evening, "I have lost a day." They sat opposite to each other at lunch and dinner, reserved and silent. Like sensitive plants, they were afraid of being touched. The domestic atmosphere was darkened. The children did not enjoy their play, and stopped occasionally to see what was the matter. Nor did anything escape the notice of the servants, who have a fine tale to tell about the "awful temper of master and missis." It has been remarked that there are six "ifs," by any of which a stranger may know a man and woman to be husband and wife. These rules, it is said, are infallible in just interpretation. They inay be resorted to with confidence, as they are deduced from every-day experience. 1. If you see a gentleman and a lady disagree upon trifling occasions, or correcting each other in company, you may be assured they have tied the matrimonial noose. 2. If you see a silent pair in a hackney or any other coach, lolling carelessly one at each window, without seeming to know they have a companion, the sign is infallible. 3. If you see a lady drop her glove, and a gentleman by the side of her kindly telling her to pick it up, you need not hesitate in forming your opinion; or, 4. If you see a lady presenting a gentleman with anything carelessly, her head inclined another way, and speaking to him with indifference; or, 5. If you meet a couple in the fields, the gentleman twenty yards in advance of the lady, who perhaps is getting over a stile with difficulty, or picking her way through a muddy path; or, 6. If you see a gentleman particularly courteous, obliging, and good-natured, relaxing into smiles, saying smart things to every pretty woman in the room, excepting one, to whom he appears particularly reserved, cold, and formal, and is unreasonably cross-who that one is, nobody can be at a loss to discover. If we would be happy in married life, we must reverse such notes of "barbarous dissonance." When an exhortation is given after the wedding ceremony, it would be well if the clergyman were sometimes to take for his text, "Be courteous." If he be an observing man he will know that more coldness and estrangements, if not absolute quarrels and separations, grow out of a disregard of the common rules of courtesy in married life, than from almost any other cause. The wife gets up and goes off to give a direction to her servants while her husband is in the middle of a sentence; if he were any other gentleman she would at least say, "Excuse me for a moment." The wife comes into the room, and the husband sits still in his chair; if any other lady enters he rises and offers her one. If a guest is coming to the house, the lady of the house is dressed and at the door ready to receive him; if it is only her husband, she has no welcome. If a lady is at table as a guest, the gentleman brings some topic of social conversation to entertain her; if the wife is the only lady, he sits silent, or may even take a letter or a newspaper out of his pocket and read it to himself. How many divorces would be avoided if the advice of Governor Trumbull were taken, who, when a friend applied to him for advice about a divorce, asked, "How did you treat your wife when you were courting her?" "Why, I treated her as well as I could, for I loved her dearly." 66 Well," said the governor, go home and court her as you did then for a year, and come and tell me the result." At the year's end it was, "My wife and I are as happy as when we first married, and I mean to court her all the days of my life." Men are cautioned by the Jewish Talmud to be careful lest they cause women to weep, for "God counts their tears." Of course women may use their tears in an improper, cowardly manner to induce men to walk aside from the path of duty; and there are those who have recourse to melting moods to gain a mastery over good-natured, weak-minded husbands. They have waterworks in their heads, and can turn the tap on when they like. But we have not been referring to selfish sighs, and made-to-order woe of this kind, which need not, and ought not to be regarded. If these crocodile-tears are counted by God, we may be sure that they count against the woman who can so far abuse her "irresistible might of weakness." Husbands who are gentlemen in feeling will recognize the necessity of obeying some such maxims as the following, which also, by implication, suggest a code of manners for the wife who desires to be a lady in her home as well as abroad. Do not jest with your wife upon a subject in which there is danger of wounding her feelings. Do not speak of great virtues in another man's wife to remind your own of a fault. Do not treat your wife with inattention in company, or upbraid her in the presence of a third party. Do not entertain your wife by praising the beauty and accomplishments of other women. If you would have a pleasant home and a cheerful wife, pass your evenings under your own roof. Do not be stern and silent in your own house, and remarkable for sociability elsewhere. He is the wisest head of a house who rules without being felt to rule. He must not be weak, for that means misery to all concerned, but his firmness should work by love, and be only used for good purposes. And this sort of government, by persuasion rather than by force, is not only most constitutional, but the best policy. In reference to the management of women, one of Shakespeare's heroines suggests the easiest and most successful method. "You may ride us With one soft kiss a thousand furlongs, ere With spur we heat an acre." A woman, it has been said, is like tar-only melt her, and she will take any form you please. We know, of course, that there never was a wife of a waspish disposition; but if ever such a phenomenon should appear, let her husband remember that " more wasps are caught by honey than by vinegar." A husband said to his wife, "Now, wife, you know I am at the head of the house." "Well," said she, "you can be at the head if you wish; I am the neck." "Yes," he said, "you shall be the neck." "But, don't you know," said she, "the neck turns the head?" It is amusing to hear some men boast of their government at home. One of this class in the absence of his wife invited some gentlemen friends to spend an evening with him. The conversation turned on the marriage relation, when the host boasted, "I am master in my house. I do not believe in woman's ruling-I do as I please, and I make my wife submit to my rule-I am a regular Julius Cæsar in my house." Just then the wife came in, and said, "Gentlemen, you had better go home, and Julius Cæsar will just walk right upstairs along with me." Was not this man right to submit to his wife's rule when she was ordering what was really best for him? A bankrupt merchant returned home one night and said to his wife, "My dear, I am ruined; everything we have is in the hands of the sheriff." After a few moments of silence, his noble wife, looking him calmly in the face, said, “Will the sheriff sell you?" "No." "Will he sell me?" "No." "Then don't say we have lost everything. All that is most profitable to us, manhood, womanhood, remains; we have but lost the result of our skill and industry; we may make another fortune if our hearts and hands are left to us." If men and women would take as much pains to hold each other as they do to catch each other, there would be fewer unhappy marriages. "And if the husband or the wife In home's strong light discovers Why need we care to ask?-who dreams Or wonders that the truest steel The readiest spark discloses ? |