idea of growing rich, he may be deluded into any fcheme. [SMALLTRADE appears at the doors, reading a ledger. Here he is-Be fecret and difcreet, Plainly, and perhaps the next time we converse, I may be proud to tell you, I have faved an innocent lady from treachery and ruin! [Exit, "Smalltrade Smalltrade. (coming forwrd.) "debtor to Sir Harry Hockley two thousand "pounds in fpecie-Creditor two hundred in paper."-Ah! that's very well! I don't know how it is-My little nice bank is not the thing it was-People of real property have become country bankers now, and play'd the devil with us petty, dashing traders. (Knocking at door.) Plainly, fee who's there. Plainly. Give me leave, fir. (Taking ledger, &c.) [Exit. Smalltrade. There's nothing like a fnug country bank-ready money received-paper notes paid-and though I make fifteen per cent. and pay their drafts in my own bills, what of that? A five guinea note is fo convenient for carriage or posting-lays fo clofe in a letter, or flips fo neatly in the fleeve of a coat-Oh! its of great ufe to the country, and a vast benefit to myfelf. Re-enter PLAINLY, follow'd by a Servant. Serv. Is this your country bank, as you-call it? Plainly. It is. Serv. I want change for this draft of Sir Harry Hockley's. B 2 Plainly. Plainly. Very well-How much is it for? Serv. A hundred pounds. Smalltrade. Mercy on me! You've fet me all in a tremble! Draw on a country bank for a hundred pounds-Why, does your mafter fuppose himself drawing on the bank of Amfterdam? Plainly. True, fir; and if you recollect, we had a large run upon us yesterday. Smalltrade. So we had-a very large run! Sir Thomas Roundhead drew in one draft for the enormous fum of twenty-five pounds; and here's your mafter draws for a hundred-Talk of a country bank! The bank of England cou'dn't ftand this. Serv. I can't tell, fir-Sir Harry said he had ten times the money in your hands. Smalltrade. So he has, and what then? Doesn't he place money in my hands that it may be fafe? and if he is to draw it out in large fums, that is, if he is to get it when he wants it, where wou'd be the ufe of a banker? Plainly, pay the draft in my own notes; and d'ye mind, let them be all at thirty and forty days fightYoung man, go with my clerk. [Exeunt PLAINLY ana Servant, 'Tis near the time my accomplished coufin, Mifs Dazzle, is to wait upon me-She writes me word fhe has to communicate a new mode of growing rich-Dear! how I long to hear it? It's my way always to catch at every thingHere he is. Enter Enter Mifs Dazzle. Mifs Dazzle. Good morning, Mr. Smalltrade -I'm forry we hadn't the pleasure of seeing you at our gala laft night. Smalltrade. Pray be feated, coufin. (They fit.) Ah! I'm told it was the most grand, expenfive entertainment. Mifs Dazzle. Expenfive! your pardon, firIt didn't coft me and my brother a fhilling. Smalltrade. No! Mifs Dazzle. No-and what will furprize you more, it is our fumptuous houfe, our brilliant rooms, and extravagant entertainments that pay all our expences-In fhort, Mr. Smalltrade, we'ye found out a new mode of growing rich. Smalltrade. Have you? (rubbing his hands) That's what I want to hear about. Mifs Dazzle. And that's what I came to impart to you-In a word, fir, we keep a bank. Smalltrade. Do you? Well, that's one way. Mifs Dazzle. Yes, fuch a bank! so opposite to yours! We know nothing of notes, checks, clerks, or currency-We don't rife early in the morning to fettle our accounts, or fhut up before evening to prevent our customers from fettling theirs-No all our bufinefs is done in the dark, my dear coufin. Smalltrade. In the dark! fo is mine too, my dear coufin. Mifs Dazzle. Then, while you are fatisfied with a hundred pounds profit in a week, we are not content with a thoufand in a night, and if ever we stop payment, which fortune avert! we have nothing to furrender but mahogany tables, wax-lights, cards, and dice-boxes. Smalltrade. Smalltrade. (rifing) I understand-you keep a Faro-table-Oh! take me!-Take me as Groom-porter and I'll make my fortune, if its only by picking up the droppings. Mifs Dazzle. There's the point-if you would but confent to become a partner with myself and my brother, our profits wou'd be trebled. Smalltrade. Wou'd they? That's nice! Mifs Dazzle. The cafe is this-Occasionally, though it feldom happens, we want ready money to carry on the campaign. Smalltrade. Ready money! Ah! there's the devil-I've nothing but paper. Mifs Dazzle. Nonfenfe! Your notes can be changed into cafh, and Sir Charles and I will pay the difcount. Smalltrade. What! pay the discount out of your own pockets, and give me a third of the profits befides? Mifs Dazzle. Certainly. Smalltrade. Then I'll be a partner, and-Yet, hold, hold-I'd better not determine too haftily (afide.) Mifs Dazzle, here's my visitor, Lady Henrieta, fo, as we're disturb'd you fee, I'll wait on you in an hour and talk further. Mifs Dazzle. By that time Sir Charles will arrive from London-Good day. Smalltrade. Adieu! Zounds! I always had a turn for gaiety, and I don't think I need fear being impofed upon; for I've fo long managed a trading bank, that I must understand a gambling one!-I fay, coufin, not a word to her about the new mode of growing rich-Good day! [Exit. Mifs Dazzle. So, the old gentleman is caught in the fnare; and aided by his bank, what will not not ours atchieve? Lady Henrietta, who has refused my brother's hand and title, will now be his on other terms, and Warford, who is our enemy, will be involved in his uncle's ruin. Enter WARFORD and LADY HENRIETTA. Lady Henrietta. Why fo grave, Mr. Warford? You really can be very pleasant if you please; but those gloomy looks! I declare you are quite an alter'd man; isn't he, Mifs Dazzle? Mifs Dazzle. Every thing changes, Lady Henrietta. Lady Henrietta. Why, that's very true;-now to look at the alterations in this town fince laft fummer-Friends have become enemies, and enemies, friends-You fhall hear.-The other night, I went to Lady Changewell's, where I used to meet all my old acquaintance-To my aftonishment, I didn't fee a foul I knew. Mifs Dazzle. Really! Lady Henrietta. No-an entire new set of faces So, I asked her ladyship after her friend, the little Colonel-She faid, "they didn't speak "now." "Where is your companion and fa"vorite, Lady Brilliant"-faid I." Oh! the "creature is in debt, faid fhe, and wants me to "lend her money."" And where is your dear, darling, loving hufband," faid I." My dear, "darling, loving husband lives with an Italian "Countess," fays fhe-" We're divorced, and I "am to be married to-morrow, to my old bitter "enemy, Sir Francis Fickle-I now think him a "moft delightful, charming fellow, and believe "he's the only real friend I ever had, ha! ha, "ha!" Mifs Dazzle. Excellent! |