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your Church-yard, for want of being corrected by the Spade, grew fo fcandalously and enormously high, that the Arch-Deacon complain’d of it at the Visitation. Then the poor Sexton, God help him, finding no Employment from the Dead, was in a fair Way to be starv'd among the Living ; and had as little to do as a Pimp at Newmarket, when the

t is not there. Then he and you; oh! I beg your Pardon, Doctor, then you and he, under the melancholy Yew-Tree that faces the Church Porch, all alone, like Mr. Dryden's two Turtles in the . Siege of Granada, cop'd and murmur'd to each others Moan, and made as mournful a Confort between you, as two Sea-mens Widows in a Brandy-Shop near the. Navy-Office. Husbands complain'd of their Wives, and wives of their Husbands, for sticking so unmercifully long to one another; and what is a dreadful Thing to consider, there had like to have been a general Insurrection of all the young Fellows against their most unnatural Fathers for the fame Account. To prevent these, and a thousand other Inconveniences, I think it was very discreetly done of you, to set up for a Physician; and now I don't question Lut the Bells toll merrily, the Ropes are made tractable with using, the Church-yard looks like a Place of Business, and your Sexton can afford to treat himself with a Capon at Supper.

As I was reading Caligula's Life t'other Morning, you came into my Head, I protest, and I could not forbear to wish, that it had been your good Luck to live under his auspicious Reign. That Emperor, who was not partial to his own Species, but heartily encourag'd Merit where-ever he found it, whether in Man or Beast, 'was the same Thing to him, generously bestow'd a fat Parsonage upon his Horse Incitatus, whom, by the by, he design'd to make LordMayor of Rome the next Year, but granted him, I suppose, a Dispensation to officiate by a Curate, be. cause the poor Bruce had a natural impediment in

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his Speech. So I was thinking with my self, if this noble-spirited Prince could present his Horse to a rich Living, what Preferment would he have refus'd to a Gentleman of your Ability, had you

liv'd in Rome at that Time. But you have prevented all these Wishes in your Friends, by the wise Course you have taken to get Money ; for the Devil's in't, if three gainful Trades, in Confederacy, cannot make a Shift to keep the French Wolf of Poverty from the Door. Some People, indeed, think you come within the Canon about Pluralities ; but that is a Jest ; they may as well call a double Chin a Plurality, and then the Lord have Mercy on the Wicked, and give a Bear and Fiddle that scandalons Name, which would touch the Copyhold of half the Curates in Wales. I would fain know why the Incumbent, where the Benefice won't keep Body and Soul together, should not be suffer'd to make himself Amends in some other Employment, as well as your Mercers in a Country Village, to sell every Thing, from broad Cloth and Sattin, down to Tape and Pack Thread. Besides, all the World knows that the Reformation stript the Church of Confeflion and feveral other advantageous Points, which kept the Laity in good Ordery: Now what could better supply the Absence of these things, than the Profession you have taken up, fince we find the World is fo wickedJy given, that they have a greater Regard for their tranfitory Bodies, than their Souls ? So now, if any of your Parishioners are obstinate, don't threaten them with the Ecclefiaftical Court, but ply them with Pills; don't excommunicate them, but give thena Phyfick; for that will sooner send them to the Devil, than the Censure of the Ch.

I, that am at so great a Distance from you, please my

self now and then with the Thoughts that I behold you in your own Dominions, with as busy a Face as a Country-Attorny standing at his Door with a Brace of Pens in his Hair ; sometimes I see you in

the

your Church-yard, for want of being corrected by the Spade, grew fo scandalously and enormously high, that the Arch-Deacon complain'd of it at the Visitation. Then the poor Sexton, God help him, finding no Employment from the Dead, was in a fair Way to be starv'd among the Living ; and had as little to do as a Pimp at Newmarket, when the Cat is not there. Then he and you ; oh! I beg your Pardon, Doctor, then you and he, under the melancholy Yew. Tree that faces the Church Porch, all alone, like Mr. Dryden's two Turtles in the Siege of Granada, cop'd and murmur'd to each others Moan, and made as mournful a Confort between you, as two Sea-mens Widows in a Brandy-Shop near the Navy-Office. Husbands complain'd of their Wives, and wives of their Husbands, for sticking so unmer. cifully long to one another; and what is a dreadful Thing to consider, there had like to have been a general Insurrection of all the young Fellows against their most unnatural Fathers for the same Account. To prevent these, and a thousand other Inconveniences, I think it was very discreetly done of you, to set up for a Physician ; and now I don't question Lut the Bells toll merrily, the Ropes are made tractable with using, the Church-yard looks like a Place of Business, and your Sexton can afford to treat himself with a Capon at Supper.

As I was reading Caligula's Life t'other Morning, you came into my Head, I protest, and I could not forbear to wish, that it had been your good Luck to live under his aufpicious Reign. That Emperor, who was not partial to his own Species, but heartily encourag'd Merit where-ever he found it, whether in Man or Beast, 'was the fame Thing to him, ge• nerously bestow'd a fat Parsonage upon his Horse Incitatus, whom, by the by, he design’d to make LordMayor of Rome the next Year, but granted him, I sappose, a Dispensation to officiate by a Curace, be. cause the poor Brute had a natural impediment in

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his Speech. So I was thinking with my felf, if this noble-spirited Prince could present his Horse to a rich Living, what Preferment would he have refus’d to a Gentleman of your Ability, had you liv'd in Rome at that Time. But you have prevented all these Wishes in your Friends, by the wise Course you have taken to get Money ; for the Devil's in't, if three gainful Trades, in Confederacy, cannot make a Shift to keep the French Wolf of Poverty from the Door. Some people, indeed, think you come within the Canon about Pluralities; but that is a Jeft ; they may as well call a double Chin a Plurality, and then the Lord have Mercy on the Wicked, and give a Bear and Fiddle that scandalous Name, which would touch the Copyhold of half the Curates in Wales. I would fain know why the Incumbent, where the Benefice won't keep Body and Soul together, should not be suffer'd to make himself Amends in some other Employment, as well as your Mercers in a Country Village, to fell every Thing, from broad Cloth and Sattin, down to Tape and Pack Thread. Besides; all the World knows that thes Reformation stript the Church of Confeflion and feveral other advantageous Points, which kept the Lairy in good Order,: Now what could better supply the Absence of these things, than the Proteslion you have taken up, fince we find the World is so wickedly given, that they have a greater Regard for their tranfitory Bodies, than their Souls ? So now, if any of your Parishioners are obstinate, don't threaten them with the Ecclesiastical Court, but ply them with Pills ; don't excommunicate them, but give then Physick; for that will sooner send them to the Devil, than the Censure of the Ch.

I, that am at so great a Distance from you, please my self now and then with the Thoughts that I behold you

in your own Dominions, with as busy a Face as a Country-Atrorny standing at his Door with a Brace of Pens in his Hair ; sometimes I see you in

the

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the Pulpit, knocking down Sin like an Ox; fome: times handling of Bullocks in the Market, and from thence sent for to feel the Pulse of a Farmer's plump Daughter in ordine ad Spiritualia. Then out comes the Clyfter-Pipe ; and when that is adminifter'd, the Prayer-Book is lugg'd piping lot out of the same Pocket to beg a Blefling upon't. The Harmony of Authors too in your Library, must needs be admirable ; Culpeper's Midwife, and Dr. Sherlock upon Death; Harvey de Lue Venerea, and Burgess of Original Sin ; Colebarolo of Acids, and Twise of the Gospel Sweets; the Difpenfatory, and the Concordance ; a Father, and an Urinal-Monger. But what pleafes me most, is, to hear that you are grown the gravest Person in all the Country. Whatever you do, keep to you Gravity, and that will keep you. Some Peo. ple, I know, will call it Dulness ; and, to say the Truth, Dulness and Gravity like the two Sofia's in the Play, resemble one another so much, that 'tis al. most impossible to distinguish them ; but no Matter for that, ftill hold to the Text of Gravity ; for the topping Men in all Professions are protected by their Gravity, as the Towns in Holland are by the Mud and Dirt about them.

Having been told of several of your Cures, I wish ive had you here in Town, to thew a piece of your Skill upon an old Acquaintance of yours, who is troubled with a dead Pally on one side, which I am afraid he will never recover of, 'cill Death or you come to his Relief I mean poor Harry S who has lately marry'd the Widow D. Part, I can never see him, but I think of the Embalmer in Herodotus, that commitced Fornication with a dead "Body. St. Francis, that was forc'd to run into a Heap of Snow, to correct the Insolences of Nature, would have turn'd as cold and morionless as Lot's Wife at the very sight of her. A generous well-body'd Calentvre, such as they have under the Line, may perhaps put her Blood into Motion ; but

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