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were born for. There was nothing else ears were utterly unconscious of the in nature in their eyes. People were sounds they produced—I fell into a kind created but to dance and die. The of conscious stupor, a waking vision, a world itself had been for ages past per- delusion of the senses.
A film grew forming a minuet with the sun, and ap- over my mind, and obscured its perceppeared at that moment to be waltzing tions. My imagination seemed to have away with the moon !
been let on a building lease, and fabrics My fingers and my faculties began to of a most fantastic architecture were rebel. I continued to play, however, everywhere springing up on its surface. though I could perceive the incipient I could not help fancying that I had been symptoms of daylight just breaking playing there for many years without through the window-curtains. I wished once leaving off, and that the company a vast number of things the principal had continued dancing for the same and most preposterous of which was, length of time. I endeavoured in vain that they would give over. I wished to recollect at what period I had comthat handsome women were prohibited menced my performance, but I could by Act of Parliament, or that boarding- pot divest my mind of a belief that half school beauties, in their eighteenth a century had elapsed since I began. year, were human beings - as in that Glancing at a mirror opposite to me, I case some small degree of pity might perceived that I looked alarmingly oldbe expected from them. The lamps and that my whiskers were quite grey, and candles were burning low - I fancied of more than military dimensions. I they began to burn blue ! How I wished observed also that my coat was fearfully that, by some necromantic misfortune, unfashionable in its cut, and as shabby there might be no more oil or long- as a member of parliament's that has fours in the house! I ardently longed been twice turned. My hat, I conjece for the appearance of an apparition or tured, must be the only part of my apa housebreaker. Jack Sheppard and parel that was not worn out. The por. the Hammersmith ghost came alter- tion of my dress nearest to the seat, had nately into my mind, and I wished that suffered severely. The very horse-hair we hait all been born in an earlier era. was peeping out of the cushion. The Hope would not then have been so dress and appearance of all around me utterly hopeless. It seemed just possi. had likewise undergone a change for the ble that the kitchen chimney might worse. The long-flounced drapery, and catch fire ;-what a relief would that large loose hanging sleeves--the starchhave been to the fever under which I ed cravats and pigeon-tailed dress-coats was suffering! I prayed fervently that gave the figure à most odiously antithe mistress of the
house might find the quated effect. Seen through the telesfatigue too much for her; a fainting fit cope of time, nothing could be more would have administered much consola- outré and ridiculous. Fancy how the tion to me particularly if there were fashions in “ La Belle Assemblée' will no sal volatile to be had. I wished most look fifty years hence, and then imagine especially that her husband would get my amusement in contemplating the cross and sleepy. And then my imagi- scene around me. nation would settle again upon those I could not account to myself for this lovely but provoking pests—those laugh- singular delusion but by supposing that ing, persevering plagues, who were the we had all been so much interested in the real movers of my misery, and whom I festivities, that months had imperceptibly heard every instant proposing some new passed on, and we had counted them as mode of torturing me and prolonging minutes. Still, however, they continued the time. It was clear that, having the dancing, but I consoled myself by repersons, they considered themselves en- flecting that it could not last much lontitled to the privileges of angels, and had ger, as the charms of the females were consequently mistaken time for eternity. rapidly fading away, their cheeks being I hoped that their brothers and uncles already pale with age and fatigue-their might be desperately alarmed at their tresses, whether raven or auburn, restay; or that Queen Mab might pay a quiring the magical and gloss-giving aid visit to their grandmothers, frightening of Rowland—and their few remaining them with dreams of elopements, and teeth beginning to ache- - so that no handsome clerks with eighty pounds per longer able to show off,” they would
soon cease to have any reasonable moAt last, worn out with incessant ex- tive for prolonging the dance. As for ertion, and overpowered with sleep the other portion of the party, I could down to my fingers'-ends — that con- easily perceive that they did not caper tinued to touch the keys, though my about with their former ease and alacrity.
Their youthful harlequinism had turned But my attention was soon called to into a very Grimaldi-like old age. The the state of public affairs, and I began gout had done wonders. They limped to marvel as to the improvements that through the figures like people gallop had been effected and the changes that ading over burning ploughshares ; and, had happened during the period of my in spite of every effort to disguise it, it trance. My first conjecture was — was clear that their imaginations were whether the National Debt and the settling very comfortably into easy chairs Pimlico Palace were still standing : or and velvet caps.
They seemed to treat had Rothschild paid the one out of his their legs with particular tenderness and own pocket, as an acknowledgment for indulgence, and were evidently longing the admission of himseli and his people to put their feet into wool. I could see into parliament; Nash being condemnvery well where the shoe pinched, and ed to inhabit the other through all eterhow they gilded every twinge with a nity, as a punishment for building it. smile. There was a little girl-one of I took some pains to calculate how. the musical marvels with which every many new worlds Mr. Buckingham had private family abounds — who had been discovered in the course of his voyage fondly forced by considerate parents and round this ; an excursion undertaken admiring friends to sing every thing, with so much regard to the interests of from the Tyrolese air to Tom Bowling, science, and with such manifest indifin the earlier part of the evening; and ference and detriment to his own. I there to my imagination she stood, in wondered also whether there was any the same spot-ogling what had been one in existence that recollected who an agile young ensign when he entered Mr. Milton Montgomery was ; the room, but who was now probably a whether the exact extent of and duracorpulent colonel without being at all tion of a modern immortality had been aware of the change. , I could not but finally fixed ! Had the nation begun to smile, amidst all my anxieties and un. like music, or did they only patronize easiness, when, reflecting on the gay, it! Had Liston really assumed, on his airy, tripping step that had distinguish. retirement, the honours of the baronetcy ed every one on entering, I anticipated (I tried to imagine a Sir John Liston) a view of their approaching exit, hob- to which rumour had assigned him the bling and humiliated. A feeling of re- right; and had the mariner-monarch, venge sweetened my regret, as I pic. King William, called Mr. T. P. Cooke tured one of the most youthful of my to the peerage, as a reward for his tatormentors, dim and decrepit, leaning lent in the personation of nautical for support on the arm of a tender ju- characters, and making the navy popuvenile, who was obliged to send the ser- lar! I felt a desire to know whether vant for a stick to sustain him.
Sir Francis Burdett had ever ascertainIn contemplating the changes that had ed the difference between water and taken place in others, I was not unmind- prussic-acid ; and how many revolutions ful of myself. And here the first thing had taken place in St. Giles's since 1830! that occurred to me was-what would Whọ was Lord Mayor—and were statemy wife say to me for my long absence! carriages drawn by steam! I indulged The reflection that followed this was in a momentary surmise whether steam -and I felt the piano tremble beneath had been rendered applicable to the purthe violence occasioned by the over. poses of public orations, by bringing one whelming idea-perhaps she had elop- vapour to act upon another; and whether ed! This, indeed, appeared the more La Porte had introduced it into the probable to my apprehension, as fortune Opera to give effect to the chorusses, had blessed me with a very intimate and to relieve the wind-instruments. friend. Perhaps—the thought was suc- Had the works of any more of our poceeded by a strange mixture of sensa. pular authors been advertised at halftions, perhaps my poor wife was dead! price! I hoped that the army had re--and by some extraordinary association covered from the shock which it susof circumstances, I immediately seemed tained in the loss of its mustachios. Had to shake off my years, and to assume the North-West Passage been discover something like the semblance of juveni. ed !-if so, had Sir Edward Parry, or lity. I could not help indulging a hope any navigator in the ocean of human that, amidst the wreck of my property, nature, found out--and here my my favourite violin had been preserved. mind rambled over an infinite catalogue I wondered moreover whether my eldest of desiderata, comprising the integrity of boy's voice had turned out a tenor, and a stock-jobber, the independence of a whether the other had left off playing state-pensioner, the morality of an acon the jew's-harp.
tress, the skill of a self-taught curer of consumptions, the enlightenment of his
A LUNATIC LAY patients, the unimpeachable honour of a " Adieu my Moustachios ! farewell to my Tip! representative, the incorruptible honesty Adieu my moustachios, farewell to my tip, of an elector, the diffidence of a coun- Lost, lost is the pride of my chin and my lip, sellor, the disinterestedness of a sub
His majesty wills it, like Samson I'm cropt,
And the killing career of Adonis is stopt; scriber to public charities, the meek
The razors are ruthless, my honours they nip, heartedness of a judge, the sincerity of Adieu my moustachios, farewell to my tip. a saint, the dignity of a city magistrate, Alas! what avails the loud clank of my spurs, the love of criticism of an artist, the What signify tassels, and feathers, and furs; conscience and classic taste of a govern
The padding above that the waist may look slim,
The trouser's compress'd to exhibit the limb; ment architect, the humour of a trans- My form I no longer exulting equipa lator of farces, the anything of a fash- Adieu my moustachios, farewell to my tip. ionable novelist, the- But I broke I know they deride a commander who stoops
To cull foreigu fashions to deck British troops; off, as I do now, in the middle; I had
But surely the biggest look rather more big stumbled over more improbabilities than In moustachios and tip-like a judge in his wig; the most sagacious expounder of mys
I know I look small with iny sword on my hip; teries, the most enthusiastic supporter When Lanra last saw me, she owu'd that the
Adieu my moustachios, farewell to my tip. of the Society for the Diffusion of
world Knowledge, could hope to discover be- Contained no moustachios só charmiugly curl'd; tween this and the millennium. A thous- She thought my bead foreign, and unlike the
skull and questions started up involuntarily, of the money-bag, mercantile fellow, John pressing for answers on all subjects, Bull; from poetry to pugilism. Every thing But now she will call me " contemptible rip!"
--Adieu my moustachios, farewell to my tip. had acquired an interest from time—the
I went to the levee both pensive and pale-. most trivial objects had become hallow
I felt like a puppy-dog robh'd of his tail; ed in my absence. How anxiously I The duke eyed me coldly when notice I craved, longed to see the times “ Times :" even -Ah, would he had seen me before I was
shaved; the advertisements would have been
And as I kissed hands, I'm afraid I let slip welcome.
“Adieu my moustachios, farewell to my tip." From this dream, or whatever it may Oh, at a mess dinner, how graceful to dip be called, I was at length aroused by My napkin, and wipe off the mers from my lip; the actual breaking up of the party. The hair that grew on it was steep'd in each dish, They were positively going:
And nourish'd by grary-soup-sauces of fish
They are gone-and my claret I pensively sip :glimpses at first, and then full views, Adieu my moustachios, farewell io my tip. of hats and cloaks—my dungeon-bolts They were red—and I dyed them, and now at were withdrawn. Alas! I felt myself
the stain in the situation of the “Prisoner of
Which remains on the skin I scrub daily-in Chillon,” so affectingly described by our The hair is shaved off, but a something is seen great poet. I had become so accus
Which I fear may be thovght to look rather
unclean. tomed to my confinement, that I was
I hope it don't look like a chimney-sweep's lipalmost indifferent to release - and at Adieu my moustachios, farewell to my tip. length
My principal reason, I frankly confess,
For being a soldier at all-- was the dress; “Regained my freedom with a sigh!"
The line on my lip, and the dot on my chin,
Became ine-the change is a borrid take inI resembled a person that was so ex- I might just as well now have gone on board ship, ceedingly hungry that he had lost his Adieu my moustachios, farewell to my tip. appetite. I would as soon stay as go. I know that they deem it unmanly to weep I had no relish for home-indeed I had the star of my beauty is lost in eclipse;' almost forgotten the way to it. With I'll sit in seclusion and sigh for hair-lips ! some difficulty I succeeded in tracing it The tears down my nose now incessantly dripout, and reached it in time for breakfast.
Adieu my moustachios, farewell to my tip.
New Monthly Magazine. There, faithful as the eggs and coffee themselves, presided my wife, who, notwithstanding my friend, had never even
PATRIOTIC PROPENSITIES.* dreamed of eloping. The girls were as
I go twice a-year to political dinners. guiltless of marriage, and the boys as
D- the cause of the people! what care I for innocent of music as when I left them.
that? One of them was spoiling my favourite Purer motives gnide me than your liberal
sinners; violin and a newly-published air at the When I go it is only to get-a new hat. same moment; and the other was, as
Literary Gazelte. usual, playing the jew's harp to a fa
* Dear Sir,- I went to a public dinner, and vourite poodle, who sat shaking his ears
had my hat exchanged for one which I doubt not over it with all the solemnity of a pro- is water-proof, since it is thoroughly lined with oundly fashionable critic at a compo
grease; the above tetrastic I believe to be pen
ned by the gentleman who deprived me of my sition of Handel's.- Monthly Mag. best “ Bishnell,'- The Writer.
the place of rendezvous, (whither we I HATE your phrenology: no help it lends were attracted by smoke issuing through To tell why our critic so oft cuts his friends. Cuts down our pretensions, cuts up all our
the door,) we discovered a number of books
rats boiling the potatoes in a large iron Phrenology knows not, 'tis told in his looks.
pot; some were stirring the fire, and 'Tis not that his bumps are unusually big,
the rest eating them with salt, out of a For Spurzheim in eagerness tore oft bis wigTis not that he's saturnine, sanguine or yellow; salt-cellar, which one of the rats had 'Tis his features denote a sharp, hatchet faced been seen to carry, a short time before, fellow:
out of the kitchen.” W. G, C,
PHILOLOGICAL PUZZLE. “WAY plate all your shutters, and make your SEVENTY-Two different words may be
bars broader ? What new whim is this, is it fear or caprice ?"
made from the word strange; the fol“ 'Tis the former, I own: for I do it in order lowing are fifty-eight of the number :With better effect to keep out-the Police."
Art, anger, are, agent, age, ate, ant, at, Ilid.
an, as, ear, eat, east, great, gate, gnat,
get, gear, grate, grant, garnet, gas, VERSATILITY OF TALENT.
agnes, net, nest, near, neat, nag, range, “ I PLAY on the fiddle, the flute, and the harp ;
On the horn and the barpsichord, none reach rest, ran, rag, rate, rat, rent, rage, my level,"
sage, sane, sent, sea, star, set, sat, seat, “Very fine, my good friend; and add also to stage, sear, stag, stern, sang, snare,
these, That you oft play the lyre, the fool, and the
stare, tare, tear, tan, ten, tar, tea, tag. devil." Ibid.
J. B. N.
In a gentleman's garden at Brentwood, A snapper up of unconsidered trifles.
Essex, under an hour-glass, in « grotto, near the water.
This babbling stream not uninstructive The Mall is so denominated from the
flows, game of Mall (Pall Malle, or Palle
Nor idly loiters to its distant main : Maille-Pallere Malleo, to strike with a
Each flower it feeds that on its margin mallet), an amusement in which Charles
grows, greatly indulged and excelled. In that
And bids thee blush, whose days are game, a round bowl, or large ball, being
spent in vain. struck by a heavy bat, was sent through Nor void of moral, tho’unheeded glides an iron ring of considerable diameter, Time's current stealing on with silent mounted on a high poll, usually placed at haste, the end of an alley of trees, as was the For lo ! each falling sound his solly case in St. James's Park, the middle chides, walk whereof was carefully strewed with Who lets one precious moment run to cockle-shells, which, when properly ma
C. K-Y W, naged, produce a very hard smooth surface. To conduct this business, Charles
OBSTINACY. actually created the important and dig- HAKEWELL, in his Apology, &c. tells nified office of Cockle-strewer !
us, “ Notwithstanding the service was
read in Latin, yet so little was that unA RAT STORY.
derstood, that an old priest in the time “The cunning of rats is surprising,” of Henry VIII. read "Mumpsimus Dosaid a gentleman, in company, “ for mine for Sumpsiņus. . And being adhaving missed upwards of a hundred monished of it, he said, he had done weight of potatoes from my cellar, in so for 30 years, and would not leave one night, and being at a loss to find his old Mumpsimus for their new Sumpout the thief, I thought of going to a
P. T. W. back shed, where, perhaps, they might be hid previous to their final removal, Ar a dinner of the African Institution, when I discovered the whole of the po- one of the toasts intended to be given tatoes, which had been carried there by was « The health of King Henry of the rats, and they were feasting on their Hayti,” which the person who was to plunder." “ I remember it perfectly announce it to the company, and who well, gentlemen,” said one of the party, had never heard of such a personage, “ for I went with my friend in search of converted into “ The health of Henry the stolen property, when on entering the Eighth,”
PATE OF SOVEREIGNS.
A LEVEE OF KINGS.
BEER AND GIN.
SIR JOSHUA REYNOLDS,
" FINE" ART. (For the Mirror.)
A LADY, with a party at the Dulwich I received the following anecdote illus- Ostade from a Wouvermans, and replied
Gallery, was asked if she could tell an trative of the kindness and good-nature « No! but I can tell a Teniers from of this great painter, from Mr. Wil. Both." liamson the artist, a schoolfellow of the person mentioned ; if you think it worthy a place in your interesting pages, Mary died on the scaffold; Elizabeth it is at your service. R. Roppe.
of a broken heart; Charles V. a hermit; In the year 1790, a youth of the Louis XIV. a bankrupt in means and name of Buckingham, a scholar at Mr. glory; Cromwell of anxiety; and,“ the King's academy, Chapel-street, Soho, greatest is behind,” Napoleon a prisoner. pręsuming upon his father's knowledge of Sir Joshua Reynolds, asked the president if he would draw him a flag for It is said that on the day previous to the the next breaķing-up; Sir Joshua told battle of Actium, Mark Antony had him if he would call at a certain time, thirteen kings at his levee. he would see what he could do. The youth went accompanied by his schoolfellow, Williamson, when Sir Joshua LORD BYRON tells us, that the most presented him with a flag about a yard beautiful women he ever beheld, (and square, on which he had painted the he had some experience) he saw levelking's coat of arms; this flag was carried ling the road broken down by the torwith the breaking-up to the Yorkshire rents of Delvinachi and Libochabo, in Știngo, an honour to the boys, and a
Albania. still greater honour to him who painted it, and gave up his valuable time to pro:
GRECIAN BURIAL. mote their holiday amusements. It was not always the custom of the
Greeks to burn their dead; the great
Almost all the chiefs became gods after The following verses are copied from lected, who had not annual games near
their decease, and he was indeed négbeneath Hogarth's engravings of “Beer his tomb, or festivals in honour of his Street and Gin Lane.'
memory by his countrymen, as Achilles, Beer.
Brasidas, &c, and at last even Antinous,
whose death was as heroic as his life Beer ! happy produce of our isle,
“ I had known him ten years, the better Labour and art upheld by thee,
half of his life, and the happiest part of Successfully advance,
mine."- Lord Byron. We quaff thy balmy juice with glee ; And, water leave to France.
BENEFIT OF ABBREVIATION. Genius of health ! thy grateful taste The brother of Praise-God-Barebones Rivals the cup of Jove,
wrote his name thus :-“ If-the-Lord. And warmıs each English generous breast
help-me-not-l-am-damned ; but, for With liberty and love.
shortness, he was commonly called Gin.
“ Damned Barebones.' Gin! cursed fiend with fury fraught, Makes human race a prey,
There is a town in America, Lynn, in It enters by a deadly draught,
Massachusetts, of which all are shoeAnd steals our life away.
makers. There are more than 5,000 in
habitants, who make annually 1,200,000 Virtue and truth, driven to despair,
or 1,400,000 pairs of shoes, valued at Its rage compels to fly,
1,000,000 dollars. The women of Lynn But cherishes with hellish care
earn 60,000 dollars a year by binding Theft, murder, perjury.
shoes.- French Paper. Damn'd cup that on the vitals preys, That liquid fire contains,
Printed and Published by J. LIMBIRD, 143, Which madness to the heart conveys,
Strand, (near Somerset House, London; sold
by ERNEST FLEISCAER, 626, New Market, And rolls it through the veins,
Leipsic; and by all Newsmen and Booksellert,
LOSS OF A FRIEND.