Lord Jar. Can't you?

Nom. No; I can't make myself conspicuous! and yet I've been abfurd, particular, and noisyBut what fignifies? every body elfe is the fame! The whole town's fo ridiculous, that to be stared at, a man should be as quiet, and as dull as-a fimile! Heh, Peer! [taking fnuff, and offering LORD JARGON fome.]

Lord Jar. How can you drink, I hate it-If I indulged myself in fuch odious customs, do you think I fhould be a favourite with the women? [taking a pinch.]

Nom. Favourite with the women! Ay, there's the rub! If I could get the fame of an intrigue, ór an elopement, or any other fweet impropriety! oh !

Lord far. Intrigue or elopement !-Um! Nom. Um! Why, what's the matter with you?

Lord far. Look ye, Nominal-nothing is fo fhocking as to impart fecrets, or boast of a Lady's favours-It's what I never do, Sir-Elfe I cou'd tell you

Nom. Tell me !-what?

Lord far. That I am this moment going on both an intrigue and an elopement !

Nom. The devil you are! who? when? where? open, unfold, you amiable !—you furprizing fenator !

Lord far. Fie! do you think I'd betray the confidence of the fair? No, if I was only to hint to you that, that chair-that very chair was to take me to a certain Baronet's houfe, inftead of a wax figure

Nom. Wax-figure! Go on-difpatch! I'm all on fire! wheugh! [rubbing his bands and. hewing figns of great joy.]

H 2

Lord

Lord far. I fay, I fhould be the greatest rafcal living, if I was only to hint that I intrigued with the Baronet's wife, that fhe was to conduct me to the chamber of a young lady, and that their names were

Nom. Hang their names! only let me underftand; that chair, you fay, takes you to the lady with whom you intrigue, and fhe conducts you to the girl with whom you elope [Lord nods affent] Bravo, my boy! bravo! Give me your hand, and now, curfe me if I can help laughing, to think how they'll all be furprized! ha, ha, ha!

Lord far. No, nor I-The old hufband little thinks who's coming to make a fool of him! ha,; ha, ha! But, excufe me a moment-I muft ftep, over the way to order fervants to be near the houfe - Stay till I return, and you'll fee what a figure I'll make in the chair.

Nom. Yes, yes-I'll ftay-But go over the way-Get along with you, wheugh!

Lord far. I fay, Nominal, I fancy you'd like go to in the chair inftead of me, ha, ha, ha! Nom: Yes, that I would, ha, ha, ha!

[Exit Lord Jargon. And if I don't if I don't perch myfelf in the centre of it-dam'me if I know any thing of fame, or notoriety Gad, this is the luckieft hit-I might have been whole years luring one woman into an intrigue, or another into an elopementbut here's the bufinefs ready cut out to my hands; and, therefore, that no time may be loft-you two coroner fupporters [laying hold of chairmen] open the chair, and let me be the Peer's proxy Take me to the Baronet's directly, or by all that's fingular

First Chairman. Blood and ounds ! is the man befide himself ?

Nom.

Nom. [fhaking them.] No trifling!-Here's a purfe and a piftol! Money or murder! Take your choice this moment!

Second Chairman. Take the money, Pat, take the money!

Nom. Here you rogues, here! [giving purfe.] And now I fwear, whatever were his lordship's defigns, mine fhall be harmlefs and honourable ! All I want is the fame of the thing, and if I can get that, hang me if I'll fatigue myfelf or the Ladies! So, open the chair, and away, my boys! [gets in and looks from window.] When you fee' his Lordship, tell him the next time he is going on an amour, not to mention it before handLead on to notoriety !-Drink and drive care away! [Exit in chair.

Re-enter LORD JARGON.

Lord Jar. Now, Nominal, now you fhall fee what a figure I'll cut in the clair!-How! what! gone! the chair too! S'death! I cut a very pretty figure indeed!-But, I'll be revenged-1'll follow him, and have fatisfaction directly; and for Clairville and Honoria, I'll betray one, and imprifon the other! I will, as I'm a gentleman' and a man of honour! [Exit.

SCENE-LADY ACID's Dreffing Room-Toilette i-Doors open in Flat-and Part of a Bed feen— Chairs and Candles.'

Enter HONORIA with a letter

Hon. Can it be poffible? Can fhe who fhould protect me, thus betray me? I will not, dare not believe it! and yet would Clairville ter

rify me with falfe fufpicions? Let me read the letter once more-(reads)" I have been juft "informed, that Lord Jargon and Lady Acid

have defigns against you, and that, to-night, "they mean to put their villainy in execution"I hope they cannot be so treacherous, but as you love my peace or your own, be on your "guard-beware Honoria! and remember the "unhappy Clairville!" If it be true, how fhall I extricate myself? The Colonel is fo convinced of Lady Acid's honour,that all fupplication to him would be in vain-Alas! I have no friend to fuccour or defend me, and helpless as I amHa! fhe comes! I dread to meet her.

Enter LADY ACID.

Lady A. How! not gone to your chamber, Honoria?

Hon. I'm going, Madam- her very look alarms me (afide.)

Lady A. What is the girl muttering? I declare you grow more and more forward and impertinent every hour-but I'll humble you-I'll make an example of you!

Hon. (kneeling) Oh! on my knees let me entreat your pity! do not defert me, do not abandon me-promise me I fhall not be in the power of Lord Jargon, and I'll be your flave for

ever.

Lady A. Lord Jargon! why, what's the fool loft thinking of? Have you your fenfes ?

Hon. No-not yet, Madam-but if I retain them, it must be by your humanity—you have often faid that you would be a mother to mebe fo now-ave me from this hour of danger, and

Lady

Lady A. Danger! let me hear no more of this infolence, but be gone!

Enter BETTY, follow'd by Chairmen with Chair Betty. The chair with the figure, your Ladyship.

Lady A. Put it down and leave it (exeuns Betty and Chairmen.) Now comes my triumph!. (afide) How! not gone yet, Mifs? Retire this inftant, or

Hon. I obey, Madam-Oh! what, what will become of me?

(Exit. Lady A. There fhe goes! and now for my dear, dear Lord! (taps at chair window) Lord Jargon! Lord Jargon! come forth, and my dear Lord, enfure your prize-[NOMINAL lets down the front glafs, looks at her, and nods.] Heavens ! what do I fee?

Nom. No Lord-or wax figure, but as lively a fellow as ever you intrigued with-(pying, Fine jolly woman.

Lady A. Who are you? has his Lordship sent you to infult me?

Nom. No; he has fent me, not to disappoint you; (pying again) Rather fat tho'

Lady A. Mercy! there's my husband!

(knock)

Nom. [eagerly] Your husband! Tell me, my

darling, tell me, is he jealous?

Lady A. Jealous !-to an extreme!

Nom. What he'll bring an action, and fue for a divorce?

Lady A. Yes.

Nom. Paragraph and caricature me?

Lady A. Certainly.

Nom. Challenge and fight me?

Lady A. Undoubtedly.

Nom. Huzza! bravo! I'm made! I'm immor

taliz'd! let me out, and let him in directly.

COLONEL