O, what peace we often forfeit, O, what needless pain we bear, Everything to God in prayer. "Are we weak and heavy hauen, When I reached thus far in the investigations of the establishment of the "Tribunal of Penance," as to its Divine institution by Jesus Christ and as to its necessity for sinful man, having carefully re-read once again the arguments, and realising that my days as a conscientious expounder of the Roman position were numbered; that the irresistible logic of facts, of cool and deliberate reason, united to a single and simple purpose of heart, viz., ascertaining the "Light," had prevailed; that now I would have to bid for ever a pitiful "farewell" to the Church of my fathers, I arose from my desk settled, steadied and determined to leave my future destiny unreservedly in the hands of God, fully confident that as He led me thus far on the peril ous and painful road which I never dreamt I would walk, He would not desert me, but would conduct me, weary and spent as I was, to the Pastures where Refreshment and Peace and "Light" abounded. The last of the great barriers was scaled, and with the others, was in ruins for ever. The most enchaining of the Major Reasons of my secession could no longer make good its claims, and in God's own time I retired at last, a "Free Christian,' ah, but I confess not without many further agonies of mind and heart, of care and solicitude; of forethought and preparation! When all was done that forethought could suggest, and the preparations were complete, though so complex and unusual, and the hour was come to sever the bond and murmur the "au revoirs" that were truly everlasting "farewells," my soul was broken, and as I drove away tears of blood dropped from my heart and streams of a great regret and love flowed as I looked for the last time in the faces of my Brother Monks, and then amid my pains I prayed as I believe only the Christ could have prayed in His bitter anguish and love on the Cross"Father, forgive them; they know not what they do." Oh, the soul-rending grief; yet what a mask and a mystery! Yet there were not wanting smiles and pleasantries in bountiful exchange between us, as if to torture me all the more, and as though my very heart had not been through the ordeal of fire already, and even still was in the midst of the flames and smokes, in which were being consumed the labours and studies, the aspirations and hopes, the ideals and beliefs, the associations and remembrances, the honours and trusts, the friendships and the loves of forty years of Roman Catholicism and sixteen and a half of strict Monasticism. CHAPTER XXII. IT THE CONFESSION OF FAITH OF COUNT PIERO GUICCIARDINE. T has been a life-long habit of mine to haunt old libraries and second-hand book shops, and the more mildewed and silver-fished the volume the more interest it holds for me, and if its age runs into three figures, I historically adore it. I came across many rare "gems" in this way. One of the rarest was a copy called "The Christian Treasury," published by Johnstone & Hunter, 26 Paternoster Row, London, 1849. It was literally in rags, but it was a "find," a surprise and a revelation. I am getting together a fairly sound and up-to-date library, but there is hardly a volume on my shelves which I take down more frequently, fruitfully, gratefully, and tenderly, too. One day, when in the throes of spiritual and controversial combat with my own soul, for relief and change I took down my old weather-beaten warrior, "The Christian Treasury," and, listlessly turning over the leaves and scanning easily the titles of the various subjects, this arrested my attention, "The Confesion of Faith of Count Piero Guicciardini," which I give here in extenso. It held me, as I hope it will hold all who are weakening in their allegiance to the Roman Form of Christianity. "Dear Brethren in the Lord Jesus Christ.—For more than two years I have been associated with some of you searching and meditating on the Holy Scrip tures to know and (by means of prayer) to obtain that faith which saves in Jesus Christ our Lord. Most of you have been used to attend in our meetings from time to time not invited by anyone, but rather drawn by a Divinely-inspired desire to seek after the Truth. Thus, we did not refuse the Son of God, and being nearer subjects of the Divine mercy, we admired His work in the increase and in the prosperity of our assemblies, which have abounded in the grace and peace of the Lord Jesus. But the superior powers and governments often wish to resist the Lord, who, although He is the strongest, sometimes permits that His servants be led into affliction, in order that their Faith be tested, and His Holy Name be confessed before men and glory rendered to the Most High (Acts iv.: 1-31; v.: 17, 10; 1 Peter iv.: 12-16). It is, therefore, no matter of wonder if we are at once made to suffer persecution, and if external force, prevent us from hearing and preaching the Gospel, and that even the Bible itself should be wrested out of all our hands. "You know that together with a great number of our fellow citizens I have been subjected to this kind of renewed inquisition which attempts to bind our consciences as well as our persons. But as in the sight of God and in consideration of my social position, I do not believe it my duty to submit to this, I have resolved rather to quit voluntarily this unhappy country, in order to enjoy liberty of action, fulfil my duties, and satisfy my conscience. And, knowing how much interest you take in me, I gladly acknowledge my debt of gratitude and answer to your sympathy by leaving you this letter of farewell, which, together with the accompanying paper, containing a record of what has passed from day to day, may serve to show you that the cause I am pursuing is justifiable. To you who know better than any others the depth of my mind, because of our common bonds in the Lord, I am peculiarly happy in addressing myself in order to call you to witness to the intolerance of Romanism and of despotism, which have compelled me to adopt the hard resort of abandoning my beloved country, while I entertain the confident assurance that I have not done wrong to anyone; that I have respected the laws; that I have exhorted to obedience to authorities, and have myself given the example; that I have spoken of that Sacrifice whose blood was shed for the remission of sins; that I have not been ashamed to act according to the will of God, even when the prevailing passion of the times has driven many out of the right way; that I have never desired riches or honours, and that I have not offered money or flattery to any of you to entice you to the Faith of Jesus Christ. Thus, in leaving this, my earthly country, in forsaking every worldly interest, the dear ties of kindred, the comforts of friendship and the hallowed intercourse which I have had with you all, I feel that I am under the protection and the power of my God. I enjoy peace of conscience and assurance of eternal life, not because I am doing anything to merit it, but because Christ is the Resurrection and the Life. (John xi.: 25.) "For your comfort who remain can encourage you to maintain your confidence; for the Lord will still be with you, in time to come, and will continue to give you, as He has given in times past, means of edification and of confirmation in those Holy Truths. And you may, therefore, be sure, remembering that Christ Himself is that Good Shepherd who gave His life for the sheep, and that He will ever feed them with His Divine Word. (Psalm xxiii.; John xi.: 1-29.) "And while I intend to accompany you in every |