as my own, I muft beg leave to conceal, is fo much fufpected by her family, that, alone, I may be interrupted in the interview.If, there fore, you will meet me at Grofvenor Gate at ten o'clock, I will conduct you to the house, which is a fhort way from town-But if we are difcovered, and the business becomes public

Nom. Why, then, I fhall be doubly obliged to you.

Clair. Well; but if your name is brought forward and abused?

Nom. Why, then the obligation will be trebled. I like abufe, and I'll tell you why-It brings one into notice; and if fomebody doesn't cut me up, I mean to do it myself.

Clair. How! abuse yourself!

Nom. Certainly-for, if I don't let people know what a fingular, abfurd, ufelefs fort of fellow I am, how will they find it out? Silence finks you into obfcurity, my boy; and for my part, I had rather be laughed at for standing in the pillory, than not noticed at all.

Clair. Well; this is the strangest system! What, you want to get a name, I suppose?

Nom. I do; and, Heaven be praised, 'tis easier now to be obtained than in days of yore. Then, conqueft, patriotifm and virtue were the only paths to fame; but now-a-days, eccentricity, impudence and diffipation fettle the bufinefsAnd if I don't cut out Cæfar or Mark Antony to-morrow-But come along-I have fome law business with my guardian; and, after that, for you and your interview.

Clair. Ten thousand thanks.-But may I ask how you intend getting a name to-morrow?

Nom.

Nom. I'll tell you---I mean to fight a duel, commence an intrigue, and complete an elopement---But where are the Ladies, or who is the Gentleman, I neither know, nor can inform you---only be affured, I'll accomplish it, and then, my boy! when I lack wit, I'll boaft of my exploits; and when I want money---why, I'll fhew myself as a curiofity! So allons!

[Exeunt.

END of ACT I.

D

SCENE

ACT II.

SCENE, NOMINAL'S Lodgings Table with Books on it]---O'WHACK difcovered placing the

Books:

O'Whack. The Colonel will be here dans une moment---if my mafter hadn't l'argent enough of his own, he wou'dn't be after tazing his old Guardian in this manner---Voila! tout eft arrangé, and now to receive him a la mode de François, as we fay in Ireland.

Enter Colonel HUBBUB, and Sir ANDREW Acíb.

Col. [Dancing and finging] Ti, di, di, di! Sir Andr. Keep quiet, I tell you---Oh, curfe your joy.

Col. Ti, di, di, di! The lad of fpirit! The boy after his Guardian's own heart!-Here, here's a contract to marry my niece Honoria.

Sir Andr. Be ferious, I tell you, grinning don't become you.

Col. Here, this gives him my niece with thirty thousand pounds, and if he had returned a folid, ftudious, good for nothing fort of young man, do you think I'd have figned it? No! but to have him come home a dashing dog !---a choice spirit! Ods heart; if his uncle, the old General, was alive, he'd die with joy!

Sir Andr. Old General, indeed! A pretty uncle he was to leave his nephew to the care of fuch a Guardian as you---But I remember him, he loved diffipation, and defpifed prudence as much as yourself.

Col.

Col. He did; and he appointed me Guardian to the dear boy, that I might fee the glorious breed preferv'd! and now he is a choice fpirit.

Sir Andr. A choice devil! What, you want him to be a fellow who can fight a duel in one field, and be fecond in another? who drinks hard, and rides harder; who talks much, thinks little, and reads lefs; who carries off young women, and runs away from old ones!-In fhort, who loves notoriety, and makes noife and confufion wherever he goes!

Col. That's it! You've hit it exactly-only with this difference, that, tho' I defpife prudence, I deteft knavery; and if ever he behaves like a villain, if ever he does a difhonorable action, I'l cut him off with a fhilling, and I know the old General would have done the fame-But where is he? Ti, di, di, di! Od, I'm fo happy[Offers to take Jnuff out of Sir ANDREW's box, who refufes it.] Why what's the matter with you, coufin? You don't feem to partake my joy.

Sir Andr. Yes, I do-nothing fo pleafant as to fee ev'ry body on the broad grin. I hope it will laft, that's all! But I know you mean ruin him, as you have your Niece Honoria, inftead of improving her mind, teaching her the languages

Col. Her the languages? Why, old boy, hav'n't you found out that one tongue is enough for a woman?—No, no; I have brought her into high life-fent her to Concerts-Operas

Sir Andr. Operas! Now that's a pretty bufinefs-to pay a piece of gold to fet five or fix hours in a houfe, where you fall asleep to fave hearing what you don't understand.

D 2

Col.

Col. Five or fix hours! Pha! that's nothing to what I do I pay fome thoufand pieces of gold, to fit feven years in another houfe, where I must fall asleep; for, hang me, if ever I heard a word I understood!

O'Whack. Bon! Ha, ha, ha!

Sir And. So here's another merry rafcal! Ay, do look at each other, and fmile-I never faw one fool look at another in the face without grinning [Exit O'Whack]-And give me leave to tell you, Colonel

Col. Well don't be angry-Isn't it strange you can't bear to fee every body happy? But come, where's the boy, the Heart of Oak ? [looking over books on table.] Why, what's here? A Law Dictionary!

Sir Andr. A Law Dictionary! Something ferious at laft! [reads] "Acto Quinto Jacobo primo!"-No hazard table!

Col. Hazard! Ay, that's right-making himfelf master of that fine art Law! 'Sblood! if he had the leaft inclination for that folemn, fable profeffion, I'd break his bones! I'd-but he comes! the dear profligate comes! Ti, di, di, di! My boy, my life!

Enter Nominal, in a dressing gown, reading a book. Nom. C. cuts off the remainder, and D. lofes his tail.

Col. Come, my darling-Let's hear of your frolics-Mine and the General's old tricks!

Nom. [Still reading] That infernal tail !—Ha, Guardian! Sir Andrew! Both welcome! Been at the Hall lately? [To Colonel.]

Col. Been at the devil!-Come, let's hear of your pranks!