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TRAVELLING ODDITIES.

THERE is nothing that more particularly
distinguishes an Englishman from the various
continental people he designs to visit, than
the peculiar manners he adopts in regard to
himself, his countrymen, and foreigners, when
on his travels. Í say peculiar, because in
England he adheres to some standard rule of
conduct in relation to others, as to himself;
he feels himself bound by the received laws
of society at home, which he might not pre-
sume to infringe without being subject to re-
monstrance, reproach, or punishment; but,
no sooner does he tread a stranger soil, than
the admiration of England as a nation, yet so
largely accorded by foreigners, and which in-
duces respect to an individual belonging to it
their generous and patient indulgence of
British bizarrerie-or their willingness to be
amused at our expense-are received by our
compatriots as tokens of the submission of the
natives in general, and the superiority of the
traveller in particular. "The Halps is be-
fore us, and the Halps is behind us and
God be good to us!" was the melancholy ob-
servation a bulky, but faint-hearted English
female made me, as, on a morning of Sep-
tember, we crowded round a blazing fire in
the snow-covered and elevated village of Saint
Laurent, at the hospitable hotel of old Besson
(the warmest-hearted Frenchman who ever
breathed; and who has now breathed his last
to y sorrow-for he was ever kind, most
disinterestedly kind, to the traveller and way-
farer). "We gets, Sir, as Crookback says,
into the bowels of the land: and here we is,
exposed to French and Swish, and wolves,
and wind." She continued, "Oh, if ever I
gets back to Lunnun-if I goes a travelling
again
I will not conclude with the
Fitz Hannible asseveration of the affrighted
dame but, at length, my assurances did
something-the goutte of brandy with which
she flavoured her coffee, did more, far more
-in appeasing the troubles of her spirit.

"I have
ready," observed a friend of
mine to me once, as our voiture slowly toiled
up the wood-covered hills leading to Poggi-
bonzi, in Tuscany, as the rich and cheering
glow of evening filled an Italian sky-"I
have it ready.' "What?" I exclaimed.
"It is cocked; and, as you know the country
better than I do, tell me when to fire."
"Fire! at what?" "At the postillion, to
be sure; he shall go first, that I swear: the
confounded villain!" "In Heaven's name,
what has he done?" "He has been making
signals with his whip, for the last half-hour,
to his accomplices; he has us, that is clear;
but I am resolved to die game." The pos-
tillion, wearied with a hard day's toil (for
the Emperor of Austria's being on the road
had prevented our procuring a relay of horses),
had, as he slowly paced by the carriage, been

cracking his whip at the fire-flies which had begun to appear, and his sport was construed thus into indications of murder and assassination. He was thinking of his wearied beasts and their expected provender, and his own homely supper, and his glass of purple Ronciglione, and a kiss from his brunetta; and about as much of ourselves as we of Lord Londonderry, or the Lord knows who.

It was at the commencement of the peace of 1814, that a young Englishman (the clerk in a counting-house abroad) resolved to cross the Continent to Great Britain; and, having procured (haply at quarter-price) the faded coat and epaulettes of one of our general officers, armed with a huge cocked hat, a pair of pistols, and the quantum sufficit of his employer's doubloons to complete his mercantile mission, resolved, in a fit of ardour, inspired by his investiture in military harness, to post it alone through Switzerland and France. He was tall, lanky, thin, pale, and effeminate; but had taken up the idea that he was the prototype of the "Great Captain," in so far as nature was concerned in his form and features; the said "Great Captain' being the humble copy of this singularly favoured original. Sash and sword, and spurs, and stock, and long boots, not forgetting the Prussian plume, were all enlisted as aids to the traveller's free passage through the unmilitary nations of the Continent. It was in vain that his pointed beaver broke the front glass of the vehicle at intervals; that his Prussian plume was broken, or reduced to half-pay; that the spurs made most inhuman havoc about the ankle bones; that the stock nearly choked him beneath a burning sun; that the epaulettes most awkwardly imitated the attempts of a well-fed crow to leave this world; and that the insinuations of the sword produced frequent and fearful greetings of him and his armour with mother earth;-on he went, self-satisfied and exulting-Mi-Lord-ed and Mon-General-ed, quizzed, laughed at, and mocked at-swearing and puffing, and paying as he went-the self-imagined representative of Britain's glory, the future conqueror of Buonaparteuntil he resigned his pride and dignity in the delivery of protested bills, invoices, and the orders of his principals to their bale-concocting correspondents in London.

These are, with the exception of the female, your determined but distrustful travellers; but there is another class-the dandy voyageurs of Britain, who, teeming with the proud consciousness of their excellence in comparison with the rest of human kind, swoln with self-sufficiency, float like empty bubbles on the water's surface, and who seem as if they would break and be dissolved by contact with a vulgar touch. They contrive to swim by means of their air-blown vanity until they come into concussion with some material object, and are at once reduced to

their proper level, and for ever annihilated. Their country is London; their domicile Regent-street; thence they would never travel, had they their wills-not but that they would like to see Paris, and move at Longschamps, or admire its beauties in an equipage à d'Anmont; but the horrors attendant upon such an enterprise are too formidable gratuitously to be encountered. It is only when a dip at the Fishmonger's has been rather too often tried, or Stultz's billets-dour have been repeated with increasing ardour on the part of the Tailor-lover, until he delegates the maintenance of his baronial purse to some dandydetesting attorney, that they feel it expedient to brave the dangers of sea and land, and, unscrewing their brass spurs, folding up their mustachios in a portefeuille, they hasten them from life, and love, and London, and set them down at Meurice's, the creatures of another element: not less new to all things around them, than all things there are new to them. There let me leave my dandy for a moment, to return, ere I am too distant from the shores of England, to his spurs of brass. It was Colonel O'S- as honest an Irishman and as brave a soldier as ever trod the earth, who, returning from the Continent after having seen hard and unremitted service in Portugal, Spain, France, and Canada-thence transferred to Waterloo, and afterwards attached for years to the army of occupation in France-on his return to London, and revisiting Bond-street, was astonished and somewhat annoyed by the clattering of the loose long spurs with which the pupils of mercers, haberdashers, tailors, and other gentlemen of similar rank and fashion, mimicking a military style, paraded that classical pavement. He was annoyed-for he was an unaffected man and a gallant soldier: and when such an one throws off his harness and puts on Mufti, he proclaims not his past services by his heels, but is only to be recognised by his erect bearing, his weather-beaten countenance, the reserve of manner which indicates one out of his proper sphere-and where a white cravat is too expensive (and too often that is the case), by his black stock, which, if he could, he would willingly put aside. What a strange fancy was that of the Duke of Wellington, never to wear one, until la cravatte blanche was as well known to the French as the petit caporal himself. "Now just please to inform me," said the colonel to a friend, "whether it be to kape a proper balance that, not content with the brass they have in their heads, they have just clapped a pound or two of it at their heels? Och! and by the Powers; but I will give them enough of it-Just step in here to Staavens's with me, and I will make ready in the fixing of a bayonet." In a short time the colonel reappeared with two monstrous brass candlesticks, elegantly attached by cord to his feet; and, taking his friend by

the arm, leisurely perambulated the pavé, rivalling in sound, as he went, the very silver kettledrums of the Blues, and attracting notice from all on foot, on horseback, or in coach. In vain the spur-bearing dandies scowled, and muttered their deep displeasure; they, like the citizen robbed by a footpad in Bunbury's print, thought the candlesticks looked very like pistols, and they gradually slunk away, leaving the colonel and candlesticks in full possession of the field. But to return to my dandy: it was not long since I met one at the table d'hote of Mr. Money, the hospitable but expensive owner of Les Trois Couronnes, at Vevay, in Switzerland. A large party had assembled, composed of almost every European nation; and we had just commenced our dinner, when we were intruded upon by an Exquisite--a creature something between the human species and a man-milliner-a seven months' child of fashion-one who had been left an orphan by manliness and taste, and no longer remembered his lost parents. Never can I forget the state of Baron Pougens (a Swiss by birth, but a Russian noble), as this specimen of elegance, with mincing step and gait, moved onward, something like a new member tripping it to the table to take his oaths. How he had got so far from Grainge's, I really cannot say; but he had the policy of assurance in his favour: and in his own idea, at the least, was what I heard a poor devil of a candle-snuffer once denominate George Frederic Cooke, the tragedian-"a rare specimen of exalted humanity;" and the actor was certainly in a rare spirit of exaltation at the moment. His delicate frame was enveloped by a dandy harness, so admirably ordered and adjusted, that he moved in fear of involving his Stultz in the danger of a plait; his kid-clad fingers scarcely supported the weight of his yellow-lined Leghorn; all that was man about him, was in his spurs and mustachios; and even with them, he seemed there a moth exposed to an Alpine blastsome mamma's darling, injudiciously and cruelly abandoned to the risk of cold, in a land where Savory and Moore were yet unheard of, "Beppo in London" wholly unknown, Hoby unesteemed, Gunter misprised, and where George Brummell had never, never trod.

After having bestowed a wild inexpressive stare at the cannibals assembled, male and female-depositing his Vyse, running his digits through his perfumed hair, raising his shirt-collar so as to form an angle of forty-five with his purple Gros-de-Naples cravat, and applying his gold-turned snuffbox to his nose, Money (who has lived long in England, and speaks its language well) ventured to address him, by demanding if he should place a cover for him. "Sar!-your appellation-if-you please?" the drawling and affected response of the fop. "Money, Sir." "And the sign of the place-the

venture on the Jew.-Not bad, by LongMem Dancing Jews in sauce capitalmention that to young G―, of the Tenth." The business of mastication arrested for a moment the sapient remarks of the Impayable, until our notice was again attracted by his leaping from his chair, and cutting divers capers around the room, which, if they did honour to his agility, harmonized but ill with the precisian starchness of his habiliments, the order whereof was grievously derangé by his antics.-" Water! Water! Crowns.-I bave emptied the vinegar cruet by mistake-Oh Lud! can scarcely breathe

Water! Crowns, water! in mercy." "It was the Vin du Pays, I assure you, Sirnothing else upon my word." "Water! water! oh-here-here I have it." "No, Sir, I beg—that is Eau de Cerises-Kirschen wasser-Cherry water."-" Any-any water will do,"-and, ere Money could arrest his hand, the water-sembling but fiery fluid, the ardent spirit of the cherry, had been swallowed at a draught. He gaped and gasped for breath-he groaned and writhed in torment-and, borne out in the arms of Crowns and his men, the spirit-stirring Dandy was removed to bed, whence he arose to return, without delay, to London by the shortest possible road, even with the fear of another, fieri facias before his eyes, to descant on vinous acidities, Gin Lakes, and the liverconsuming Spa of Vo.

thing-the auberge ?" "The Three Crowns, mean exactly to starve, I fear I must even Sir." Money of the country, I presume! -Good-stop-put-that down-Mem: " and he took his tablets from his pocket. "Money-Three Crowns-Capital thatwill do for Dibdin-if not, give it to Theodore Hook. And the name of your-your town, my man?" "Vevay, Sir!" "And that liquid concern I see from the windar?" "The Lake, Sir-the Lake of Geneva." "Good gracious! all Geneva ?" "Otherwise termed the Leman, Sir." "Lemon! ha! a sort of ginpunch, I presume-acidulated blue ruinVastly vulgar, by Petersham-only fit for the Cider-cellar, Three Crowns-And thatthat-white thing there on the other side of the punch-bowl, Money?" "This is Gingoulph, Sir." "Gin-gulp! appropriate certainly, but de-ci-ded-ly-low." "Will you please, Sir, to dine? dinner is on the table." "Dinnar! Crockford, be good to us!-Why-why-it is scarcely more than noon, Crowns.-What would Lady Diana say?-But true! I rose at eight-so, I think, I will patronize you, my good fellarLong journey that from Lowsan-queer name for a place so high-Vastly bad country this of yours, Crowns.-What are all those stunted poles, like cerceau sticks, placed in the ground? What do you cultivate, Crowns?" "The vine, Sir." "Wine! wine! dear me! never knew wine grew before. In England it is a manufactory. One moment-pardon-Mem:-Wine grows inin-" "The Canton de Vaud, Sir." "In But there is a hardier, bolder, more prethe Canton de Vo-Tell that to Carbonel suming race of juvenile fats, who are the and Charles Wright when I go back. Is it more offensive as they are the more intrusive. port, pray?" "No, Sir, a thin white wine." It was but a few days after my rencontre "Thin-white-wine-runs up sticks in with the last exquisite I have named, that, said Vo." "Will you permit me to help dining at the Hotel d'Angleterre, at Lauyou, Sir?" demanded Money rather im- sanne, the door flew open with a crash, which patiently. "What have you, may I ask?" made us all start from our seats; and we "Bouilli, Sir." "Bull what? have you no turned, half affrightedly, to observe who had other beef?-Mem: people living near thus rudely disturbed the repose of refection; punch-bowl eat bull beef." "There is a but we readopted our places in prudent very nice culotte, Sir, if you prefer it." silence, as a youth, fierce of aspect, of mili"Cu-what, Three Crowns? Culotte! tary port, brass forehead and brass heels, a why, in France, that is-is-inexpressibles- profusion of rough dark hair, streaming Mem: eat inexpressibles roasted-Breaches like a meteor," and which would have terof taste, by Reay-the savages!—that will rified the graceful locks of Lord Ellendo for the Bedford-mention it to Joy-the borough from their propriety, stamped into brutes!-Neither bull nor breeches, thank the room, and without noticing the females you inexpressibly, Money." " A Blanquette present, and merely casting a look of scorn de Veau, then, if you like." "Blanket de and of contempt at our really well-furnished Vo! a cover to lay, indeed, Crowns. Mem: table, advanced in ordinary time to the inhabitants of Gin stew blankets of the glass, each step shaking the crystal on the country, and then eat them-the Alsatians!" table like the marble tread of the granite "Poultry, Sir, if you desire it." "Ah! spectre in Don Juan. Having regarded some hopes there, Money-What is that you himself with a fierce but somewhat comhold?" "A Poularde, Sir." "Obliged, placent look, he broke out into the following Crowns-no Pull-hard, thank you; devilish soliloquy:-" Vile place, by Jupiter!tough, I doubt-Mem: Fowl called Pull- Lots of English though-Papers dull as a hard at Gin-Try again, my man." "A London Sunday-Duke of Cambridge ill, Dindon and dans son jus, Sir." Ding they say-poor Duke!-Sir William Knighdong and a dancing Jew!-sort of stewed ton gone to the Continent-extremely odd Rothschild, I suppose-Well! if I don't that-Visit to the Viceroy all humbug

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Gone to fight the Duke of Brunswickprecious trump that same Brunswicktroublesome chap!-Hate this country most decidedly-have paid my bill, and DI O my motto Brutal set these Swiss - William Tell all fudge-no such man ever existed.Don't you think so, Ma'am ?" he observed, in half turning to address a lady, who, during the operation of self-admiration, had caught his eye, as her figure stood 'reflected in the glass. "I have the honour to be a native of the country, Sir,' was the reply. "Indeed!" with a mingled look of compassion and contempt, drawled out the puppy"extremely sorry for you, upon my honour." We were excessively annoyed by the real or affected ruffianism of this mongrel; but a gentleman present, who had been for some time eyeing him with curiosity, presumed to observe, "that he greatly feared we had intruded into his apartment."-" Sar!" with a withering stare through his lorgnette, was the only notice this suggestion received from its object. The gentleman, unintimidated, however, proceeded in stating that he believed he had seen the intruder before."Much the advantage of me, 'pon honour," said the beau with a bitter sneer. "I will be plain with you, Sir," continued the other; "it was but lately that I was dining at Dole, in Franche Comté, when three persons placed themselves at our table d'hote, one of them a female (an itinerant actress, I presume); the others, in conformity to general usage, I shall denominate men. The conversation of the new comers soon obliged all the other females to retreat from the room. The diligence was announced as departing at the same moment, or I should have presumed to have given a lesson to one of the offending parties, which it may not yet be too late to afford." Having gradually sidled to the door during this oration, as the gentleman terminated his address, the discomfited exquisite hesitated not to dart from the room with admirable speed; and once quit of his offensive presence, somewhat of curiosity remained in us as to who or what he might be."Un chevalier Anglais," aid the waiting-maid as she left the room; but she soon returned with something she said the chevalier had left behind him in his basty farewell. It resembled a large portefeuille, but slipping from her fingers, while the grasped one end, the other by regularly descending evolutions marvellously extended self. It was a book of patterns! long cloths and broad, merinos and kerseymeres; erincing that the chevalier united business pleasure in his travels; and, notwithstanding his rank, did not disdain to be usein procuring a more extended consumpon on the Continent of the manufactures of is native country.-New Monthly Mag.

DIRGE.

TO THE MEMORY OF MISS ELLEN GEE, OF KEW, WHO DIED IN CONSEQUENCE OF BEING STUNG IN THE EYE.

PEERLESS, yet hapless maid of Q!
Acomplish'd LNG!
Never again shall I and U
Together sip our T.

For ah! the Fates! I know not Y,
Sent 'midst the flowers a B,
Which ven mous stung her in the I,
So that she could not C.

LN exclaim'd, "Vile spiteful B!
If ever I catch U

On jes'mine, rosebud, or sweet P,
I'll change your stinging Q.

"I'll send you like a lamb or U,
Across the Atlantic C,

From our delightful village Q,
To distant OYE,

"A stream runs from my wounded I, Salt as the briny C,

As rapid as the X or Y;
The 010, or D.

"Then fare thee ill insensate B!

Who stung, nor yet knew Y:
Since, not for wealthy Durham C
Would I have lost my 1."

They bear with tears fair LNG
In funeral RA,

A clay-cold corse now doom'd to B,
Whilst I mourn her DK.

Ye nymphs of Q, then shun each B,
List to the reason Y!
For should a BCU at T,

He'll surely sting your 1.
Now in a grave L deep in Q,

She's cold as cold can be; Whilst robins sing upon a U,

Her dirge and LEG.—New Monthly Mag.

EXPERIMENT ON THE HUMAN BODY.

AN experiment to ascertain the degree of heat it is possible for man to bear, was lately made at the New Tivoli, at Paris, in the presence of a company of about 200 persons, amongst whom were many professors, savans, and physiologists, who had been specially invited to attend by the physician Robertson, director of that establishment. The man on whom the experiment was made is a Spaniard of Andalusia, named Martinez, aged 43. A cylindrical oven in the shape of a dome had been heated for four hours by a very powerful fire. At ten minutes past eight the Spaniard, having on large pantaloons of red flannel, a thick cloak also of flannel, and a large felt, after the fashion of straw hats, went into the oven, where he re

mean exactly to starve, I fear I must even
venture on the Jew.-Not bad, by Long-
Mem Dancing Jews in sauce capital-
mention that to young G, of the Tenth."
The business of mastication arrested for a
moment the sapient remarks of the Impay-
able, until our notice was again attracted
by his leaping from his chair, and cutting
divers capers around the room, which, if
they did honour to his agility, harmonized
but ill with the precisian starchness of his
babiliments, the order whereof was grievously
derangé by his antics.-" Water! Water!
Crowns.-I bave emptied the vinegar cruet
by mistake-Oh Lud! can scarcely breathe
Water! Crowns, water! in mercy."
"It
was the Vin du Pays, I assure you, Sir-
nothing else upon my word."
"Water!
water! oh-here-here I have it."
"No,
Sir, I beg—that is Eau de Cerises-Kirschen
wasser-Cherry water."-" Any-any water
will do,"-and, ere Money could arrest his
hand, the water-sembling but fiery fluid, the
ardent spirit of the cherry, had been swal-
lowed at a draught. He gaped and gasped
for breath-he groaned and writhed in tor-
ment-and, borne out in the arms of Crowns
and his men, the spirit-stirring Dandy was
removed to bed, whence he arose to return,
without delay, to London by the shortest
possible road, even with the fear of another,
fieri facias before his eyes, to descant on
vinous acidities, Gin Lakes, and the liver-
consuming Spa of Vo.

thing-the auberge ?” “The Three Crowns, Sir." "Money of the country, I presume! -Good-stop-put-that down-Mem: and he took his tablets from his pocket. "Money-Three Crowns-Capital thatwill do for Dibdin-if not, give it to Theodore Hook. And the name of your-your town, my man?" "Vevay, Sir!"" And that liquid concern I see from the windar?" "The Lake, Sir-the Lake of Genera." "Good gracious! all Geneva?" "Otherwise termed the Leman, Sir." "Lemon! ha! a sort of ginpunch, I presume-acidulated blue ruinVastly vulgar, by Petersham-only fit for the Cider-cellar, Three Crowns-And thatthat-white thing there on the other side of the punch-bowl, Money?" "This is Gingoulph, Sir." "Gin-gulp! appropriate certainly, but de-ci-ded-ly-low." "Will you please, Sir, to dine? dinner is on the table.' "Dinnar! Crockford, be good to us!-Why-why-it is scarcely more than noon, Crowns.-What would Lady Diana say?-But true! I rose at eight-so, I think, I will patronize you, my good fellarLong journey that from Lowsan-queer name for a place so high-Vastly bad country this of yours, Crowns.-What are all those stunted poles, like cerceau sticks, placed in the ground? What do you cultivate, Crowns?" "The vine, Sir." "Wine! wine! dear me! never knew wine grew before. In England it is a manufactory. One moment-pardon-Mem:-Wine grows in in-" "The Canton de Vaud, Sir." "In But there is a hardier, bolder, more prethe Canton de Vo-Tell that to Carbonel suming race of juvenile fats, who are the and Charles Wright when I go back. Is it more offensive as they are the more intrusive. port, pray?" "No, Sir, a thin white wine." It was but a few days after my rencontre "Thin-white-wine-runs up sticks in with the last exquisite I have named, that, said Vo." "Will you permit me to help dining at the Hotel d'Angleterre, at Lauyou, Sir?" demanded Money rather im- sanne, the door flew open with a crash, which patiently. "What have you, may I ask?" made us all start from our seats; and we "Bouilli, Sir." "Bull what? have you no turned, half affrightedly, to observe who had other beef?-Mem: people living near thus rudely disturbed the repose of refection; punch-bowl eat bull beef." "There is a but we readopted our places in prudent very nice culotte, Sir, if you prefer it." silence, as a youth, fierce of aspect, of mili"Cu-what, Three Crowns? Culotte! tary port, brass forehead and brass heels, a why, in France, that is-is-inexpressibles- profusion of rough dark hair, "streaming Mem: eat inexpressibles roasted-Breaches like a meteor," and which would have terof taste, by Reay-the savages!-that will rified the graceful locks of Lord Ellendo for the Bedford-mention it to Joy-the borough from their propriety, stamped into brutes!-Neither bull nor breeches, thank the room, and without noticing the females you inexpressibly, Money." "A Blanquette present, and merely casting a look of scorn de Veau, then, if you like." "Blanket de and of contempt at our really well-furnished Vo! a cover to lay, indeed, Crowns. Mem: table, advanced in ordinary time to the inhabitants of Gin stew blankets of the glass, each step shaking the crystal on the country, and then eat them-the Alsatians!" table like the marble tread of the granite "Poultry, Sir, if you desire it." "Ah! spectre in Don Juan. Having regarded some hopes there, Money-What is that you himself with a fierce but somewhat comhold?" "A Poularde, Sir." "Obliged, placent look, he broke out into the following Crowns-no Pull-hard, thank you; devilish soliloquy :-" Vile place, by Jupiter!tough, I doubt-Mem: Fowl called Pull- Lots of English though-Papers dull as à hard at Gin-Try again, my man." "A London Sunday-Duke of Cambridge ill, Dindon and dans son jus, Sir." "Ding they say-poor Duke!-Sir William Knighdong and a dancing Jew-sort of stewed ton gone to the Continent-extremely odd Rothschild, I suppose-Well! if I don't that-Visit to the Viceroy all humbug

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