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Enter Sir Paul PERPETUAL, (hastily.)
Sir Paul. So far, I'm safe, my dear girl; you don't know what your poor guardian has suffer'd in this high-no-this low-lif’d house!-theyforc'd me into a room full of buffoons,boxers, and blacklegsmade me drink a bowl of punchi, and I'd as soon drink so much poison--then winking and nodding they began whispering pretty loudly" smoke the old prig !-damme, quiz him!”
Clara. Quiz him!-what's that, Guardy?
Sir Paul. Why, with our young men of quality, quizzing is a substitute for wit, my dear; so one man challeng'd me to play on the violin, and when I rose to move my elbows, another whip'd the chair from under me; a second
hot coals into my pocket, so when I felt for my hankerchief, I burnt my fingers ; a third tried to cut off my tail, but that affasfın 1 pursued, when unluckily in running after him, they had tied a string across the stairs, and I pitch'd headforemost into a barrel of water, they had placed for the purpose.
Clara. Indeed, its quite terrible, Gaurdy.
Sir Paul. Then they lew'd me a license; brought me a fat parfon, and said, if I'd inftantly be married, they'd let me go to find my son-if not, I should be lock'd in, and have plenty of it-now here's hospitality !-but they've overshot the mark; and it I get out of their doors, I'll not only break off the match, but promise to befriend Darnley. –
Care. What! disappoint Lady Sarah, and relieve my poor distressed friend--then l'll get you out
of the house-I will, if I'm quizz’d to death for it-You see that door-if he meets Darnley, he'll at least interrupt the assignation.
Sir Paul. Secure my escape-only get me out of this den of savages, and, if I don't befriend Darnley, may I never live to see old age. Where does that door lead to?
Clara. I fancy to Lady Sarah's dressing room ; for it is full of half boots, horse great coats, military rashes, helmet caps, and amazonian jackets ! and this is your only way to escape-enter that room.
Sir Paul. Yes
Clara. Put on one of Lady Sarah Savage's great coats, tie one of her fathes round your waist-throw a fur tippet about your neck, and with a whip in your hand, and her driving hat on your head
Sir Poul. I understand the servants will take me for their mistress, and open the gates; Oh! you dear girl ! (kisses her.)—I'll about it inftantly~(opens the door in flat.) I say, Clara, the hounds below are unkennel'd; they have started me for game, and after keeping them ac bay, by fousing in a flood of water, I take to cover ; that is, I put on Lady Sarah Savage's cloathes to avoid passing for a wild beast; mum! (enters the room.)
Clara. If he does but get out of the house, the marriage is broken off and Darnley made happy.
Lady Sarah Savage (without.) I'm at home to nobody but Mr. Darnley.
Clara. (Going to the door.) We're undone, lu'n'd; itay where you are; here's Lady Carah. Sir Paulo (putting bis head out)-The devil !
Clara. Hush ! lock yourself in, and don't ftir till I tap at the door, or stop-stop-left the or somebody else should tap, don't open it till 1 give you a signal—let me see; what ihall be the watchiword? Oh," quizzing,” you won't forget “ quizzing,” Guardy.
Sir Paul. No—I shall remember it these fifty years;
fo when I hear the word " quizzing,” out I come, and-softly—here she is (frutting bimself in.)
Enter Lady SARAH, with pocket-book and tickets
in ber band.
Lady Sarah. (Speaking as she enters.) Tell my dear Signor, I shall get rid of all these benefit tickets, heh! (taking out her spying glass.) —what young creature's this?
Clara. How d’ye do again ma’am?
Lady Sarah. Again! you're vastly forward child; I never saw you before.
Clara. No ma'am! that's very strange; you faw me this morning at Mr. Darnley's, and invited me to your house.
Lady Sarah. Oh, ay: now I recollect; you must excuse me; we people of rank are so very abfent; we're extremely intimate with a person in the morning, and don't know them at night; well! I'm vastly glad to see you ; but you mustn't stay here, I'm engaged child.
Clara. Ishan't intrude, ma'am-good day.
Lady Sarah. Adieu! stop-stop-I forgot ; give me two guineas.
Clara. Two guineas, ma'am!
Lady Sarah. Yes : for these tickets ; they're for the Signor's wife's benefit at Bath next Mon
day, the whole town will be there-nay, I shall attend-I'd make you take more, but as you'll have to pay card money bye and bye, it would be asking you to one's house absolutely to make a bargain of you! (Clara gives the two guineas.) there—you may go.
Clara. A bargain indeed! and a bad one too: for if I was mean enough to make money by my guests, would I lay it out on foreigners whá loll in carriages ? no—not while so many of our gallant soldiers and failors have only wooden limbs to stand on! (half aside.) I am gone, ma'am, (curtseying.) and now may Darnley get out of the scrape-Sir Paul get out of the house
and she and her brother knock their stupid heads together.
[Exit. Lady Sarah. I suppose this filly creature has interrupted the charming Mr. Darnley, and he has stept into my dressing room_(goes to the door and finds it fasten'd.)-lock'd inside-it must be fom (liftens)- I'declare I hear him moving ; (he liftens again)-he fighs !-poor man! (The speaks loudly.)
-—don't be dejected, my dear fir ; when I'm married to that old cottering
beau, Sir Paul, I'll think of nothing but you. So come, Mr. Darnley, (Enter Mrs. Darnley,) come my sweet Mr. Darnley.
Mrs. Darnley. Can it be possible?—then all's confirm'd madam, when I am convinced that my husband-that Mr. Darnley has been decoyed into that room.
Lady Sarah. (Spying at her.) Bless me!-its Mrs. Darnley !-this is a little aukward-however I'll soon talk her out of it, (afide.) Don't be uneasy, my dear these fashionable intrigues are
you had had
very harmless, I'll assure you, and if my free and liberal education-but poor thing! I suppose you were sent to school for instruction.
Mr. Darnley. To school! as certainly ma’am
Lady Sarah. There it is then : for what could you learn! only to sing well enough to spoil conversation-to play on the harpsichord, so as to give papa, mama, and the whole family an afternoon's nap—to dance fo aukwardly as to be always out of tune and place; and to speak just French enough, to make you forget English ; this is a boarding school education—But I my dear
Mrs. Darnley. Hear me, madam ! when I first saw you, I was the happiest of women-I had a husband who lov'd and honour'd me-who doated on his children, and knew no pleasure but in his family! and now how severe is the reverse ! you have robb’d me of that treasure, seduc'd it from my heart, and I return to a melancholy home, without a friend for my own distresses, or a father for my children !
Lady Sarah. And how can I help it ?-didn't I mean to do you both a service by introducing you to the great world?
Mrs. Darnley. Great world !--there again, madam !-when I enter'd this house, I expected from the exalted rank of its owner to have been surrounded with kindness, elegance, and hospitality !-but I find that high birth doesn't create high breeding, nor am ), because humbly born, less likely to set a polish'd example than yourself—Oh Darnley! why will you not come forth and save your once lov'd wife from agonies too great to bear.