« PreviousContinue »
Tan. Why, Obadiah, are you too in limbo? What the devil brings you here!---(looks at bis dress ) ---Ah! ah ! didn't I say, that waistcoat would be the ruin of you?
Project. Mr. Nabob, I leave you to the misery you deserve, never mind though, while you stay in the college here, you neednt's pay your debts, and nothing is so comfortable as to have a good warm house over your head, so good bye, chum,
Tan. What have you brought his discharge, Obadiah, and
Ald. Ar. No, but I've brought yours, here it is, my boy; I heard you were pounded, and I came as eagerly to get you out, as if you'd been part
my own live stock; come along though, I want you to go directly and find my son Jack; he's either at his own chambers or Bubble's club; you must find him and tell him I want Emmeline's marriage settlement drawn directly.
Tan. Emmeline's' marriage-settlement ! with whom, fir ?
Ald. Ar. Hark ye, come here--(takes TANJORE aside )---Lady Project has at last consented to an assignation ; her passion for the pastoral virtues of her sweet shepherd, as she calls me, has induced her to meet me tête a tête in her dressingroom ; now, in an hour's time-Oh! I know my person and the Nova Scotia mutton would make an impression at last! therefore, at her interceffion (turning 10 P.) I've determin'd that Emmeline shall marry her old suitor, Sir Frederick; he was her father's choice, and as Edward has offended me, he shall be mine.
Project. Say you so ? then I've an iron in the fire yet:
Tan. What are you at, Obadiah? Lady Stingy will make as great a dupe of you as her husband has; she is a woman of design, one of those halfand-half ladies whose reputation depends on keeping open house; and entertainment, or no entertainment, makes or mars her reputation--don't you rea member her fainting in my arms ?
Ald. Ar. I do, but her grandmother was close at hand; yes, I am the idol of her heart, and she is to receive me in her dressing-room, that sacred temple that not even her husband ever entered. Good day, Mr. Project; I've already quitted Aldgate farm, and taken a snug profitable one near Inington, where you'll always be welcome to the rotten sheep and blighted cabbages--come, Nabob.
Tan. We'll talk further about this Lady Pro. ject-Chum, good bye! while you stay in the College you needn't pay your debts you know, and nothing is so comfortable as to have a good warm house over your head, particularly when the wind is high and westerly! hem! come along, Obadiah!
(Exit with Alderman. Proje&t. (rubbing bis hands.) Bravo! if Sir Frederick marries Emmeline, he takes her with the fortune in its entangled state, and consequently I shall be discharged-(Enter a Servant who gives him a letter)—from my wife !-Reads :
My dear Husband,
" I've only time to say, that if you hear of “ an affignation between me and the Alderman, ll be convinc'd it is to secure the marriage be .
“ tween Emmeline and Sir Frederick, and thus
affectionate wife, KATHARINE PROJECT."
Kind wife and kind Sir Frederick! I'll go and communicate the good news to Sir George
-Oh! this is a safe speculation! and not like the Indian one-fool! blockhead that I was, to take that broken-down prodigal, for the rich Mr. Tanjore, however, this is a different scheme-yes, yes, it depends on my wife's prudence, and Heaven be praised, not on ships, water, Nabobs, or wefterly winds!
A Flat with two
Enter from one Door Jack ARABLE and a Servant.
Fack. Curse my bad luck, or rather curse my bad management, to be at Epsom only ten minutes and lose all the Spanish; I thought to make an excellent hedge, when plague on't, I found I had betted the long odds both ways; then to borrow thirty of the man at the coffee-house and take a dash here at Bubble's, to lose that too, and then be bothered by one's clerk about law business. Well, fir, what
Serv. The special Pleader has sent you thesë declarations, sir.
Jack Ar. Why, is it term time?
Jack Ar. And I on a race ground the whole time! come, that's fair, very fair. (fits.) I don't
think my education so finished as I thought, for if it was I never could be so ignorant, as to bet the long odds both ways; I wonder who wins ? for when I complain of my losses, every body else says they have lost too; hang me! if ever I saw a man that had won in my life.
Enter TANJORE. (from the other door).
Tan. Done it at last! huzza! here's retribution, Jack, retribution !
Jack Ar. Why, what is this? Who are you, sir ?
Tan. The luckiest dog in Europe, Jack. Your father Obadiah sent me to look after you here at Bubble's, and not seeing you I put my hand in my pocket where I found five guineas my sister had lent me, “I'll have a touch," lays I, " this Faro Bank dished me formerly, now I'll try to dish them"-down went the five guineas on your namesake the kņave of clubs, Jack, the knave in my favour! I cock’t it---once more in my favour !---cock'd it again, till it had won so often, that I thought the ships were arrived, and I was a Nabob in reality. Jack. Ar. And what's all this to me? what do I
for Tan. (Putting Rouleaus, Guineas and Bank notes 0 the table.) Here they are; look, you rogue, look! how I feel for the poor devils that loit them! I always pity the unlucky ones, don't you, Jack ?
Jack. Ar. Zounds, sir, I am an unlucky one; that was my Poney and that was my Bank
Tan. Was it? then take it again and
put it on the knave; I'm serious, Jack, take it, and
by the Ganges! that's a neat Nisi Prius dress; What you prefer a scarlet coat to a black one?
Jack Ar. Ay, and cards to briefs; so give me the Spanish and let me be off.
Enter Captain ARABLE, hastil;.
Capt. Ar. Stay, and grant a brother's last request, nay, I must and will be heard; by my father's orders, are you not going to draw a settlement between Emmeline and Sir Frederick ?
Jack. Ar. Me going to draw a settlement !---No, I'm going to cock the knave ; and as to father, he can't blame me, because he once play'd himself, you know. I'll tell you how it was, fir; (t0 TANJORE.) he was sent for, as magistrate, to put down a hazard table---in he came with the constables---push'd down the groom porter---seiz'd the caster-.-laid hold of the dice-box, when lo! as if there was magic in the wood, he cast his eyes at the guineas on the table, and avarice so completely got the better of justice, that he hallowed out, “ seven's the mainat all in the ring, my jolly boys.'
Tan. Well! and they cheated him, gave him loaded dice.
Jack. Ar. No, that wasn't worth while ; they saw what a fat he was, so picked his pocket at once! famous, heh? adieu, brother ; farewell, benefactor! here's the Spanish once more !
[Exit looking at the Bank notë. Tan. (To Captain.) Don't stop him, Ned; let him go, I say; if he's out of the way, the settlement can't be drawn; I gave him the money on purpose.-
Capt. Ar. This is but temporary consolation, while the Alderman's absurd vanity attaches him