Act what ye are, nor dare to stain
The warrior's arms with touch profane:
There beg your more heroic wives
To guard your children and your lives;
Beneath their aprons find a screen,
Nor dare to mingle more with men.'
As thus he said, the Tories' anger Could now restrain itself no longer, Who tried before by many a freak, or Insulting noise, to stop the speaker; Swung th' unoil'd hinge of each pew
[door :
Their feet kept shuffling on the floor :
Made their disapprobation known
By many a murmur, hum or groan,
That to his speech supplied the place
Of counterpart in thorough-bass:
As bag-pipes, while the tune they breathe
Still drone and grumble underneath;
Or as the fan'd Demosthenes
Harangu'd the rumbling of the seas,
Held forth, with eloquence full grave,
To audience loud of wind and wave?
And had a stiller congregation
Than Tories are, to hear th' oration,
But now the storm grew high and louder
As nearer thund'rings of a cloud are,
And ev'ry soul, with heart and voice,
Supplied his quota of the noise ;
Each list'ning ear was set on torture,
Each Tory bell'wing out, To order :
And some, with tongue not low or weak,
Were clam'ring fast, for leave to speak;
The moderator with great vi❜lence,
The cushion thump'd with "Silence!
[silence !"
The constable to ev'ry prater
Some call'd the vote, and some, in turn,
Not chaos heard such jars and clashes
When all the el'ments fought for places.
Each bludgeon soon for blows was tim'd;
Each fist stood ready cock'd and prim'd;
The storm each moment louder grew:
His sword the great M'Fingal drew,
Prepar'd in either chance to share,
To keep the peace, or aid the war.
Nor lack'd they each poetic being,
Whom bards alone are skill'd in seeing;
Plum'd Victory stood perch'd on high,
Upon the pulpit-canopy
To join, as is her custom tried,
Like Indians on the strongest side;
The Destinies, with shears and distaff,
Drew near, their threads of life to twist
The furies 'gan to feast on blows,
And broken heads or bloody nose;
When on a sudden, from without,
Arose a loud terrific shout;
And straight the people all at once heard
Of tongues an universal concert ;
Like Esop's time, as fable runs,
When ev'ry creature talk'd at once;
Or like the variegated gabble
That craz'd the carpenters of Babel,
Each party soon forgot the quarrel,
And let the other go on parole;
Eager to know what fearful matter
Had conjur'd up such gen'ral clatter ;
And left the church in thin array,
As though it had been lecture-day,
Our'Squire M Fingal straitway beckon'd
The constable to stand his second,
And sallied forth, with
aspect fierce, The crowd assembled to disperse. The moderator out of view, Beneath a bench had lain perdue;
Peep'd up his head to view the fray,
Beheld the wranglers run away,
And, left alone, with solemn face,
Adjourn'd them without time or place.
NOW, arm'd with ministerial ire,
Fierce sallied forth our loyal 'Squire,
And on his striding steps attends
His desp'rate clan of Tory friends;
When sudden met his angry eye,
A pole ascending through the sky,
Which num'rous throngs of Whiggish
[race
Were raising in the market-place;
Not higher school-boys' kites aspire,
Or royal mast, or country spire,
Like spears at Brobdingnagian tilting,
Or Satan's walking staff in Milton;
And on its top the flag, unfurl'd,
Wav'd triumph o'er the prostrate world
Inscrib'd with inconsistent types
Of liberty and thirteen stripes.
Beneath, the crowd, without delay,
The dedication-rites essay,
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