See Ar-d quits, for ways more cer
[tain, His bankrupt perj'ries for his fortune; Brews rum no longer in his store, Jockey and skipper now no more; Forsakes his warehouses and docks, And writs of slander for the pox, And, purg'd by patriotism from shame Grows Gen'ral of the foremost name.
* "Ar-d's perjuries at the time of his pretended bankruptcy, which was the first rise of misfortune; and his curious lawesuit against a brother skipper, who had charged him with having caught the above mentioned disease, by his connexion with a certain African princess in the WestIndies, with its humorous issue, are matters, not I believe so generally known, as the other circumstances of his public and private character.”
†“ M'Fingal having here inserted the names and characters of several great men, whom the public have not yet fully detected, it is thought proper to omit sundry paragraphs of his speech in the present
For in this ferment of the stream,
The dregs have work'd up to the brim,
And by the rule of topsy-turveys,
The skum stands swelling on the sur-
[face.
You've caus'd your pyramid t' ascend,
And set it on the little end;
Like Hudibras, your empire's made,
Whose crupper had o'er-topp'd his head
You've push'd and turn'd the whole
[world up-
Side down and get yourselves a-top:
While all the great ones of your state.
Are crush'd beneath the pop'lar weight;
Nor can you boast this present hour,
The shadow of the form of pow'r.
For what's your Congress,* or its end?
*The author here, in a true strain of patriotic censure, pointed out the principal defects in the first federal Constitution of the United States; all which have been since removed in the New Constitution, established in the year 1789. So that the prophecy below, You'll ne'er have sense enough to mend it, must be ranked among the other sage blunders of his second sighted hero.
A pow'r t' advise and recommend;
To call for troops adjust your quotas,
And yet no soul is bound to notice ;
To pawn your faith to th' utmost limit,
But cannot bind you to redeem it,
And, when in want, no more in them
Than begging of your state-assemblies; Can utter oracles of dread,
Like friar Bacon's brazen head;
But should a faction e'er dispute 'em,
Has ne'er an arm to execute 'em,
As though you chose supreme dictators,
And put them under conservators;
You've but pursued the self same way,
With Shakespeare's Trinclo in the play,
"You shall be viceroys here, 'tis true,
But we'll be viceroys over you."
What wild confusion hence must ensue,
Though common danger yet cements
[you!
So some wreck'd vessel all in shatters,
Is held up by surrounding waters,
But stranded, when the pressure ceases,
Falls by its rottenness to pieces :
And fall it must-if wars were ended,
You'd ne'er have sense enough to mend
But creeping on with low intrigues,
Like vermin of an hundred legs,
Will find as short a life assign'd,
As all things else of reptile kind.
Your Commonwealth's a common har
The property of ev'ry varlet,
Which now in taste and full employ,
All sorts admire as all enjoy ;
But soon a batter'd strumpet grown,
You'll curse and drum her out of town.
Such is the government you
chose;
For this you bade the world be foes;
For this so mark'd for dissolution,
You scorn the British constitution;
That constitution, form'd by sages,
The wonder of all modern ages :
Which owns no failure in reality,
Except corruption and venality;
And only proves the adage just,
That best things spoil'd, corrupt to
[worst;
So man, supreme in mortal station,
And mighty lord of this creation,
When once his corse is dead as herring,
Becomes the most offensive carrion
And sooner breeds the plague 'tis found,
Than all beasts rotting 'bove the ground
Yet for this gov'rnment, to dismay us,
You've call'd up anarchy from chaos,
With all the followers of her school,
Uproar, and Rage, and wild Misrule;
For whom this rout of Whigs distracted
And ravings dire of ev'ry crack'd head;
These new-cast legislative engines
Of country musters and conventions,
Committees vile of correspondence,
And mobs whose tricks have almost un-
[done's ;
While reason fails to check your course,
And loyalty's kick'd out of doors.
And folly, like inviting landlord,
Hoists on your poles her royal standard.
While the kings friends, in doleful
[dumps,
Have worn their courage to the stumps,
And leaving George in sad disaster,
Most sinfully deny'd their master.
What furies rag'd when you in sea,
In shape of Indians, drown'd the tea ;*
When your gay sparks fatigued to
[watch it,
* The persons who destroyed the cargo of Tea, above referred to, were disguised in the habits of Indians.
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