Lady Sarah. You're a fad wretch-a fad wretch indeed, Sir George, to impofe on a friend, who places fuch confidence-fuch-I won't hear you-pofitively I won't hear you-only observe, if I don't win the cruel Darnley's affection, I'll drive my phaeton down a precipice in reality; I will, or with the bayonet of my fufil, pierce my too tender heart, and expire at his feet. Enter the honourable Mr. SAVAGE baftily. Savage. So, Sarah-I and Sir Paul have had fuch an adventure!-though we quarrel'd laft night, we made it up to-day; for I never think alike two hours together-Do you, fifter? you Lady Sarah. Never but when I think of brother, then I think more than I fay, I affure you. Savage. No; you fay more than you think, I affure you-but would you believe it? The old boy has feen his fon,-we trac'd him from the ftage coach he came in, to the pump-room, from the pump-room, to the billiard-room-there Sir Paul faw him playing with the marker, and when he heard the young man's name, he fainted; actually fainted in my arms. Lady Sarah. What, in a fit! poor old man! well! if you'll believe me, Sir George, I never faw a perfon in a fit in all my life. Savage. Long before he recover'd, the young man was gone-the bird was flown-for the ftanders by, all blacklegs, began laying betts on Sir Paul's recovery, and thofe who were againft him, wouldn't let water be thrown in his face. Lady Lady Sarah. Inhuman wretches!-they ought to have fous'd him to death: but pray, brother, who is this child? where does he come from? what's the story? Savage. Why-about twenty years ago, Sir Paul's lady quarrell'd with him at Tunbridge, and married a citizen-Four months after the marriage she had a fon, which the citizen brought up as his own, and Sir Paul now fwears the boy was his 'gad! it will be curious; for the child will have two fathers. Lady Sarah. Curious! not at all—but why fhould you meddle? Savage. Because it fecures me the two beft racers in the ftud-Fidget and Fizgig; and what's better, because it still secures us Sir Paul's fortune; for though he won't marry you himfelf, he intends his fon fhould; and, if I could but once more see the young man-I know he goes by his mother's name-(Looking out.) heh! it's him! there he is again!-get out of the way; don't interrupt Lady Sarah. No-I have too great a regard for Sir Paul's property to interrupt any plan for fecuring it; befides, Sir George and I have bufinefs-come-I say, brother, tell the old gentleman to be careful, and in his eagerness bid him not claim another man's child instead of his own! [Exit with Sir George. Savage. Where can Sir Paul be loitering? he faid he'd follow me-mum! [Stands afide. 1 Lady Sarah. You're a fad wretch-a fad wretch indeed, Sir George, to impofe on a friend, who places fuch confidence-fuch-I won't hear you-pofitively I won't hear you—only observe, if I don't win the cruel Darnley's affection, I'll drive my phaeton down a precipice in reality; I will, or with the bayonet of my fufil, pierce my too tender heart, and expire at his feet. Enter the honourable Mr. SAVAGE baftily. Savage. So, Sarah-I and Sir Paul have had fuch an adventure!-though we quarrel'd laft night, we made it up to-day; for I never think alike two hours together-Do you, sister? Lady Sarah. Never but when I think of you brother, then I think more than I fay, I affure you. Savage. No; you fay more than you think, I affure you-but would you believe it? The old boy has feen his fon,-we trac'd him from the ftage coach he came in, to the pump-room, from the pump-room, to the billiard-room-there Sir Paul faw him playing with the marker, and when he heard the young man's name, he fainted; actually fainted in my arms. Lady Sarah. What, in a fit! poor old man! well! if you'll believe me, Sir George, I never faw a perfon in a fit in all my life. Savage. Long before he recover'd, the young man was gone-the bird was flown-for the ftanders by, all blacklegs, began laying betts on Sir Paul's recovery, and thofe who were against him, wouldn't let water be thrown in his face. Lady Lady Sarab. Inhuman wretches!-they ought to have fous'd him to death: but pray, brother, who is this child? where does he come from? what's the ftory? Savage. Why-about twenty years ago, Sir Paul's lady quarrell'd with him at Tunbridge, and married a citizen-Four months after the marriage fhe had a fon, which the citizen brought up as his own, and Sir Paul now fwears the boy was his 'gad! it will be curious; for the child will have two fathers. Lady Sarah. Curious! not at all—but why fhould you meddle? Savage. Because it fecures me the two beft racers in the ftud-Fidget and Fizgig; and what's better, because it still secures us Sir Paul's fortune; for though he won't marry you himfelf, he intends his fon fhould; and, if I could but once more fee the young man-I know he goes by his mother's name-(Looking out.) heh! it's him! there he is again!-get out of the way; don't interrupt— Lady Sarah. No-I have too great a regard for Sir Paul's property to interrupt any plan for fecuring it; befides, Sir George and I have bufinefs-come-I fay, brother, tell the old gentleman to be careful, and in his eagerness bid him not claim another man's child inftead of his own! [Exit with Sir George. Savage. Where can Sir Paul be loitering? he faid he'd follow me-mum! [Stands afide. 1 Enter GINGHAM. Gingham. Oh! what a whirligig world is this? I that was brought up to lend money; muft now try to borrow it: but where? who'll truft a wandering linen-draper? who'll truft the notorious young P. O.? however, I've got my equivalent; I can fpeak my mind now-no longer need I fmother my thoughts, and be ready to burst: no longer have an itching on my tongue, and be ready to bite it in two-no, no, I may open now. The sweet lady fends me word my father is inexorable, but hopes fhe fhall foon see me again; heigho! I hope so too; when I think of her, my heart feels fuch queer fenfations-I have it: fhe has taken leffons of my father, and swindled me out of my affections; but then my povertyI can never indulge even a hope.-(Sees Mr. Savage.)-Ha! here's the friend of the queer old gentleman, who fainted in the billiard-room. Savage. (advancing pompously.) Sir, the honourable Henry Savage has the pleasure-the felicity-What are you——— Gingham. The honourable ? Savage. Ay: why didn't you know it? Gingham. No: nor never fhould if you hadn't told me-ha! ha! ha! ha! Savage. Ha! ha! ha! you're a droll dog! 'gad! you fhall come to my house, and pass a week with me. Gingham. Faith! a year with all my foul! I've nothing to do with myfelf; I've left off trade; haven't change for fixpence in the world, and |