CHAPTER XVI. "An anxious stomach well May be endured; so may the throbbing heart: ARMSTRONG. I have said in a preceding chapter that Victor had, to his extreme sorrow, found that his religious opinions were getting somewhat unstable. This process had been a very long and gradual one; and thus it passed into a state of feverish restlessness, of doubt, almost of despair, Day after day were these doubts deepening and darkening, until, at length, bright-winged Hope, and pure-eyed Faith, who had been, forever, as visible angels, walking before, and hovering around him, clapped their wings and fled; and darkness settled, like a heavy shroud, over all the world. Human voices spoke in unknown tongues; the familiar faces of his friends looked strangely on him. He seemed not to belong to the race of men and women; for he had lost the idea of oneness with them: the principle of affinity was gone. He strove to recall the favorite and familiar texts of scripture; but Memory was palsied, and sat quaking on her throne. He attempted to call back the holiest amulet of his faith, the memory of his mother's teachings, her prayers, her parting words; but a nightmare sat upon his affections; and the heart lay beneath his bosom, cold and lifeless as a stone. He felt that he had no part, either in physical or mental being. Every external object lost its meaning, and its lesson. Nothing spake to him. He heard voices, indeed; he beheld objects; but they had no intelligence for him. No spirit communed with his spirit. The bond of brotherhood was broken the cord of sympathy was rudely torn asunder. He was an alien a loose, floating atom part of nothing a bound to nothing - nothing in the wide world. At times he cried out for actual pain. He groaned in spirit for real suffering! He felt that he might bear to have his limbs hacked off by inches that he might see his mother die, without a pang-that he might see the earth open to swallow up all his kindred, without emotion. Indeed, he would have welcomed any mode of physical torture - any thing that could break that hideous apathy. His kind friends marked the change, and strove to cheer him. They administered to his supposed malady; but he changed not; nevertheless a change was working within him. If this period had continued long he must have died. No human being could sustain such agony, for any great length of time. A change came over him. He seemed to wake, as from a troubled dream. The reaction was strong. He was cold, collected, calmperfect master of his reason, of himself. One by one he took up the Articles of his Faith, with their corresponding Doubts and Objections. He scanned them severely as candidates for the seal of Truth. He tried their life, perhaps for Eternity. their power, by the evidence of the Bible, by the principle of Life within himself. He was long in doing this; for he felt that he was deciding his future fate He stripped off all that was meretricious, the inconsistency of professing christians the clash of speculative opinions — uncharitableness, bigotry, superstition. He broke the thick crust of Names and Forms, which envelope Religion so closely, and weigh her down so heavily, we know not if she lives. He cast out all these things, as foreign; and entered into the inner Tabernacle, the Holy of Holies. There he beheld Religion, herself, an existing, real, and all pervading influence. There he beheld the great idea of JESUs, visibly written THE ONENESS OF GOD THE ONENESS OF MAN, He listened with the ear of the understanding, to the words of Him "who spake as never man spake. His doubts were satisfied, He believed; and his belief was positive. But not yet were his affections recalled to life. Not yet was the benevolent Deity, the tender Father, quite evident. Victor, being on a visit to the city, had wandered away one Sabbath afternoon, (as had of late been his frequent habit,) to muse alone. He stood by a retired and beautiful inlet of the bay. The roar of the far-off ocean came softened in the distance; and as the fresh wind curled the spirited waves, they rose among the rocks, and dashed upon his feet, like messengers from Eternity; so vast, so unsearchable, was the bosom from whence they came, The petere uttered a hoarse scream, as, plunging beneath the waters, she seized her gliding prey; and afar off the gull, resting on pinions that seemed wrought from the feathery snow, hung silently above the excited Deep. The mind of Victor was filled with the purest, the loftiest emotions. He lost all cognizance of Time and place; but with the images of his actual position, he was carried back to the sea of Gallilee. He stood on the shore, and beheld the tremendous war of elements. The lashed and foaming waves were dashing mountain high. By the fitful gleams of lightning he beheld a ship, borne like a feather upon the wings of the storm now, riding into the clouds; very now, plunging into the fearful depths below; while the screeching prey-bird, and the voracious shark, seemed to anticipate the horrid event. Bitter, indeed, were the piercing shrieks, wrung from human hearts in their extremest agony! But, lo, a man, clothed in the majesty of God, went forth toward the ship, walking firmly upon the who beheld him fled in fear. the Deep knew his waves. Those He spake ; and The storm heard “Peace. Be still. It is voice. him, and was mute. I. Be not afraid." horse, obedient to the call of his master, lay down quietly. The rebuked prey-birds withdrew on noiseless wing; and the disappointed monsters below, in mute astonishment, glided away through the unsunned alleys of the Deep. Stillness, profound as that which brooded over the first midnight settled upon the scene; for Ocean, like a tired war |