What should I fay, more? then turne ftone with

wonder!

NAS. I neuer faw this play bred all this tumult. What was there in it could so deeply offend?

And stirre so many hornets? AVT. Shall I tell you? NAS. Yes, and ingenuously. AVT. Then, by the hope,

Which I preferre vnto all other obiects,

I can profeffe, I neuer writ that peece
More innocent, or empty of offence.

55

60

Some falt it had, but neyther tooth, nor gall,
Nor was there in it any circumstance,

65

Which, in the setting downe, I could fufpect
Might be peruerted by an enemies tongue.
Onely, it had the fault to be call'd mine.

That was the crime. POL. No? why they, say you
tax'd

I vi'd no name. My Bookes haue ftill beene taught

The Law, and Lawyers; Captaines; and the Players
By their particular names. AVT. It is not fo.

70

To fpare the perfons, and to speake the vices.
These are meere flanders, and enforc'd by such
As haue no fafer wayes to mens disgraces,
But their owne lyes, and loffe of honesty.
Fellowes of practif'd, and most laxatiue tongues,
Whose empty and eager bellies, i' the yeere,
Compell their braynes to many defp'rate fhifts,
(I spare to name 'hem: for, their wretchedneffe,
Fury it felfe would pardon.) Thefe, or fuch
Whether of malice, or of ignorance,

Or itch, t'haue me their aduerfary (I know not)
Or all these mixt; but fure I am, three yeeres,

They did prouoke me with their petulant stiles
On euery stage: And I at last, vnwilling,

But weary, I confeffe, of so much trouble,

Thought, I would try, if shame could winne vpon 'hem.

55 more, than 1692+

56 saw] say N

breed 1716

75

80.

85

And therefore chofe AVGVSTVS CAESARS times,
When wit, and artes were at their height in Rome,

90

To fhew that VIRGIL, HORACE, and the reft
Of those great master-spirits did not want
Detractors, then, or practifers against them:
And by this line (although no paralel)

I hop'd at last they would fit downe, and blush.
But nothing could I finde more contrary.
And though the impudence of flyes be great,
Yet this hath so prouok'd the angry waípes,

95

[351] Or as you fayd, of the next neft, the hornets;

That they fly buzzing, mad, about my noftrills:

And like fo many fcreaming graffe-hoppers,

100

Held by the wings, fill euery eare with noyse.

And what? thofe former calumnies you mention'd.

First, of the Law. Indeed, I brought in OVID,

Chid by his angry father, for neglecting

The study of their lawes, for poetry:

105

And I am warranted by his owne wordes:

Sape pater dixit, ftudium quid invtile tentas?
Mæonides nullas ipfe reliquit opes.

Trift. lib. 4. Eleg. 10.

And in farre harsher termes elsewhere, as these :
Non me verbofas leges edifcere, non me
Ingrato voces proftituiffe foro.

Amo. lib. 1. Eleg. 15.

But how this fhould relate, vnto our lawes,
Or their iuft minifters, with least abuse,
I reuerence both too much, to vnderstand!
Then, for the Captaine; I will onely speake
An Epigramme I here haue made: It is
Vnto true Souldiers. That's the lemma.
Strength of my Countrey, whilst I bring to view
Such as are miffe-call'd Captaines, and wrong you,
And your high names; I doe defire, that thence,
Be nor put on you, nor you take offence:

Marke it.

113 their] the W, G

IIO

115

120

I fweare by your true friend, my Mufe, I loue
Your great profefsion, which I once did proue;
And did not fhame it with my actions, then,

No more then I dare, now, doe with my pen.
He that not trufts me, hauing vow'd thus much,
But's angry for the Captaine, fill: is fuch.
Now for the Players, it is true, I tax'd 'hem,
And yet, but fome; and those so fparingly,
As all the reft might haue fate ftill, vnquestion'd,
Had they but had the wit, or confcience,

125

130

To thinke well of themfelues. But, impotent they
Thought each mans vice belong'd to their whole tribe:
And much good doo't 'hem. What th'haue done
'gainst me,

I am not mou'd with. If it gaue 'hem meat,

135

Or got 'hem clothes. 'Tis well. That was their end.
Onely amongst them, I am sorry for

Some better natures, by the rest so drawne,

To run in that vile line. POL. And is this all?'

Will you not anfwere then the libells? Avт. No.

POL. Nor the vntruffers?

Y'are vndone then.

140

AVT. Neither. POL.

AVT. With whom? POL. The world. AvT. The

baud! POL. It wil be taken

To be ftupidity, or tameneffe in you.

[352] Avт. But, they that haue incenf'd me, can in

foule

Acquit me of that guilt. They know, I dare
To fpurne, or baffull 'hem; or fquirt their eyes
With inke, or vrine: or I could doe woríe,
Arm'd with ARCHILOCHVS fury, write Iambicks,
Should make the defperate lafhers hang themfelues.
Rime 'hem to death, as they doe Irish rats
In drumming tunes. Or, liuing, I could stampe
Their foreheads with thofe deepe, and publike brands
That the whole company of Barber-Surgeons

145

150

136 well; that 1716, W, G well: that N

Should not take off, with all their art, and playsters.
And these my prints should last, still to be read

155

In their pale fronts: when, what they write 'gainst me,
Shall like a figure, drawne in water, fleete,
And the poore wretched papers be employed
To cloth tabacco, or fome cheaper drug.

This I could doe, and make them infamous.

160

But, to what end? when their owne deedes haue mark'd 'hem,

And, that I know, within his guilty brest

Each flanderer beares a whip, that shall torment him,

Worse, then a million of these temporall plagues:
Which to pursue, were but a feminine humour,
And, farre beneath the dignitie of a man.

165

NAS. 'Tis true: for to reuenge their iniuries, Were to confeffe you felt 'hem. Let 'hem goe, And vie the treasure of the foole, their tongues, Who makes his gayne, by speaking worst, of best. POL. O, but they lay particular imputationsAVT.

As what? Po. That all your writing, is meere rayling.

AVT. Ha! If all the falt in the old comady

Should be fo cenfur'd, or the sharper wit

Of the bold fatyre, termed fcolding rage,

What age could then compare with those, for buffons?
VVhat should be fayd of ARISTOPHANES?

PERSIVS? or IUVENAL? whofe names we now

So glorifie in schooles, at least pretend it.

170

175

Ha' they no other? POL. Yes: they say you are flow, 180 And scarfe bring forth a play a yeere. Avт. 'Tis true.

I would, they could not say that I did that,

There's all the ioy that I take i'their trade,

Vnleffe fuch Scribes as they might be profcrib'd

Th'abufed theaters. They would thinke it strange, now, 185 A man should take but colts-foote, for one day,

166 a] om. 1640+ 185 abused] absurd N

175 Satyr 1692, 1716

Satire W +

And, betweene whiles, fpit out a better poeme
Then e're the master of art, or giuer of wit,
Their belly made. Yet, this is poffible,
[353] If a free minde had but the patience,
To thinke fo much, together, and so vile.
But, that these base, and beggerly conceipts
Should carry it, by the multitude of voices,
Against the most abstracted worke, oppos'd
To the stuff'd noftrills of the drunken rout!
O, this would make a learn'd, and liberall foule,

190

195

To riue his ftayned quill, vp to the back,

And damne his long-watch'd labours to the fire;

Things, that were borne, when none but the still night,
And his dumbe candle faw his pinching throes:
Were not his owne free merit a more crowne
Vnto his trauailes, then their reeling claps.
This 'tis, that strikes me filent, feales my lips,

200

And apts me, rather to fleepe out my time,
Then I would waste it in contemned ftrifes,
With these vile Ibides, thefe vncleane birds,

205

That make their mouthes their clyfters, and still purge

From their hot entrailes. But, I leaue the monsters

To their owne fate. And, fince the Comick MVSE

Hath prou'd fo ominous to me, I will trie

210

If Tragedie haue a more kind aspect.

Her fauours in my next I will pursue,

Where, if I proue the pleasure but of one,

So he iudicious be; He fhall b'alone

A Theatre vnto me: Once, I'le fay,

215

To strike the eare of time, in those fresh straines,
As fhall, befide the cunning of their ground,
Giue caufe to fome of wonder, fome defpight,
And vnto more, despaire, to imitate their found.
I, that spend halfe my nights, and all my dayes,
Here in a cell, to get a darke, pale face,

202 Travels 1692, 1716

days W

220