SCENE I-A public Place.

Enter a Merchant, ANGELO, and an Officer. Mer. You know, since Pentecost the sum is due, And since I have not much impórtuned you; Nor now I had not, but that I am bound To Persia, and want gilders for my voyage: Therefore make present satisfaction, Or I'll attach you by this officer.

Ang. Even júst the sum that I do owe to you, Is growing to me by Antipholus;

And in the instant that I met with you,
He had of me a chain; at five o'clock
I shall receive the money for the same:
Pleaseth you walk with me down to his house,
I will discharge my bond, and thank you too.

Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus, and DROMIO of Ephesus.

Offi. That labour may you save: see where

he comes.

I pray you, see him presently discharged,
For he is bound to sea, and stays but for it.

Ant. E. I am not furnished with the present

money;

Besides, I have some business in the town: Good signior, take the stranger to my house, And with you take the chain, and bid my wife Disburse the sum on the receipt thereof; Perchance I will be there as soon as you.

Ang. Then you will bring the chain to her yourself?

Ant. E. No; bear it with you, lest I come not time enough.

Ang. Well, sir, I will have you the chain about you?

Ant. E. An if I have not, sir, I hope you have; Or else you may return without your money.

Ang. Nay, come, I pray you, sir, give me

the chain;

Both wind and tide stays for this gentleman, And I, to blame, have held him here too long. Ant. E. Good lord, you use this dalliance to

excuse

Your breach of promise to the Porcupine:
I should have chid you for not bringing it,
But, like a shrew, you first begin to brawl.
Mer. The hour steals on: I pray you, sir,

despatch.

Ang. You hear how he impórtunes me; the chain

Ant. E. Why, give it to my wife, and fetch your

money.

Ang. Come, come, you know, I gave it you

even now:

Either send the chain, or send me by some token.

Ant. E. Fie! now you run this humour out of breath:

Come, where's the chain? I pray you let me see it.

Mer. My business cannot brook this dalliance: Good sir, say whe'r you 'll answer me or no; If not, I'll leave him to the officer.

Ang. The money that you owe me for the chain.

Ant. E. I owe you none till I receive the chain. Ang. You know I gave it you half an hour since.

Ant. E. You gave me none; you wrong me much to say so.

Ang. You wrong me more, sir, in denying it: Consider how it stands upon my credit.

Mer. Well, officer, arrest him at my suit.
Offi. I do; and charge you, in the Duke's
name, to obey me.

Ang. This touches me in reputation:-
Either consent to pay this sum for me,
Or I attach you by this officer.

Ant. E. Consent to pay thee that I never had! Arrest me, foolish fellow, if thou dar'st.

Ang. Here is thy fee; arrest him, officer:I would not spare my brother in this case, If he should scorn me so apparently.

Offi. I do arrest you, sir; you hear the suit. Ant. E. I do obey thee till I give thee bail:But, sirrah, you shall buy this sport as dear As all the metal in your shop will answer.

Ang. Sir, sir, I shall have law in Ephesus, To your notorious shame, I doubt it not.

And that shall bail me: hie thee, slave; be gone. On, officer, to prison, till it come.

[Exeunt Merchant, ANGELO, Officer, and ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus.

Dro. S. To Adriana! that is where we dined, Where Dowsabel did claim me for her husband: She is too big, I hope, for me to compass. Thither I must, although against my will, For servants must their masters' minds fulfil. [Exit.

SCENE II.-The same.

Enter ADRIANA and LUCIANA. Adr. Ah, Luciana, did he tempt thee so? Might'st thou perceive austerely in his eye That he did plead in earnest, yea or no?

Look'd he or red, or pale; or sad, or merrily? What observation mad'st thou in this case, Of his heart's meteors tilting in his face?

Luc. First, he denied you had in him no right. Adr. He meant, he did me none; the more my spite.

Luc. Then swore he that he was a stranger here. Adr. And true he swore, though yet forsworn he were.

Luc. Then pleaded I for you.

Adr. Where is thy master, Dromio? is he well? Dro. S. No, he 's in Tartar limbo, worse than hell:

A devil in an everlasting garment hath him,
One whose hard heart is buttoned up with steel;
A fiend, a fairy, pitiless and rough;
A wolf, nay, worse, a fellow all in buff;

A back-friend, a shoulder-clapper, one that countermands

The passages of alleys, creeks, and narrow lands; A hound that runs counter, and yet draws dryfoot well;

One that, before the judgment, carries poor souls to hell.

Adr. Why, man, what is the matter?

Dro. S. I do not know the matter; he is 'rested on the case.

Adr. What, is he arrested? tell me at whose suit?

Dro. S. I know not at whose suit he is arrested, well;

But he's in a suit of buff which 'rested him, that can I tell :

Will you send him, mistress, redemption; the

It was two ere I left him, and now the clock strikes one.

Adr. The hours come back! that did I never hear.

Dro. S. O yes: if any hour meet a sergeant, 'a turns back for very fear.

Adr. As if time were in debt! how fondly dost thou reason!

Dro. S. Time is a very bankrupt, and owes

more than he's worth, to season. Nay, he's a thief too: have you not heard men say That time comes stealing on by night and day? If he be in debt, and theft, and a sergeant in the

way,

Hath he not reason to turn back an hour in a day?

Enter LUCIANA.

Adr. Go, Dromio; there's the money, bear it straight;

And bring thy master home immediately.Come, sister; I am pressed down with conceit; Conceit, my comfort and my injury. [Exeunt.

SCENE III.-The same.

Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Syracuse.

Ant. S. There's not a man I meet, but doth salute me

As if I were their well-acquainted friend;
And every one doth call me by my name.
Some tender money to me, some invite me;
Some other give me thanks for kindnesses;
Some offer me commodities to buy:
Even now a tailor called me in his shop,
And shewed me silks that he had bought for me,
And, therewithal, took measure of my body.
Sure these are but imaginary wiles,
And Lapland sorcerers inhabit here.

Enter DROMIO of Syracuse.

Dro. S. Master, here's the gold you sent me for what, have you got rid of the picture of old Adam new apparelled?

Ant. S. What gold is this? What Adam dost thou mean?

your liberty.

Dro. S. Not that Adam that kept the paradise, but that Adam that keeps the prison: he that goes in the calf's-skin that was killed for the prodigal; he that came behind you, sir, like an evil angel, and bid you forsake Ant. S. I undersand thee not. Dro. S. No? why, 't is a plain case: he that went like a base-viol, in a case of leather; the man, sir, that, when gentlemen are tired, gives them a fob, and 'rests them; he, sir, that takes pity on decayed man, and gives them suits of durance; he that sets up his rest to do more exploits with his mace than a morris-pike.

Ant. S. What! thou mean'st an officer?

Dro. S. Ay, sir, the sergeant of the band; he that brings any man to answer it that breaks his band; one that thinks a man always going to bed, and says, "God give you good rest!"

Ant. S. Well, sir, there rest in your foolery. Is there any ship puts forth to-night? may we be gone?

Dro. S. Why, sir, I brought you word an hour since, that the bark Expedition put forth tonight; and then were you hindered by the sergeant, to tarry for the hoy Delay. Here are the angels that you sent for, to deliver you.

Ant. S. The fellow is distract, and so am I, And here we wander in illusions: Some blessed power deliver us from hence!

Enter a Courtesan.

Court. Well met, well met, master Antipholus. I see, sir, you have found the goldsmith now: Is that the chain you promised me to-day? Ant. S. Satan, avoid! I charge thee tempt me not!

Dro. S. Master, is this mistress Satan?
Ant. S. It is the devil.

Dro. S. Nay, she is worse, she is the devil's dam; and here she comes in the habit of a light wench; and thereof comes that the wenches "God damn me;" that's as much as to say say "God make me a light wench." It is written, they appear to men like angels of light light is an effect of fire, and fire will burn; ergo, light wenches will burn. Come not near her.

Court. Your man and you are marvellous merry, sir.

Will you go with me? We'll mend our dinner here. Dro. S. Master, if you do, expect spoon-meat, or bespeak a long spoon.

Ant. S. Why, Dromio?

Dro. S. Marry, he must have a long spoon that must eat with the devil.

Ant. S. Avoid then, fiend! What tell'st thou me of supping?

Thou art, as you are all, a sorceress.
I conjure thee to leave me and be gone.

Court. Give me the ring of mine you had at dinner,

Or, for my diamond, the chain you promised; And I'll be gone, sir, and not trouble you.

Dro. S. Some devils ask but the paring of one's nail,

A rush, a hair, a drop of blood, a pin,

A nut, a cherry-stone; but she, more covetous, Would have a chain.

Master, be wise; an if you give it her,

The devil will shake her chain, and fright us with it.
Court. I pray you, sir, my ring, or else the chain;

I hope you do not mean to cheat me so.
Ant. S. Avaunt, thou witch! Come, Dromio,

let us go.

Dro. S. Fly, pride, says the peacock: mistress, that you know.

[Exeunt ANTIPHOLUS of Syracuse and DROMIO of Syracuse. Court. Now, out of doubt, Antipholus is mad, Else would he never so demean himself: A ring he hath of mine worth forty ducats, And for the same he promised me a chain; Both one and other he denies me now. The reason that I gather he is mad (Besides this present instance of his rage), Is a mad tale he told to-day at dinner, Of his own doors being shut against his entrance. Belike his wife, acquainted with his fits, On purpose shut the door against his way. My way is now to hie home to his house, And tell his wife that, being lunatic,

SCENE IV.-The same.

Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus, and an Officer. Ant. E. Fear me not, man, I will not break away; I'll give thee, ere I leave thee, so much money To warrant thee, as I am 'rested for. My wife is in a wayward mood to-day, And will not lightly trust the messenger. That I should be attached in Ephesus, I tell you, 't will sound harshly in her ears.

Enter DROMIO of Ephesus, with a rope's-end. Here comes my man; I think he brings the money. How now, sir? have you that I sent you for? Dro. E. Here's that, I warrant you, will pay them all.

Ant. E. But where's the money?

Dro. E. Why, sir, I gave the money for the rope.
Ant. E. Five hundred ducats, villain, for a rope?
Dro. E. I'll serve you, sir, five hundred at
the rate.

Ant. E. To what end did I bid thee hie thee
home?

Dro. E. To a rope's-end, sir; and to that end am I returned.

Ant. E. And to that end, sir, I will welcome [Beating him.

you.

Offl. Good sir, be patient. Dro. E. Nay, 't is for me to be patient; I am in adversity.

Offi. Good now, hold thy tongue.

Dro. E. Nay, rather persuade him to hold his

hands.

Ant. E. Thou whoreson, senseless villain! Dro. E. I would I were senseless, sir, that I might not feel your blows.

Ant. E. Thou art sensible in nothing but blows, and so is an ass.

Dro. E. I am an ass, indeed; you may prove it by my long ears. I have served him from the hour of my nativity to this instant, and have nothing at his hands for my service but blows. When I am cold, he heats me with beating: when I am warm, he cools me with beating. I am waked with it when I sleep; raised with it when I sit; driven out of doors with it when I go from home; welcomed home with it when I return. Nay, I bear it on my shoulders, as a beggar wont her brat; and I think, when he hath lamed me, I shall beg with it from door to door. Enter ADRIANA, LUCIANA, and the Courtesan, with PINCH and others.

Ant. E. Come, go along; my wife is coming yonder.

Dro. E. Mistress, respice finem, respect your end; or rather the prophecy, like the parrot, "Beware the rope's-end."

Ant. E. Wilt thou still talk? [Beats him. Court. How say you now? is not your husband mad?

Adr. His incivility confirms no less. Good Doctor Pinch, you are a conjuror; Establish him in his true sense again, And I will please you what you will demand. Luc. Alas, how fiery and how sharp he looks! Court. Mark, how he trembles in his ecstasy! Pinch. Give me your hand, and let me feel your pulse.

Ant. E. There is my hand, and let it feel your

Did this companion with the saffron face
Revel and feast it at my house to-day,
Whilst upon me the guilty doors were shut,
And I denied to enter in my house?

Adr. O husband, God doth know you dined at home,

Where' would you had remained until this time, Free from these slanders and this open shame! Ant. E. Dined at home! Thou villain, what say'st thou?

Dro. E. Sir, sooth to say, you did not dine at home.

Ant. E. Were not my doors locked up, and I

shut out?

Dro. E. Perdy, your doors were locked, and you shut out.

Ant. E. And did not she herself revile me there? Dro. E. Sans fable, she herself reviled you there. Ant. E. Did not her kitchen-maid rail, taunt, and scorn me?

Dro. E. Certes, she did; the kitchen-vestal

scorned you.

Ant. E. And did not I in rage depart from thence?

Dro. E. In verity you did: my bones bear witness, That since have felt the vigour of his rage.

Adr. Is 't good to soothe him in these contraries? Pinch. It is no shame; the fellow finds his vein, And, yielding to him, humours well his frenzy. Ant. E. Thou hast suborned the goldsmith to

arrest me.

Adr. Alas, I sent you money to redeem you, By Dromio here, who came in haste for it.

Dro. E. Money by me? Heart and good-will you might,

But surely, master, not a rag of money.

Ant. E. Went'st not thou to her for a purse

of ducats?

Adr. He came to me, and I delivered it.
Luc. And I am witness with her that she did.
Dro. E. God and the rope-maker bear me wit-

ness

That I was sent for nothing but a rope!

Pinch. Mistress, both man and master is pos

sessed;

I know it by their pale and deadly looks:
They must be bound, and laid in some dark room.
Ant. E. Say, wherefore didst thou lock me
forth to-day,

And why dost thou deny the bag of gold?

Adr. I did not, gentle husband, lock thee forth. Dro. E. And, gentle master, I received no gold; But I confess, sir, that we were locked out. Adr. Dissembling villain, thou speak'st false in both.

Ant. E. Dissembling harlot, thou art false in all; And art confederate with a damnéd pack, To make a loathsome, abject scorn of me: But with these nails I'll pluck out these false eyes, That would behold me in this shameful sport. [PINCH and his Assistants bind ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus and DROMIO of Ephesus. Adr. O, bind him, bind him, let him not come

near me.

Pinch. More company: the fiend is strong within him.

Luc. Ah me, poor man, how pale and wan he looks!

Ant. E. What, wilt thou murder me? Thou gaoler, thou,

I am thy prisoner; wilt thou suffer them
To make a rescue?

Offi.

Masters, let him go:

He is my prisoner, and you shall not have him.
Pinch. Go, bind this man, for he is frantic too.
Adr. What wilt thou do, thou peevish officer?
Hast thou delight to see a wretched man
Do outrage and displeasure to himself?

Offi. He is my prisoner: if I let him go,
The debt he owes will be required of me.

Adr. I will discharge thee, ere I go from thee: Bear me forthwith unto his creditor, And, knowing how the debt grows, I will pay it. Good master Doctor, see him safe conveyed Home to my house.-O most unhappy day! Ant. E. O most unhappy strumpet! Dro. E. Master, I am here entered in bond for you.

Ant. E. Out on thee, villain! wherefore dost thou mad me?