out Advantages for us that Way; the few that have fpiritual Relief, in fuch contagious and quickly-destroying Distempers, encrease our Crop: And the general Cruelty of Mankind is fuch, that in Famine, those that have will keep for themselves and their Dogs, and let the rest of their own Species perifh, without fo much as a pitying Look: And this makes many Atheists in their Wants, and does that, without our Inftigation, which we could not perfwade fob to do, that is, Curse God, and Die.

But, my Lords, when none of thefe, our loyal Vaffals, are abroad, 'tis not ftrange that I am to feek in the Caufe of this great Concourfe at our Tribunal; and, therefore, that Virtue, for Want of Reward and due Praife, may not flacken, we will examine to what induftrious Friend we owe this unexpected Succefs; Wherefore, you Minor Devils, and Under-Officers, of our Court, bring them, in Order, to the Bar; and let no Devil of Honour, that has past that inferior Office of touching the Uncleanness of Humanity, defile himself with too near an Approach to any of them.

[Here feveral Lacquey-Devils and Porter-Devils, with the reft of the Mob of Hell, bring on the first Band to the Bar in Italian Garbs.]

Speak, Criminal, whence thou art? Of what Nation, Quality, or Condition in the World? And what's the happy Caufe of thy coming hither?

Ghoft. First, Senior, adjust fome Points in Difpute, which highly concern the Honour of our Country, and the Decorum of good Breeding, and I fhall, for all this noble Train that follow me, anfwer to your Devilship's Queries. Coming to the Confines of your flourishing Empire, we were met by fome of the Officers of this honourable Affembly, who gave us fafe Conduct to your Royal Prefence: But juft now, entring into these Lifts, confronted us a Company of paltry Scoundrels, and prefs'd for Precedence, fwearing, That they were Englishmen, and ought to take Place of all that were damn'd

damn'd for Cuckolds. We urg'd our Title in Heraldry, That we ought to take Place of all Nations, being the Succeffors of the once Masters of the Universe; but they were deaf to Reafon here, as well as in the World, and one fwore D-me, Bl-d and Z-ns, another, Oaths all round the Compafs; and in this Volly of MouthGrenadoes, one very demure Gentleman prefs'd, by Yea and Nay, that we were in the wrong; and had it not been for this Honourable Devil here, that's a Friend to our Nation, we had been worm'd out of our Birth-right by the Arfe and Refufe of the World: Et penitus toto divifos orbe Britannos, as, our Noble Country-Man has it, Dogs fhut out of Doors from all the rest of Mankind. I therefore appeal to this thrice excellent Senate, and you the Right and moft Reverend Doge, to addrefs this Affront.

Lucif. Hey-day! What, has not Hell yet brought you to your Senfes, that you can think we Devils are fuch Sots to trouble our Heads about the ridiculous Whims of Ceremonious Mankind? But fince they were fo obftreperous to make a Disturbance in Hell, they fhall be the laft heard Therefore proceed to the Question.

:

Ghoft. An't pleafe your thrice puiffant Devilship, Noble Senior, I was coming to that Point: Therefore, to be brief, (for I hate Prolixity) I am, Sir, an Italian by Nation, and a Noble-Man by Quality. My own Vanity, and ill Chance, gave me a pretty Wife, and my Honour made me chufe her of an Illuftrious Houfe; but the prov'd Lewd and Prodigal, the natural Iffue of Beauty and Hgh Birth; my Dotage on her Charms hath bred in me fuch a-fond, blind, uxorious Vice, (which my Country Men are feldom guilty of) that I was almoft ruin'd before I found I was betray'd: But travelling towards Genoua, I met the Spark, my pretended Friend, on the Road to my Dwelling; I feemingly pafs'd on my Way, but in the Night return'd, unexpected, and furpriz'd 'em all, and, therefore, as my Honour bid me, I murder'd him, and bak'd him in a Pye, and (ingeniously in my Revenge) fwore fhe fhould eat no other Food but her Lover: The Cruft fhe a while did eat, but one Day, having prepar'd a Stelleto,

Stelleto, at Supper fhe difpatch'd me thius to your thrice Noble and Illuftrions Devilship.

Luc. Very well! and worthy thou art of fuch a Punishment, that couldst not forgive Beauty a gentle Slip of that Nature thou thy felf hadft so often tranfgrefs'd. Speak the next.

2 Ghost. I am also an Italian; and obferving a Gentleman often ogling my Wife, which fhe did not a little encourage, I fent a Bravo to difpatch him; (for we Italians do not love to look Revenge in the Face our felves) but the Rogue of a Bravo, won by my Wife, and by a great Sum of Money of my Adverfary's, comes back to me, and cuts my Throat. And this, most noble Senior, is most of our Cafes; our Wives have given us the cafting Throw for Damnation.

Luc. You, the rest of the malignant Train, is this true, that your Wives have fent you hither?

Omnes. Yes, yes; we have all had Wives.- All the Plagues of Egypt let us undergo, but no Wives, we moft humbly befeech your Moft Noble Devilship.

Luc. Prayers are in vain; Tranfgreffions are to be punish'd by the fame Way they are committed; nor muft you be your own Carvers here in Hell, Gentlemen. Away with 'em, down into Cuckolds Cave, ten thoufand Fathom deeper than the Whore-M fters, and next the Keeping-Cullies, and let each have two Wives to torment him.

Omnes, O Wives! Wives!

[They are remov'd off, and others brought on. Luc. Proceed to the next Band.

Say, what were you in the World, and what dear Sin brought you to this Place?

Spanish Gloft. Great Prince of Darkness, and Lord of the greatest Part of Mankind, may it please your Catholick Majefty, I was, by my Worldly State and Condition, a Spanish Grandee, of the first Magnitude, rich as Fortune and an indulgent Prince well could make me, (for your Devilship must know, our King is but a Sheep for us to fleece when we pleafe, which we do in all Places, letting his Soldiers and inferior Servants starve) happy, 'till

too

too much Succefs was my undoing; for by that I gain'd the Lady I lov'd, and fo in one unhappy Word was married. 'Tis tedious to repeat the Injuries I receiv'd from the ungrateful Fair, who, after all, to make Room for another, fent me away (like an Italian as he was) in all my Sins, with a poisonous Draught.

Luc. Is the fame your Fate, you, the rest of this befotted Crew, that have met with juft Punishment from one Part of your felves, for preferring your private Grandeur before the Service of your King and Honour of your Country?

Omnes. Yes, yes; Thirft of Honour and Wealth made us cheat the King; that drew down the Judgment of Wedlock; and that brought us to this long Home and Fiend of Matrimony.

Luc. Away with thefe, and drive 'em out of their Snails Pace. [A tatter'd Ghoft comes forward. Ghost. Just may be their Punishment, most noble Devil; but why fhould I be condemn'd to Wincing, who was so far from cheating the King, that I could never get my Due of him, and being a Gentleman born, never did any thing below my Extraction, and have gone without a Meal, many a Time, rather than degrade my felf to get one? And tho' I could arrive to it no other ways, yet kept up my Part still in ftately Walk, and my Wallet, tho' I had no Bread for either, or a Shirt to my Back.

Luc. Since thy own Folly made thee marry, 'tis now too late to prate, you must away with the reft.

[They are carry'd off, and others brought on. Bring the next to the Bar: Declare the Cause of your deferv'd Damnation. My Life on't these dapper Sparks are in for Cakes and Ale too; the very Air of their Faces fpeaks them Cuckolds.

French Ghoft. Sire, may it please your most victorious Majefty, Vofire Eftlavo is a French-Man by Birth, and à Leader of the Moft Christian King's moft magnanimous Forces; and whilft I, with my Commilitones, was reaping Lawrels in the Field of Renown, and engaging the Enemy abroad, my Lady Wife (as most of our French

Wives

Wives will, (for having once tafted the Sweets of Love, they'll ne'er have done 'till they have undone us one way or other) my Lady Wife, I fay, was engaging with a Friend at Home, who very genteely gave her the POX, which I, at my Return, like a gay Cavalier of a Husband, receiv'd of her as genteely without Rebuke, it being no Matter of Scandal with us. But Madamoiselle POX proving a very Virago, gave me a damn'd Thruft in Quarto, and fent me hither in Decimo fexto, Monseigneur. Luc. You, the reft, fpeak.

Omnes. We are all French-Men, and therefore you

need

not doubt the Caufe, the Pox and our Wives, Ma foy. Luc. Away with them: They'll make a Fire by themfelves, or will ferve inftead of Small-Coal to kindle others; for they are half burnt out already. Place 'em next the Spaniards. The next there fpeak.

[They are carry'd off, more brought on. Ger. Ghoft. I am, by Nation, a German, and, by Damnation, a Husband, a Cuckold, or what you pleafe; for I hate to mince the Matter with a long Preamble, when a Word to the Wife is enough.

Luc. Very well; you, the reft, fpeak.

Omnes. Ev'n fo, an't pleafe your Imperial Devilfhip; whilft we drank and fought against the Turks, our Wives whor'd with the Chriftians. O Wives! Wives!

Luc. Away with these into the hotteft, for their Carcaffes are fo foak'd with Liquor, that they'll put out an ordinary Fire. You, the next, fpeak.

[They are carry'd off, others brought on. Dutch Ghoft. Gads Sacrament, I am a Member, or rather two Members, of the Hogen-Mogen Common-wealth of Europe. Two Members, I fay; for I am a Member governed, and a Member governing; for the People with us, and in all fuch Common-wealths, are both Subjects and Mafters, govern Laws, and govern'd by the fame.

Luc. Your Country's Name then is Contradiction. Is it not?

Ghoft. Contradiction to Monarchy, tho' fet up by fome Monarchs to spite others. But to your Question, old Tarpaulin: Whilft I was getting Money and drinking

Punch