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SCENE.- An Apartment in Mr. Project's House.
Enter Project, and Cecilia. Cecilia. I tell you, it's all settled — I've seen young Arable: he propos’d marriage, and I gave him as warm a reception as you could wish. But, Lady Katharine Project, fir; she tires me with her insinuations—she says, I come here to seduce her husband's affections, when you know, Mr. Project, he's the last man on the earth I should fix on for a gallant.
Project. Mr. Project's very much oblig'd to you: but the truth is this, Cecilia—she knows I see her partiality for fir Frederick : this makes her all obe. dience—but if she could once recriminate; only prove I have my gallantries (and I have had them beyond a doubt) why then snap goes the rod I hold over her, and all the money I spent in patching up her reputation
Cecilia. Money, in patching up reputation ! how do you mean, coz ?
Projeět. Moan! that when certain people lose their character, they spend half their fortune in attempting to retrieve it--keep open house, give public entertainments---suppers, balls, concerts, galas—then every body comes; for if Belzebub himself gave a dinner, there are people who would go to it!-every body comes, I say—eat, drink, dance, and retire; and while the host and hostess fancy they are founding their praises, egad! they're only cutting up their reputation, and laughing at them more and more for their folly.
Cecilia. Are they? then I wish lady Project would recriminate, for I'm very fond of balls, concerts, and galas ; and if you're expos’d you must give them to patch up your own reputation, you know fo adieu ! oh, I forgot, though-lend me the key of the Pagoda, will you ?
Projeet. The Pagoda ! Cecilia. Ay, there's an eclipse to night, and it will be a charming place to see it from-come give it me-foolish man!-I dare say, now, you're thinking this may lead to some plot about Emmeline ; . but you forget there are other doors and other keys, Mr. Cerberus, and as I've given the Bridegroom such a warm reception
Proje£t. Well-your kindness to young Arable deserves a reward, and as I've no reason to suppose you mean to make a bad use of the key, take it heh !-here's the gentleman himself! and I declare looking as melancholy as if the honey moon was over-nay-don't leave us.
Cecilia. If I don't, I shall be too late for the eclipse--fo good evening—spouse will describe our interview to you--he'll tell you what pretty things I said of him and his father : upon my word they're a charming pair, and though a namesake of mine had long since won my affections; yet, when I saw young Arable-Oh! who can relift a man of his education,
Enter JACK ARABLE. Proje£t. Joy! I give you joy, sir,-the has consented !-you'll be brother-in-law to a Nabob, and I, bringing about the match, shall touch a thousand pounds from the Alderman. Come, sit down, my boy, and tell me all about it-(they fit.) --who had the first word ? you or Cecilia ?
Jack Ar. I had the first : she the last.
Proje&t. Ah! that's one of the sex's privileges; but how did she conclude ? with recommending you to go to a parson, and finish the marriage ?
Jack Ar. No: she concluded with recommending me to go to school again and finish my education !~Mr. Project, you'll hardly believe it, but she call'd me Master Jacky: laugh'd at my learning; ridicul'd my manners; and when I reminded her that I had been made a scholar, and a gentleman, she said I might as well say one of my father's cows had been made to translate Greek, or dance the minuet de la Cour,
Projet. Why this is a warm reception indeed ! well: what was your answer ?
Jack Ar. Says I, ma'am !--ma'am! I'm a Ba. chelor of Arts, and a Student at Law; I can solve a Problem, draw a Demurrer, and read a Latin Ovid.
Projet. A Latin Ovid !-what not a translation ?
Jack Ar. No: a real Latin Ovid, fays I, ma'am! that was fair, was’nt it? had her there famous, heh? .
Project. Was ever time and money so wasted on a blockhvad's education ? (alide)--you mould have told her you were shortly to be callid to the bar that you were now at a Special Pleader's : if I mis. take not, she is a great admirer of the profesiion.
Jack Ar. No, no : she's not so bad as that either; for when by way of a joke, I said that Westminster Hall would be a knowing place to give a masque rade in-“ a masquerade !” says the--" there's one there every day in Term time !--famous, heh? had me there : but there's father just awoke from his after dinner nap-'gad! he shall have his Ihares
Enter ALDERMAN ARABLE. Jack Ar. Father, I'm come from my intended wife: she speaks so highly of you.
Aid. Ar. Does she? that makes out my dreamı then: I dreamt she gave you her hand, because she said your father understood farming better than any man in England. Oh! the dear creature !. -- how was it?
Jack Ar. She said, that while you were planting ihrubberies, building outhouses, and painting the piy-tye, your bailiff was cheating you of the imall crops your neglected fields produced; that in a month you would spend more money in fattening a single wether, than would supply the Court of Aldermen with turtle and venison for a year ; that your garden is as expensive as your farm, for that every Monday morning, when your coach is cram'd with hampers of garden stuff, there isn't a turnip top within them but costs more than all the pine apples in Covent Garden market---that was fair, wasn't it ? ---very fair.
Ald. Ar. I'll hear no more---it's a libel, and if the wasn't a fister to a Naboba wether coit me more than venison; and turnip tops more than pine apples! I'll be reveng’d.
Jack Ar. So will l--but how father ?
Ald. Ar. How ! by making her your wife, whether she will or no---I'm determin'd to have a pow'r over her; and Mr. Project I will give you all my crops in and out of the ground---all my live and dead stock---ay, an additional thousand pounds only to make me father to this Jezabel, and then---leave me to manage her education.
Project. If the won’t confent, Alderman, what can I do?
Jack Ar. What! a college for that; we classics know a trick or two, and give me an opportunity, and five to four but I make her Mrs. Jack Arable before to-morrow morning. Zounds! I'll carry her off, then touch the Spanish, and away to Epsom and cricket--- (afide)---come, what say you to the two thousand pounds.
Project. That it's a nice Speculation, and as there can be no harm in getting a girl a good husband, I will give you an opportunity: hark ye, she is, sow in my garden, in the pagoda ; come with me, directly and but hold, hold, where will you carry her to?
Jack Ar. To Aldgate farm to be sure, where we've a parson waiting, and where we'll convince her, that we can make a match, or be a match for any woman in the world : come--
Ald. Ar. Ay, away with you ; and when she's my daughter, instead of being fashionable and impertinent, she shall be humble and industrious: The ihall give up the harpsicord for the spinning wheel; faro and archery for the hen-houle and the dairy; and, instead of parading e la miliinire on a high bred hunter, the shall carry eggs to market on brokenknee'd Dobbin, and be a pattern for all the farmer's wives and daughters in the land ! away my boys !
SCENE II.------ Another Apartment in Project's
Country House--- A Door in Flat.
Enter CECILIA. Cecil. So, I've, tric'd him out of the key, and now for my dear Emmeline (Opens the door in flat