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The eye-glass came up as calmly, as deliberately as ever. "Ah - Ferguson what did I understand you to say the gentleman's name was?"

"Name? my!"

"Yes, yes.

- he got no name! - Mummy!-'Gyptian mum

Born here?"

"No! 'Gyptian mummy!

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"Ah, just so. Frenchman, I presume."

"No!

not Frenchman, not Roman! - born in Egypta ! "Born in Egypta. Never heard of Egypta before. Foreign locality, likely. Mummy mummy. How calm he is - how self-possessed. Is, ah is he dead?"

66

'Oh, sacre bleu ! been dead three thousand years!"

The doctor turned on him savagely: "Here, now, what do mean by such conduct as this! Playing us for Chinamen because we are strangers and trying to learn! Trying to impose your vile second-hand carcasses on us! thunder and lightning. I've a notion to to if you've got a nice fresh corpse, fetch him out! or, by George, we 'll brain you!

We make it exceedingly interesting for this Frenchman. However, he has paid us back, partly, without knowing it. He came to the hotel this morning to ask if we were up, and he endeavored as well as he could to describe us, so that the landlord would know which persons he meant. He finished with the casual remark that we were lunatics. The observation was so innocent, and so honest, that it amounted to a very good thing for a guide to say.

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Samuel L. Clemens.

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Said Mr. Bray to Mr. Clay,

"You choose to rival me,

And court Miss Bell; but there your court
No thoroughfare shall be.

"Unless you now give up your suit,

You may repent your love;
I, who have shot a pigeon match,
Can shoot a turtle dove.

"So, pray, before you woo her more,
Consider what you do:

If you pop aught to Lucy Bell,

I'll pop it into you."

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But first they found a friend apiece,

This pleasant thought to give

That when they both were dead, they'd have Two seconds yet to live.

To measure out the ground, not long

The seconds next forbore;

And having taken one rash step,

They took a dozen more.

They next prepared each pistol pan.
Against the deadly strife;
By putting in the prime of death,
Against the prime of life.

Now all was ready for the foes;

But when they took their stands, Fear made them tremble so, they found They both were shaking hands.

Said Mr. C. to Mr. B.,

"Here one of us must fall, And, like St. Paul's Cathedral now,

Be doomed to have a ball.

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MUSIC FOR THE MILLION

AMONGST the great inventions of this age,

Is one,

Which every other century surpasses,

- just now the rage,

Called "Singing for all classes,"

That now, alas! have no more ear than asses,
To learn to warble like the birds in June

In time and tune,

Correct as clocks, and musical as glasses!

Whether this grand harmonic scheme
Will ever get beyond a dream,
And tend to British happiness and glory,
May be no, and may be yes,

Is more than I pretend to guess -
However here's my story.

T. Hood

In one of those small, quiet streets,
Where business retreats,

To shun the daily bustle and the noise
The shoppy Strand enjoys,

But land, joint-companies, and life-insurance
Find past endurance

In one of these back streets, to peace so dear,
The other day a ragged wight

Began to sing with all his might,

"I have a silent sorrow here!"

Heard in that quiet place,
Devoted to a still and studious race,
The noise was quite appalling!
To seek a fitting simile, and spin it,
Appropriate to his calling,

His voice had all Lablache's body, in it;
But oh the scientific tone it lacked,
And was in fact

Only a forty-boatswain power of bawling!

'T was said indeed for want of vocal nous

The stage had banished him when he 'tempted it, For though his voice completely filled the house, It also emptied it. However, there he stood Vociferous a ragged don!

And with his iron pipes laid on

A row to all the neighborhood.

In vain were sashes closed,

And doors against the persevering Stentor;
Though brick and glass, and solid oak opposed,
The intruding voice would enter,
Heedless of ceremonial or decorum,
Den, office, parlor, study, and sanctorum ;
Where clients and attorneys, rogues and fools,
Ladies, and masters who attend the schools,
Clerks, agents all provided with their tools,

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