Lring in, at once, the gout fanatic,
And make the war "la dernière mode".
Instantly, at the Pavillon Marsan,
Is held an Ultra consultation--
What's to be done, to help the farce on?
What stage-effect, what decoration,
To make this beauteous France forget,
In one grand, glorious pirouette,
All that she swore to but last week,
And, with a cry of "Magnifique!"
Rush forth to this, or any war,
Without inquiring once-" What for?"
After some plans proposed by each,
Lord Châteaubriand made a speech,
(Quoting, to show what men's rights are,
Or rather what men's rights should be,
From Hobbes, Lord Castlereagh, the Czar,
And other friends to Liberty,)
Wherein he having first protested
'Gainst humouring the mob-suggested
(As the most high-bred plan he saw
For giving the new War éclat)
A grand, Baptismal Melo-drame,
To be got up at Notre-Dame,
In which the Duke (who, bless his Highness!
Had by his hilt acquired such fame,
'Twas hoped that he as little shyness
Would show, when to the point he came,)
Should, for his deeds so lion-hearted,
Be christened Hero, ere he started;
With power, by Royal Ordonnance,
To bear that name-at least in France.
Himself-the Viscount Châteaubriand-
(To help the affair with more esprit on)
Offering, for this baptismal rite,
Some of his own famed Jordan water
(Marie Louise not having quite
Used all that, for young Nap, he brought her,)
The baptism, in this case, to be
Applied to that extremity,
Which Bourbon heroes most expose;
And which (as well all Europe knows)
Happens to be, in this Defender
Of the true Faith, extremely tender.+
Or if (the Viscount said) this scheme
Too rash and premature should seem—
* Brought from the river Jordan by M. Châteaubriand, and presented to the French Empress for the christening of young Napoleon.
† See the Duke's celebrated letter to Madame, written during his campaign in 1815, in which he says, "J'ai le postérieur légèrement endommagé."
If thus discounting heroes, on tick—
This glory, by anticipation,
Was too much in the genre romantique
For such a highly classic nation,
He begged to say, the Abyssinians
A practice had in their dominions,
Which, if at Paris got up well,
In full costume, was sure to tell.
At all great epochs, good or ill,
They have, says Bruce (and Bruce ne'er budges
From the strict truth), a grand Quadrille
In public danced by the Twelve Judges
And, he assures us, the grimaces,
The entre-chats, the airs and graces
Of dancers, so profound and stately,
Divert the Abyssinians greatly.
"Now (said the Viscount), there's but few
Great Empires, where this plan would do:
For instance, England;-let them take
What pains they would-'twere vain to strive→
The twelve stiff Judges there would make
The worst Quadrille-set now alive.
One must have seen them, ere one could
Imagine properly Judge Wood,
Performing, in his wig, so gaily,
A queue-de-chat with Justice Bailey!
French Judges, though, are, by no means,
This sort of stiff, be-wigged machines!
And we, who've seen them at Saumur,
And Poitiers lately, may be sure
They'd dance quadrilles, or anything,
That would be pleasing to the King-
Nay, stand upon their heads, and more do,
To please the little Duke de Bordeaux !"
After these several schemes there came
Some others-needless now to name,
Since that, which Monsieur planned, himself,
Soon doomed all others to the shelf,
And was received par acclamation,
As truly worthy the Grande Nation.
It seems (as Monsieur told the story)
That Louis the Fourteenth, that glory,
That Coryphée of all crowned pates,—
That pink of the Legitimates-
Had, when, with many a pious prayer, he
Bequeathed unto the Virgin Mary
* "On certain great occasions, the twelve Judges (who are generally between sixty and seventy years of age) sing the song and dance the figure-dance," &c.
His marriage deeds, and cordon bleu,*
Bequeathed to her his State Wig too-
(An offering which, at Court, 'tis thought
The Virgin values as she ought)—
That Wig, the wonder of all eyes,
The Cynosure of Gallia's skies,
To watch and tend whose curls adored,
Re-build its towering roof, when flat,
And round its rumpled base, a Board
Of sixty Barbers daily sat,+
With Subs, on State-Days, to assist,
Well pensioned from the Civil List :-
That wond'rous Wig, arrayed in which
And formed alike to awe or witch,
He beat all other heirs of crowns,
In taking mistresses and towns,
Requiring but a shot at one,
A smile at t'other, and 'twas done !—
'That Wig" (said Monsieur, while his brow
Rose proudly,) "is existing now ;-
That Grand Perruque, amid the fall
Of every other Royal glory,
With curls erect survives them all,
And tells in every hair their story.
Think, think, how welcome at this time
A relic, so beloved, sublime!
What worthier standard of the Cause
Of Kingly Right can France demand?
Or who among our ranks can pause
To guard it, while a curl shall stand?
Behold, my friends "—(while thus he cried,
A curtain, which concealed this pride
Of Princely Wigs was drawn aside)
See that august Perruque-how big
With recollections for the world-
For France for us-Great Louis' Wig
By Hippolyte‡ new frizzed and curled-
New frizzed! alas, 'tis but too true,
Well may you start at that word new-
But such the sacrifice, my friends,
The Imperial Cossack recommends ;
* "Louis XIV. fit présent à la Vierge de son cordon bleu, que l'on conserve soigneusement, et lui envoya ensuite, son Contrat de Mariage et le Traité des Pyrénées, magnifiquement relié."-Mémoires, Anecdotes pour servir, &c.
The learned author of Recherches Historiques sur les Perruques says that the Board consisted but of Forty-the same number as the Academy. "Le plus beau tems des perruques fut celui où Louis XIV. commenca à porter, luimême, perruque; . . . On ignore l'époque où se fit cette révolution; mais on sait qu'elle engagea Louis le Grand à y donner ses soins paternels, en créant, en 1656, quarante charges de perruquiers, suivant la cour: et en 1673, il forma un corps de deux cents perruquiers pour la Ville de Paris."-P. 111.
A celebrated Coiffeur of the present day.
Thinking such small concessions sage,
To meet the spirit of the age,
And do what best that spirit flatters,
In Wigs-if not in weightier matters.
Wherefore, to please the Czar, and show
That we too, much-wronged Bourbons, know
What liberalism in Monarchs is,
We have conceded the New Friz!
Thus armed, ye gallant Ultras, say,
Can men, can Frenchmen, fear the fray?
With this proud relic in our van,
And D'Angoulême our worthy leader,
Let rebel Spain do all she can,
Let recreant England arm and feed her.-Urged by that pupil of Hunt's school,
That Radical, Lord Liverpool
France can have nought to fear-far from ir-
When once astounded Europe sees
The wig of Louis, like a Comet,
Streaming above the Pyrenees,
All's o'er with Spain-then on, my sons,
On, my incomparable Duke,
And, shouting for the Holy Ones,
Cry Vive la guerre-et la Perruque!
EXTRACTED FROM THE JOURNAL OF A TRAVELLING MEMBER OF THE POCO-CURANTE SOCIETY, 1819.
Different Attitudes in which Authors compose.-Bayes, Henry Stephens, Herodotus, &c.-Writing in Bed-in the Fields.-Plato and Sir Richard Blackmore.-Fiddling with Gloves and Twigs.-Madame de StaëlRhyming on the Road, in an old Calèche.
WHAT various attitudes and ways,
And tricks, we authors have in writing!
While some write sitting, some, like Bayes,
Usually stand, while they're inditing.
Poets there are, who wear the floor out,
Measuring a line at every stride;
While some, like Henry Stephens, pour out
Rhymes by the dozen, while they ride.*
Herodotus wrote most in bed;
And Richerand, a French physician,
Declares the clock-work of the head
Goes best in that reclined position.
If you consult Montaigne+ and Pliny on
The subject, 'tis their joint opinion
That Thought its richest harvest yields
Abroad, among the woods and fields;
That bards, who deal in small retail,
At home may, at their counters, stop;
But that the grove, the hill, the vale,
Are Poesy's true wholesale shop.
Pleraque sua carmina equitans composuit. -Paravicin. Singular.
+ "Mes pensées dorment, si je les assis.'
-Montaigne. Animus eorum qui
in aperto aere ambulant, attollitur. Pliny.
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