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My wife (but, I protest, without desert)
Hath oftentimes upbraided me withal ;
To her will we to dinner.-Get you home,
And fetch the chain; by this, I know, 'tis made:
Bring it I pray you, to the Porcupine ;
For there's the house ; that chain will I bestow
(Be it for nothing but to spight my wife),
Upon mine hostess there : good sir, inake haste:
Since my own doors refuse to entertain me,
I'll knock elsewhere, to see if they'll disdain me.
Ang. I'll meet you at that place, some hour, sir,

hence. E. Ant. Do so; This jest shall cost me some expence.



The House of ANTIPHOLIS of Ephesus. Enter

CIANA with ANTIPHOLiS of Syracuse. Luc. And may it be that you have quite forgot 131

A husbands's office? shall, Antipholis, hate, Even in the spring of love, thy love-springs rot?

Shall love, in building, grow so ruinate? If you did wed my sister for her wealth, Then, for her wealth's sake, use her with more

kindness : Or, if you like elsewhere, do it by stealth ; Muffle your false love with some shew of blindness :



Let not my sister read it in your eye;

Be not thy tongue thy own shame's orator;
Look sweet, speak fair, become disloyalty ;

Apparel vice; like virtue's harbinger:
Bear a fair presence, though your heart be tainted

Teach sin the carriage of a holy saint;
Be secret false; What need she be acquainted ?

What siinple thief brags of his own attaint ?
'Tis double wrong, to truant with your bed,

And let her read it in thy looks at board:
Shame hath a bastard fame, well managed ;

Ill deeds are doubled with an evil word.
Alas, poor women! make us but believe,

Being compact of credit, that you love us;]
Though others have the arm, shew us the sleeve;

We in your motion turn, and you may move us.
Then, gentle brother, get you in again ;

my sister, cheer her, call her wife :
'Tis holy sport, to be a little vain,

When the sweet breath of flattery conquers st
S. Ant. Sweet mistress (what your name is els

know not;
Nor by what wonder you do hit of mine)
Less, in your knowledge,' and your grace, you s

not Than our earth's wonder ; more than earth diTeach me, dear creature, how to think and spe

Lay open to my earthy gross conceit, Smother'd in errors, feeble, shallow, weak, The folded meaning of your words' deceit.

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Against my soul's

pure truth why labour you, To make it wander in an unknown field ? Are you a god? would you create me new?

Transform me then, and to your power I'll yield. But if that I am I, then well I know,

Your weeping sister is no wife of mine, Nor to her bed no homage do I owe ;

Far more, far more, to you do I decline. Oh, train me not, sweet mermaid, with thy note,

To drown me in thy sister's flood of tears; Sing, syren, for thyself, and I will dote:

Spread o'er the silver waves thy golden hairs, And as a bed I'll take thee, and there lie; And, in that glorious supposition, think

180 He gains by death, that hath such means to die :

Let love, being light, be drowned if he sink!
Luc. What are you mad, that you do reason so!
S. Ant. Not mad, but mated; how, I do not know.
Luc. It is a fault that springeth from your eye.
S. Ant. For gazing on your beams, fair sun, being

by. Luc. Gaze where you should, and that will clear

your sight. S. Ant. As good to wink, sweet love, as look on

night. Luc. Why call you me, love? call my sister so. S. Ant. Thy sister's sister.

190 Luc. That's my sister.

S. Ant. No;
It is thyself, mine own self's better part;

Mine eye's clear eye, my dear heart's dearer hea:
My food, my fortune, and my sweet hope's aim
My sole earth's heaven, and my heaven's clain

Luc. All this my sister is, or else should be.

Ant. Call thyself sister, sweet, for I mean ti
Thee will I love, and with thee lead my life ;
Thou hast no husband yet, nor I no wife :
Give me thy hand.

Luc. Oh, soft, sir, hold you still;
I'll fetch my sister, to get her good-will. [Ex.:

Enter DROMIO of Syracuse.

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S. Ant. Why, how now, Dromio? where i thou so fast ?

S. Dro. Do you know me, sir ? am I Dromio I your man? am I myself?

S. Ant. Thou art Dromio, thou art my man, art thyself.

S. Dro. I am an ass, I am a woman's man, ai sides myself.

S. Ant. What woman's man? and how 1 thyself?

S. Dro. Marry, sir, besides myself, I am d woman; one that claims me, one that haw one that will have me.

S. Ant. What claim lays she to thee?

S. Dro. Marry, sir; such a claim as you wa to your horse; and she would have me as á not that, I being a beast, she would have T


k on



that she, being a very beastly creature, lays claim to me.

S. Ant. What is she?

S. Dro. A very reverent body; ay, such a one as a man may not speak of, without he say, sir-reverence : I have but lean luck in the match, and yet is she a wondrous fat marriage.

S. Ant. How dost thou mean, a fat marriage?

S. Dro. Marry, sir, she's the kitchen-wench, and all grease; and I know not what use to put her to, but to make a lamp of her, and run from her by her own light. I warrant, her rags, and the tallow in them, will burn a Poland winter: if she lives 'till doomsday, she'll burn a week longer than the whole world.

S. Ant. What complexion is she of?

S. Dro. Swart, like my shoe, but her face nothing like so clean kept; For why? she sweats, a man may go over shoes in the grime of it.

S. Ant. That's a fault that water will mend. 240

S. Dro. No, sir, 'tis in grain ; Noah's flood could not do it.

S. Ant. What's her name?

S. Dro. Nell, sir ;- but her name and three quarters (that is, an ell and three quarters) will not ineasure her from hip to hip.

S. Ant. Then she bears some breadth ?

S. Dro. No longer from head to foot, than from hip to hip: she is spherical, like a globe; I could find out countries in her.

250 S. Ant.

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