would have been unanimous in the opinion that I was fully qualified for the undertaking. I ate bountifully, even unto almost experiencing what an old man, himself a great devourer of food, termed a "pleasant pain," though mine hostess suggested that she “ was afeard I hadn't made a dinner."

In this connection, it may not be amiss to advert to the matter of "boarding the master" of a New England country school. There have been three modes, or "three eras," as I might properly say, of boarding. One mode, which, even to this day, is adopted in some places, is that of "boarding 'round," which implies that the teacher is quartered among the families of the district in the ratio of the number of children composing them who attend school. Some would call this the "golden age," the era of baked pumpkins, pies, and pandowdies, affording an admirable oppor. tunity to the heads of each family of testing the above mentioned qualification. Where this rule prevails, each family vies with the other in producing the largest quantity of the good things of this life. A se cond method is the setting of the master up at auction, and knocking him off to the lowest bidder, as they generally dispose of the town's poor, and non-resident taxes. Thanks to my lucky stars that I did not fall upon one of those places. The third mode was that of selecting one regular place of domicil, where the teacher would be well-served at a moderate price. This had been adopted in my district, and in selecting mine host, they exercised more than ordinary judg. ment. Peace and plenty" were the presiding dei ties of his household.

When

Our dinner finished, mine host and myself wended our way toward the above 'Squire Bunker. we arrived, we found the "committee-men" in at tendance, ready to discharge their duties. Jacob, as had been anticipated, appeared to be the "cock of the walk." He was striding across the room, with both hands beneath the folds of his coat, looking for all the world like Sir Oracle. I was seated, and the men of authority, occupying different stations at a table located in the centre of the room, announced their readiness to proceed to business. Jacob pulled out his steel spectacle case, and taking therefrom its contents, rubbed them with his coat sleeve, and placed them upon the nasal organ. Taking up a half-worn school book, he thus commenced :

"Well, Mr. Morton, I assume you know it's our duty, as committee-men of this town, to perambulate you, and it is for this 'ere business that we've got to gether."

I nodded assent, at the same time compressing my lips, for fear of an outbreaking of laughter. But I recollected the conversation with mine host. It may be needless to add that he and Jacob's colleagues looked unutterably mischievous.

Well, as spelling is rayther omnipotent in a schoolmaster, won't you be good enough to spell Mas-sertoo-sits?"

"Certainly, sir," and supposing that it might be expected that the spelling should correspond with the pronunciation, I governed myself accordingly, and much to Jacob's satisfaction. He presumed, perhaps, that if I could spell a word of that magnitude, I was undoubtedly well versed in this essential qualification.

"Well, sir, where's the Gen'ral Coort held?" "At Boston, sir."

"Right; they say it's rayther a large-sized town?" Quite large, sir, containing upwards of sixty thousand souls."

Well, I gum, if taint most as big as Providence, up here," pointing to the place, whose tall spires were visible from the window.

"Rather think it is," said I, again finding the others
looking significantly toward each other.
"You've studied 'rethmertic, I 'spose?"
"I have, sir."

"Can you tell me how many is five times six ?"
"I can. Thirty is the total."
Right, sir."

"How many is six times five
all-sufficient look.

"Thirty, sir."

said he, with an

Sartain," responded Jacob," and he always ought to be. Didn't he flog them 'ere fellers over in Stoningtown, and up to Buncom Hill, 'bout the slickest?" he rejoined, brim full of satisfaction. Here Jacob had evidently reached the climax, and passed me over to the other members, remarking, at the same time, that “I am happy,” said 1, “ in coming before a commit-in his opinion I was “corpulent to keep any common tee so admirably qualified to discharge the duties in- school." At this stage of the proceedings, I was cumbent on them." fully convinced that I had insinuated myself into the

I turned my eyes toward the other gentlemen. They good graces of the 'Squire. But in this, I subsequenly understood it. ascertained that I might have been mistaken. The

other gentlemen propounded various interrogatories to me, which I answered satisfactorily, and they gave me a certificate of competency, directing me, at the same time, to commence my labors on the Monday ensuing.

hundred students,-I say, who can wonder that a youth of seventeen, just freed from such a regimen, should, with such temptation before his eyes, indulge a little too freely?

Monday arrived. Having collected together the pedagogue's paraphernalia, I took little Sammy by the This farce ended, Mr. Lowell and myself turned hand, and, as the sailors say, “made headway” for homeward. We enjoyed it much, and indulged in the theatre of my operations. If I did not feel “big” many a hearty laugh at the manifestations of pompo- on this occasion, I am well satisfied that it was “ big sity in 'Squire Bunker. My friend was inclined to with the fate" of myself, to say the least. I had the believe that I should manage to “ keep on the right folly to believe that the duties I was about to underside" of him, and I felt quite encouraged. But how take were of the most delightful character. But 'ere vain are all earthly hopes. "Good, easy man" that II reached the house, I confess I began to have some was, when I harbored the idea that my "greatness misgivings. "A faint heart," as the old adage hath was a ripening." I had, indeed, ventured, like " lit-it, coming to mind, inspired me with some courage, le, wanton boys, far beyond my depth," when I had and I succeeded in getting it up to the proper pitch concluded to enter upon the arduous duties of a peda- before I arrived at the door. gogue in the little town of S"My high-blown pride," as I well may term it," within a month,-let me not think on't," broke under me. Yes, "a little month," and our 'Squire, bowing beneath the wither-In one corner of the room, a litte elevated, resembling ing blight of neglect for I had given him early indication of a belief on my part that he was something uncommon,-sought relief for his wounded spirit in that worst of all human weaknesses—revenge.

As I entered the school-house, I found collected there some fifty or sixty of either sex, before the fire, from which they retreated as I made my appearance.

in no small degree a culprit's box, was located the master's desk, of which I took "peaceable and quiet possession." All took their seats by my request, and, as a matter of policy, I adopted in the outset the "soft sowder" system. I flattered them with the idea that they were bright, sprightly, and good-natured

would conduct themselves with the utmost degree of propriety, and make great proficiency in their various studies. So much for this, but I did not really like to confide too strongly in their human natur." 1 then proceeded to "take an account of stock," their names and ages, and made inquiry as to the extent of their acquirements, in order to an appropriate classifi cation. The house having been duly organized, each class had their respective lessons assigned them, and affairs were, as I had reason to believe, in the "full tide of successful experiment."

But I am getting before my story. I was wending homeward, and, on arriving, found supper in readiness. The table of mine host literally groaned be-looking children, and had no doubt but that they neath its accumulated weight. Toast piled in solid cubes, dough-nuts in towering pyramids, huge bowls of apple-sauce, and pumpkin pies of vast diameter, occupied their appropriate stations. When I looked upon the latter, covering a platter of a size somewhat less than the bottom of a half-bushel, a remark of my old friend, Mark Newcomb, forced itself upon me. He was an extravagant admirer of this savory article, and one day, after having consumed a scanty portion, he ejaculated with great emphasis, "Oh, that this whole college green was one great pumpkin pie, and I, placed in the centre, was obliged to eat my way out!" Mark could not have retired from this table with an appetite. I could not withstand the temptation, and I am forced to confess that I did eat a little more than was really prudent. Oh! the excruciating torments of that night! I dreamed that I was at one moment, a snapping-turtle, turned upon my back, with no ability to resume the natural position, and struggling desperately to regain it. At another, that I was encumbered with an enormous dough-nut ap-nice," as Jonathan would say, and accordingly put in pended to my neck, and being thrown into the depths of the bay. Then I imagined that I was clinging tremblingly to the sharp points of the rugged cliff but a few rods from my abode, expecting every moment to be dashed in pieces upon the rocks below. After great tribulation, I awoke, and found myself in a profuse perspiration. I was indiscreet, but who can wonder that a youth of seventeen, just escaped from the Commons' Hall, where he had been for months kept on a scanty allowance of sawdust bread, under pretence of its expense, with vile coffee, boiled in a cauldron of sufficient size to contain beverage for an

In the afternoon, the writing paraphernalia was introduced, and some forty or fifty copies were to be «set," and as many owner's names to be written in the various books. Among the "great girls," as the smaller fry called them, was Sophia Bunker, the 'Squire's eldest "darter," who presented her book with a most "captiwating" smile. I didn't, of course, pay much attention to this, but, to compensate, took much pains to write her name "pooty consider'ble

a few extra flourishes. You may well conceive of my surprise, when, after a few minutes had elapsed, the book was returned to me, accompanied with the following remarks.

Master, you ha'n't spelt my name right." "Where's the mistake?" I inquired.

The Chris'en name isn't spelt S-o-p-h-i-a." "How do you spell it?"

"S-o-p-h-i-r-e!"

That is not right. Don't you know better than that?" and she looked hatchets at me. "You may take your seat;" she complied, though with divers

contortions of that sweet countenance, which, a few | was located in the cove near my boarding place. How moments previous, looked unutterable things.

many boys, in hastily reading the passage, "and there I then thought, more than ever, Jimmy Fox's re- was a great calm," have called it “a great clam !" mark, that “names is arbitrary," contained not a little Instances, without number, have occurred of similar truth. On the whole, I felt a little too arbitrary openly if not worse, mistakes. Why not, then, for this reason to acquiesce in it. I did not, however, have the re-setting all others aside, reject the use of this book in motest idea of the consequences of my conduct toward our common schools? the fair S-o-p-h-i-r-e.

Kind reader, I fear I have been tedious, and I'l trespass but a moment longer upon your patience. “A little month," as I have before intimated, had barely elapsed, when the gathering storm reached its crisis. The wrath of Jacob Bunker, Esquire, could no longer be restrained within its mortal tenement, and he commenced the work of revenge. At his request, after numerous applications, the school committee united with him in calling a district meeting to "take into

Pope, I believe, remarked, that "order is heaven's first law," and I commenced with a determination to preserve it within the precincts of my school. But in endeavoring to make myself familiar with my scholars, I relaxed rather more than was advisable, and disorder, 'ere long, reigned almost triumphant. The rogues took all manner of advantage of my good nature, and the school did really, at times, assume a very ludicrous aspect. I will cite a few instances:In one part of the room you would see one little scamp tickling his neighbor's ear with the feather of his quill, who would, of necessity, jump at the applica-consideration the manner" in which their school was tion. Here one would be seen amusing some two or three others, with a split stick affixed to his nasal organ, and there, another, with an old pair of glassless spectacles, put on bottom upwards. Another would be practising elementary drawing upon the plastering, shadowing forth forms of things which had no similitude to any thing in the whole range of animated nature. No bee-hive ever resounded with a greater din.

Order being in a measure restored, the "first class in spelling" takes the floor. Solomon Comstock, who stands at the head, is asked to spell "United States," whereupon master Solomon, holding up his head so as to look for all the world like one of Johnston's militia officers at a general review, roars out lustily,

"Y-o-u u, n-e-i--g-h-t nit, e-d ed, United, S-t-e-i-g-h-t-s States."

"Well done, Solomon," said I, "don't you feel faint?" Solomon looked somewhat crest-fallen, on hearing this question, and the next in order was called upon to spell the word.

conducted. In justice to the other members of the committee, I must say that I believe they were actuated by the best feelings towards me. A consultation was held between them and the agent in my presence, and, considering the excitement which the 'Squire had created, for he was popular with the vulgar herd they advised me to decline serving as schoolmaster any longer. I agreed to do it at the meeting which had been called, and would be held on the coming evening.

At the appointed time, the agent and myself went to the meeting. We found the room crowded, and such a collection! Falstaff's ragged regiment bore no comparison with it. Here were congregated

"Black spirits and white,

Red spirits and gray."

And such a commotion! Jacob had excited their evil passions to a tremendous pitch, and I had some fears that they would vent their spleen upon my de"Comfort Rollins, spell corporation.'" voted head. They were ripe for treason, stratagem "K-a-w cor, p-u-r por, a, s-h-u-n tion, corporation." and spoil. With difficulty the meeting was called to "Silence, boys;" the little rogues, who knew bet-order, and a moderator placed in the chair. As soon ter, had began to titter.

I was abundantly satisfied, in my own mind, that these boys, like the fashionable Misses Pennock, were most "indifferent spellers." If I did'nt teach them something on this score, then-I'm no judge. "The first class in reading" was a match for the "spellers." The New Testament, every body knows, has been a class-book for readers in our common schools from time immemorial. May the time come when the committees shall have banished it entirely from such schools, and supplied its place with some more appropriate work. Many good men have raised their voices against the use of it in this manner, and their suggestions ought to receive mature deliberation. This was the reading book of the "first class." One of its members was reading the parable of the talents, and when he came to the words "an austere man," he read, “an oyster man ;" this construction being suggested, no doubt, by the fact of the oyster bed which

as the object of the meeting was announced, Jacob sprang upon his feet with the ferocity of a tiger, and made the following harangue :

"Mr. Maw-der-a-tur, I hope that are feller won't keep here no longer, for he a'n't fit to keep. He's a rig'lar baby, and I want a man to teach my darters. If he was to be hung, he couldn't spell my eldest darter's name. He tell'd her t'other day that S-o-p-h-i-r-e didn't spell Sophia. Now, if it don't, what in the |d—l does it spell? He larn 'um to spell? Blazes he can't do it! That's one of Lowell's masters. I guess we'll git another agent at March meet'n'. This feller he's got was born down at New Bruns'ick, in the King's domin'uns, and he's a rig'lar ailun and ha'n't bin civulized. Here's the lar agin such fellers keep'n school." (Here he held up the "Old Colony Laws," or something of the kind.) "Now, I moshuns he be rig'larly dismissed from this 'ere school!"

Jacob had evidently done his best. When he had