ACT II.

SCENE.SIR BAMBER BLACKLETTER'S Library.

SIR CHARLES DANVERS difcovered writing at a Table.

Sir Charles. So there's a match for the matchmaker however-Trick for trick, Mifs Union!— let me fee-(reads) "Matrimony. A lady, who "has a heart to difpofe of, would be happy to « unite to a man of sense, of honour-fhe is in"different about fortune, as fhe has two thou"fand a year in a brafs manufactory-apply to "Mifs U, No. 402, Grofvenor-ftreet. "N.B. She would prefer an officer in the army

or navy."-Ay! ay! that's touching Mifs Union on her fore fubject, and if this advertisement don't torment her, I'll try fomething elseI'll teach her to bufy herself with other people's affairs.

Enter SAMUEL with the Buft of CHAUCER-be puts it on the Table.

Sir Charles. There's the buft of Chaucer, I fuppofe-the celebrated treasure, that is to turn me out of this house and fix the young Welchman in my place-Samuel, who gave you this curiofity?

Samuel. Mr. Ap-Hazard, Sir-he is now below with Mifs Union, waiting to be introduced to mafter-icod !—he comes at a bitter bad time, for Sir Bamber is fo bad with the gout.

Sir Charles. The gout, has he?-very well! -leave me I too am waiting to fee Sir Bamber,

for I won't lofe my rights without struggling hard for them, I'm determined-(Samuel exit)-in the mean time, I'll copy this matrimonial advertisement for Mifs Union. (Sits at table, writing).

Enter AP-HAZARD and MISS UNION.

Ap-Hazard. I tell you I've relaps'd-the diforder has returned, and in London as well as Wales, Fortune will whirl me into fcrapes-Oh! that great naval character!-to decoy me to the club-win my money-my trinkets-get my note for fifty pounds, and then challenge me!

Mifs Union. Challenge you!-Why?

Ap-Hazard. Because when I found that debts of honour were now a days no more thought of than other debts; I fnap'd my fingers in his face; called him a fresh-water pirate, and faid I'd pay him in opera-glaffes and umbrellas !-on this, he challeng'd me-then I run-for there's my luck again!-I dar'nt fight a duel-no-I dar'nt-unlefs it could be manag'd in an amicable way; by calling in the conftables, or firing at fifty paces at fifty paces, s'blood! I could exchange fifty fhots.

Mifs Union. Well!-but how did this end?— did the Captain overtake you?

Ap-Hazard. No-I got the ftart and kept it, and now my only chance is never feeing him or the Sprightly Kitty again!-if he catches me, I'm a drown'd man.---Oh! I've got into my old train of ill-luck,---I shall trip every step I take, and you and Orville will tumble along with me !--(Sees Sir Charles Danvers at the table, and goes up to bim.) What fine fellow's this?--a fervant I fuppofe; for in this town they drefs fo fmartly--well![ don't blame them---when mafters drefs like pick

pockets,

pockets, fervants may drefs like gentlemen! Holloa !---you fir.

Mifs Union. I fee there's no keeping him out of a fcrape !---come here---that's your competitor, Sir Charles Danvers---he is waiting to conteft the point with you, and if you don't get in favour with Sir Bamber he'll ftill be his heir and I fhall lofe my revenge --hufh !---here is the old commentator---now remember, on this interview depends your inheriting five thousand a year.

Enter SIR BAMBER BLACKLETTER and SAMUEL

Sir Bamber (to Samuel). Blockhead !---to push against me when I have the gout fo bad in this hand, that I can't even write my notes on Chaucer ---go, and when the bookfeller comes, call me. (Samuel exit.)---ha !---my intended wife! my fweet Mifs Union !---well!---where is he?--where's my godfon !---where's my new heir ?--

Mifs Union, Here, fir,---here is Mr. ApHazard---here is the owner of the celebrated buft!-Now put on your beft manners---nothing like a first impreffion---(afide to Ap-Hazard).

Ap-Hazard. I know it: and there I'm always lucky---(afide to Mifs.)---Oh, Sir Bamber! if you knew the pleasure I feel, in giving you this hearty fhake of the hand---(shakes his gouty hand very hard).

Sir Bamber. And if you knew the pain I feel--whough!

Ap-Hazard. What's to pay?

Mifs Union. He is Fortune's Fool indeed--Make amends by praifing his library. (afide to Ap-Hazard).

Ap-Hazerd. I will---what a fuperb library, Sir

Bamber

Bamber?---what a choice collection of ancient and modern publications ?--

Sir Bamber. Modern !---Şir, there's no fuch trafh here---I hav'nt a book publifh'd within the present century, except John Gilpin, in four volumes.

Ap-Hazard. John Gilpin in four volumes--pooh! he would'nt fill the column of a newspaper. Sir Bamber. No---but I make him fill four octavo's---why it is'nt the original author now a days---he's never thought of---'tis the notes, alterations, illuftrations, emendations--

Ap-Hazard. And botheration !---I beg pardon, I mean commentations.

Sir Bamber. Yes, Sir, and commentations,--. look at that folio now--it's Gilderoy---that bonny boy, Gilderoy !---the poem originally confifts of about eighteen ftanzas: but my notes fwell it to eighteen hundred lines !---and I hav'nt done yet--I'll have a new edition with additions and revisions, and I'll amplify the bonny boy into two thousand.

Mifs Union. Ay: and perhaps make two thoufand by it Mr. Ap-Hazard---Chaucer most likely did'nt get fifty pounds by his Poems, but Sir Bamber, with my manufcript, and a print from your buft, will make a fortune by his new edition--then his dress --is'nt it fo claffical.---This coat was once worn by the immortal Dryden.

Sir Bamber. The fhoes were Rochefter's, the waistcoat Wycherly's, and the wig, my old friend Hudibras's---They fay I'm like Hudibras---Is'n't

curious?

Ap-Hazard. Curious!---fince I came to town, Sir Bamber, you are by far the greatest curiosity I've feen---(Sir Charles Danvers advances).---What do you want, fir.

Sir Bamber. Ay: what do you want, fir-hav'nt I told you that your marriage has undone you?--that you are a dead letter, fir---this is my heir

now.

Sir Charles. I hope not, fir, when you confider that in my ruin an innocent lady is involved, I think you will renew your protection, and be as you have ever been---a friend---a father to me.

Mifs Union. What right had you to marry that lady, when you knew he was betroth'd to my nephew, fir?

Sir Charles. No reflections on her, Madam--cenfure me as you pleafe, but Lady Danvers has behaved fo generously, that if I've not a fortune to reward her virtue, I'll prove I have the fpirit to defend it!---Well, fir--what is your determination ?

Ap-Hazard (to Sir Charles). Afk old Geoffery Chaucer. (Pointing to the Buft).--Ask him if the godfon won't cut out the nephew?

Sir Charles. 'Tis too plain: I fee I am deferted, and Lady Danvers and myself must part !--Mrs. Seymour no doubt will receive her daughter home again, and from this hour I'll trouble your no more. Farewell, fir! an unhappy marriage has been my ruin---may yours be more fortunate! Sir Bamber. What do you fay, Charles ?----ftay--Sir Charles. I forgot---if Colonel Orville fhould arreft me for the large debt I owe him, may I ask your affiftance in confinement ?--I never had any thing but what refulted from your bounty, and it will not be robbing a new heir to fupport an old friend in a prifon !---Now to Mrs. Seymour, and if fhe will but foften the afflictions of her daughter, I'll bear my own with patience !--- [Exit. Sir Bamber. What, is he gone !---I've a great