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Now, were I once at home, and in good satire, | There stands the noble hostess, nor shall sink I'd try conclusions with those Janizaries, With the three-thousandth curtsey ; there And show them what an intellectual war is.

the waltzThe only dance which teaches girls to think

Makes one in love even with its very faults. I think I know a trick or two, would turn Saloon, room, hall o'erflow beyond their Their flanks ;- but it is hardly worth my

brink, while

And long the latest of arrivals halts, With such small gear to give myself concern: "Midst royal dukes and dames condemnd to Indeed I've not the necessary bile;

climb, My natural temper's really aught but stern, And gain an inch of staircase at a time. And even my Muse's worst reproof 's a smile; And then she drops a brief and modern


Thrice happy he, who, after a survey And glides away, assured she never hurts ye. Of the good company, can win a corner,

A door that's in, or boudoir out of the way,
Where he

may fix himself, like small Jack My Juan, whom I left in deadly peril

Horner," Amongst live poets and blue ladies, pass'd And let the Babel round run as it may, With some small profit through that field And look on as a mourner, or a scorner,

80 sterile.

Or an approver, or a mere spectator, Being tired in time, and neither least nor last Yawning a little as the night grows later. Left it before he had been treated very ill; And henceforth found himself more gaily


But this won't do, save by and by; and he Amongst the higher spirits of the day,

Who, like Don Juan, takes an active share, The sun's true son, no vapour, but a ray. Must steer with care through all that glit

tering sea Of

gems and plumes, and pearls and silks, His morns he pass'd in business – which,

to where dissected,

He deems it is his proper place to be; Was like all business, a laborious nothing, Dissolving in the waltz to some soft air, That leads to lassitude, the most infected And Centaur Nessus garb of mortal clothing, Where Science marshals forth her own

Or proudlier prancing with mercurial skill And on our sofas makes us lie dejected,

quadrille. And talk in tender horrors of our loathing All kinds of toil, save for our country's


Or, if he dance not, but hath higher views Which grows no better, though 'tis time it Upon an heiress or his neighbour's bride,

Let him take care that that which he

His afternoons he pass'd in visits, luncheons, is not at once too palpably descried.
Lounging and boxing; and the twilight hour

Full many an eager gentleman oft rues In riding round those vegetable puncheons

His haste: impatience is a blundering guide Calld Parks," where there is neither fruit Amongst a people famous for reflection,

nor flower

Who like to play the fool with circumEnough to gratify a bee's slight munchings;

spection. But after all it is the only “bower" (In Moore's phrase) where the fashionable


But, if you can contrive, get next at supper; Can form a slight acquaintance with fresh air Or, if forestalld, get opposite and ogle:-

Oh, ye ambrosial moments! always upper

In mind, a sort of sentimental bogle, Then dress, then dinner, then awakes the Which sits for ever upon memory's crupper,


The ghost of vanish'd pleasures once in Then glare the lamps, then whirl the wheels,

then roar

Can tender souls relate the rise and fall Through street and square fast flashing Of hopes and fears which shake a single ball.

chariots, hurl'd Like harness'd meteors! then along the floor Chalk mimics painting; then festoons are But these precautionary hints can touch


Only the common run, who must pursue, Then roll the brazen thunders of the door, Aud watch, and ward; whose plans a word Which opens to the thousand happy few

too much An earthly Paradise of “Or Molu." Or little overturns; and not the few

vogne! I




Or many (for the number's sometimes such) | Where is his will? (That's not so soon Whom a good mien, especially if new,

unriddled.) Or fame, or name, for wit, war, sense, or And where is “Fum” the Fourth, our nonsense,

"royal bird? ;) Permits whate'er they please, or did not Gone down it seems to Scotland, to be long since.

fiddled Unto by Sawney's violin, we have heard :

“Caw me, caw thee”-for six months hath Our hero, as a hero, young and handsome,

been hatching Noble, rich, celebrated, and a stranger,

This scene of royalitch and loyal scratching. Like other slaves of course must pay his Before he can escape from so much danger | Where is Lord This? And where my Lady As will environ a conspicuous man. Some

That ? Talk about poetry, and “rack and manger,” | The Honourable Mistresses and Misses? And ugliness, disease, as toil and trouble;

Some laid aside like an old opera-hat, I wish they knew the life of a young noble. Married, unmarried, and remarried - (this is

An evolution oft perforin'd of late)

Where are the Dublin shouts -- and London They are young, but know not youth-it

hisses ? is anticipated ;

Where are the Grenvilles? Turn'd as usual. Handsome but wasted, rich without a sou;

Where Their vigour in a thousand arms is dissi- My friends the Whigs? Exactly where they

pated ; Their cash comes from, their wealth goes

to a Jew; Both senates see their nightly votes parti- Where are the Lady Carolines and Franceses? cipated

Divorced or doing there anent. Ye ann als Between the tyrant's and the tribunes' crew; So brilliant, where the list of routs and And, having voted, dined, drank, gamed,

dances is and whored,

ThouMorning-Post,sole record of the pannels The family-vault receives another lord. Broken in carriages, and all the phantasies

Of fashion - say what streams now fill

those channels ? “Where is the world,” cries Young, “at Some die, some fly, some languish on the eighty? Where

Continent, The world in which a man was born?” Alas! Because the times have hardly left them Where is the world of eight years past ?

one tenant. 'Twas there I look for it—'tis gone, a globe of glass! Crack'd, shiver'd, vanish’d, scarcely gazed Some who once set their caps at cautious on, ere

dukes, A silent change dissolves the glittering mass. Have taken up at length with younger Statesmen, chiefs, orators, queens, patriots,

brothers; kinge,

Some heiresses have bit at sharpers' hooks; And dandies,all are gone on the wind's wings. Some maids have been made wives--some

merely mothers;

Others have lost their fresh and fairy looks: Where is Napoleon the Grand? God knows: In short, the list of alterations bothers Where little Castlereagh? The Devil can tell: There's little strange in this, but something Where Grattan, Curran, Sheridan, all those

strange is Who bound the bar or senate in their spell? The unusual quickness of these common Where is the unhappy Queen, with all her

changes. woes? And where the daughter, whom the Isles loved well?

Talk not of seventy years as age; in seven Where are those martyr'd Saints, the Five

I have seen more changes, down from

monarchs to And where-oh where the devil are the The humblest individual under heaven, Rents?

Than might suffice a moderate century


I knew that nought was lasting.but now even Where's Brummel? Dish’d. Where's Long Change grows too changeable, without Pole Wellesley? Diddled:

being new: Where's Whitbread ? Romilly? Where's Nought's permanent among the human race, George the l'hird ?

Except the Whigs not getting into place.

per Cents ?



I have seen Napoleon, who seem'd quite a What Juan saw and underwent, shall be


My topie with of course the due restriction Shrink to a Saturn. I have seen a duke Which is required by proper courtesy; (No matter which) turn politician stupider, And recollect the work is only fiction, If that can well be, than his wooden look. And that I sing of neither mine nor me, But it is time that I should hoist my “blue Though every scribe, in some slight turn Peter,"

of diction, And sail for a new theme: I have seen Will hint allusions never meant. Ne'er doubt

and shook

This-when I speak,I don't hint, but speak out. To see it, the King hiss’d, and then caress’d; But don't pretend to settle which was best.

Whether he married with the third or fourth

Offspring of some sage, husband-hunting I have seen the landholders without a rap

Countess, I have seen Johanna Southcote- I have seen Or whether with some virgin of more worth The House of Commons turn’d to a tax- (I mean in Fortune's matrimonial bounties)


He took to regularly peopling earth, I have seen that sad affair of the late Queen- of which your lawful awful wedlock I have seen crowns worn instead of a fool's

fount is сар

Or whether he was taken in for damages, I have seen a Congress doing all that's For being too excursive in his homages, I have seen some nations like o'erloaded

Is yet within the unread events of time. Kick off their burthens-meaning the high Thus far, go forth, thou Lay, which I will classes.

back Against the same given quantity of rhyme,

For being as much the subject of attack I have seen small poets, and great prosers,and As ever yet was any work sublime, Interminable - not eternal ---speakers By those who love to say that white is black. I have seen the Funds at war with house So much the better!- 1 may stand alone,

and land

But would not change my free thoughts for I've seen the Country-Gentlemen turn

a throne. squeakers I've seen the people ridden o'er like sand By slaves on horseback, I have seen malt

liquors Exchanged for “thin potations” by John Bull

CANTO XII. I have seen John half detect himself a


Of all the barbarous Middle Ages, that

Which is most barbarous is the middle age But “Carpe diem,” Juan, “Carpe, carpe!” of man; it is – I really scarce know what; To-morrow sees another race as gay

But when we hover between fool and And transient, and devour'd by the same

sage, harpy.

And don't know justly what we would be at“Life's a poor player ”—then “play out the A period something like a printed page,


Black letter upon foolscap, while our hair Ye villains!” and, above all, keep a sharp eye Grows grizzled, and we are not what we Much less on what you do than what you

were;say: Be hypocritical, be cautious, be Not what you seem, but always what you see. Too old for youth—too young, at thirty


To herd with boys, or hoard with good But how shall I relate in other Cantos

threescore, Of what befell our hero, in the land I wonder people should be left alive; Which 'tis the common cry and lie to But, since they are, that epoch is a bore:

vaunt as

Love lingers still, although 'twere late to A moral country? But I hold my hand

wive; For I disdain to write an Atalantis; And as for other love, the illusion's o'er; But 'tis as well at once to understand, And money, that most pure imagination, You are not a moral people, and you know it Gleams only through the dawn of its Without the aid of too sincere a poet.


base ;

Oh Gold! why call we misers miserable ? | Possess'd, the ore, of which mere hopes Theirs is the pleasure that can never pall;

allure Theirs is the best bower-anchor, the chain- Nations athwart the deep: the golden raye


Flash up in ingots from the mine obscure; Which holds fast other pleasures great and On him the diamond pours its brilliant blaze,


While the mild emerald's beam shades Ye who but see the saving man at table,

down the dyes And scorn his temperate board,as none at all, Of other stones, to soothe the miser's eyes. And wonder how the wealthy can be sparing, Know not what visions spring from each


The lands on either side are his: the ship
From Ceylon, Inde, or far Cathay, unloads

For him the fragrant produce of each trip; Love or lust makes man sick, and wine Beneath his cars of Ceres groan the roads,

much sicker; And the vine blushes like Aurora's lip; Ambition rends, and gaming gains a loss; His very cellars might be kings' abodes; But making money,slowly first, then quicker, While he, despising every sensual call, And adding still a little ihrough each cross Commands—the intellectual lord of all. (Which will come over things) beats love

or liquor, The gamester's counter, or the statesman's Perhaps he hath great projects in his mind,


To build a college, or to found a race, Oh Gold! I still prefer thee unto paper, An hospital, a church,—and leave behind Which makes bank-credit like a bark of Some dome surmounted by his meagre face:


Perhaps he fain would liberate mankind

Even with the very ore which makes them Who hold the balance of the world? Who Perhaps he would be wealthiest of his reign

nation, O'er Congress, whether royalist or liberal? Or revel in the joys of calculation. Who rouse the shirtless patriots of Spain ? (That make old Europe's journals squeak

and gibber all.) But whether all, or each, or none of these Who keep the world, both old and new, in May be the hoarder's principle of action,


The fool will call such mania a disease :Or pleasure? Who make politics run What is his own? Go-look at each transglibber all?

action, The shade of Bonaparte's noble daring? Wars, revels, loves – do these bring men Jew Rothschild, and his fellow Christian

Than the mere plodding through each “vul-

gar fraction?" Those, and the truly liberal Lafitte,

Or do they benefit mankind ? Lean miser! Are the true lords of Europe. Every loan Let spendthrifts' heirs enquire of yours

who's wiser ? Is not a merely speculative hit, Bat seats a nation or upsets a throne. Republics also get involved a bit; Columbia's stock hath holders not unknown How beauteous are rouleaus! how charmOn 'Change; and even thy silver-soil, Peru,

ing chests Must get itself disconted by a Jew.

Containing ingots, bags of dollars, coins
(Not of old Victors, all whose heads and crests

Weigh not the thin ore where their visage Why call the miser miserable? as

shines, I said before: the frugal life is his, But) of fine unclipp'd gold, where dully rests Which in a saint or cynic ever was Some likeness which the glittering cirque The theme of praise: a hermit would not miss

confines, Canonization for the self-same cause, Of modern, reigning, sterling, stupid stamp: And wherefore blame gaunt Wealth's auste- Yes! ready money is Aladdin's lamp.

rities? Because, you'll say, nought calls for such

a trial;

“Love rules the camp, the court, the grove,” Then there's more merit in his self-denial.

-“for Love Is Heaven, and Heaven is Love:”—80 sings

the bard ; He is your only poet; - passion, pure Which it were rather difficult to prove And sparkling on from heap to heap, displays, (A thing with poetry in general hard).

more ease

Perhaps there may be something in “the To me seems but a dubious kind of reed


To lean on for support in any way; At least it rhymes to "Love;" but I'm Since odds are that Posterity will know


No more of them, than they of her, I trow. To doubt (no less than landlords of their

rental) If "courts” and “camps” be quite so sen- Why, I'm Posterity—and so are you;


And whom do we remember? Not a hundred.
Were every memory written down all true,

The tenth or twentieth name would be but But if Love don't, Cash does, and Cash alone:

blunder'd: Cash rules the grove, and fells it too besides; Even Plutarch's Lives have but pick'd out Without cash, camps were thin, and courts

a few, were none;

And 'gainst those few your annalists have Without cash, Malthus tells you — "take no

thunder'd; brides.”

And Mitford, in the nineteenth century, So Cash rules Love the ruler, on his own Gives, with Greek truth, the good old Greek High ground, as Virgin Cynthia sways the

the lie. tides; And, as for “Heaven” being “Love,” why

not say honey Good people all, of every degree, Is wax ? Heaven is not Love, 'tis Matrimony. Ye gentle readers and ungentle writers,

In this twelfth Canto 'tis my wish to be

As serious as if I had for inditers Is not all love prohibited whatever, Malthus and Wilberforce:--the last set free Excepting marriage? which is love, no The Negroes, and is worth a million fighters;


While Wellington has but enslaved the After a sort; but somehow people never

whites, With the same thought the two words have And Malthus does the thing 'gainst which help'd out:.

he writes. Love may exist with marriage and should

ever, And marriage also may exist without; I'm serious - so are all men upon paper; But love sans banns is both a sin and shame, And why should I not form my speculation, And ought to go by quite another name. And hold up to the sun my little taper ?

Mankind just now seem wrapt in meditation

On Constitutions and Steam-boats of vapour; Now if the“court” and “camp” and “grove” While sages write against all procreation,

be not

Unless a man can calculate his means Recruited all with constant married men, Of feeding brats the moment his wife weans. Who never coveted their neighbour's lot, I say that line 's a lapsus of the pen;Strange too in my “buon camerado” Scott, That's noble! that's romantic! For my part, So celebrated for his morals, when I think that “Philo-genitiveness” isMy Jeffrey held him up as an example (Now here's a word quite after my own To me;- of which these morals are a sample.

heart, Though there's a shorter a good deal than

this, Well, if I don't succeed, I have succeeded, If that politeness set it not apart; And that's enough; succeeded in my youth, But I'm resolved to say nought that's amiss)The only time when much success is needed: 1 say, amethinks that “Philo-genitiveness” And my success produced what I in sooth Might meet from men a little more forCared most about; it need not now be

giveness. pleaded Whate'er it was, 'twas mine; l've paid, in


And now to business. Oh, my gentle Juan! Of late the penalty of such success, Thou art in London-in that pleasant place But have not learn'd to wish it any less. Where

kind of mischief 's daily


Which can await warm youth in its wild That suit in Chancery,—which some per

race. sons plead 'Tis true, that thy career is not a new one; In an appeal to the unborn, whom they, Thou art no novice in the headlong chase In the faith of their procreative creed, Of early life; but this is a new land Baptize Posterity, or future clay,

Which foreigners can never understand.

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