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Of the Times of taking Food.— The various occupations ness. After a long and debilitating illness, the convalescent's and circumstances of mankind, render it impossible and appetite is sometimes keen, and even voracious; but it is useless to lay down any general rules for the periods of highly dangerqus to indulge this appetite, or to comply taking food. Reason would dictate very different modes with the kind wishes of his friends, who are desirous to and times from those which fashion and custom have pre see him quickly restored to health and vigour. The sto. scribed. The hour of rising should be six or seven, and mach is unable to digest the quantity of food taken, and its breakfast should be taken about two hours afterwards. over-stimulated powers become exhausted; some other With many persons the powers of the constitution are lan- disease, or a relapse of his former one, comes on; and he guid and feeble; and even at the end of two hours they finds it unsafe to tax nature beyond her strength. A sudhave little appetite for breakfast; while others are recruit- den transition from full and luxurious living to great ab. ed and invigorated by a moderate meal very soon after ris-stinence is not a safe measure. Some have resolutely made ing. The breakfast should be substantial, in proportion to the change suddenly and with impunity; but it succeeds the labour to be undergone during the early part of the better when established babits are not too hastily broken day; and in proportion to the time that must elapse before in upon. food can again be taken. The best time of taking the On the subject of diet, and especially on provocatives, the principal meal is between one and two; but the necessities moralist has something to say as well as the physician. of business, and the mandate of fashion, have rendered this Industry and temperance have their reward in active vigour, impossible for any but the labouring classes ; while those refreshing sleep, and easy digestion ; when the stomach is employed in all the varieties of mercantile occupations, and neither overloaded by excess, nor bribed by spices. On the who must make their hours to suit the convenience of the other hand, when the pleasure of eating is made a primary higher ranks, are obliged either to fast till four or five object, and indolence and sensuality neglect the due exer. o'clock, or be content with a hasty luncheon. Those who cise of the body, the stomach is tardy and irregular in per. have their time more at their own disposal, make their lun- forming its functions; and needs to be solicited by all the cheon a plain but copious meal; and in such, it would be arts of the cook, and by condiments, for which all the 'a wise plan to dispense with the late dinner altogether. As kingdoms of nature have been ransacked. The powers of it is, they either make it a supper, for which it is by far digestion are impaired, the body becomes bloated and un. too copious and too stimulating; or if they do not retire healthy ; and diseases of various kinds exact a rigorous to rest five or six hours after dinner, they are over-excited compensation for the waste of those resources of the constiby the wine and stimulants they use, or by the hot and tntion, which have been so im providently and prematurely 'crowded rooms which they frequent: hence the constitution expended. is exhausted, and the orderly and healthful plan of life is totally inverted. Retiring to rest with the stomach loaded with a hearty meal, is a sure way of occasioning feverish
MODERN DICTIONARY. restlessness. Copious suppers are therefore to be avoided ;
Distant Relations. People who imagine they have a and some light food near bed-time is to be preferred. claim to rob you if you are rich, and to insult you if you
C'onsequences of Errors in Diet. To enumerate all are poor. these, wonld be to give a list of the greater number of dis Heart-A rare article, sometinies found in human beings. eases which affict humanity. In early life, the state of It is soon, however, destroyed by commerce with the world, the stomach, of the chylopoetic viscera, and of the bowels, or else becomes fatal to its possessor. is so delicate and easily disordered, that a great proportion Housewifery-An ancient art, said to have been fashion. of the diseases of children may be traced to errors in their able among young girls and wives; now entirely out of diet. To these we ascribe their green and sour stools, their use, or practised only by the lower orders. flatulence and griping pains, their skin-diseases, and some Wealth-The most respectable quality of man. times water in the head and convulsions. In more ad Virtuem-An awkward habit of acting differently from vanced life, irregularities in diet, and habitual indulgence other people. A vulgar word. It creates great mirth in in too much, and too luxurious food and drink, lay the fashionable circles. foundation for gout, liver-disease, dropsy, apoplexy, palsy, Honour_Shooting a friend through the head whom you stomach complaints, and the long train of what are called love, in order to gain the praise of a few others whom you nervous diseases. Occasional excesses in eating occasion despise and hate. cholic, diarrhæa, sick headach, apoplexy; and a debauch in Marriage- The gate through which the happy lover drinking too often destroys life, or brings on madness. leaves his enchanted regions and returns to earth.
Of the Diet in Sickness. The regulation of the diet in Friend_A person who will not assist you because he disease is a matter of primary importance. In many dis- knows your love will excuse him. eases, health may be restored by abstinence, or a properly Wedded Bliss-A term used by Milton. regulated diet; and in others, the resources of physic will Doctor-A man who kills you to-day, to save you from be unavailing if the diet be not carefully attended to. In dying to-morrow. fever, there is commonly an aversion to food, which the Lunatic Asylum-A kind of hospital, where detected stomach could not digest, and which would only act injuri- lunatics are sent by those who have had the adroitness to ously on the system. In many inflammatory diseases, the conceal their own infirmity. same salutary instinct occurs : but in some there is no dis Water-A clear fluid, once used as a drink. like to food; and the friends of the patient, supposing him Tragedian-A fellow with a tin pot on his head, who to be weak, give food or stimulating drinks, with the cer stalks about the stage, and gets into a violent passion for tainty of aggravating the disease. In the great majority of so much a night. diseases having febrile symptoms, a spare diet and abstin Critic-A large dog, that goes unchained, and barks at ence from wine, porter, spirits, and the like, are absolutely every thing he does not comprehend. necessary. In chronic discases, and those attended with de Jury-Twelve prisoners in a box to try one or more at bility, a more generous diet is to be allowed. In stomach the bar. complaints, the most important part of the physician's office Young Altorney-A useless member of society, who is to regulate the diet. In the puerperal state, the reco often goes where he has no business to be, because he has very is essentially aided by avoiding all irregularities in no business where he ought to be. food and drink ; while the most dangerous and fatal disor King's Evidence-A wretch who is pardoned for being ders are brought on by impruđent indulgences. We have baser than his comrades. given, under the various diseases in different parts of the Sensibility – A quality by which its possessor, in attempt. work, particular directions for diet, in those cases where the ing to promote the happiness of other peopLe, loses his consideration of this subject is essential.
Dier of (onralescents. Great attention is necessary in My Dear-An expression used hy man and wife at the nagulating the diet of those who are recovering from sick commencement of a quarrel.
THE STORY TELLER.
importance. To say that a man has an income of four
thousand a-year, is to say nothing. One set of people re“ MY PLACE IN THE COUNTRY.".
gard him as a pauper; another set observe that, with ma. The authoress of the tale which, for the sake of our nagement, he may live handsomely enough ; a third declare dear readers, we are about to condense by very high pres that he must not attempt to launch out in London society; sure, is, of all fashionable novelists, the most fashionable ; and the fashionable world vote him admissible only as a the writer of MOTHERS and DAUGHTERS, The Fair of giver of moderate dinners, and a proprietor of moderate May Fair, and Sketches of Fashion, which last is equipages. But give him boldly out as recently arrived in just published. She is Mrs. Gore, or the Honourable Mrs. England with a hundred thousand pounds, and the whole Gore, the cleverest delineator and satirist of fashionable world (with the exception of the mercantile classes) hail follies, and exposer, not of naked fashionable vice, but of him at once as a wealthy man. What may not a man do the corrupting and the immoral tendencies of fashionable with a hundred thousand pounds ! • No stud,—no service manners, that we know. Tait's Magazine, last year, of plate,-no French cook,—no opera box? Shabby felalleged, that her writings were, in tendency, highly radi- low !-If a man with a hundred thousand pounds cannot cal; and the Westminster Review, more recently, laugh- afford to be comfortable, who can ?" People talk of the ingly accuses her of a secret purpose of bringing the earnings of his thirty years' exile-of the whole provision peerage into contempt. In the tale before us, Mrs. Gore for his future family,—as of a year's income.” does not soar to such high game, but she as surely strikes
Such wa the case with Richard Martindale. His elder her quarry. Her moral is, “ The curse of every granted brother, the A—, but no, he called himself “ the Solici. prayer.” We can go no farther with her work ; but, with tor,” had long fixed a greedy eye on a small estate of fifty the following specimen of a specimen, leave our readers to
or sixty acres, adjoining his paddock, in the suburbs of dun the unfortunate keepers of circulating libraries for Hertford. « Now Richard is come home,” said he, to his more: and thus saith Mrs. Gore :
smart wife, “I shall get him to manage it for me.” The MR. MARTINDALE was considered a very fortunate man to
Reverend Jacob, kike his namesake, proprietor of twelve return from the Cape of Good Hope with a fortune of ninety blooming children, was no less anxious to build a wing to thousand pounds, shortly after he had attained the age of his parsonage, in order that the fathers of the twelve future forty-four. Ages and their influences are comparative. An tribes might not sleep above three in a bed. “ Now Richard individual who, during twenty-two of his four-and-forty is come home,” said he to his dowdy wife, “I shall get years, has scarcely missed as many days of being seen on him to manage it for me.” His elder sister, Mrs. Marriott, the pavé of St. James's Street, or in the dust of Hyde Park, had an elder son ripe for college; and, in his mother's -whose visage has been as stationary in the bay window opinion, needing only that stepping-stone to advancement of White's Arthur's, or the Cocoa Tree, as that of the great to reach the highest dignities of church or state. It had Saladin over the Saracen's Head coach-office, passes for a long been her ambition to behold him in trencher cap middle-aged man, or rather for a man of a certain age: and gown. “ Now Richard is come home,” said she to but one who has passed his time in purveying camels for her somnolent spouse, “I shall get him to manage it for the East India Company in the vicinity of the Himalaya, or me.” His younger sister, Mrs. Millegan, whose husband, planting indigo, or chewing betel in any other oriental set- in addition to his own farm, managed the large estates of tlement, is accounted a young man, should his final settle the Earl of Mowbray, and who was accordingly much ment with Leadenhall-street be completed within his first noticed by the ladies at Mowbray End, had long been dehalf century. Richard Martindale, thanks to currie, mag- sirous of possessing some sort of carriage, even a pony-cart, nesia lozenges, and other bilious preventatives, had been so in which she could make her appearance there when comlucky as to lose sight of Table Mountain without the loss pany was staying in the house, without dust or mud upon of his liver or the reduplication of his spleen ;—his fortune her shoes, or traces of plebeian moisture on her brow. was invested in a very safe house ;-and on his arrival at “ Now Richard is come home,” cried she to her three eager Verot's Hotel from the Downs, he thought himself, and daughters, “ I shall get him to manage it for me.” was thought by the waiters, a very important personage. Richard, when come home, receives a most fraternal welHe was not indeed the inheritor of an aristocratic name, come, only it distressed him at first to witness the distress but his lineage was respectable and irreproachable; his of his kinsfolk. father having been an eminent physician in the town o
There could not apparently be four more uncomfortable Hertford, where his elder brother still practised as the lead- families than those which had unceasingly favoured him, ing attorney. One younger brother was a clergyman; and during his residence among the Hottentots, with glowing his two sisters were married to small squires in the neigh- pictures of their domestic happiness, and entreaties that he .bourhood of their hereditary homes.
would hasten his return to witness and share it. Their In such a family, secure from all pretension to fashion or pretensions, however, were far from exorbitant. He was distinction, the sum of ninety thousand pounds was as the in hopes that five thousand pounds would cover the whole treasury of the pre-Adamite Sultans! They had been talk- amount of their ambition ; and what was five thousand ing for five years past of all Richard would do when he out of ninety ?-Within a week, therefore, after his arrival arrived; and now that he was really come, and really at the dapper residence of his brother Robert, he had propleaded guilty to the possession of a sum so nearly approach- mised universal happiness to the family; purchased the ing to one hundred thousand pounds, they hardly knew how Clammer Mill estate ; presented to Jacob the fifteen hun. to make too much of him, or too little of themselves. A dred pounds necessary to build and furnish the new wing; fortune recently acquired, or still floating, which has not yet settled eighty pounds a year on Richard Marriot ; and bebeen 'subjected to matter-of-fact calculations respecting in. stowed on the astonished Mrs. Millegan a handsome chariot terest, investment, and net produce, always assumes double and set of horses. He cursed the whole family in short
“ with many a granted prayer ;" and never was a finer or young Dick of Trinity was privately engaged to his cousin more glowing specimen of the shortsightedness and ingra. Clotilda Martindale, sole heiress to the solicitor, and to titude of the human race exhibited, than by the dynasty of Clammer Mill farm; and that the eldest of Jacob's dozen Martindale. Having so readily obtained all they asked for, had been writing verses to Miss Helena Milegan, the they were now prodigiously vexed they had not asked for Mowbray hunter1 War was now openly declared among more. Bob had little doubt that his dear Richard would them; and Richard, at length, growing somewhat irritable, have made very little difficulty in adding the Springfield began to fancy himself bilious; and having packed himself Farm to his purchase ; which would, in fact, have made and his York-tan coloured serving-man (it is impossible to the whole a most complete thing—a most valuable invest designate him a valet) into a yellow chariot resembling, ment-a most saleable property :—while Jacob thought it with the exception of the hammer-cloth, his ill-starred a great oversight to expend so large a sum as fifteen hun present to the wife of Lord Mowbray's agent, he set off for dred pounds on a college living, while four thousand would Cheltenham as fast as four post horses would carry him. have purchased the advowson of Bramfield, where the par. If he could not get rid of his indigestion, it would be some. sonage and gardens were calculated for the reception of a thing to get rid of his family. large family, (six more sons if he liked), and fit to step into Poor Martindale felt as if released from the house of at once, without incurring the perplexities of brick and mor- bondage, as he walked jauntily along the Montpelier Pa. tar:-Mrs. Marriot woke her unhappy husband three or rade, arrayed in a new coat, new boots, new gloves, ne four times during his after-dinner doze, to lament-that, while every thing ; betraying in every look and movement the she was about it, she had not begged her brother to send luxurious nabob, intent on his own rejuvenescence, and enTom to Westminster, as well as Dick to Trinity; and, as hanted with the stir and cheerfulness of an English to Mrs. Millegan, she had an attack of the jaundice in honour watering-place. of her good fortune. She, who had been the most abundantly And if his object in visiting Cheltenham were to recruit rewarded of all, -she who had spunged for a pony-cart and his health and spirits, the effort was speedily effectual; for obtained a yellow chariot with a light blue bullion hammer- at the close of ten days, he made his way to the spring, not cloth, she was most disappointed,—the most indignant of only more spruce and self-complacent than ever, but having the whole family ;—and knew not whether most to blame, a very pretty wonian appended to his arm. Discouraged her own improvidence or the injustice of her brother. He in his attempt to diffuse happiness, and sow contentment in was no longer her “dear brother"_no longer even Dick his own family, he had conceived a determination to become --but merely Richard Martindale."—Nothing could be the founder of a new family, for a renewal of the experimore unfair than Richard Martindale's partiality in the fa. ment. mily; and to make her the sufferer, his next, and once Although forty-four in years, and fifty in complexion, his favourite sister !she who had been “ little Nancy” in his face having very much the appearance of a last year's his early letters from the Cape ;_and who had sent him russeting apple) Richard was by no means an ill-looking out year after year, for ifteen seasons, a case of high-dried man; and, but for a little excess of showiness in his cos. hams and tongues of her own curing. It was too bad ! tume, might have passed for a gentlemanly one. Having
Richard Martindale had expended L.2754, 78. 8d. on the tontined his way to a high appointment at the Cape, he had purchase of the Clammer Mill estate ;-Richard Martin- lived there in the best official society; and was, in fact, a dale had paid in hard cash to his brother Jacob, a sum of better bred man than either Robert or Jacob, his brethren, L1500 ;-Richard Martindale had settled on Dick Marriot who, between themselves, affected to look upon him as a the interest of L.2,000 ; while on herself,—on little Nancy, Hottentot. But whether ill-looking, ill-dressed, ill-bred on poor little Nancy,—he bad bestowed a London built or well, it mattered not A handsome equipage, and the chariot, with a pair of harness and iron-gray horses ! Even reports circulated by his York-tan coloured servant, ha! allowing for Richard Martindale's absurd ignorance of the induced an opinion that he was a man of millions ; and value of things, and predisposition to be cheated,' the it naturally followed, that he soon became an object of whole gift would not have cost him L.600 ; and, by'a pru- universal esteem and admiration. dent purchaser, might have been secured for L.470, And
*** We leave it to Mrs. Gore's entire readers to learn how this was to be her portion of his opulence ; this her share Mary-Matilda, one of the four daughters of Sir John Grin. of the family bounty, amounting in the aggregate to L6,854, derwell, a Gloucestershire baronet, with a fortune of 78. 80.!!!
L.1500, and one sister or two sisters to keep, was wooed, and * While poor Mrs. M: legan railed at the cruelty of her Richard Martindale wed at Cheltenham; and how the brother,-her husband and daughters railed at her own bad happy pair proceeded on a bridal tonr to Wales_" the management; till, in the exuberance of her wrath, she set bride in a white satin hat and ostrich feathers." We jest forth in the town-built chariot aforesaid, with its blue glance at the tail of the honey-moon, where it blends insen. hammer-cloth, to quarrel with her sister Marriot, for hav- sibly with what Byron calls the “ treacle-moon" — and ing so shamefully overreached “poor Richard.” Nay, thus Mrs. Gore gives it: before the month was over, hard words had passed between
It would be irrelevant to vary the picture of their pilRobert Martindale and Jacob ;(in whose parish, the momentous farm of Clammer Mill happened to be situated ;) and grimage, by a hint of all the damp beds
, tough beef-steaks Richard, on his second arrival in Hertfordshire, from sloe-juice wine, and sloe-leaf tea, they confronted by the Nerot's Hotel, found that those he had left desponding, way. All these minor miseries served as texts for Richard's
protestations to his bride, that were grown despairing; and that their complaints were now no longer of their circumstances, but of each other. No With her conversing, he enjoyed ha d beef, two of the four families could meet without bickering; and,
Sour veal, or musty lamb, -all pleased alike; in consequence of this novel disunion, it came out that while Mary-Matilda maintained, for the first six weeks,
The world was all before them where to choose :
that the tenderiress of her dear Richard fully compensated given you a stake in the country, and a respectable roof an. the toughness of the steaks.
der which to bring up your children, eh, Dick ?" At length the November fogs set in. Martindale could At Exmouth it sometimes occurred to poor Richard, that no longer travel with the windows down, and was obliged he was made a butt by the captains of hussars, lancers to plead guilty to the twinges of a flying rheumatism. The ragoons, carabineers, fusileers, and fencibles, who lounged, loving couple having now been acquainted for four months, in his house, drank his claret, and flirted with his sisters-in. and united for two, had confided and re-confided to each law. He began to be tired of a round of company, and to other (like two benighted princesses meeting in a wood in long for a quiet study or book-room to spell the newspapers one of Mademoiselle de Scudéry's novels) all the incidents in and almost regretted that there were still three months of their past lives. Mary-Matilda was beginning to yawn unexpired of his year's residence in the Circus. To be sure wider and oftener than was either becoming or safe, -con the waters were supposed to be useful to his rheumatism; sidering the state of the atmosphere; and it was at length and he liked his Whist Club, and found his neighbours, Sir agreed between them that, although travelling was a de- Hookah Smith, and Sir Sangaree Brown, extremely agree. lightful thing, it would be still more delightful to settle in able. But at his time of life (it was the first time he had : a good warm residence for the winter.
ever been heard to allude to “his time of life," even in
soliloquy) people wanted to be quiet. There was too Richard spoke of Hertfordshire; Mary-Matilda thonght much bustle at Bath for a man of five-and-forty, worn out of London ; but Bath was the place at last. Here Mrs. | by a hot climate. Martindale, whose fine clothes were now replaced by still Nevertheless, when the term of his stay there was on the finer, and who wore such beautiful pearls and such a quan- point of expiring, his resolution to quit was almost shaken tity of ostrich feathers,was pronounced to be one of the by the numerous arguments bronght forward by Marybeauties of Bath, and quite the woman of fashion.” Rich- Matilda for a renewal of the lease." She should so much arl grew more persuaded than ever that he was the luckiest like to be confined again at Bath ;-and Ma had promised and happiest of men ; and Mrs. Millegan (whose danghters that Anne and Harriet should come and pass the winter had been finished at a Bath boarding-school, and retained with her!"_This last declaration was decisive. Martin. several correspondents there) was ready to expire of indig- dale immediately protested that to prolong their residence nation, on learning in what style her brother lived, and that at Bath was out of the question; that the air disagreed with Mrs. Richard Martindale's ball had been the most splendid him; and after one or two floods of tears, more nearly ap. of the Circus and the Season. The whole of the Martindale proaching to hysterics than any thing she had attempted family had, in the first instance, received the announcement since her scene in the vestry on her wedding-day, Mrs. of his marriage as a personal injury; and their only com- Richard consented to accompany her lord and master to Nefort was, in pointing out that one of a Baronet's many rot's Hotel, till they could procure a suitable residence in daughters could not but prove a very unthrifty helpmate. town. It was not that she disliked the notion of figuring
But all forgave Richard at last, save Mrs. Millegan, alias in London ; but she had a shrewd suspicion that, although a "little Nancy," who was now a woman of some fifteen somebody at Bath, and a very considerable somebody at Exstone, and could by no means pardon her brother; and mouth, she should be a nobody in the inetropolis. “ Tel brille when the newspapers eventually announced that the lady au second rang qui s'éclipse au premier;" and, after shining of Richard Martindale, of the Circus, Bath, had given as a fixed star in the Circus, it was very hard to dwindle into birth to a son and beir, the sole ejaculation of her sisterly one of the thousandth magnitude in Baker Street, or Glou. tenderness on the occasion, was “ Much good may it do cester Place. Unnsed to London, she was certain she should him!"
find it very dull;- nor did her arrival in Clifford Street on But Bath could not charm for ever. Mary-Matilda tas a foggy evening in November, tend to brighten her opinions' dying to shew her pearls and her baby to her sisters; and on the subject. It was not till, at the close of a week, she to whisper to Harriet and Anne, how strangely Julia, who sound herself comfortably settled in a handsome house in had done her the sisterly kindness to live with her during Harley Street, with an equally handsome establishment, the residence at Bath, had been flirting with a militia offi that she began to admit the possibility of living in London. cer. So off they all set for Exmonth, where the Martin Richard Martindale was now happier than he had been dales met the Grinderwells, and liver in lodgings close since the first fortnight of his original arrival at Chelten. together, the happiest people in the world. So many young ham. people; so much music; so much riding, driving, and In Harley and the half-dozen adjoining streets, he had at dancing ; so many little supper parties ; so many large least half a dozen oriental acquaintances, with whom ho dinner parties at his own house ; besides gipseyings, pic- could sit gossipping about things, people, and places, nics, and other manenyres invented by Baronets of large events past, present, and to come,—wholly uninteresting to family and small fortune ; the budding beauties of Master the kingdom in general. Instead of one whist club, as at Grinderwell, and the promise of a second olive branch to Bath, he had now four; and instead of the captains of make glad his heart; - all was auspicious, all was cheering, hussars, lancers, dragoons, carabineers, fusileers, and fenall was satisfactory !
cihles, he had his friend Ned Warton, besides eight Ay, ay," growled Edward Warton, a cunning old Directors, six Calcutta nabobs, and two yellow Knights hachelor, who, like his friend, had amassed a considerable Companions who had served with distinction at Bhurtpoor. fortune on the shores of Table Bay, but was too wise to With the assistance of a speculative agent he still consquander a shilling of it even on himself_“I see you have trived to receive four thousand a gear income from his married half a dozen wives instead of onc.—Good look out eighty-five thonsand ponnds: and, as his brother Robert for old Grinderwell; deuced bad one, I take it, for your often observed, “ a man might really live like a prince on weekly bills !-Nunky pays for all, eh, Dick ?-Sharp such a fortune ; and do something for his family into the woman, that old mother-in-law !_Sad do, I fear, this bargain." match of your's !_Always a sister or two staying in the In every great metropolis, there must necessarily exist house, eh, Dick ?_Take care they don't eat you out of as great a variety of circles and coteries, as of classes in the house and home !_But I forgot ; you have got no home, I vegetable or animal creation. It is absurd to attempt the fancy?-Only a gimcrack lodging-house at a watering- sweeping distinctions of equestrian and pedestrian, patri. placet"
cian and plebeian, in a city numbering a million and a half " I have very excellent mansion in Bath," said Mar of inhabitants. Even the minority of the patricians may tindale with indignation, “where I hope you will come be subdivided into several classes ; and as to the plebeians, and see me—that yon may humanize your notions a little Linneæus himself would be puzzled to dispose of the varespecting my wife and her family."
rieties! “Bath !_what a place to live in! a mob of swindlers, Now the coterie to which the Martindales instinctively dowagers, and decayed spinsters! Bath S-Why not purchase attached themselves, was of the genus called “ dinner-giving a good substantial country seat at once; which would have people," a large and (as the newspapers say) “ influential"
body, (chiefly resident in the N.N.W. of London,) who finery was a mere affair of competition with Mrs. Calicut, make it the business of their lives to assemble at their or Lady Kedgeree, or Lady Hookah Smith; and the great. tables three or four times a-month sixteen well-dressed in er part of her time was spent, as a matter of routine, in dividuals, severally possessed of an amount of plate, linen, gossipping with her head nurse or the apothecary. In the china, and domestics, equal to their own ;-and who, in autumn, they all went to the sea, for change of air for the reward for this mechanical act of hospitality, are entitled children; at Christmas, they either paid a family visit to to dine on all the other days, in a company equally nume- Grinderwell Hall, or took a course of the Cheltenham wa. rous, and on viands equally delicate. The ambition of dis- ters; but they were always back again in Harley Street by playing at their own board, meat in due season, and fruit February, to be ready for the east wind, and their favour. out of itz—of obtaining Sir Thomas's opinion that their | ite Saturday dinner parties. They were regular in their aphock is superior to that of Sir Charles, and securing Lady pearance at the gay church of St. Marylebone on Sundays; Charlotte's verdict that their peaches are three weeks earlier regular in their drive afterwards in Hyde Park ; regular in than those of Sir Thomas-suffices for their happiness ; an annual exhibition at the drawing-rooms; and regular in and there is a steadiness of dull decorum about the tribe, all the other evolutions of the opulent mediocracy. an affectation of rationality and a charming people” sort of
It is not to be supposed but the devil, viewing the paradise excellence, essentially different from the sprightliness of Mrs. Gore has pictured, should try to break in ; and the ball-haunters, and the brilliancy of genuine fashionables. temptation came, in right of sex, through Mary-Matilda. Fashionables and ball-haunters, of course, occasionally dine But it is a long story, though the short of it is, that Marriot, out; but they always remain distinct from the lumbering junior, who had cost Richard two thousand pounds at Ox. class of regular dinner-giving people.
ford, now married his fair cousin Clotilda, whose fifteen Mrs. Gore's Martindales were first-rate dinner givers. thousand pounds, added to his own fortune, made him a great Not a family in Harley Street “ did the thing in better which he repaired, launched out for a Spring dash, and
man in his county, and a somebody even in London, to style," and Richard was the happiest of loungers, thus pas- introduced Clotilda to his aunt Mrs. Richard, who detested sing his easy life :
them both most cordially. “ There was nothing so delightful to him as to saunter
She had always disliked Mr. Marriot as a presuming into his club, (a club well deserving the name of “ The Mil- consequential young gentleman: and now that he had lionary,'') and gossip tchow tchow with a knot of other assumed new dignity, both squirearchical and matrimonial, elderly gentlemen of equally gambouged complexion ;-to she prepared herself to dislike him more than ever. She hear and contribute to the last new rumours from Calcutta, would have borne almost any other relative of her hus. Madras, Bombay, Ceylon, the Mauritius, the Cape ;—to
band's. Poor William, the son of the Rev. Jacob, who was wonder over old jungle stories, and new romances concern
now married to one of his Millegan cousins, and settled as ing the cholera ;—to elephantize in Asiatic grandiloquence,
an under master at Charter-House School, was always revel in Asiatic reminiscences, and grow poetical concerning warmly, though patronizingly, welcomed in Harley Street ; the turbot and lobster-sauce of the preceding day, and the but Mr. and Mrs. Marriot, with their bright green carriage, anticipated haunch of the following. And then he loved to
and passion for finery and sight-seeing, were poor Mrs. wander up and down St. James's Street, linked by either Richard's aversion; or, as Liston says, “I may say her arm to some well-fed, well-dressed, middle-aged, iniddle- favourite aversion.” talented man; ready, like himself, to measure inch by inch,
Mrs. Marriot daily expecting an invitation to the Harwith Lilliputian labour, the last arguments of Peel, or the ley Street dinner parties, had her wedding dress of Urling's latest eloquence of Brougham; to sneer at Macaulay as a
lace, and her new pearls readiness, but none came; and theorist ; or break their heads against the cast-iron com
the Marriots were compelled to be inviters, and afford Mrs. pactness of an article by Fonblanque; to give their opin. Richard a signal triumph, by the complete failure of Cloions upon all things and all people as lengthily and empha- tilda in dinner-giving. tically as if they were worth listening to ; and to take
There was no cucumber for the salmon, although the their ease and their ice at Grange's, or their sandwich at
month of April was half over. The white soup tasted of the Cocoa Tree. Essentially a good-humoured, happy, and wash balls ; veal tendrons were made to match with sweethappy-making man, poor Richard Martindale, exulting in breads ; and the dish of a large boiled turkey was garnished comfort at home, and popularity abroad, was one of the most
with parsley sufficient to have decorated a jack-in-thecontented and inoffensive among the do-nothings of the green
An old fashioned blanc-manage was among the west end.
sweet dishes of the second course, and altogether the Even his wife,—who, as a very silly woman, with three dinner was a contemptible affair;—just such as night giggling sisters, four impudent brothers, and a spunging have been expected at the table of an attorney's daughter, father and mother, might have been expected to form some
whose experience did not exceed the apple-tart and custard drawback on his domestic enjoyments,-turned out far bet- delicacies of an election supper. ter than could have been anticipated; for, following the
But if, by the supercilious way in which she raised her destinies of her sex, she was fated to behold a little Rich- eye-glass to her eye, to investigate the arrangements of the ard Martindale arrive so soon after a little Grinderwell, table, Mrs. Martindale contrived to excite the choler of her a little George so shortly after little Richard,--and a little niece, Clotilda managed shortly to return the compliment, Clara, Maria, and Sophia, in the three following years, that
and with compound interest. She had invited to meet the she had no leisure to do more than sit at the head of Ri.
of consequence of her own family, the wochard's dinner-table, and exhibit her expansive person at a
man of consequence of her own neighbourhood.
The few annual balls in the neighbourhood of Portland Place.
Welbeck Street party consisted, in addition to the four Her eldest sister had married the Grinderwell curate; Anne Martindalians, of Mr. Blickling, the county member, and had eloped with an Irish lieutenant of infantry; and Julia the Hon. Mrs. Blickling his wife; a Mr. and Mrs. Clehad become the wife of a General MacGlashun, chief agent verley, of Poplar Grove, in the same neighbourhood : be of Bolivar, or prime minister of the Cacique of Poyais, or
sides two Honourable Mowbrays, a younger Marriot, sa Chancellor of the Exchequer at Lima, or some such apocrye lege friends of the host. In such a circle, the Richard
man of wit and fashion about town,) and one or two col; phal dignity, whom she met at Bath, and with whom sh shortly afterwards sailed for South America ;-but Mrs'
Martindales had very little to say. There was no opporMartindale had very little share in promoting either of tunity for orientalisms from uncle Richard, or nursery these three suitable alliances. On her own account, too, anecdotes from his lady; nothing was discussed but the she had given up all interest in the attractions of captains agricultural interests and Hertfordshire topics ; and instead of hussars, lancers, or dragoons, carabineers, fusileers, or
of Portland Place balls, Wimpole Street concerts, and the fencibles; and, following the usual routine of an empty beauties of the new Easter piece, Mr. and Mrs. Richaru wer headed, hollow-hearted woman, had laid aside the coquette compelled to hear of Hatfield, Gorhambury, Panshanger, to become the dawdle. Although still devoted to dress, her and the theatricals of the Hoo.