---I never had any thing but what resulted from your bounty, and it will not be robbing a new heir to support an old friend in a prison ! ---Now to Mrs. Seymour, and if she will but foften the afflictions of her daughter, I'll bear my own with patience !--
[Exit. Sir Bamber. What, is be gone !---I've a great