300

OPERA DISCOURTESIES.

intimately acquainted, or obstinately determined not to be acquainted at all-there is such an utter absence of any form of politeness in meeting, greeting, parting or passing by. A man in white gloves goes elbowing through the crowd, shoving and incommoding twenty people, without care or hesitation; another knocks your hat out of your hand, and never dreams of picking it up or begging pardon-a third intrudes upon two who are conversing, and perhaps takes the arm of one and draws him away, without the slightest excuse or acknowledgment to the other left behind a fourth is reminded by a polite foreigner that he is losing his handkerchief, or that another gentleman is beckoning to him, and expresses no thanks in return. There are no polite phrases to be overheard; no hats seen to be lifted; no smiles of courtesy or indications of respectfulness at the greetings of older men; and no sign of the easy and unconscious hilarity which marks a man not on the look-out for a slight—none of the features, in short, which make up the physiognomy of a well-bred crowd in an Opera-lobby of Europe.

We confine our remarks entirely, as will have been noticed, to such politenesses as are based on kindness and good feeling. We do not think any one country's customs are a law for another, in the decision of such questions as whether a gentleman may wear colored gloves at the Opera, or visit a lady's box in a frock-coat. Such trifles regulate themselves. We should be glad to see a distinctly American school of good manners, in which all useless etiquettes were thrown aside, but every politeness adopted or invented which could promote sensible and easy exchanges of good will and sociability. We have neither time nor space to say more of this, but will close with the mention of one very needful and

proper Operatic etiquette, which is either unknown or wholly disregarded by most of the frequenters of Astor Place.

An Opera-box is not a place for long conversations, or for monopoly of a lady's society. Even the gentleman who has the best claim to exclusive occupancy (from acknowledged precedence in favor), commits an indelicacy in proclaiming his privilege by using it in public. The Opera is a place for greetings, remindings, exchanges of the compliments of acquaintanceship, explainings of preventions or absences, making of slight engagementsfor the regulating and putting to right of the slighter wheels in the complicated machinery of society. It is a labor-saving invention of fashionable life-for, the twenty social purposes achieved in one evening at the Opera, and by which acquaintance is kept up or furthered, would require almost as many separate calls at the residences of the ladies. It is upon these grounds, doubtless, that was first based the common European etiquette of which we speak, viz:—that, after occupying a seat in a lady's Opera-box for a few minutes, the occupant gives it up at the approach of another of the lady's acquaintances, unless his rising from the seat is prevented by her express wish to the contrary. Husbands and brothers are included in this place-giving compulsion, for the best of wives require some variety to domestic bliss, and ladies come to the Opera to pay dues which they owe to society and acquaintance.

The chance Opera, at the Astor Place, last week, brought together a certain world-call it OCTOBER-DOM-for which we have yearly wondered that the Operatic Manager has not thought it worth his while to cater. Few of our own fashionables were present, and yet a more thoroughly fashionable audience was never assembled in that house. There were Virginians, Louisianians,

302

SOUTHERNERS IN NEW YORK.

Carolinians, Kentuckians and Washingtonians-the picked society of these Southern and Western latitudes-delighted that there was a foretaste of the Opera which was to commence after their departure for home, and evidently rejoicing in a dress place of public entertainment. We are satisfied, that, if there were an Opera-house of twice the size, the best Operatic month of the whole year would be the month of October-ministering, as it would, to this high-bred and pleasure-loving October-dom of strangers.

We were very much struck, as we presumed others were, who were present, at the air of superiority given to the masculine portion of the audience, by the presence of the large number of Southern gentlemen. The leisure to grow to full stature, and a mind not overworked with cares and business, certainly have much to do with the style and bearing of a race, and the expression of gentlemanly superiority, ease and jouissance, which prevailed throughout the Opera-house on Wednesday evening, was a novelty there, and one of which we might well desire the culture and perpetuation.

As our country's great centre of transit, we should think the society of New York, as well as its special public amusement of fashion, might accommodate itself to the October presence of Southerners, with advantage. A brief gay season of early parties, on the off nights of the Opera, might take place in this month, and the usual painting, and exchanging of carpets and curtains, which is the present ostensible reason for closed houses, might be deferred till a November vacation. What the French call l'été de St. Martin, and we "the Indian Summer," might be, socially, the most delightful month in the year. It would be the etiquette, as it used to be in Boston about the time of Harvard Commence

ment, to call upon all presentable strangers; and this custom would promote an intimacy and good feeling between Northern and Southern society, which would be no trifling link in binding the country together.

The Opera was very fairly done. Tedesco, (whose pinguidity waxes,) was not in her best vein-(and she is the most journaliére prima donna we ever saw)—but she furnished one evening's sufficient allowance of pleasure, and we should be glad to compromise for as much, twice a week. Taffanelli, the most fighting-cockesque of stage-walkers, who sings, as we said last winter, like a man with a horse under him-a sort of baritone centaur, magnificently masculine-gave us, as before, unlimited satisfaction. That he is not engaged by the Astor Place management, seems to us one of those fatuitous blunders which there must be something, undreamed of, behind the curtain, to explain.

WEDDING ETIQUETTES.

Proprieties of Cards-Mistakes of Courtship-Purgatory Antecedent to Wedlock-Rights of Lovers-Suggestion of new Etiquette at Weddings— Time to have American Etiquettes and Customs, etc.

WE receive letters from time to time, requesting information through The Home Journal, upon points of ceremony and fashionable usages. To all such inquirers we would say, that they have, nearer home, an infallible guide in these matters-good sense and kind consideration for others being the basis of every usage of polite life that is worth regarding, and the best way to settle any disputed etiquette, being simply to dissect its purpose, see whether it fulfils it, or whether it was not originally made for a different society from that in which it is proposed to copy it. All European usages of politeness are not suited to American opinions, habits, temper and institutions; and, indeed, we have long thought that our country was old enough to adopt manners and etiquettes of its own-based, like all politeness, upon benevolence and common sense, but still differing, with our wants and character as a people.

Simple as the reasons for all polite usages are, or should be, however, there is, now and then, a point upon which there is a