Mifs Union. Fie! don't be fo impatient, Sir Bamber.- -(Servant puts it on a table, and exit.) gently-before we open it, let me remind you of the terms the only terms, on which you are to become master of this immortal manufcript-first you are to fign an agreement

Sir Bamber I know it :-I am to marry you tomorrow, and settle on you half my eftate-now do let me have a peep-I wonder how fhe's drefs'd -in black leather and gold facings!or in sheets, perhaps

Mifs Union. Secondly, you are to bind yourself not to pay Sir Charles's debts-thirdly, not to give your godfor-(Sir B. tries to open the trunk.). -nay you would'nt look at the manufcript before the fettlement's fign'd-confider the lawyer is in the next room

Sir Bamber. Oh! if you wait for lawyers it's all over with me-I fhall die-expire in all the agonies of an expecting lover-do-pray let me

Mifs Union. Well! to fave your life—and I've no reason for diftrufting you-here-(opening trunk and taking out M.S. in a black binding)-here is the Chaucerian Manufcript, found at Union Caftle, in Cumberland.

Sir Bamber. Never mind where it was foundI've got it-Oh! how the touch thrills me ?-now for the title page.-(reads)—"Trickarinda-A "Poem, full of witty and conceited mirth, written by Geoffery Chaucer."-That's it-that's the true old ftyle-" witty and conceited mirth!"

Enter SAMUEL.

Samuel. Lady Danvers and Mrs. Seymour are coming up stairs.

Mifs Union. Coming up ftairs!-here's effrontery-they want to break of the marriage-to perfuade him to pay Sir Charles's debts-Sir Bamber, as you're bufy, fhall I give them your anfwer.

Sir Bamber. Do-fay what you like-now for the contents.

Mifs Union. And now for my triumph-though I could'nt bring about a match for Mrs. Seymour, fhe fhall fee I can make one for myfelf-fhew me to them, fir. [Exit with Samuel. Sir Bamber. (Sitting at the Table). Now for it (reads)—" On yon green bank where Trickarinda fleeps."-There's a fubject for a painterI'll have fuch a picture gallery-fuch an exhibition-I'll begin advertifing and puffing this very night-(fits reading).

Enter AP-HAZARD.

Ap-Hazard. Don't tell me-I will fpeak to him -how my luck is turn'd!-coming here I faw a woman ftanding in the pillory-a female faro banker, who had cheated me out of thirty guineas-there was luck.-Then I call'd in at Weftminster to hear a great debate-that was over before I came there was luck!--So Bam. I fought at laft you hear. (Sits by him).

!"

Sir Bamber (not regarding him). "The wind laughs round her, and the water weeps The water weeps-there's an original thought!What modern author would have hit on fuch a fympathetic-fuch-what brought you here, fir?

Ap-Hazard. The long odds.-I've taken two hundred pounds to twenty but I break off your match with Mifs Union-now as I know the manufcript

F 3

nufcript is your object, I'll fhew you how to get it,
without having a wife for the appendix !-hark'ye
-to fave your head-rifk your neck-fteal it.
Sir Bamber. Steal it!

Ap-Hazard. Ay: it's all in the way of your profeffion-now a-days all authors are thieves, and if you're detected 'twill be only call'd a plagiarifm you know-fo put it in your pocket-go with me to Sir Charles-pay all his debts, and buy me a lottery ticket-only buy me a lottery ticket, and it's the thirty thoufand to a certainty.

Sir Bamber. Why what is all this!-leave the room, fir-begone directly, or I'll order the fervants to throw you out of window.

Ap-Hazard. Blefs you!-I'm in such a train of luck that if you were to chuck me from the top of Westminster Abbey I fhould only light on the Treafury and walk off with my pockets full.-But fince you perfift in marrying Mifs Union, I'll fhew you another manufcript-look here-here's the letter that brought her to my lodgings.

Sir Bamber. Letter of Mifs Union's!

Ap-Hazard. Ay,-read Bam-read that affig

nation.

Sir Bamber. Affignation!-Oh dear!-fhe convinc'd me that fhe went to your lodgings in fearch of Lady Danvers.-(reads letter)-" Mifs Union requests the company of Mr. Ap-Hazard"-I'm eafy-I'm fatisfied-fhe's innocent, and you'll be hang'd for forgery, firrah.

Ap-Hazard. Forgery!

Sir Bamber. It's not her writing-it's more like my grandmother's hand than Mifs Union's-I'll fend for a peace officer-I'll-no-I won'tI'll go on with the Poem.-(Returns to Table and reads.)

Ap-Hazard. Fortune's at work again-I shall lofe the long odds after all-now my dear godfather, pray think of Sir Charles-pray think of his poor wife-and, above all, pray think of the balcony

Sir Bamber (reading)—

"And lo! a monk all hallow'd from the cloyster,

66

Grey as the morn, and white as any oyfter."

There again! white as any oyster-what a melting thought I'm fo transported-(bere a leaf falls out of manufcript.)

Ap-Hazard. (picking it up) Give me leave, Sir Bamber-I'll do any thing if you'll only take pity on your nephew, and (looks at the leaf-then at the letter, and compares them together) it is !—no !—yes! -ha! ha ha! (laughing loudly.)

Sir Bamber. Why, what's the matter?-what's the fool laughing at?

Ap-Hazard. You were right-the letter is a forgery, and the beft of the joke is-ha! ha!-I've found out who forg'd it.

Sir Bamber. Who?

Ap-Hazard. Chaucer!-Geoffery Chaucer!if he pen'd that Poem, he pen'd this letter, for, damme, but they're both written by one and the fame perfon!-look-every fyllable-every letter is in the fame hand.

Sir Bamber. How? in the fame hand! (compares) So they are the P.'s. Q.'s. O.'s.-they're all the fame-why, what does this mean?

Ap-Hazard. Mean! that you're impos'd on either by Chaucer or Mifs Union; and I think its more likely, that a live woman fhould forge Trickarinda,

Trickarinda, than that a dead man fhould fend me a love-letter!

Sir Bamber. I fee it all-I'm bamboozl'd——— Trickarinda's a trick.

Ap-Hazard. And Mifs Union is

Sir Bamber. An impoftor-a juggler-worse than the bottle-conjuror-fhe's loft my eftate.

Ap-Hazard. And I've won the long odds-Oh luck! luck! luck's every thing.

Enter Mifs UNION, Mrs. SEYMOUR, and Lady DANVERS.

Mifs Union. Well, ladies! if you infist on seeing Sir Bamber, I can't prevent it-So you really believe that we're not going to be married.

Mrs. Seymour. Why, after what has paft, madam

Mifs Union. Very well-then be satisfied-with your own eyes, behold him fign an agreement that gives me his hand, and ruins Sir Charles Danvers for ever-here, my life (to Sir B.) here is the fet¬ tlement.

Sir Bamber. Indeed!

Mifs Union. Yes; my chuck!-it only wants your hand to finish it-pray obferve, ladies.

Sir Bamber. Ay, pray obferve ladies-fee how my chuck's hand will finish it!-thus I put an end to it, (tearing fettlement) thus I deftroy one most nefarious manufcript.

Ap-Hazard. And here goes another-here goes Trickarinda (tearing Trickarinda.)

Sir Bamber. You're found out, madam-you and old Chaucer write the fame hand, do you? (Mifs Union holds down her bead) Ay; ay; you overfhot the mark there-fo now "you may go fleep;