Page images
PDF
EPUB

implored her to be calm-and told her it was nothing but a slight disturbance-that I would protect her.

[ocr errors]

Mercy! mercy! murder! mercy!' she continued to gasp, regardless of all I could say to her. The officer had by this time prevailed on his prisoner to quit the room peaceably-calling to me to bolt the door after him, and stay in the room till he came back. In a few moments all was quiet again. I passed the next quarter of an hour in a perfect ecstasy of apprehension. I expected to see a second fit of blood-spitting come on-to hear the vile people of the house rush up to the door, and burst it open. I knew not what to do. I explained to Miss Edwards, as she lay panting in bed, that the man who was taken off had entered the room for the purpose of robbing her of her five pounds.

[ocr errors]

'I saw-1 saw his face!' she gasped-' they say-it is said he murdered one of the'. she could utter no more, but lay shaking from head to foot. Will he come back again?' she inquired in the same affrighted tone. By degrees, however, her agitation ceased, and, thank God!—(though I could not account for it)-there was no noise, no uproar heard at the door, as I had apprehended. I gave my patient a few drops of laudanum, in water, to aid in quieting her system; and prayed to God, in my heart, that this fearful accident might not be attended with fatal consequences to her.

The drowsy effects of the laudanum were beginning to appear, when the officer, accompanied by another, gently knocked at the door for

admission.

'He's safe enough, now, sir, and we've secured the money,' he whispered, as I met him half-way, with my finger on my lips.

'The hackney-coach, sir, is waiting at the door,' said he in a low tone -the coach you ordered from the Dispensary, they say. I ask your pardon, sir, but hadn't you better take the lady away at once?-the sooner she leaves such a place as this-the better. There may be a disturbance, as these houses swarm with thieves and villains of all kinds, and there are but two of us here to protect you!"

'How is it,' said I, ' that the people of the house make no disturbance, that they let you take off your man so easily-?

'Lord, sir, they durs'nt! They're all at home-but they know us, and durs'n't shew their faces. They know 'tis in our power to take them off to the office as accomplices if we like! But hadn't you better make up your mind, sir, about removing her?'

True. I stood for a moment considering. Perhaps his advice was the best; and yet, could she bear it, after all this agitation? I stepped to the bed-side. She was nearly asleep (our conversation had been carried on in the lowest whisper,) and her pulse was gradually calming down. I thought it, on the whole, a favorable moment, for at least making the attempt. I directed the nurse, therefore, to make the few necessary preparations immediately. In less than a quarter of an hour's time, we had Miss Edwards well muffled up, and wrapped in a large cloak. Her few clothes were tied up in a bundle; and the officer carried her down with as much ease as he could an infant. There was no noise, no hurry and as the coach set off with us, I felt inexpressibly delighted, that at all events I had removed her from the hateful situation in which I had found her. We had not far to go. Miss Edwards, a little agitated, lay quietly in the nurse's arms, and, on the whole, bore the fatigue of removing better than could have been expected. The coachman drove through the quietest streets he could find: and by the time we

stood before the Dispensary gates, Miss Edwards had fallen asleep-for, be it remembered, the influence of the recently-given laudanum was upon her. On alighting, the nurse helped her into my arms. Poor creature! Her weight was that of a child! Though not a strong man, I carried her across the yard, and up stairs to the room that had been prepared for her, with all the ease imaginable. When I laid her on the bed, her short quick breathing, and flushed features, together with her exhausted air, and occasional hysteric starts, made me apprehensive that the agitation and excitement of the last hour or two had done her serious injury. I consoled myself, however, with the recollection, that under the peculiar exigencies of the case, we could have pursued no other or better course; and that my unhappy patient was now where she would receive all the attention that could possibly be paid to one in her melancholy situation. As I gazed at her, there seemed fewer traces than before, of what she had been formerly. See looked more haggard-more hopelessly emaciated than I had before seen her. Still, however, I did not despair of in time bringing her round again. I prescribed a little necessary medicine, and, being much behind-hand with my day's engagements, left, promising to call, if possible, again in the evening. I comforted myself throughout the day with hopes of Miss Edwards's recovery, of her restoration, even, in some measure to society-aye, even of introducing once more into the fold this 'tainted wether of the flock!'

Monday Evening to Saturday-inclusive. Really there does seem something almost magical in the alteration visible in Miss Edwards! I am not the only one that thinks so. Some of her worst symptoms seem disappearing. Though she eats as little as ever, that little is eaten, she says, with relish. Her voice is not so feeble as it was; the pain in her chest is not so oppressive; her spitting sometimes intermits; the fierce evening fever burns slacker; the wasting night sweats abate a little. I am not, however, prematurely sanguine about her; I have seen too many of these deceitful rallyings to be easily deluded by them. Alas! I know too well that they may even be looked upon as symptomatic of her fatal disorder! But courage! Nil desperandum, auspice DEO: she is in THY hands-I leave her there, and bow!

'

Then again, may we not hope, in turn, to minister' successfully 'to the MIND diseased'—to ‘cleanse the foul bosom of that perilous stuff”— which, not removed, will defy all the efforts of human art? Yes, let us hope, though against hope'-for methinks there is stealing over her features an aspect of serenity of which they have long been strippedthere are signs of rejoicing in the desert—of gladness in the wilderness and solitary place, and of blossoming in the rose!

Rays of her former sweetness of temper and manner are perceptible -which, with the knowledge of her sufferings, endear her to all around her. She has so won upon the attentive affectionate nurse, that the faithful creature will not hear of her place being supplied by another.

'Well, Eleanor,' said I to her this morning, I am delighted to find your pulse and tongue speak so well of you; that the nurse can bear witness to the good night's rest you have had! I don't hesitate to say, that if you go on in this way a little longer, I think I can hold out to you strong hopes of recovery!

'Recovery!' she exclaimed, with a deep sigh, shaking her head,' do you think I am glad to hear it?'

[ocr errors]

Dear me,' exclaimed the nurse, impatiently, that's just the way the young lady keeps on with all the night and day through! I tell her 'tis wrong, Doctor-is'nt it?"

"Tis always wrong, surely,' I replied, with a serious air, 'to be unthankful to the Almighty for his blessings, especially such as Miss Edwards has received.'

Ah, Doctor, you wrong me! I wish you could read my heart, and then tell me how it beats with gratitude towards HIM I have so heavily offended! But why should I recover? What is there in life for me? Forgive me, if I say, Oh that Heaven, in its mercy, would let me die now! I am happy, yes, happy, in the prospect of death; but when I think of life, my joy fades suddenly!'

[ocr errors]

Resign yourself, Eleanor, to the will of God? He in his infinite wisdom must choose for you, life or death? Learn to obey, with fear aud trembling?'

'But how should I be otherwise than shocked at returning to the world -the scene of my horrible guilt-my black'-she paused, and turned pale. Who would not spurn me with loathing? The worms would turn against me!-Even this kind woman

'La, ma'am-and what of me? Bless you! Do you think I hate you?' interrupted the honest nurse, with the tears in her eyes.

And, Eleanor-remember: did my wife, at any of the times she has been here'

No! no! no!' murmured the poor sufferer, her tears starting-and snatching my hand to her lips-'forgive me! but how can I help it?' 'Don't be distressed, Eleanor-if you should recover- about your future prospects,' said 1, as the nurse left the room-' there are ways of securing you a comfortable though perhaps a humble retreat! The bounty of one or two kind individuals.

'Doctor-Doctor '— she interrupted me: when her emotion would not suffer her to say more.

[ocr errors]

Don't be oppressed, Eleanor-don't over-estimate a little kindness,' said I, thinking she overrated the small services I spoke of 'It will be but little, and that little cheerfully given, among five or six personsand those ladies-her emotion seemed to increase. Well, well-if you dislike so much the sense of obligation, why cannot you lighten the sense of it, by trying to contribute a little to your own support? Your accomplishments would easily admit of it.'

'Dear Doctor-you mistake me!' she interrupted, having regained a measure of calmness-I could tell you a secret that would astonish you'

A secret!'- echoed, with a smile- Why, what about?'

'I will tell you,' said she; looking towards the door, as if apprehensive of interruption. I rose and bolted it.

I am at this moment, believe me when I say it,-worth £3,000, and inore than that; all-all at my absolute command!'

I stared at her, first with astonishment, then with incredulity; and finally with concern-thinking her intellects disordered. I shook my head involuntarily at her.

'Doctor-disbelieve me, if you choose,' she continued calmly,' but I am serious. I do not speak, as you seem to imagine, deliriously-No, no! This sum of money is really mine-mine alone; and every farthing of it is in the funds at this moment!'

Ah!' I interrupted her, the thought suddenly occurring to me, 'your destroyer baited his hook splendidly

[ocr errors]

All the color that had mantled her cheeks vanished suddenly, leaving them white as marble. She gazed at me for a few moments in silence -the silence I knew not whether of sorrow or scorn.

'No,' she replied at length, with a profound sigh, closing her eyes with her left hand, It has never been polluted by his touch; it should perish if it had! No, no-it is not the price of my shame! Oh, Doctor, Doctor! am I then fallen so deeply, lower than I suspected even, in your estimation? Could you think I would sell myself for MONEY!' She said this with more bitterness of tone and manner than I had ever seen in her.

Well, Eleanor, be calm! Forgive me! I am very sorry I spoke so foolishly and hastily. I did not, however, dream of hurting your feelings! She continued silent. Eleanor, don't you forgive me?' I inquired, taking her hand in mine.

You have not offended me, Doctor; you cannot,' she replied, in tears. It was the thoughts of my own guilt, my own infamy, that shocked me; but it is over! Oh, is it for such a vile wretch as me'-She ceased suddenly, and buried her face in her hands.

Doctor,' at length she resumed, calmer, though in tears, I say this large sum of money is mine-wholly mine. It came to me through the death of a cousin at sea; and was left me by my uncle. They knew not of the polluted hands it was to fall into! Again she paused, overpowered with her feelings. But though I knew it was become mine, could I claim it? A wretch like me? No; the vengeance of God would have blighted me! I have never applied for it; I never will! I have often been starving; driven to the most fearful extent of crime, scarce knowing what I was about; yet I never dared to think of calling the money mine! Guilty, depraved as I was, I hoped that God would view it as a penance, an atonement for my crimes! Oh, God! didst thou, wilt thou now accept so poor, so unworthy a proof of my repentance! Even in dust and ashes it is offered!'

She ceased. My soul indeed felt for her. Poor girl,-what a proof, though a mistaken one, was here, of the bitterness, the reality, of her contrition' and remorse! I scarce knew what reply to make to her.

'I have now, however, made up my mind how to dispose of it; in a manner which I humbly hope will be pleasing to God; and may he accept it at my hands! I wish’At this moment, the returning footsteps of the nurse were heard. "To-morrow-to-morrow, Doctor-a

long history,' she whispered hastily.

I took the hint, opened the door, and the nurse entered. Miss Edwards was much exhausted with the efforts she had made in conversation; and I presently took my leave, reminding her, significantly, that I should see her the next evening. Her concluding words led me to expect a narrative of what had befallen her; but unless she proved much better able than she seemed now to undertake such a painful task, I determined to postpone it.

The next evening convinced me that I had acted imprudently in suffering her to enter into any conversation on topics so harrowing to her spirits. I found she had passed a very restless disturbed night; and one or two painful symptoms re-appeared during the day. I resolved, for a long time to come, to interdict any but medical topics; at least, till she could better sustain excitement. Acting on this principle, little of interest transpired during any of the almost daily visits I paid her for the long period of eleven weeks. I persevered in the most anxious efforts, which I also enjoined on all about her, to supply her mind with cheerful topics, in the shape, chiefly of works of innocent entertainment, chess, sewing, &c. &c.; anything, in short, that could give her mind something to prey upon, instead of itself.

But let me here make devout and thankful mention of the inestimable support and comfort she received in the offices of that best, nay, that only solace of the bed of sickness and death-RELIGION. Let me also bear testimony here to the honorable and unwearied exertions in her behalf made by the intelligent and pious chaplain of the institution. If he be now alive, and I have no reason for supposing he is not, I know he will feel that satisfaction in reflecting upon the services this narrative must call to his recollection, if he see it, which not even the most flattering and public acknowledgment can supply to him. He watched over her with a truly pastoral care, an untiring zeal, that found its reward in bringing her to a full sense of her mournful condition, and in softening her heart to the hallowing and glorious influences of Christianity. He was at her bedside almost every other day, during the long interval I have mentioned. She several times received the sacrament; and though she was more than once unexpectedly brought to the very margin of the grave, her confidence was not shaken. Truly, in the language of Scripture, a new heart was given unto her.' On one occasion of her receiving the sacrament, which she did with all the contrition and humility of Mary Magdalen of old, I heard from Mr. W- that she was so overcome, poor girl, as that, in the very act of taking the cup into her hand, she burst out into hysteric weeping. The excitement increased; he described her features as wearing an expression of all but sublimity; and she presently burst into a strain of the most touching and passionate eloquence.

[ocr errors]

,

"Oh, Saviour of the world,' she exclaimed, her hands clasped in an attitude of devotion, and her eyes fixed upwards, for my polluted lips to kiss thy blessed feet! that thou shouldst suffer me to wash them with my tears! Oh, to stand behind thee, to hear thee forgive me all! Yes, to hear thee speak! To feel that thou hast changed me! Thou hast gone into the wilderness; thou hast sought out the lost sheep, and brought it home with thee rejoicing! Let me never wander from thee again! My heart breaks with thankfulness! I am thine! Do with me as thou wilt.'

Nor were such expressions as these the outpourings of mere delirium ―rant, uttered in a transient fit of enthusiasm-but indications of a permanently altered state of feeling. Surely, call it what you will—enthusiasm, delirium, rant, canting-if it produce such effects as these, it inust be blessed beyond all description; and, Father of the spirits of all flesh! vouchsafe unto me, when in the awful agonies of passing from time into eternity-into Thy presence-oh, wilt thou vouchsafe to ME such enthusiasm, such delirium!

The little attentions my wife paid Miss Edwards in calling with me to see her, and sending her from time to time, such delicacies as her circumstances required, called forth the most enthusiastic expressions of gratitude. My pen can do no justice to the recollections that force themselves upon me, of her constant, overflowing thankfulness-of the peace and cheerfulness she diffused around her, by the unwavering serenity and resignation with which she bore her sufferings. She persisted in expressing her convictions that she should not recover; that she was being carried gently, not flung with headlong horror, into eternity. If ever a gloomy shadow would pass over her mind, and blanch her features, it was when her mind suddenly reverted to the dreadful scenes from which she had been so providentially rescued. The captive could

« PreviousContinue »