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I' the Cockboat, 'cause you are a Saylors wife ?
And come from Shadwell? I say a remora :
For it will stay a Ship, that's under Saile !
And staies are long, and tedious things to Maids !
And maidens are young ships, that would be sailing,
When they be rigg'd: wherefore is all their trim else ?
Nee. True; and for them to be staid - Pol. The
stay is dangerous : You know it Mrs. Needle. Nee. I know somewhat: 35 And can assure you, from Doctors mouth, Shee has a Dropsie; and inust change the ayre, Before she can recover. Pol. Say you so, Sir ?
Nee. The Doctor saies so. Pol. Sayes his worship so?
I warrant 'hem he sayes true, then ; they sometimes
Are Sooth-layers, and alwayes cunning inen.
Which Doctor was it? Nee. Eeene my Ladies Doctor :
The neat house-Doctor : But a true stone-Doctor.
Pol. Why? heare you, Nurse? How comes this
geare to passe ?
This is your fault in truth : It shall be your fault,
And must be your fault: why is your Mistris ficke ?
Shee had her health, the while shee was with me.
Kee. Alas good Mistris Polish, I am no Saint,
Much lesse, my Lady, to be urg'd give health,
Or sicknesse at my will : but to awaite
The starres good pleasure, and to doe my duty.
Pol. You must doe more then your dutie, foolish Nurse :
You must doe all you can; and more then you can,
More then is possible : when folkes are sick,
Especially, a Mistris; a young Mistris.
Kee. Here's Mr. Doctor himselfe, cannot doe that
Pol. Doctor Doo-all can doe it. Thence he's callid so.
29 Shadwell ? [Enter Needle] G 35 Mrs.] Mr. 1692, f 56 (Exit. G Enter lady Loadstone and Rut. G
Act II. Scene W.
Rut. Polish. Lady. Keepe. Placentia.
Rut. Whence ? what's hee callid ? Pol. Doctor,
doe all you can,
I pray you, and beseech you, for my charge, here.
Lad. She's my tendring Gossip, loves my Neice.
Pol. I know you can doe all things, what you please,
Sir, 5 For a young Damsel, my good Ladies Neice, here ! You can doe what you list. Rut. Peace Tiffany.
Pol. Especially in this new case o' the Dropsie. The Gentlewoman (I doe feare) is leven'd. Rut. Leven'd ? what's that ? Pol. Puft, blowne,
and't please your worship 10 Rut. What! Darke, by darker ? What is blowne ?
puff'd, Speake English-Pol. Tainted (and't please you) some doe call it. She swels, and swels so with it.—Rut. Give her vent, If shee doe swel. A Gimblet must be had :
It is a Tympanites she is troubled with;
15 There are three kinds : The first is Ana-larca
Vnder the Flesh, a Tumor: that's not hers.
The second is Ascites, or Aquosus,
A watry humour: that's not hers neither.
But Tympanites (which we call the Drum)
20 A wind bombes in her belly, must be unbrac'd,
And with a Faucet, or a Peg, let out,
And she'll doe well : get her a husband. Pol. Yes,
I say so Mr. Doctor, and betimes too. Lad. As
Soone as wee can : let her beare up to day,
25 Laugh, and keepe company, at Gleeke, or Crimpe.
Act... Placentia.] om. G 12 swels so] so swels 1716, f 23, 24 I say so, master doctor, and betimes too. / Lady L. As soon as we can: let her bear up to-day, G
Pol. Your Ladiship sayes right, Crimpe, sure, will
cure her. Rut. Yes, and Gleeke, too; peace Gossip Tittle-Tattle, Shee must to morrow, downe into the Countrey, Some twenty mile; A Coach, and six brave Horses : Take the fresh aire, a moneth there, or five weekes : 30 And then returne a Bride, up to the Towne, For any husband i' the Hemisphere, To chuck at; when she has dropt her Timpane. Pol. Must she then drop it ? Rut. Thence, 'tis call'd
a Dropsie. The Timpanites is one spice of it; A toy, a thing of nothing, a meere vapour : Ile blow't away. Lad. Needle, get you the Coach Ready, against to morrow morning. Nee. Yes Madam. Lad. Ile downe with her my selfe, and thanke the
Pol. Wee all shall thanke him. But, deare Madam, 40
Resolve upon a man, this day. Lad. I ha' done't.
To tell you true (sweet Gossip ;) here is none
But Master Doctor, hee shall be o' the Counsell :
The man I have design'd her to, indeed,
Is Master Practise : he's a neat young man,
Forward, and growing up, in a profession!
Like to be some body, if the Hall stand!
And Pleading hold! A prime young Lawyers wife,
Is a right happy fortune. Rut. And shee bringing
So plentifull a portion, they may live
Like King, and Queene, at common Law together!
Sway Judges ; guide the Courts; command the Clarkes ;
And fright the Evidence; rule at their pleasures,
Like petty Soveraignes in all cases. Pol. O, that
55 Will be a worke of time; she may be old
Before her husband rise to a chiefe Judge ;
And all her flower be gone: No, no, a Lady
O'the first head I'ld have her; and in Court:
The Lady Silk-worme, a Diaphanous Lady:
60 And be a Vi-countesse to carry all
Before her (as wee say) her Gentleman-usher :
And cast off Pages, bare, to bid her Aunt
Welcome unto her honour, at her lodgings.
Rut. You say well, Ladies Gossip; if my Lady
65 Could admit that, to have her Neice precede her.
Lad. For that, I must consult mine owne Ambition,
My zealous Gossip. Pol. O, you shall precede her:
You shall be a Countesse! Sir Diaphanous,
Shall get you made a Countesse! Here he comes;
70 Has my voice certaine : 0 fine Courtier !
O blessed man! the bravery prick’t out,
To make my dainty charge, a Vi-countesse!
And my good Lady, her Aunt, Countesse at large !
Act II. Scene IIII.
Dia. I tell thee Parlon, if I get her, reckon
Thou hast a friend in Court; and shalt command
A thousand pound, to goe on any errand,
For any Church preferment thou hast a mind too.
5 Pal. I thanke your worship: I will so work for you,
As you shall study all the wayes to thanke me :
Ile worke my Lady, and my Ladies friends;
Her Gossip, and this Doctor; and Squire Needle,
And Mr. Compasse, who is all in all :
70 certaine :) Enter behind sir Diaphanous Silkworm and Palate, in discourse. G Act ... Palate.] om. G 4 too.] to 1692, f
The very Fly shee moves by: Hee is one
That went to Sea with her husband, Sir Iohn Loadstone,
And brought home the rich prizes : all that wealth
Is left her; for which service she respects him :
A dainty Scholler in the Mathematicks;
And one shee wholly imployes. Now Dominus Practise 15
Is yet the man (appointed by her Ladiship)
But there's a trick to set his cap awry:
If I know any thing; hee hath confest
To me in private, that hee loves another,
My Ladies woman, Mrs. Pleasance : therefore
Secure you of Rivalship. Dia. I thanke thee
My noble Parlon: There's five hundred pound
Waites on thee more for that. Pal. Accoast the Neice:
Yonder shee walkes alone : Ile move the Aunt:
But here's the Gollip: shee expects a morsell.
Ha' you nere a Ring, or toy to throw away ?
Dia. Yes, here's a Diamont of some threescore pound,
I pray you give her that. Pal. If shee will take it.
Dia. And there's an Emerauld, for the Doctor too :
Thou Parson, thou shalt coine me: I am thine.
Pal. Here Mr.Compasse comes : Doe you see my Lady?
And all the rest ? how they doe flutter about him !
Hee is the Oracle of the house, and family!
Now, is your time : goe nick it with the Neice :
I will walke by; and hearken how the Chimes goe. 35
Act II. Scene V.
Com. Nay Parson, stand not off; you may approach:
This is no such hid point of State, wee handle,
31 comes : Enter Compass. G
34 [Exit Sir Dia. G 35 (Walks aside. G Act ... Compalle.) om. G