. Bian. I must believe my master; else, I promise you, I should be arguing still upon that doubt; My lessons make no music in three parts. Luc. Are you so formal, sir? Well, I must wait, And watch withal; for, but I be deceived, Our fine musician groweth amorous. [Aside. That Katharine and Petruchio should be married, And yet we hear not of our son-in-law: be forced To give my hand, opposed against my heart, sure. I told you, I, he was a frantic fool, Hiding his bitter jests in blunt behaviour: He'll woo a thousand, 'point the day of marriage, Make friends, invite, yes, and proclaim the banns; Upon my life Petruchio means but well, [Exit, weeping, followed by BIANCA and others. Bap. Go, girl; I cannot blame thee now to weep; For such an injury would vex a saint, Enter BIONDello. Bion. Master, master! news, old news, and such news as you never heard of. Bap. Is it new and old too? how may that be? Bion. Why! is it not news to hear of Petruchio's coming? Bap. Is he come? Bion. Why, no, sir. Bap. What then? Bion. He is coming. Bap. When will he be here? Bion. When he stands where I am, and sees you there. Tra. But say what :-to thine old news. Bion. Why, Petruchio is coming, in a new hat and an old jerkin; a pair of old breeches thrice turned; a pair of boots that have been candlecases, one buckled, another laced; an old rusty sword ta'en out of the town armoury, with a broken hilt, and chapeless; with two broken points: - his horse hipped with an old mothy saddle, the stirrups of no kindred: besides, possessed with the glanders, and like to mose in the chine; troubled with the lampass, infected with the fashions, full of windgalls, sped with spavins, rayed with the yellows, past cure of the fives, stark spoiled with the staggers, beknawn with the bots; swayed in the back, and shouldershotten; ne'er-legged before, and with a halfchecked bit, and a head-stall of sheep's leather; which, being restrained to keep him from stumbling, hath been often burst, and now repaired with knots; one girth six times pieced, and a woman's crupper of velure, which hath two letters for her name, fairly set down in studs, and here and there pieced with packthread. Bap. Who comes with him? Bion. O, sir, his lackey, for all the world caparisoned like the horse; with a linen stock on one leg, and a kersy boot-hose on the other, gartered with a red and blue list; an old hat, and "The humour of forty fancies" pricked in 't for a feather: a monster, a very monster, in apparel; and not like a Christian footboy, or a gentleman's lackey. Tra. 'Tis some odd humour pricks him to this fashion; Yet oftentimes he goes but mean apparelled. Bap. I am glad he is come, howsoe'er he comes. Bion. Why, sir, he comes not. Bap. Didst thou not say he comes? Bap. Ay, that Petruchio came. Bion. No, sir; I say, his horse comes with him on his back. Bap. Why, that's all one. Bion. Nay, by St. Jamy, I hold you a penny A horse and a man is more than one, and yet not many. Enter PETRUCHIO and GRUMIO. Pet. Come, where be these gallants? who's at home? Bap. You are welcome, sir. Bap. Why, sir, you know this is your weddingday: First were we sad, fearing you would not come; Tra. And tell us what occasion of import Hath all so long detained you from your wife, And sent you hither so unlike yourself? Pet. Tedious it were to tell, and harsh to hear: Sufficeth I am come to keep my word, As you shall well be satisfied withal. robes; Go to my chamber, put on clothes of mine. Pet. Not I, believe me; thus I'll visit her. Bap. But thus, I trust, you will not marry her. Pet. Good sooth, even thus; therefore have done with words; To me she's married, not unto my clothes: [Exeunt PETRUCHIO, GRUMIO, and Tra. He hath some meaning in his mad attire: We will persuade him, be it possible, To put on better, ere he go to church. Bap. I'll after him, and see the event of this. [Exit. Tra. But, sir, to her love concerneth us to add Her father's liking: which to bring to pass, I am to get a man,-whate'er he be It skills not much; we'll fit him to our turn, And he shall be Vincentio of Pisa, Luc. Were it not that my fellow-schoolmaster Tra. That by degrees we mean to look into, And watch our vantage in this business: We'll overreach the greybeard, Gremio; Re-enter GREMIO. Signior Gremio, came you from the church! Gre. A bridegroom, say you? 't is a groom indeed, A grumbling groom, and that the girl shall find. Tra. Curster than she? why, 't is impossible. Gre. Why, he's a devil, a devil, a very fiend. Tra. Why, she's a devil, a devil, the devil's dam. Gre. Tut! she's a lamb, a dove, a fool to him. I'll tell you, Sir Lucentio: when the priest Should ask if Katherine should be his wife, "Ay, by gog's-wouns," quoth he; and swore so loud, That, all amazed, the priest let fall the book; That down fell priest and book, and book and priest; "Now take them up," quoth he, "if any list." Tra. What said the wench, when he arose again? Gre. Trembled and shook; for why, he stamped As if the vicar meant to cozen him. "A health," quoth he; as if he had been aboard, Having no other reason, But that his beard grew thin and hungerly, That, at the parting, all the church did echo. Enter PETRUCHIO, KATHARINA, BIANCA, BAP- I know you think to dine with me to-day, Bap. Is't possible you will away to-night? Kath. I will be angry. What hast thou to do? Father, be quiet; he shall stay my leisure. Gre. Ay marry, sir: now it begins to work. Kath. Gentlemen, forward to the bridal dinner: I see a woman may be made a fool, If she had not a spirit to resist. Pet. They shall go forward, Kate, at thy command: Obey the bride, you that attend on her; SCENE I.-A Hall in PETRUCHIO's Country House. Enter GRUMIO. Gru. Fie, fie, on all tired jades, on all mad masters, and all foul ways! Was ever man so beaten? was ever man so rayed? was ever man so weary? I am sent before to make a fire, and they are coming after to warm them. Now, were not I a little pot and soon hot, my very lips might freeze to my teeth, my tongue to the roof of my mouth, my heart in my belly, ere I should come by a fire to thaw me: but I, with blowing the fire, shall warm myself; for, considering the weather, a taller man than I will take cold. Holla, hoa! Curtis! Enter CURTIS. Curt. Who is that calls so coldly? Gru. A piece of ice: if thou doubt it, thou mayst slide from my shoulder to my heel, with no greater a run but my head and my neck. A fire, good Curtis. Curt. Is my master and his wife coming, Grumio? Gru. O ay, Curtis, ay: and therefore fire, fire; cast on no water. Curt. Is she so hot a shrew as she's reported? Gru. She was, good Curtis, before this frost: but thou know'st winter tames man, woman, and beast; for it hath tamed my old master, and my new mistress, and myself, fellow Curtis. Curt. Away, you three-inch fool! I am no beast. Gru. Am I but three inches? why, thy horn is a foot; and so long am I, at the least. But wilt thou make a fire, or shall I complain on thee to our mistress, whose hand (she being now at hand) thou shalt soon feel, to thy cold comfort, for being slow in thy hot office. Curt. I pr'y thee, good Grumio, tell me how goes the world? Gru. A cold world, Curtis, in every office but thine; and therefore, fire: do thy duty, and have thy duty; for my master and mistress are almost frozen to death. Curt. There's fire ready; and therefore, good Grumio, the news? Gru. Why, "Jack boy! ho boy!" and as much news as thou wilt. Curt. Come, you are so full of coney-catching :Gru. Why therefore, fire; for I have caught extreme cold. Where's the cook? Is supper ready, the house trimmed, rushes strewed, cobwebs swept; the serving-men in their new fustian, their white stockings, and every officer his wedding-garment on? Be the jacks fair within, the jills fair without, the carpets laid, and everything in order? Curt. All ready; and therefore, I pray thee, news? Gru. First, know my horse is tired; my master and mistress fallen out. Curt. How? Gru. Out of their saddles into the dirt: and thereby hangs a tale. Curt. Let's ha't, good Grumio. |