Take off, Nincompoop, the cover, lay all to view that I may furvey the whole, 'this fide,' that fide, infide, outside, forefide, backfide, in and out, round about, fo that I may fatiate the fenfe of fight, the fenfe of fmell, the fenfe of tafte, the fenfe of feeling, and you explaining the rarities this delicious banquet is compofed of, my fenfe of hearing may be feafted, and by thefe five conductors convey the whole into the heart, which being intoxicated and overcharged with fovereign and fubftantial delights, the whole man may be drowned in an ocean of pleafure and voluptuous fweetnefs. Oh! I die in foft repofe.

Hoft. These are rarities juft arrived in one of our hips from the Weft-Indies, which I procured, being full flavoured, made into a ragout; it has been fimmering twelve hours, fo that you will perceive it flip down without notice as quick-filver.

Luther. Rarities of rarities, exquifitely, completely, and curioufly rare: this is beyond any delight I ever feafted on. Truely you prize the Indies, both East and West, the paramount of pleasure and every endearment, all productions large and ftrong, no little puny, pigmy, weak, infipid, or imperfect growths, as is produced in our untoothfome zone; but the whole and every part or parcel thereof, fills the mind and heart with the whole apparatus of the human animal with a glut of delights.

Hoft. The inland in the middle is a fuperannuated Mufcovy drake, the only piece of poultry the fhip brought home; being originally ftrong,

ftrong, the failors fpared its life; four lizards, preserved; three rats, a good bit of a preserved yellow fnake, whofe fmell is both powerful and lafting; twelve large cockroaches, two Guinea pigs, foufed, with a pint and half of fharks oil, extracted from the liver, far exceeding whaleoil, both for richness and ftrong flavour.

Luther. A death ftroke in the fummit of extacy; have I banquetted upon mandrakes, and the balfam of life abfent; can I enjoy, and Rachel, lovely nymph, not prefent; this shall never be; take it hence, whilst I lose my breath and die: fouls, we learned wits have none. O mandrakes and cockatrices, fcripture rarities: how sweet art thou with the whole, a compofition worthy praife.

both

Hoft. Your reverence ftands not in need of a mefs-mate, you made clean platters before the love fit came on you; you act wifely.

Luther. What can't be cured, may be endured.

My dear will you be faithful, a Swifs bears the character of fidelity; I am to make you my my confidant, to affift in profecuting thefe ef fential projects; if through your affiduity we obtain our great wifh, you will labour merito

riously,

riously, and no doubt will applaud yourself. The first is, you know Calvin has treated your department of Proteftantifm, being trained a Calvinift, what you are I prefume; and under your roof, to the great difhonour of your houfe has turned papift. You fay he has put himself in a convent of friars at Bruffels; he can never more return to Scotland, the Scotch would hang him up to the first gibbet that prefented itfelf: he has a fmall eftate in Scotland of about three hundred per annum, and money in the funds that brings him about two hundred more; fo that the whole in his gift is rated at five hundred, hard money, per year: he was never married; it is true he has five fifters who he keeps in indolence through his fupineness, and in a little time may be the means of afflicting them with the gout, ftone, and even death, if I do not take this charity upon myself to correct this growing evil: my friendship though abused, can fuffer no abatement; therefore, to affift me in this donation to himfelf and fifters, you will with every expedition leave no ftone unturned, until you bring him to a proper fenfe of his duty to God and his neighbour; and make him have drawn and executed a title to me of his property, both real and perfonal, my heirs and affigas for ever: be cautious, receive no gratuity, as you will be fatisfied with the merit conferred on you. My fecond injunction is, that you will make use of every fubtilty to get the affignment compleat from Mofes to me, of his monies in the English funds; what he has lodged here, or any other ftraggling

fraggling fums, for any matter, caufe, or thing whatsoever, or whenfoever. A third is, you will make diligent fearch for a fon of mine who has turned Roman Catholic, broke his uncle's heart; but before his death my rafkallion abfconded: his uncle adopted him his fole heir, by which he is entitled to the family eftate of twelve hundred per year, and ten thousand in ftock, which altogether is a pretty thing, no debts.

Hoft. What would you have me tranfact with your fon when I have found him, if he is to be found.

Lutber. Frighten him with threats of confication and reprobation; he has, and ftands guilty of the moft heinous crime against the laws and conftitution of Great Britain, therefore, infift on his immediately affigning the whole, as far as his non-age will permit, to me, my heirs and affigns for ever; and an oath when he attains the age of twenty-one years, that he will confirm and establish my vitle.

Hoft. You fay Calvin and your fon by becoming Roman Catholics have forfeited their rights and privileges as fubjects, and are outlaws, and non-protected mifcreants; if this be the misfortune of thofe two, what threat have you to frighten Mofes into your defigns.

Luther. Jews and Fapifts are almost in the fame predicament, being the only two that adhere to the old antedeluvian fcrip ures, by which jargon they bind the fenfes and keep them captives; fo that our enlightened age is ftill fhaded from the brains of the generality of

the

the middling clafs of the human race, and lower and ignorant likewife.

Hoft. This character to ftigmatize the Britifh conftitution and laws, are diametrically oppofite to the name it maintains in the large world; which is a fyftem of lenity, freedom, and protection to mankind in general and particular: I cannot, you must excufe me, fuppofe your country wears the counterfeit face of peace and liberty, and within her bofom conceal a dagger of the most black hue, to fhackle, fetter, chain, and entangle the confciences of their fellow creatures; a direct carte-blanche to our holy religion: never mention it, for I have had the honour to attend in my life a number of English gentlemen, who, were you, though as you have given yourself out for the bishop of Canterbury, would hustle you, if you were not of fo enormous a bulk, in a blanket. There is not a nation who bears that exalted character, and more jealous of their liberty of confcience, than the English. England never can fuffer fo grofs an infult, to form men into hypocrites.

Luther. I hope nincom-poop, fcaramouch, faucy-box, buffoon, fcare-crow, pigmy, barbarian, favage, cruel and uncultivated villain, to lay the charge of combing mens confciences, and entangling their brains with fetters; uncivilized morality and inhumanity. I declare I have-it is better in than out; however, I will cease my severity, or you may put an end to your existence, and I go fupperlefs to bed, which would not be the moft jocular compa