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fact is, Project, I have had a curst unlucky year: the seasons have been against me: a hot winter---a frosty summer---flies, blights, and grubs, in all the corn---sheep, calves, and horses, all with the staggers -foxes eating up my chickens--cocknies shooting my geese-and as for the speculation
you mention, why, the cows eat me forty load of hay, and I only made thirty pounds of butter ;---“ Debtor for hay one hundred forty five pounds, twelve shillings and eight pence. Per contra, creditor for butter, one pound, seventeen shillings, and ten pence halfpenny farthing!”
Project. Ah! I see it don't answer so well as I expected; but about the plantation ?
Ald Ar. Oh! the cabbages.---Ay: there Iv'e been fortunate.--- I tell you what---that plantation and my Nova Scotia sheep will make up for all my losses.
JACK ARABLE. (without.) Father---Where are you father? Project. Here's your son.
I'm told since he left Oxford and went to study under a special pleader, that he's much improv'd.--- Why his education must have cost you a great sum of money, Alderman:
Ald Ar. Thousands, thousands ! But he'll repay me.---Hark'ye; he is now a Batchelor of Arts---by and by King's Counsel---hereafter member for the county---thengreat Orator---the Seals---the Cabinet! Oh! there's no doubt but Jack will make his own fortune and mine too.
Project. How do you mean ?---why don't you allow him an income?
Ald. Ar. Not a shilling.---I have given him a most glorious education and that's fortune enough now*-days.---Now he starts fair, and he's like my field of
cabbages ; so well cultivated that there's no doubt of
a fine crop
Enter JACK ARABLE. Jack Ar. O father, I've been hunting for you every where. The Novia Scotia Sheep,----pheugh.
pufing himself Ald. Ar. Well, what of the dear animals ?
Jack. Why, they have broken into the plantation and are eating up the cabbages as fast as they can--I dare say I saw them devour one third before came away
Ald. Ar. You did ! did you? --where's the bailiff? -oh! this is an old mancuvre--the farmers are in a combination against me, and whenever their cattle want food, they send them to breakfast, dine, and sup on my crops--they're not my sheep, so I'll go and pound them—in the mean time, Jack, do you give my friend, Mr. Project, a specimen of your talents.
[Erit. Jack Ar. My talents !--Lord ! they speak for themselves I'm sure-don't they Mr. --
Project. How long is it since you left college, sir? --and
pray what was your chief study there? Jack Ar. Study, heh?--come--that's fair, very fair. Why, my study was to shoot without missing: leap five barr'd gates full speed--get drunk-make love to my laundress--break lamps with my mathematical instruments, and knock down the proctors with the classics-famous, heh ?-oh! I finished my education in a most capital style.
Project. So I perceive, sir--but how do you like the Te nple, sir ?--how does Special Pleading agree with you?
Jack Ar. Special Pleading !---I'm above that --mum:---don't tell father, and I'll let you into a
secret---I've been two years with a Special Pleader and never saw his fat face in all my life---fair, heh! ---very fair !---no, no: I know
Project. What do you know, fir ?
Jack Ar. That Westminster Hall won't do for Jack Arable---the market's over-stocked---there's such a croud of black cattle, and so few buyers, that one half must be returned on the owner's hand, at prime coft.---O!-besides, if one did get a brief, the King's Bench is like other courts, lo crouded, that there's no getting a place in it—and there's the caseI must come back to father---and what then ?--he won't give me the Spanish.
Proje£t. The Spanish !---now what the devil's that?
Jack Ar. Why, ready money, not credit or paper. When I ask him for a few guineas he reminds me of my education---refers me to Westminster Hall--fays I shall be call'd next term and make thousands. Thousands! plague on't !---after being three years a Barrister, attending the courts, and going the circuits; I dare say, I shan't fetch the price of my gown and wig !--.fo you fee, Mr. Project, here am I with a finishid education in the high road to a jail.
Project. No, no---your marriage with Cecilia will prevent that.
Jack Ar. Ay, I shall be glad to have her.
Jack Ar. No, but I love her fortune, and if I could marry her co-morrow, I'd touch the Spanish, and be off to London directly---to Epsom Races--the grand Cricket Match---zounds !---in making me a Special Pleader, they'd spoil one of the molt dashing dogs in Europe,
Re-enter Alderman Arable.
Ald. Ar. I've fecur'd the gormandizers, and there's an end of that business. Well, my friend, how have you found him ?-isn’t his head like my land?
Project. Exactly-fo barren that nó cultivation can improve it-(afide.) but since you agree to the match with Cecilia, the fooner he pays his addresses the better. What say you will you go and have the first interview now?
Ald. Ar. With all my heart; her brother is a Nabob, so let's go directly
Jack. Ar. Stop, stop—when we get to Mr. Project's house, you must both of you grant me a favour, you must let me see my brother Edward's friend.
Project. Who is that, fir ?
Jack. Ar. Why, the lady that's lock'd up-my cousin Emmeline --nay, don't be angry ; I only want her to pay me twenty pounds she owes me.
Ald. Ar. My niece Emmeline owe you twenty pounds !---how do you make out that ?
Jack Ar I'll tell you : two years ago I ask'd her to lend me fifty pounds, she had only thirty in her pocket, which she generously gave me---now you know she owes me the odd twenty---fair, very fair, isn't it?
Ald. Ar. Nonsense !--- she is under the care of my best friend here, who don't chuse she should be disturb’d in her seclusion : he does every thing that is right with regard to that unhappy girl.
Proje£t. I thank you for your approbation---but come; let's to Cecilia.
Ald. Ar. Ay, come by boy; odsheart! strike her with your talents at once, and if she asks about a marriage settlement, put your hand to your head;