not a comparative at hand; but the effect of his obstinacy was, that the boat's head was turned to the right about, notwithstanding my keeping the helm hard aport. Then Jones began to put out his shoulders :--I must confess that I felt quite ashamed of their obstinacy and ignorance. The first pull he gave, I thought he would have drawn us under water; at the second he could not move his oar at all. 'What the devil has got hold of my oar at the bottom?' he roared out, half laughing, and half alarmed. It isn't a shark, I hope!' said Miss Simpson, and she turned as pale as her lemon kid gloves :-how simple of Miss Simpson!-I explained to her that sharks in the Thames were impossible-there might be such things on shore, but they were not amphibious. And I also explained to Jones, why it was that he could not lift his oar: he had in technical phraseology, 'caught a crab' I told him he should skim the top, not rake the bottom. Very good,' said Jones; and the next stroke he made he missed the water altogether, hit himself a most unmerciful thump in his stomach with his double-handed oar, which tumbled him heels uppermost, with his head in Wilson's lap, which broke poor Wilson's watch-glass, Miss Simpson's salts-bottle in his pocket, and knocking Wilson backwards, pitched him with his head into the hamper at the bows, which fractured two bottles of double stout, and cut his occiput clean across the organ of cautiousness. The ladies shrieked, but Wilson, who is, in some respects a wag, said, very gaily,' he didn't mind it no more than a foreigner.' Several other amusing accidents attended our starting, but as they were of minor importance, I shall not narrate them here.

With scarcely any pulling at all-wafted along by the silver tide,we had reached the Red house at Battersea but now we set to in good earnest, and our oars dropped in alternately, one, two, three, four, as regular as the chimes. Here some of the natives on the shore, who had been observing the gallant style with which we pulled along, bawled out, Go it, tail-(I write the word with the hesitation of reluctance-) tailors!'-It is written and I breathe again!-They no doubt, mistook us for a party of tradesmen of that sort, than which nothing could be farther from our thoughts. However, that we might not be annoyed by such mistakes in future, I determined on putting the boat out into the middle of the stream. 'Don't, Twaddel!' exclaimed the whole of the party, as with one voice, for we had hitherto kept close in shore, because the water being shallower, it afforded us some chance of succor if anything should happen to our daring and adventurous crew :-as Smith observed, in his dry way, 'It would be very disagreable to be picked up wringing wet and very dead.' But the command being in my hands, I was resolute on being obeyed, and so out I steered into the dangerous bosom of the Thames.

I now, I may say, we, went on swimmingly. The rowers were attentive to their duty, and perspired with pleasure at their successful exertions: the ladies chatted pleasantly with each other on the fashions and upon Miss Wilkes's expected marriage with the gallant Major Morris of the Middlesex militia; and now and then encouraged our

endeavors to please with their lovely smiles, we had every appearance of being as happy as beauty and bravery could render us. About this time, I noticed that Jones looked somewhat deploringly at his hands: they were as red as beet-root in the palms, with symptons of blistering. If there is anything on which Jones is sensitive it is on the whiteness of his hands it is an amiable weakness, which even the mighty mind of Lord Byron gave way to. Smith, who has a deal of malicious humor about him, comforted him, by telling him that he would lose all the skin they had to their backs,' (his own expression) but in three months he would have in its place a new and much whiter one. Jones looked quite horror-struck!-Miss Fanny Smith then advised him to put on his gloves, which he did, and that made them considerably worse. A boat full of persons passed us at this moment, and we were again saluted with, 'Go it, tailors!' Jones who was sore in one respect, and in many other respects very mettlesome, was for running them aboard, and calling them to account: but I explained, that it was possible that a party of those very serviceable tradesmen were expected up the river that day, and we might probably be mistaken for them. Jones seemed pacified, and pulled on till he declared he could pull no more, his hands were so blistered; and so they were like a newlypainted shutter in the dog-days. We all sincerely pitied him, save Smith, who laughed and looked all sorts of droll things at his misery. Gentlemen,' said I, to relieve you for a time from your labors, pull in your oars, and let the boat drift with the tide, which is almost strong enough to carry us to our destination.'

All hands I could see were agreeable, so that the oars were taken in, but in a very unseamanlike manner, for Wilson nearly brought down the awning and brained Miss Simpson with his, and Jones hit Smith such a pat of the head with his, that it made it ring; we all set it down as a trifle from Margate,' in return for Smith's raillery, at poor Jones' expense. Smith, however, only laughed-nothing can disturb his good humor. Jones then produced his German flute with additional keys, and every one was restored to harmony. He played us, out of Wragg's Perceptor, ' In my Cottage near a Wood,' 'The Lass of Richmond Hill,' At Kew one Morn was Peter Born,' The Jolly Young Waterman,'' Go to the Devil and Shake Yourself,' and many other naval and national melodies, very delightful indeed. Miss Fanny Smith also kindly obliged the company by singing the first part of All's Well,' to Mr. Jones's second part on the German flute. Nothing in human nature could be more beautiful!-the waters seemed to glide silently past us, as if listening with every attention to their dulcet strains; and all Nature was hushed, save a west-country bargeman, who whistled responsively, as he plunged a sweep every now and then into the silver waters. After this Wilson gave us a song, set, I dare say, as he sung it, for thus ran the opening line :

'When forced from thee to-0-0-0- part;'

and then he paused. Smith, who is always alive to the ridiculous, said in his dry, droll way, 'Try back, Wilson.' Wilson however could not

remember the second line. Then,' said Smith, 'I'll sing it for you;' and he struck up—

'When forced from thee to pooh-pooh-pooh-part.'

We laughed for an hour, and Wilson would not sing another note. 'A Muggins to the rescue!' Tomlins volunteered a song, and all

was silence, as he struck up 'Love's Young Dream.'

'But there's nothing half so sweet in life

As Love's young dream;

Oh, there's nothing half so sweet in life,'

'As lump sugar!' chimed in that provoking fellow, Smith, with a vociferous jollity of voice that put all the sentiment of the song to immediate flight. Our laughter must have been heard along both shores. Wilson, being one of the Grocer's Company, thought the joke a little too personal; but who can take a lasting offence at the frolics of Smith? Throughout this memorable day he shewed himself a wag of the first water. We all, except Jones, who was rather jealous of his success, allowed him to carry away the palm of preference; the ladies' eyes, too,

'Rain'd influence, and adjudg'd the prize.'

By this time we neared Battersea Bridge-it is the Scylla and Charybdis of amateur aquarians; if you escape S. you come bump against C., and vice versa. The station of steersman is therefore one of serious responsibility, and requires the steadiest skill, an eye like a mathematician's, a hand like a watch-maker's, and the most undaunted courage. We were shooting cleanly and cleverly, and in the most seaman-like manner, through the centre arch, when Jones, perhaps over anxious for the success of this fine evolution, dipped his oar in, and giving a pull, drove our nose plump between the starlings. All was immediate confusion! the ladies shrieked in the most piercing manner-Wilson turned as white as his waistcoat-Jones trembled Tomlins was terrified-Smith looked as if all the joke were taken out of him-and I in some measure gave up all for lost. The tide rose like a rampant beast at the stern, and our boat pitched deeper and deeper still at the head. To add to the agonies of such a moment, a savage in human form, who was coolly hanging over the balustrades, bawled out in a jeering manner, 'Say your prayers, you tailors, while I run for the drags!' 'Tailors, again!-d-n it!' said Jones, indignantly;--all his mettle was in arms-he became desperate; and, seizing an oar, with a superhuman push he set us clear again, but broke the oar short off; this, however, was of no consequence, as we had had the precaution to take an extra pair, and this accident brought them into play. Jones was blamed by all, but it was of little use, for he was so proud of his powers in getting us out of the scrape, that getting us into it seemed quite a merit in his eyes!

Some close observer of nature has remarked, that after a storm comes a calm.' We were soon restored to that complacency which men feel who have done their duty in trying circumstances, and Smith, who had recovered his good humor, told us a capital story about Bat

tersea Church, and how the Emperor of Russia wished to purchase it for Petersburg; but as the parishioners would not part with their church without he took the parson into the bargain, and the Emperor would not do that, the negotiation went off, and there the church is to this day. This amusing story was, no doubt, a piece of invention of Smith's, for he has a very happy originality in that way. We laughed prodigiously, and Smith was satisfied.

Here I took occasion to address a few words to the gallant crew. 'Gentlemen,' said I, ' as we came out with the intention of reaching Richmond by water, allow me as the commander of this expedition, to press upon you the necessity of putting your shoulders to the wheel, if you mean to complete that great enterprize. I need not remind you that in order to reach Richmond it is necessary that you should get there. (Hear, hear!) Gentlemen, the eyes of Cornhill-I may add, Cheapside, are upon us! If we succeed, we shall be crowned with success; if we fail-but no-I will not fear-that is to say, Gentlemen, I cannot (Here I was completely put out by that Jones, who kept winking his malicious eye at Smith, as much as to say, 'only hear the future Deputy of Dowgate Ward!' Jones, I am sorry to say, is in many respects a very envious young man. I resumed--)-'In short Gentlemen, as some one has said, a long pull, a strong pull, and a pull altogether, will, if we faint not, bring our enterprize to a happy end. For as Mr. Shakspeare, the dramatist, has said

'Richmond!' was the inspiring cry of the whole crew, with the exception of the ladies-who shared, however, in our truly British ardor. Every man grasped his oar; jackets and hats were immediately thrown off, as incumbrances; Jones in his enthusiasm forgot his blisters, and we pushed along gaily and gallantly—

'Swift as an arrow from a Tartar's bow,"

and Putney seemed to stare with astonishment at Fulham-Hanımersmith at Barnes, to see the rapidity of our flight To make our labors light and cheer our way, Miss Fatima Smith, at her brother's request, read to us the Choice,' of Mr. John Pomfret, that divine poet; and Smith himself,

'Possess'd beyond the Muses' painting,'

broke out all over with an original sonnet, keeping time with his oar to the measure. When it was over we all expressed our regret that he did not put his high poetic powers to more use. If I did,' he remarked, how should I be known" from many another Smith?" "Take another name,' I suggested. 'Call yourself Jones,' said Jones, in his very happy way, and we laughed amazingly. Jones is inimitable when he likes to be so.

Absorbed in this delightful interchange of poetry and pleasantry, we progressed agreeably along, and

'Panting time toi! 'd after us in vain.'

6

'What place is this we are athwart of?' asked Tomlins. He was informed it was Kew. I thought so,' he added; and that little gentlemen in the nook of the wall is, I suppose, Q in the corner?' We had never heard Tomlins perpetrate a pun before; but we encouraged him with our smiles. He is not a favorite with our party; I don't know why, except that he is very stupid. Tomlins makes pretensions to Miss Fatima Smith, but with very little chance of success. Miss Smith will become a Mrs. T., but it will be Mrs. Twaddell, not Tomlins, if I know her heart. By the by, where shall we dine?' said Jones. Yes, where shall we dine?' cried all. I saw that he had the sense of the company with him, so I replied, Whereyou please.' Why not here?' he rejoined. We were at that moment in sight of a lovely lawn, that ran with an easy slope down to the water's edge. It was one o'clock-the place was propitious--and the labors of the morning had whetted our appetites to the keenest edge. I was not, therefore, taken by surprise, when I heard the four exclaim, as with one voice, Here we dine! I immediately rounded the rudder for land, and in a minute we touched the shore, and all hands leaped on the lawn. The ladies, the giblet-pies, bottled porter, and sherry, were landed in a giffey; and while a detachment was sent out to select a pleasant spot for our spot, Jones was as active as a harlequin, in unpacking and preparing all things. A delightful nook in a quickset hedge, and under a shady elm, was marked out for the happy occasion; and every thing being in no time removed to it, a clean cloth was spread on the green turf; the pies, bread, salt, knives and forks, plates, glasses, and every thing was in apple-pie order--the word was given, 'to your places,'--the ladies were handed to their's, and down we all squatted, like a Turkish dinner-perty, hunger and expectation being remarkable in every countenance.

'Jones,' I directed, 'cut up the pie.' 'With all the pleasure in life,' he promptly replied, and began to operate. A cursed hard crust to begin with, and as thick as the Serpentine in skating season,' remarked Jones, as he grinned and groaned, and vainly endeavored to make an impression upon its outworks. Never mind its hardness,' said I.—(Miss Fatima Smith had made it with her own fair hands.)— 'I shall venture on it.' 'Yes,' said Smith, it will bear you.'(Roars of laughter.)- Upon my soul,' said Jones, I cannot cut into it-my hands are so tender.' This set the ladies giggling, and then he threw down the knife and fork in a pet. Here, hand the pie to me,' said Smith; and, oh, monstrous! he made no more ado, but jobbed his elbow upon the cone of the crust, which broke it in sure enough, but at the same time sent half the gravy with a spirt into our eyes, all over Wilson's white waistcoat, and down Miss Simpson's black satin spencer. You awkward fellow!' exclaimed his sisters; and they blush. ed as beautifully as Aurora. Oh, never mind my spencer,' said Miss Simpson: 'I don't care about my waistcoat,' said Wilson, have got at the giblets, which I had given up in despair.' laughed heartily, and heartily we eat. I never saw, at a

since we We then Guildhall