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idea of growing rich, he may be deluded into
[SMALLTRADE appears at the doors, reading a
ledger. Here he is-Be fecret and discreet, Plainly, and perhaps the next time we converse, I may be proud to tell you, I have saved an innocent lady from treachery and ruin!
(Exit, Smalltrade. (coming forwrd.) « Smalltrade « debtor to Sir Harry Hockley two thousand “ pounds in specie-Creditor two hundred in
paper.”—Ah! that's very well ! I don't know how it is My little nice bank is not the thing it was—People of real property have become country bankers now, and play'd the devil with us petty, dalhing traders. (Knocking at door.) Plainly, fee who's there. Plainly. Give me leave, fir. (Taking ledger, &c.)
[Exit. Smalltrade. There's nothing like a snug country bank-ready money received-paper notes paid-and though I make fifteen per cent. and pay their drafts in my own bills, what of that? A five guinea note is so convenient for carriage or posting-lays so close in a letter, or nips so neatly in the Neeve of a coat-Oh! its of
great use to the country, and a vast benefit to myself.
Re-enter Plainly, follow'd by a Servant. Serv. Is this your country bank, as you call it ?
Plainly. It is.
Serv. I want change for this drafç of Sir Harry Hockley's.
Plainly. Very well-How much is it for?
Smalltrade. Mercy on me! You've set me all in a tremble ! Draw on a country bank for a hundred pounds—Why, does your master suppose himself drawing on the bank of Amsterdam?
Plainly. True, sir; and if you recollect, we had a large run upon us yesterday.
Smalltrade. So we had a very large run! Sir Thomas Roundhead drew in one draft for the enormous sum of twenty-five pounds; and here's your master draws for a hundred_Talk of a country bank! The bank of England cou'dn't stand this.
Serv. I can't tell, fir-Sir Harry said he had ten times the money in your hands. .
Smalltrade. So he has, and what then ? Doesn't he place money in my hands that it may be safe? and if he is to draw it out in large sums, that is, if he is to get it when he wants it, where wou'd be the use of a banker? Plainly, pay the draft in my own notes; and d’ye mind, let them be all at thirty and forty days sightYoung man, go with my clerk.
[Exeunt PLAINLY ana Servant, 'Tis near the time my accomplished cousin, Miss Dazzle, is to wait upon me-She writes me word she has to communicate a new mode of growing rich-Dear! how I long to hear it? It's my way always to catch at every thingHere she is.
Enter Mifs Dazzle. Miss Dazzle. Good morning, Mr. Smalltrade - I'm sorry we hadn't the pleasure of seeing you at our gala last night.
Smalltrade. Pray be seated, cousin. (They fit.) Ah! I'm told it was the most grand, expensive entertainment.
Miss Dazzle. Expensive ! your pardon, firIt didn't cost me and my brother a shilling.
Miss Dazzle. No—and what will surprize you more, it is our sumptuous house, our brilliant rooms, and extravagant entertainments that pay all our expences—In short, Mr. Smalltrade, we've found out a new mode of growing rich.
Smalltrade. Have you? (rubbing bis hands) That's what I want to hear about.
Miss Dazzle. And that's what I came to impart to you-In a word, sir, we keep a bank.
Smalltrade. Do you? Well, that's one way.
Miss Dazzle. Yes, such a bank ! so opposite to yours! We know nothing of notes, checks, clerks, or currency-We don't rise early in the morning to settle our accounts, or shut up before evening to prevent our customers from fertling theirs-No all our business is done in the dark, my dear cousin.
Smalltrade. In the dark! so is mine too, my dear cousin.
Miss Dazzle. Then, while you are satisfied with a hundred pounds profit in a week, we are not content with a thousand in a night, and if ever we stop payment, which fortune avert! we have nothing to surrender but mahogany tables, wax-lights, cards, and dice-boxes.
Smalltrade. (rifing) I understand you keep a Faro-table-Oh! take me! - Take me as Groom-porter and I'll make my fortune, if its only by picking up the droppings.
Miss Dazzle. There's the point-if you would but confent to become a partner with myself and my brother, our profits wou'd be trebled.
Smalltrade. Wou'd they? That's nice!
Miss Dazzle. The case is this Occasionally, though it seldom happens, we want ready money to carry on the campaign.
Smalltrade. Ready money! Ah! there's the devil-I've nothing but paper.
Miss Dazzle. Nonsense! Your notes can be changed into cash, and Sir Charles and I will pay the discount.
Smallırade. What! pay the discount out of your own pockets, and give me a third of the profits besides?
Miss Dazzle. Certainly.
Smalltrade. Then I'll be a partner, and-Yet, hold, hold-I'd better not determine too haftily (afide.) Miss Dazzle, here's my visitor, Lady Henrieta, fo, as we're disturb'd you see, I'll wait on you in an hour and talk further.
Mifs Dazzle. By that time Sir Charles will arrive from London-Good day.
Smalltrade. Adieu ! Zounds! I always had a turn for gaiety, and I don't think I need fear being imposed upon ; for I've so long managed a trading bank, that I must understand a gambling one !--I say, cousin, not a word to her about the new mode of growing rich-Good day!
[Exit. Miss Dazzle. So, the old gentleman is caught in the snare; and aided by his bank, what will
not ours atchieve? Lady Henrietta, who has refused
brother's hand and title, will now be his on other terms, and Warford, who is our enemy, will be involved in his uncle's ruin.
Enter WARFORD and LADY HENRIETTA, Lady Henrietta. Why so grave, Mr. Warford ? ? You really can be very pleasant if you please; but those gloomy looks ! I declare you are quite an alter'd man; isn't he, Miss Dazzle ?
Miss Dazzle. Every thing changes, Lady Henrietta.
Lady Henrietta. Why, that's very true ;~now to look at the alterations in this town fince last summer-Friends have become enemies, and enemies, friends--You shall hear. The other night, I went to Lady Changewell's, where I used to meet all my old acquaintance-To my astonishment, I didn't see a soul I knew.
Miss Dazzle. Really!
Lady Henrietta. No an entire new set of faces-So, I asked her ladyship after her friend, the little Colonel-She said, “ they didn't speak o now.” “ Where is your companion and fa« vorite, Lady Brilliant”-said I." Oh! the " creature is in debt, said she, and wants me to “ lend her money.”—“And where is your dear,
darling, loving husband,” said I.-"My dear, “ darling, loving husband lives with an Italian « Countess,” says shem" We're divorced, and I “ am to be married to-morrow, to my old bitter enemy,
Sir Francis Fickle-I now think him a “ most delightful, charming fellow, and believe “ he's the only real friend I ever had, ha! ha, « ha!” Mifs Dazzle. Excellent!