Darnley. Why then I love my wife-I do I tenderly love her-and when I chufe to play the fool, let me expofe myself, but not wound her for heaven's fake!

Sir George. Nonfenfe !-you don't know Lady Sarah-fhe is one of thofe confident females, who won't let a man escape-who mark you for their prey---lure you into their talons; and, if you don't yield, will fo claw you.

Darnley. What! make me love her whether I will or not?

Sir George. Certainly but confider the advantages of her friendship: first she can get you promotion in the army; fecondly, by gaining an afcendancy over her, you may prevent her marrying your uncle; and thirdly, you can provide for your family without injuring your ho nour-there!-there's an opportunity!

Darnley. That's true; and if I thoughthark'ye, as we're alone, and you're my beft of friends-I've got a letter from her! the Signor brought it me here! (taking out a letter.)-She appoints me to meet her in her dreffing-room. Sir George. Bravo, Signor !-(afide)—let's read (Reads the Letter.)---" Lady Sarah Savage, having fomething particular to communicate "to Mr. Darnley, begs to fee him in her dreffing-room in an hour's time.". Go by all means,-go, I infist.

Darnley. Why, if I can perfuade her not to mare ry Sir Paul, or even get her to interfere with him -I'll go !-I'm fix'd-I'll write to her this inftant." He that effays no danger gains no "praise !"

Enter

Enter the Honourable Mr. SAVAGE hastily.

Savage. Joy! joy my lads! Sir Paul is arrived! and how do you think the old boy introduced himself to my porter?" Tell your mafter, fays he, a young gentleman defires to fee. him."

Sir George. Young gentleman!-that's excellent-he's at least seventy-two.

Savage. No, you wrong him; he's only feventy Sir Paul Perpetual-Old P. I mean; for that's his nick name you know has been the ancient beau of the age thefe thirty years, and as his great grief is, that he never had a fon, he wants my confent to marry my fifter.

Darnley. And do you mean to confent, fir? Savage. Certainly-I fay (afide to Sir George) -I want his fortune to repair my own, and therefore he fhan't leave the houfe till the marriage is effected-you know my way. I've given the hint to the fervants.

Enter a Servant.

Servant. Sir here's the young gentleman. Savage. Squire, take my place at the tablepush the wine about, and tell the jovial crew to prepare for quizzing-quizzing you rogue !go (Darnley exit)-the licenfe is in my pocket, a parfon's in the house, and if we can but confufe the young gentleman, we'll marry him in a joke, and afterwards take his fortune in earnest.

Enter SIR PAUL PERPETUAL, in a riding drefs.

Sir Paul. "Be lively, brifk and jolly!-lively, brifk and jolly!" (finging.) Ah, my boys!—here I am as young and hearty-but I can't ftay; I must be at Bath to-morrow.

Sir George. At Bath!-what to drink the waters? to renovate before marriage, Sir Paul.

Sir Paul. No-upon my foul there's no occafion-though, at present, perhaps a little physical advice wouldn't be much amifs: for between ourfelves, I've juft cut a tooth, and fuffer'd moft violently from the hooping cough! (They laugh) -Why what do you laugh at?

Savage. Nothing-nothing-only we wonder'd how fuch a chicken as you could ftruggle against a pair of fuch mortal diforders!-but, feriously what takes you to Bath?

3

Sir Paul. Such an event? I have trac'd a fon a boy above twenty years of age! that's my first reafon-my fecond is-to fee my grandfather. Savage. Your grandfather!

Sir Paul. Hark'ye-he fhall make settlements on my first four children.

Sir George. Pray, Sir Paul-I beg your pardon though what age may your grandfather be? Savage. Two hundred, if he's an hour! heh? an't I right, old P. ?

Sir Paul. Old P.! there it is now!-here I stand, that walk as much as any man-that ride as much as any man-that am every night at a concert, an opera, or a club-that sing, dance, game or intrigue! and what's more, that have done all this for fixty years !-and yet to be call'd old

6

old Pthey faid I never was a father-but I fhall foon prove the great and glorious fact. Savage. Ay! how will you prove it?

Sir Paul. How why you've all heard of my little Nelly-poor girl! fhe was jealous, and she left me to marry a tradefman-a clerk at a lottery office, and three months after we parted. fhe was deliver'd of a boy-a fine boy! as like me as one Cupid is to another-a year after her marriage, fhe died, and I can hear nothing of her husband; but let him fay what he will, I'll fwear the boy was mine; I'll fwear it, because I'm convinc'd I'm father to more children than one, Sir George.

Sir George. Very likely; but where did you learn all this?.

Sir Paul. From Nelly's fifter; a month ago I accidentally met her at Tunbridge; fhe had neither feen nor heard of the hufband fince her fifter's death, but the remember'd the child went by his mother's name! its mine!-I'm fure its mine! and (they laugh again.) I tell you what-you'd better be careful; for when you and other young sprigs of fafhion fmile at me, jeer me, and call me the infirm old P. !-'gad! you little think you dogs, you are laughing at your own father perhaps! however, I've trac'd my boy to Bath, and whoever difcovers him fhall have the too best racers in my ftud.

Savage. What fidget and fizgig? then I'll feek for young P. myfelf-I'll find him-I'llbut hold-hold-(Stopping Sir Paul who is going) don't go yet-your nephew's in the house.

Sir Paul. What Darnley?-zounds! then I won't stay a moment-no-not even to fee my dear Lady Sarah, who I'll marry if its only to disappoint

disappoint that rural reprobate-that-I'm gone.

Savage. No-you're not-I'll tell you a fecret; you fhall ftay a week with me.

Sir Paul. A week!

Savage. Ay: I've my reafons-fo don't think of ftirring; for your horfes are turn'd out to grafs-your faddles and bridles fnug in a hiding place, and all the gates double bar'd, infide and out.

Sir Paul. What the devil! make a prifoner of me?

Savage. Nonfenfe!I only forestall your wishes-I'm fure you want fome foft difcourfes with my fifter, and don't I know what my vifitors like better than they do themselves? don't I know you like getting drunk?-fo come; come in and drink! (Pulling him.)

Sir Paul. I don't-I hate drinking; and death and fire! haven't I told you I want to find my fon

Sir George. (Afide to Sir Paul.) Humour him; humour him, Sir Paul; or he'll refufe you his fifter.

Savage. Ay: give confent, or else

Sir Paul. Or elfe I lofe my wife I fuppofe; when I'm in the country, don't I like always to live quiet, and keep early hours, and would you lock me in a houfe where you never fee the fun? where you go to bed juft before it rifes, and get up the moment after it fets?

Savage. Will you give up the marriage, and let Darnley have his wifh?

Sir Paul. No-I'll die firft-I'll

Savage. Then will you join the jolly crew and

prove