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Capt. Ar. Hear me, sir-I'll tell you a secretyour friend Mr. Project is a villain.
Tanjore. What that's a secret ? ---why I've known it these ten years.
Capt. Ar. Tell him I say it—but 'tis of no avail -I'll answer for it, he is so void of courage, that he can't persuade himself to fight any man living..
Tanjore. Now there you're wrong; for he is so void of character, that he can't persuade any man living to fight him—therefore have the goodness to tell him he's a villain, and retrieve his reputationmy friendship and his depends on the weathercock, and the moment that points westerly, up blows a breeze that oversets it for ever.
Re-enter Vickery, crossing the stage with his bat on.
Capt. Ar. Vickery, where are you going in such haste?
Vickery. I can hardly tell, sir--my master was in such agitation when he gave me his orders, and he particularly desired me not to inform you.
Capt. Ar. Not inform me!--speak this inftant, firrah.
(laying hold of bim.) Tanjore. Ay, speak this instant, sirrah.
(laying bold of him.) Vickery. Then the truth is, the Alderman has lock'd up Miss Emmeline, and sent me for her Guardian, to whom she is to he deliver'd and confin'd for life---there, now you know the fact, and I take my leave. .
[Exit. Capt. Ar. Send for her Guardian and confine her for life!—what's to be done? --while my father is atrach'd to this hypocrite, there is no way to extricate or save her,
Tanjore. Yes, there is one--you seem a fine fighting fellow-Tom Tanjore's another, and as her father once sav'd me from being confin’d, while I can cock a pistol, or brandish a cane, I won't see his daughter expos’d to a similar predicamentcome along Ned---we'll trip up Obadiah and carry her off.
Capt. Ar. What! are you the friend of Emmeline?
Tanjore. Yes, and your's because you are hers--come let's have at them---what! do
Thirk ? Cept. Ar. I dare not go.
Tanjore. Dare not !--- now this is always the way with your fighting gentlemen---but perhaps it's conftitutional, and the poor fellow's conscience is a little tender---ay, ay, some of us Nabobs have very weak nerves.
Capt. Ar. You niifconceive---her Uncle is my father---he has forbid me his presence, and would you have me lift my arm against a parent.
Tanjore. No Ned: but as he is no father of mine, and Emmeline is in danger, there can be no harm in my trying trick, stratagem, or force, to protect her; therefore I'll start alone; and may I go to India or to prison---and one will of course follow the other---if I don't snatch her from Obadiah, and restore her to my dear Ned!
Capt. Ar. The attempt is hopeless; but be it as it may---I request on knowing how I can return your kindness
Tanjore. Why, there are two ways---the first is that you patch up your quarrel with Project, in order that you may celebrate your nuptials at his house, and the next is, that as Emmeline will like you the better for resembling me, you marry her in the fellow coat to that I now wear--its a pretty
hymeneal colour isn't it?---fo huzza !---now for the onset !
SCENE--- An apartment in the Alderman's house
hung with pictures, a portrait of the AlderMAN in his gown and full drejed wig---leaning on a Plough--- A round table---Two chairs and wine on the Table.
The ALDERMAN discovered afleep.
Ald. Ar. So there you are my dear niece till your guardian comes for you---locks the door and takes out the key.---I'll place the key by me and---(puts the key on the round table and fits down)---plague take the girl!---to wake me out of my afternoon's nap, and the sweetest agricultural dreanıs---however, she is now as safe as the Rats in my granary, and Edward shall marry Cecilia directly---that being settled, I'll renew my pastoral and delicious dreams
(dozes in his chair.)
Enter TANJORE hastily.
Tanjore. Where is she?---I don't see her--- Mhe's in this room perhaps---( trying to open the stage door) the door lock'd !---ha Obadiah 1..-how Obadiah !---(waking bim)---what still in the same dress ?---dainme, that waistcoat will be the ruin of you.
Ald. Ar. What the devil do you want, sir?
Tanjore. I want Emmeline, Obadiah---cousin Billy has sent me to conduct her to his house where is she ? ---dispatch, and tell your servant to get a coach, for it rains as hard as it can pour.
(rain heard bere.)
Ald. Ar. So it does ! ---oh!---my cabbages will grow as tall and thick as a wildernessEmmeline, Mr. Tanjore, I shall deliver her to no person but her guardian hiinself.
Tanjore. Won't you ?---then I'll give you a toast.--come fill--- nay, do exactly as if you were at home Obadiah---here's a success to the next harvest!"
Ald. Ar. I rise to drink that---- success to the next harvest.”---Ah Mr. Tanjore---if all farmers were so easily satisfied as I am---but they're always grumbling---railing at the weather---(rain stopt )--zounds, the rain stopt!---the cabbages will be burnt to a cinder.
Tanjore. (afde, taking up the key.) What's here ? no doubt the key of the prison house---sdeath!--why did I wake him ?---however, if I get him off his favourite topic, he'll soon go to sleep again.-come Obadiah!---one more bumper, Obadiah !.-and now I'll tell you a long story.
Ald. Ar. Will you? ---au---au (yauning.)
Tanjore. A very long story Obadiah in the East or West Indies, or somewhere thereabouts, there was a fine young fellow drinking wine with a grunting old Alderman-Alderman I beg pardon-I mean Bramin-well! after a glass or two the Bramin yawn'd—then doz’d-then clos’d his eyes, and at last, fell fast asleep, (Alderman Neeps, and Tanjore rises,) then this fine young fellow took a key off the table, and stealing to the prison door, unlock'd it, and led forth one of the loveliest
(as be is opening the door, Vickery enters hastily.) Tanjore. What's the matter, sir?
Vickery. Mr. Project is below, fir. (Vickery takes np the bottle and glasses and proceeds to wake the Alderman.)
Tanjore. Then let hini stay there--zounds! what are you at?
Vickery. Going to wake my master, fir—there is a physician in Mr. Project's carriage, to whom Miss Emmeline is to be deliver’d, and as he is in a hurry--
Tanjore. Don't touch him--- I'll wake him, or the devil, or his own conscience will wake him begone firrah, or---(exit Vickery with bottle and glasses)---pheugh !---what's to be done now ?---if I can't get this guardian out of the house without seeing the Alderman, murder will be the confequence, for sooner than give her up, curse me if i don't shoot Billy, choak Obadiah, and poison the doctor !---pheugh !--- (walking about in agitation).
ProjeEt. (without) He's in this room is he?... very well---I shall see him
Tanjore. See him !---no you shan't---if I can prevent their meeting at this moment, I may secure Emmeline's escape, and---how can I hide the old farmer? ---I'll stand before him, and spread my coat-a: no---curse these short skirts---what can I devise ?---Project at the door! the poor girl's fate depending on the event---I have it.---(Turns up the round table, which completely covers the Alderman.) --There--.now he's as snug as if he was at AldgateFarm.
Enter PROJECT with his bat on.
Projet. What cousin !---how came you here?--well !---how's the wind ? Tanjore. Southerly, Billy---by the heat southerly-don't wear your hat in the room though---(pulls it off )---it's like a citizen left off business---pheugh!--