MY FRIEND PLUM.

I TELL not my tale to a cold and careless world. I waste not sighs upon ears that are deaf. A story of misfortune is a pearl too precious to be cast before those who would only trample upon it. I speak to the tender and sympathetic ear of those whom experience has taught to contrast the bliss of friendship, indulged without suspicion or alloy, with the bitterness of disappointed trust and betrayed affection.

I had the misfortune to lose both my parents at an early age. My mother died when I was a boy, and my father followed her soon after I entered my twentyfirst year. I was an only child, and without relatives; but my father committed me to the care of a friend by the name of Plum, of whom he had a high opinion, and to whom he was fondly attached. Whether my father's choice of a guardian for one whose imagination was stronger than his judgment, and whose passions were more active than his principles, was wise or not, is a question which I leave to be decided by the issue of my story.

The stern and strict control of my father was no sooner withdrawn, than I felt like a liberated bird. I indulged my fancy in every thing. I bought gay horses, drove dashing gigs, smoked, drank, flourished at Na

hant and Saratoga, put a gold chain about my neck, with a useless quizzing glass attached to it and thrust into my waistcoat pocket, criticised the ladies' ancles, talked lightly of female virtue, and impudently ogled every woman whom I met.

I was perhaps the less to be blamed for these follies, that I followed the fashion of young men of my condition, and was rather abetted than restrained in my course by my guardian. At length I fell in love, and my taste became matrimonial. I worshipped a pretty girl of sixteen, and promised to marry her. But time and reflection altered my views. My goddess became an insipid girl. To put an end to my engagement, I suddenly embarked for Europe, giving it forth to be understood that I should be absent several years. My reputation would have suffered for this and some other trifles, had not my friend Plum exerted his influence in my behalf, which he did so effectually, that I was fully acquitted, and the young lady was left to unpitied mortification and contempt.

I could not think of travelling alone; so I contrived to have my guardian accompany me. On my arrival at Liverpool, my ignorance of the manners and customs of England brought me into sundry awkward situations. In these cases I found the assistance of Plum to be invaluable. He settled every difficulty in a moment, and always in a way peculiar to himself. He seemed to understand England perfectly, and I afterwards learnt that he was not a stranger to other countries. I soon hurried to London. I was anxious to participate in the pleasures of the world's metropolis. The influence of

Plum soon gained me admission into fashionable society. It was winter, and I was invited to an assembly at Almack's. My acquaintance enlarged, and I was soon in the full career of fashionable dissipation. My society was sought by gentlemen and ladies of the first degree. Not a few cards with noble names upon them were exhibited in my rack.

I was at a loss to account for my success. My vanity could not persuade me to impute it all to my person and address. I became inquisitive, and learned at length, to my great surprise, that it was mainly on account of my guardian, who was held in such high estimation, that all who were connected with him participated in his honors. At first I was piqued by the discovery; but such is the influence of self-flattery, and such also was the seductive guise and seeming sincerity of the attentions I received, that I ceased to scrutinize the motive, and took them as if offered to me on the ground of personal merit.

But, if I was blinded in regard to the honor which Plum reflected on myself, some remarkable instances of its influence on others did not escape me. I recollect on one occasion to have been struck with it at Almack's. In general, the display of beauty there is beyond all praise. An American would say the ladies were too stout and ruddy, and too heavily dressed. But let that pass. The music had ceased for a moment, and the places where the quadrilles had an instant before been figuring, were accidentally vacant. then appeared a couple so grotesque as to put description to the blush. A thin, miserly, snuffy little man led

There

forward the hugest woman I ever beheld. She had large, lead-colored eyes; a low, overhanging forehead, with a conical piece of her under lip lapping over her upper one, and the corners of the mouth drawn downward; long ears, standing apart from the head; a large jowl, and a figure that, in despite of the London Cantellos, resembled a pipe of brandy. There was a mark of monstrous vulgarity about the pair, which, with now and then an exception, seemed to contrast strangely with all around.

At the first appearance of this odd couple, there was a look of general surprise, and then a smile, and here and there an audible titter. But soon it was all hushed, and Mr. and Mrs. Fudge seemed to be honored with particular and respectful attention. "How is this?" said I to Lady Flambeau. "O," said she, "don't you know he is a great favorite with your friend Plum?"

In short, I had not spent six months in England before I discovered that my extraordinary guardian had scarcely less influence than the prime minister. Indeed, he did that which the king himself could not have performed. The world would laugh at Sir William Curtis, though George the Fourth was his companion and friend. But who could despise a favorite of Plum? His friendship was only inferior to a patent of nobility. It covered faults and magnified virtues. It even became superior to the force of nature. I once saw a very ugly young woman dancing most vilely. "She is an angel," said one. "She dances like a fairy," said another. "She is the particular friend of Plum!" said a third.

I left England and went to France. In Paris, my guardian seemed less at home. But here he was by no means destitute of influence. He could persuade a Frenchman to do any thing but jump into the Seine.

I set out for Italy. In crossing the Alps I was attacked by banditti. I fought valiantly, but in vain. I was wounded, overpowered, and beat down. A swarthy villain, with black mustachios, planted his heavy foot on my breast, and with a brawny arm, held his finger on the trigger of a pistol presented to my forehead. The slightest contraction of a muscle had scattered my brains in the air. At this instant, luckily, Plum presented himself. He went on the principle that discretion is the better part of valor. He threw away my powder and ball, and settled the point by negotiation. It was all over in fifteen minutes. The desperado became our friend, guided us faithfully over the mountain, and at parting gave me warm wishes of happiness.

I could tell other tales, but this is enough. I returned to my country after an absence of two years, bringing my friend with me. His influence was not abated. The men sought my society, and the ladies smiled upon me for his sake. I took it all to myself, indeed; and when an honest man told me that I was a fool for doing so, I became angry, and bade him hold his peace. I again fell in love. I had a streak of weakness in my character, which exposed me to such fantasies. I loved devotedly, and thought my passion was truly returned. May I speak my mind freely to