New white-wash'd Hutchinson, and var
Our Gage, who'd got a little tarnish'd;
Made 'em new masks in time, no doubt,
For Hutchinson's was quite worn out;
And while he muddled all his head,
You did not heed a word he said.
Did not our grave *Judge Sewall hit
The summit of Newspaper wit?
Fill'd every leaf of every paper,
Of Mills, and Hicks, and mother Draper;
Drew proclamations, works of toil,
In true sublime of scare crow-stile;
Wrote farces too, 'gainst the Sons of
All for your good, and none would read ['em ; Denounc'd damnation on their frenzy, Who died in Whig impenitency; Affirm'd that Heav'n would lend us aid,
Attorney-General of Massachu-' setts Bay, a Judge of Admiralty, Gage's chief Advertiser and Proclamation-maker, author of a farce called the Americans Roused, and of a great variety of essays on the Ministerial side, in the Boston newspapers."
As all our Tory writers said;
And calculated so its kindness,
He told the moment when it join'd us."
""Twas then belike," Honorious cried
"When you the public fast defied;
Refus'd to Heav'n to raise a prayer,
Because you'd no connexions there:
And since, with rev'rend hearts and faces
To Governors you'd made addresses,
In them who made you Tories seeing
You liv'd and mov'd and had your being,
Your humble vows you would not breathe
To Pow'rs you'd no acquaintance with."
"As for your fasts," replied our
[Squire,
"What circumstance could fasts require?
We kept them not, but 'twas no crime;
We held them merely loss of time:
For what advantage firm and lasting,
Pray, did you ever get by fasting?
And what the gains that can arise
From vows and off'rings to the skies?
Will Heav'n reward with posts and fees,
Or send us Tea, as Consignees,*
* Alluding to the famous cargo of tea, which was sunk in Boston Harbour, the Consignees of which were the tools of Gen. Gage.
Give pensions, sal'ries, places, bribes, Or choose us judges, clerks, or scribes ; Has it commissions in its gift,
Or cash to serve us at a lift?
Are acts of Parliament there made,
To carry on the Placeman's trade?
Or has it pass'd a single bill
To let us plunder whom we will?
And look our list of Placemen all over ;
Did Heav'n appoint our chief judge Oliver
Fill that high bench with ignoramus;
Or has its councils by mandamus ?
Who made that wit of water-gruel,
A judge of Admiralty, Sewall?
And were they not mere earthly struggles
That rais'd up Murray, say, and Rug-
[gles? Did Heav'n send down our pains to
That old simplicity of Edson;
Or by election pick out from us,
That Marshfield blund'rer, Nat. Ray
Or had it any hand in serving
A Loring, Pepp'rell, Browne, or Erving? "Yet we've some saints, the very thing
* “ A proper emblem of his genius.“
We'll put against the best you'l bring;
For, can the strongest fancy paint
Than Hutchinson a greater saint?
Was there a parson us'd to pray
At times more regʻlar--twice a day—
As folks exact have dinners got,
Whether they've appetites or not?
Was there a zealot more alarming
'Gainst public vice to hold forth sermon,
Or fix'd at church, whose inward motion
Roll'd up his eyes with more devotion?
What Puritan could ever pray
In godlier tone than Treas'rer *Gray,
Or at town-meeting speechify'ing,
Could utter more melodious whine,
And shut his eyes and vent his moan,
Like owl afflicted in the sun?
Who once sent home, his canting rival,
Lord Dartmouth's self might out-be-dri-
[vel."
"Have you forgot," Honorius cried, "How your prime saint the truth defied,†
*"Treasurer of Massachusetts Bay, and one of the Madamus Council."
+ The detection of falsehood in Governor Hutchinson, here alluded to, is a curious little history. It is told at large in
Affirm'd he never wrote a line,
Your charter'd rights to undermine;
When his own letters then were by,
That prov'd his message all a lie ?
How many promises he seal'd
To get the oppressive acts repeal'd;
Yet, once arriv'd on England's shore,
Set on the Premier to pass more ?
But these are no defects, we grant,
In a right loyal Tory saint,
Whose godlike virtues must with ease
Atone such venal crimes as these:
Or ye perhaps in Scripture spy
A new Commandment, "Thou shalt lie;"
And if't to be so, (as who can tell?)
There's no one, sure, ye keep so well."
Quoth he, "For lies and promise-
[breaking
Ye need not be in such a taking;
For lying is, we know and teach,
The highest privilege of speech ;
The universal Magna Charta,
To which all human race is party;
Whence children first, as David says,
Lay claim to 't in their earliest days;
the Remembrancer, pablished by Almon, vol. I.
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