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Nom. I shall lose her ! here'll be no elopement! no being pursued by her relations--hunted by the court of chancery-advertized by government, or what's belt of all, carried to the Fleet or King's Bench, midst the shouts of old maids, and groans of boarding school misses ! Enter Sophia from the house, with her cloak on.
Sophia. So-Heaven be praised, I have made my escape--and now, if I knew where to fly for protection--
Nom. [having observed ber] Fly into my arms, my angel-I'll put you into that chaise in a moment, out of town in an instant, at Gretna Green in a second, and in all the news papers and printShops before to-morrow morning!
Sophia. Upon my word, Sir, I'm very much obliged to you! [curtjes.] Pray, may I ask who you are?
Nom. Who I am? Why, if you don't know me, you know nothing - I'm Nominal.
Sophia. Nominal ! Is it possible? What ! the gentleman who fo generously released me from the Colonel, and has since made so much noise and confusion ?
Nom. Yes; I'm the man! I've made a noise! and if you love notoriety-you muft prefer me to all heroes, past, present, or to come ! My angel! [takes ber hand] where shall I conduct you? As far, or as near as you please[afidé.] I shall get as much fame by two miles, as two hundred for though I mean to be honourable, I know the world is two scandalous to think me fo!
Sophia. Ah! I wish I could depend on youYou see I've no resource I must either return to the tyranny of my guardian, or trust to your honour and generosity.
Nom. Trust! Look ye, my charming girl ! I've had an intrigue without an intimacy-a duel without enmity, and I meant to have had an elopement without matrimony! But, by Heaven ! there's something in your person and manner, has so won upon me! that, let me have the fame of carrying you off, and hereafter you shall dispose of me as you please !
Sophia. I believe you ; and if you will conduct me to a relation's house, a few miles from town
Nom. Come along, Sophia !---Faith! I've been so long looking for a creature fo eccentric as myself, that now I've found one, I'll not easily
part with it!
SIR ANDREW within. Sir Andrew. Where are you all-James ! Sophia. My guardian's voice--make halle, Sir.
Nom. Farewell, old mifery, and once more for notoriety
[Exit with Sophia. Re-enter Sir ANDREW from house. Sir Andrew. There they go ! that devil of a fellow has carried her off! I'll pursue them I'll
Enter COLONEL HUBBUB. Col. [speaking to Nominal] Huzza ! that's right away with her.-Look, old boy ! look there !-First he intrigues with your wife, and then he elopes with your ward ! Isn't he a fine fellow ? Isn't he like me?
Sir Andrew. Yes; he's as like you, as one madman is like another but I'll overtake him ! I'll make him studious again, or beat him as foundly as he beat you! I'll be revenged !
Col. I knew I should bring him up to some purpose ! Instead of practising law, he'll promote it now, and then for a general election-Oh ! what a scene will he make at a general election!
Enter O'WHACK. O'Whack. And has your honour found him out at last? by my soul, I always said he was as full of mischief as yourself, ma foi.
Col. Yes; that he is ! he's me in every thing; and here, thou dear tutor, here's something for the pains you have taken in finishing his education [giving him money.]
O'Whack. Bien obligé, your honour ! I never wanted the dear craters more in my life ; for there's a fine young jontleman just thrown into prison, who hasn't a sous to save him from ftarvation-So, d’ye see, as he once did me a bit of a service, I'll do him another; and then there'll be no mauvaire houte betwixt us, you know
Col. What is his name, O'Whack ?
O'Whack. Monsieur Clairville ! poor lad! I believe he was just going to the Eastern Indies to bring home a large fortune in his pocket, and a little hole in his liver.
Col. Clairville in prison !
O'Whack. C'est vrais, jewel_his brother, who is a lord, and not a gentleman d'ye see, had him tap'd on the shoulder, and thrown into jail for a thousand louis d'ors.
Col. I know his brother's treachery well; and now rejoice that Nominal befriended Clairville, instead of injuring him-But go to him, O'Whack, tell him, I'll fee Lord Jargon, and do all in my power to aflift him-Go, and comfort him,
O’Whack. I'll go directly, and ten thousand blessings on your honour in the bargain-Bon jour ! Oh ! by the eternal powers ! I wish we had his Lordship in Ireland—I'd lay my best chapeau to a thirteen, he'd never make a speech about the good of his country again. [Exit.
Col. Poor Clairville! I'll enquire into the matter instantly, and then to hear what Nominal has done with Sophia-Oh! the dear fellow! Now
The breed will be preserv'd from fire to fire,
SCENE-- An apartment with glass doors--Enter
HONORIA from doors, and seeing LADY Acid
Lady A. What's the matter with you now? What makes you look so pale ?
Hon. Nothing, Ma'am! nothing
Lady A. I come to tell you, that, that wretch Clairville is in prison, and will remain there for ever ;
unless you have discretion enough to acceptLord Jargon’soffers—then he'll be released Nay, none of your airs—his Lordship is honourable; he means marriage.
Hon. Marriage! can his Loship have the condescension ?
Lady A. Yes; and see where he comes to make his own proposals,
Enter LORD JARGON. I've been telling Honoria, my Lord, that you'll have the humanity to release your profligate bro.
ther from prison, if she'll consent to share your title and fortune.
Lord Jar. Am I to be the happy man?
Hon. No.-Let me be the simple Honoria, and enjoy self approbation, rather than be the wife of your Lordship, and lose the congratulations of my own heart.
Lady A. Hear me, Honoria-think of the title, the fashion !
Hon. Fashion ! contemptible! I'm weary of the very word! What has it ever done, that there should be luch magic in the found? 'Tis true, it has thrown a veil over vice, exalted the undeserving, and given a sanction to diffipation ; but has it ever relieved poverty, lessened oppression, or wiped away the tear of suffering virtue! name it not then—nor name his Lordship as a husband I shall treat both with equal disdain.
Lord Jar. More sentiments ! and where they came from, Heaven only knows !
Lady A. Mighty fine, Madam; but since you're so arrogant, the Colonel shall be told of your behaviour-he shall hear of your mean mercenary disposition- What though you pretend to despile his Lordship, you can receive jewels from him.
Hon. Jewels! Heaven's ! Was I not compellid, Madam?
Lady A. No matter—the proof is against youthey are in your poffeffion, and when your uncle hears of it, I'm sure he won't refuse his Lordfhip's offers.