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potence, Death and Defolation, and, in short, every Thing that infpires Horror, and casts a Damp upon Pleasure "Tis as bad as the Mene Tekel on the Wall, the very Name carries a Palfy with it. It puts People upon unlawful Evafions; it makes them think on other Folks, when their Thoughts should be at Home 9 and leads them to commit downright Adultery in the Nuptial Sheets:
Even that Pink of Courtesy, Sir Folin Falftaff, in the Play, who never was ' a Niggard of his Lungs, would nor answer one Word when the Muff was put upon him : Were Reasons (fay's that affable Knight) as cheap as Black-berries, I would not give you one upon Compulsion, which is but another Word for Duty. And now
we are upon this Chapter, Gentlemeng give me Leave to copy from you, and tell you a fhorc Story. A Nobleman, who dhall be nameters, in King Charles the Iid's Time,' kept a Chaplain that was a Rake-hell enough in all Conscience:"He would break Windows, kick and cuff, get drunk and fwear, and do all the boisterous Things you can think of, as ullcanonically as any of his Cloch. This Fellow had 1106 liv'd a full Month with my Lord, (by the fame Token, that they kept him as hot as a Glass-houfe all the while) but weary, it feeis, of his Reception, 'hę came staggering in co the Room where my 'Lord was drinking with some Friends : 'Faith, my Lord, fåys he, you and I must part, before George we muft. Why fo, Doctor, have not I used you'with all the Civili
You mistake me, my 'good Lord, I love Drunkennels as well as ever a Peer of you all ; but, a Plagne, I have the Thoughts of being forç'd to mount the Guard every Night; I hate to be confin'd to it. You make Drunkenness a Dary, my Lord, and confequently a Verrue, and, Pa have you know, I hate all Vertue. Pray let' me advise you to think of this at your Leisure. ? I come now to those worthy Gentlemen, who are against Inclosures of all Sorts, and fall upon the first
Game they can ftart. Not to call their Judgments in Question, which they never put to the Expence of choosing for them, I would rain be inform'd why a Man should be To fool-hardy as to expofe himself to the fortune de la guerre, when there's no Occasion for it ; or what mighty Satisfaction there is in coming off with the Loss of a Leg or an Arm, when he might have kept himself safe. Were there no such Things as Diseases in the World, and had Columbus never difcover'd the Indies, perhaps I might be reconcild to this sort of Life; but as I am a profess'd Difciple of Epicurus, I would, by my good Wilf, husband every Moment to the best Advantage : For this Reason I scorn to take up Pleasure, as young Prodigals do Money, at 50 per Cent. Iutereft ; and 'tis for this very . Reason that I abominate Drunkenness, the only. Pander that can make you swallow intrieguing in common, because a Man gives half an Hour's seeming Satisfaction, and two or three Days, real Sickness.
I am now arriv'd to the laft Part of my. Indict: ment, where you play all your small Shot at me, because I have thought fic to be particular with an Actrefs. Some of you, pretend, that such a Choice has more Vanity than Love in it. Admit it has, yet, I shall never be asham’d to act upon fo honest and. universal a Principle.' What first set up a Coach and, Six, but Vanity My Lady might thew herself to as much Advantage in a Chariot and Two; and if my Lord would condescend now and then to beat the Hoof, as his Predecesors did before him, it would Bot be the worse for his Honour's Health. - What in. troduc'd Periwigs as big as Hay-cocks, when the Border, of venerable Memory, would have serv'd the Turn as well ; or what justifies those gigantick Grievances call'd Commodes, but Variety ? In Mort what furnishes Luxury, and sets off Magnificence, what plunders every Corner of the World, and puts us upon ransacking every Element, but this very fame Lnfpiren of all our Motions, for which you wisely con
demn me? You may rail at Variety as long as you pleafe ; but I would not give a Farthing for a Wa mart whom all the Town does not desire to lýe with. For this Reason I would have her frequently seen by all the young Fellows, and my self, that enjoys her, pointed at in the Streets, and envy'd by all that know
This sets an Edge upon a Man's Inclination, tho' it flagg'd never so much before, and makes his Mistress still new and charming, because ftill desir'd by others. Indeed some of you are pleas'd to call the Play-house a Hot-Bed : If this were any Reproach, fo are the Exchanges and the Boarding - Schools ; fo, in short, is all London, and ten Miles about it : i was in my Passion going to say all the Ifland ; and if I had said it, I think in my Conscience I had not been guilty of Scandal. After all, if the Play-house is a Hot-bed, so much the better ; for I have a mortal Aversion to Coldnefs, and every Thing that resembles it. Bue' to expect Constancy from a She-Player! I always thought them made of the fame Ingredients with the reft of their Sex ; and if they have not their Hypocrisy to answer for, I think 'iis a sign of their Discretion at leaft. 'Tis an Article of my Creed, chat . no Woman is constant, but the that finds it her Interest to be so. If that cannot keep my Damosel within due Bounds, I shall never break my Heart for the Matter.
And to conclude this Letter, if I must be cheated, which I am afraid is the Case of us all, I had rather it should be done by a few, from whom we expect ita and whose Profession it is, than by a sniveling precife Villaing, that has a Text for doing it. Gentlemen, I am
Your most humble Servant.
From a Vintner in the City, to a
young Vintner in Covent Garden.
By Mr. BROWN.
of late : You have taken a new House and á new Wife, and all in the Compass of a Week ; not having the Fear of some late Acts of Parliament before your Eyes, which have made boufe-keeping so very chargeable. After this convincing Proof of your Boldness, should you take a Lyon by the Whiskers, it would not surprize me. Por, Cousin, to deal plainly with you, you have fet up in a very perilous 'Time, when 'tis Fall of the Leaf with poor Tradesmen all the Year round. The Taxes run high, but never was there fuch an Ebb of Money fince the Creation. Drunkennefs, the Lord be praifed, notwithstanding all that the new Reformers have done to it, still makes à Shift to maintain its Ground : If it leaves one Liquor, it takes up with another, like the Sea, which, what it loses in one place, gains fomewhere else. All the Nation, to give them their Due, would be drunk, if they could, to forget their Sorrows; but, alas ! not one quarter of the Natiori can afford to be at the Expence of it. The Situation of Things being thus at this prefent Writing, you ought to manage your self with more than ordinary Discretion, if you intend to make a Figure in this tranficory World.
In the first Place, lay it down for a fundamental Rule, never to trust, or at least as seldom as you can, Bere when you commit that Folly, let it not be with Men who are protected by their Dignity or Character, or (what will not be unfcasonable Advice to one thit lives in Covent Garden) with the Wits, who are protected from paying by their Poverty. The less Faith you have for other people, the more Charity you shew for yourself ; for let the Plons fay what they will, I never knew a Man of any Profeffion justify'd by Faith. Rather than .venture that, cheat -as much as you can, I mean in a lawful Way ; and when you have got an Eftate, then ris time enough to think of compounding your Sins with Heaven, by building of an Hospital, according to the faadable and ancient Practice of the City. If you have a Mind to be favod by your Faith, take my Advice, do it by Wholesale, but never by small Parcels. In the mean Time, get Money, and promote Trade ; for that (as a wise Alderman long ago observ'd) is the Law and the Prophets.
Secondly, consider, that the Trade of a Vintner is a perfect Mystery; (for that is the Term the Law be. ftows on it) now, as all Mysteries in the World are wholly fupported by hard and unintelligible Terms, so you must take Care to chriften your Wines by some hard Names, the farther fetch'd fo mnch the better; and this Policy will ferve to recommend the most ex. ecrable Stumm in all your Cellar. A plausible Name to an indifferent Wine, is what a gaudy Ticle is to a Pop, or fine Cloaths to a Woman ; it helps to coliceal the Defects ir bas, and befpeaks the World in its Favour. Men naturally love to be cheated, particularly those of our own Naticii, for the Honour of old England be it 'fpoken ; and provided the Imposition is not too bare-fac'd, will meet you' Halfway with all their Hearts. I could name feveral of our Brethren to you, who now ftand fair to fit in the Chair of Justice, and Heep in their golden Chains at Church, that had been