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Voll. IV.p.237.

what, I can procure two Gallons of excellent Burgundy, and you and I, and another Friend, will meet and fuddle our Nofes at your Meeting-house; where un-der the Pulpit, as under the Rofe, we may fay what we please against either State or Church. Hold, hold a little, interrupted Mr. Alfop, my Meetinghoufe is fer apart for the Worship of God, and it would found oddly to turn it into a Bibbing House. Not at all, reply'd I; why not into a Bibbing-Houfe, as well as a Dancing-School, a Buttock-Ball, or the like? Besides, if it be no more than your Kitchen, or your Stable, how can a Bottle of good Burgundy prophane it ?

Mr. Alfop was here at a Stand; and while he was puzzling his Noddle with a Salvo, Company came in to his Relief, and fo adjourn'd his Conference, fine die.

The Widow's Wedding: Or, A true Account of Dr. Oats's Marriage with a Muggletonian Widow in BreadStreet, London, Auguft the 18th, 1693. In a Letter to a Gentleman in the Country.

SIR,

T

HE only news of Importance I have to coinmunicate to you at present, is, that the famous and never-to-be-forgotten Dr. Oates, was marry'd the Beginning of this Week. You know for a Perfon of his Conftitution, that always exprefs'd, and perhaps inherited, an Averfion to the fair Sex; and befides, had found out a Back

Door

Door to bestow his Kindness and Strength elsewhere, to confine himself at laft to the infipid Duties of Matrimony, is as unnatural and unexpected a Change, as for an old Mifer to turn Prodigal. And this perhaps was the furprizing Revolution, which most of our Almanacks, both at Home and Abroad, threaten'd us with in the Month of August. I remember I happen'd to be at Garaway's, when a Gentleman came in and told us the News. Immediately all other Difcourfe ceas'd, East-India Auctions, the Price of Pepper, and rifing of Currants; not a Word of our Army in Flanders, or the Siege of Belgrade; the Turkey Fleet, and the Battel of Landen, were not mention'd in two Hours after. Nay, the Duke of Savoy, who is now working Miracles for us at Piedmont, was wholly laid afide. Every Body ftood amaz'd, and it was a confiderable Time before they could recover themselves out of this Aftonishment. At last an old Gentleman, at the upper End of the Table, broke the Silence, and made himself and the Company very merry at the Doctor's Expence. I remember, fays he, I have fomewhere read, that when Erafmus heard that Martin Luther, of bleffed Memory, was marry'd, he should fay in a jefting Manner, That if, according to the old Tradition, Antichrift was to be got between a Monk and a Nun, the World was now in a fair Way to have a Litter of the Sort. Not that I would (continues he) apply this Story to the Doctor; for God forbid that we fhould live to fee a Brood of fucking Antichrifts come out of the Doctor's Loins. My Meaning is only this, that fince the Saviour of the Nation has join'd his faving Faculty with a damning Talent, (for you are to understand his Lady is a Muggletonian, and thofe People pretend to have the Power of Damnation) we may now expect to fee a Motley Race of half Saviours and half Damners. Hold you there, cries another Gentleman, you ought to have faid half Damners

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and half Saviours; for fince the Mother's is the fureft Side, if the Doctor lives to have Children, they'll damn in all Likelihood before they'll fave,

The Doctor (as I have been acquainted by feveral of his intimate Friends) had two Reasons to incline -him to marry in his old Age. The firft, was, his great Concern to fee the noble Army of Evidences defeated; Bedloe, Dugdale, and Dangerfield, fleeping with their Fathers, viz. the Witneffes that fwore against Sufanna, and thofe that fton'd St. Stephen ; Fuller, who, with good Management, would have made a clever Fellow, bury'd alive in a Prifon, Et cetera. Young, his vertuous Companion, routed past all Hopes of rallying. Others, at the Sight of a Pillory or Whipping-Poft utterly discountenanc'd, and afham'd of their Profeffion. So the Doctor, finding the whole Hopes of the Family of the Evidences centering in himself, and that if due Care was not taken, the Species would be entirely loft, refolv'd, as far as in him lay, to prevent its utter Extinction, and to raise up Seed to the Popish Plot himfelf.

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In the fecond Place, the Doctor was touch'd in Confcience for fome Juvenile Gambols that thall be nameless. It feems, though he had pity'd the other Corruptions of Popery, yet he ftill fancy'd Cardinalism. Now, all the World knows Confcience is a fad terrible Thing. What fays the Doctor's Friend St. Auffin? Why, Confcientia mille Teftes, Confcience is a thousand Witneffes. Is it therefore to be admir'd if the Doctor, who, make the best of him, is but one fingle Witnefs, and fcarce that, found himself forc'd to yield to a thousand? So then, as I faid before, his Confcience perpetually alarming and difturbing him, the Doctor, merely, at laft, for his own Eafe and Queit, made a Vow to fow his wild Oats, and not to hide the Talent which God had plentifully given him in an Italian Napkin. No fooner was this pious Refolution communicated to his Friends, whe

were

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were mightily pleas'd at the News, but they look'd out sharp to find him a proper Yoke-fellow. It was reprefented to him, that a Maid was by no Means for his Turn; the Doctor was fat and purfy; Maidenhead was not to be got without much drudging for't; and befides, 'twas now just the Dog-Days, and who knew but the Doctor's Reins might receive great Damage, in Cafe of a violent Encounter. Ac laft, an independent Minifter advis'd him to Mrs.. Margaret Wells of Bread-freet, (whofe former Husband was a Muggletonian, and the continu'd of the fame Perfwafion) urging this Argument in her Behalf, That in her the Doctor might have open and free Ingrefs, Egrefs, and Regress, as oft as he pleas'd: That as he might enjoy her without the Sweat of, fo he might eternally live with her without the least Peril of, his Brows, he being no Charmer, and confequently would not equip him with a Pair of Horns, which he knew the Doctor abominated, as being Marks of the Beaft, and altogether Popil, The Doctor lik'd the Propofal; and, at the first Interview, was fo extreamly fmitten with the Gravity and Goodness of her Perfon, that he could neither eat (which was much) nor drink (which was more) 'till the Business was concluded.

A comical Paffage happen'd at the Commons, which I think very well worth fending you: The Doctor going thither for a Licenfe, two fcurvy Questions were afk'd him; the firft was, Whether he would have a Licenfe to marry a Boy or a Girl? The fecond, Whether he would have a License for behind or before? At this the Doctor loft all Patience, held up his Cane, and thunder'd out, You Rafcal, as thick as Hops, 'till upon the Proctor's crying Peccavi, the Sky clear'd up again.

The Articles of Marriage were as follows:

Imprimis, The Doctor promises, in Verba Sacerdotis, to keep never a Male-Servant in his House under Six

ty,

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