thing'umies, and my table covered with whatdye-call-ums. I can do nothing with a good grace; even when I give money away, it is received not as a gift but a right, and, what is worse, no man ever supposes I give enough. My servants, whom I chose for no other qualification than that they had lived in great families, know my origin by my ignorance of what to order, or how to behave; and they rob me with impunity, because I am afraid to betray my want of knowledge in the science of perquisites. When in company with the great, I can perceive a difference which makes me shrink: I know that I am richer than some men of family whom I have the honour to entertain; but I can distinguish a superior respect paid to them, which I cannot purchase. And as to pedigree, it is what I must never talk about, unless in my stable; and there indeed I have horses descended in a direct bridle from some of the first jockies in the kingdom.

"I had often been told of the wonderful influence of a dinner, and I have repeatedly tried it. I give such dinners as princes of the blood might sit down to, but the more I lavish in this way the less credit I get. My friends eat my costly viands, and drink my wine at a guinea a bottle; and what is the consequence?

They immediately go to tell in their own circles of the time they remember when I was a decent joint-and-pudding man, and how they wonder where all this comes from! Then follows a dissertation upon good luck, and the intoxication which riches excite in weak heads. As to my wife, although she does every thing in the power of woman to please her friends, when she has a night, she is continually mortified by their whispers, as well as confounded when some good-natured visitor points out a blunder in our decorations, or some informality in the articles of the desert. Yet what would these unreasonable people have? Her coloured lamps are as numerous as those of a duchess: she loses her money with a far more willing mind; and, while our deserts are as copious as Covent-garden market can furnish, I assure you upon my honour there is not an article that is not too much out of season to be good for any thing. Yet all this will not procure us that certain something which RANK possesses; and the only compliment paid us is,

See what money can do!' Nay, we have sometimes overheard a proverb about the fate of certain persons when on horseback, how far they will ride, &c.

"If then, Mr. PROJECTOR, you can lay down rules for growing rich so gradually that the world shall not perceive that one has ever been poor; if you can instruct gentlemen in my situation how to lay out their property so as to have some little character in return; it will be one of the noblest Projects in your budget. If not, I shall begin to think my system is radically wrong; and that I ought to have begun by doing good, before I attempted to do great things.

"I am, Sir, yours,

" DIVES ET PAUPER."

THE PROJECTOR. No 11.

Pleasure,

That reeling goddess with the zoneless waist,
And wand'ring eyes, still leaning on the arm
Of Novelty, her fickle frail support.

Cowper.

November 1802.

Ir was one of the oldest complaints in the memoirs of murmuring, that "there is nothing new under the sun:" and for some thou

power,

sands of years it has been repeated from generation to generation, every last grumbler thinking he has a better title to make use of it than his predecessor. It is a complaint, however, which, if I had the I would permit none to use but the ablest Antiquaries, for they only have a right to tell us what is really old and what is really new. With the generality of mankind, old and new are relative terms confined to their short span of existence: what passed in their youth is old; and what occurs in their age must be new without any farther inquiry.

must own, plain that

very

But of all who complain of the want of novelty, there are perhaps none whose clamours are so loud as those who pass their lives in a continued demand for amusement, and who, I have had of late great reason to comlittle has been invented to relieve the burden of life, and employ that time which they suppose is given to them merely for the purpose of quick consumption. Whatever boast the present race of mankind may make of their improvements in useful arts and sciences, their invention seems to fail them the moment they attempt a new pastime; and `almost all that the utmost stretch of genius has effected is to introduce a few varieties in the

amusements of our ancestors, or occasionally to revive any one that may have become obsolete. To what purpose, then, do we take pride in our improvements in science? can a party of pleasure spend an evening at a manufactory? or is it in the power of steam to raise a laugh?

I was much struck with the barrenness of modern times in this respect a few nights ago, when, in pursuit of a different kind of knowledge, I happened to. light upon the origin of the greater part of those amusements which we employ against that dreadful enemy TIME; an enemy which (like another that might bẹ mentioned) aims at universal empire, and, unless a coalition be formed of a different kind from any that has yet been projected, will continue its cruelties and tyranny undisturbed.

I shall therefore briefly run over a few articles, not by way of disheartening the lovers of amusement, for surely they should rather have comfort administered, but in order to check the pride of those ministers of pleasure, whọ affect to be labouring in their vocation for our good, and producing every day something which they call new. At the same time, as impartial justice is due to all, I shall not omit